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Things are starting to feel a little crazy around here again, so I had an idea to lighten them up a bit. Or at least amuse myself and anyone who knows Derek Hale.

Like any good uncle, I have a huge amount of pictures of Derek from when he was in his younger, awkward stages. Before he grew into his ears and started working out.

If you'd like to subscribe to the Embarrassing Pictures Of Derek Hale mailing list, message me your e-mail or phone number, whichever way you'd prefer to receive the aforementioned pictures.

First one's on me.

Some stats to cheer myself up:

Days until the end of the semester: 33
Percentage of semester completed: 54.7%

Days until WonderCon: 28
Percentage of costumes completed: 33.3%

Days until spring break: 5
Percentage of spring break that will be spent spring break-ing: 14.2%


...okay, maybe the last one is more depressing than cheering.

Given things lately, I've made some decisions for myself. Along with that, I spent the past few days at the archery range. I've really missed this.

How's everyone fairing after all the craziness of last weekend?

I often wonder why I watch Ink Master. It always ends up giving me a headache.

Thank god for Brownies. I needed this frosted brownie like nobody's business after being stuck inside for so long. Sunlight, chocolate, and the soft grass under my feet are all I needed today. The rain tomorrow will be a bonus.

I've been waiting for this month my entire life. I ain't even exaggerating.

Enjoy fighting it out, LA. I'll be in New York.

The answer to my question was yes.

( cut for a lot of gifs. )

How upset with me do you think Robert would be if I sent these to him on Valentine's Day?

I think everyone at the office might get one, instead. Or at least the people I've worked with. There are an awful lot of people over at Stark, after all.

Valentine's Day is almost here. Every store is like a huge PSA. We do get it. I don't need pink thrust in my face every step of the way. The only problem is that I still can't decide on a gift.

I'm also dreaming. Now I've kind of had some to tie the rest together. I know Clary's mother got kidnapped, and it was all over this Mortal Cup. We are trying to find the cup, and Clary's mind is locked. I had to take her to the Silent Brothers, who are freaks, to find out what was going on, and guess who else I found in the middle - Magnus, this is where you come in.

I think I get the stele now. I'm practicing runes, at least on paper. I might try putting one on.

It's funny how we use the heart to symbolize love. You'd think it would be another organ. But the heart is life and often a romance leaves you wishing yourself dead.

I do have a fondness for roses, though. Those never go amiss.

After watching this video, I feel like I'm dramatically indulging my dogs. Lucy just lazes about all day watching me work, and Colin is too busy chasing rabbits in his sleep to do much of anything. I've taught them to sit and stay, but that's about as much as they care to do.

Some days, Lucy doesn't even want to walk, she just whines at me until I carry her everywhere.

I didn't want to leave the poor little thing at home all day, so I've started taking Chas to work with me.

Apparently, having a small white fluffy dog under my desk makes me incredibly popular, therefore making it difficult to get work done. Not that Chas is a distraction, but the people who keep wanting to play with him are.

But they have to play with him at my desk, since I don't want to risk losing him.

The trials and tribulations of office life I suppose.

I think I'm ready to up my cosplay game to the next level. I mean, you can only be a guy in a dress so many times before it becomes expected. Unfortunately, my manufacturing skill set is strictly 19th century. I can sew and knit. I'm okay with makeup if it's not more complicated than eyeliner and nail polish. And I'm a fairly decent wig stylist. And honestly, for most cosplay, that's all you need. But I've always wanted to put together something awesome. A mecha. Or actual armor. Or a superhero. Maybe a racebent-genderbent superhero.

So. Open call. There are millions of people in the world. One of you reading this has to know somebody who cosplays or who wants to cosplay or who you can persuade to make costumes. Serendipity. Fate. Destiny. I'm waiting for you.

Fuckkkkkkkkk.

I'm pushin' 30 for real today.
Pretty sure this means I only got a year left to live.

Think my hangover is more due to mozzarella sticks than it is booze. Pretty sure I'm okay with that.

Merry Christmas to me, I get dreams about my family dying in a horrible fire and my uncle tearing apart my sister.

Also two teenage assholes trespassing on my property. Three guesses as to who that was, and the first two don't count.

It's time.

Happy 'Fuck Yeah, Pie' Day, everyone.

Life just isn't worth it once fruit pies go outta season.

Halloween candy coma. Not even guilty.

I kind of want to throw a Halloween masquerade for my birthday. You know, a completely over the top monster-movie-monster's ball. Is that too cliche? I'd just have to find a ballroom somewhere...

I take it back. The tattoo I got from the dreams sucked. And the dreams sucked.

But these pants that just showed up are fuckin' awesome. Almost as awesome as the arc welder.

Really, I wish people would stop blathering on about how Miley Cyrus is going to end the world with her bottom. Though I suppose this is because I know what certain photographers have incredibly tawdry photos Carly Rae Jepsen.

This dream stuff still takes some getting used to.

In other news, I've managed to fill out all of the applications that were sitting on my desk. It certainly was a boring task but, at least, that's done.

How is everyone else fairing?

So, the universe gave me morning sickness for my birthday. Big fucking surprise.

I swear to god, I'm so sick of getting lectures on how I need to be a more social person. I work a solid five days a week and usually come in to help on days off, it's not like I have a lot of time to be social.

If my uncle spent as much time worrying about himself and his own life as he did worrying about mine, he might have his shit together.

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So, I've been out gathering applications and such. It's quite daunting to look at the stack of papers but I'm going to try and get them out of the way today. I don't have anything else to do and the sooner I get the done, the sooner I can get a job, right?

Anyone have any useful hints when it comes to filling out applications? Things I should or shouldn't do?

Also, picture doesn't relate...just proving that better pictures of me and my bro do exist. :P

Being blown up sucks, an' I gotta say, I don't recommend it for no one.

While out walking Lucy and Colin today, Colin decided to be a little fashion plate and pose for me. I swear, between Lucy's churro addiction and Colin insisting he have accessories, my life has become a pet-based comedy.

Nobody will believe I dream I'm a demon at this rate. Well. Maybe when I tell them I'm a lawyer and PR guy.

I love making other entertainment lawyers cry. It's almost like I'm so brilliant that they can't contain themselves.

I deserve a very nice dinner, and by damn it, I'll have it.

Beer.

Jubilee and I are going to have a big party with cake to celebrate how awesome we are. Everybody is invited.

EDIT: September 14th is the day of the party.

Alright, two things:

1. I'd like to talk to whoever the hell is in charge of naming monsters. This crap is getting out of hand. I mean how the hell is anyone supposed to take something called a friggen Rugaru seriously? Sounds straight out of Scooby Doo. Related to that (so thing 1a, I guess?) I feel like I should start taking some kind of tally about the number of times something tries to eat me or Sammy in these dreams.

2. Welcome home, baby.

The hardest thing about having a new roommate is getting used to wearing clothes all the time. And not having sex anywhere but our bedroom. Surprisingly, the roommate himself has been no trouble, he mostly minds his own business. I think he's trying to be as unobtrusive as possible so we don't kick him out. I guess we'll see how that goes once he settles in and figures out we're not jerks.

What marvellous things people come up with nowadays. A couple in Venice Beach wants to open an entirely milk-and-cereal restaurant, with a few extra options. They're running a kickstarter, and I chipped in some money. I think it's inventive.

I predict a flood of stoners there at all hours.

I had a meeting today with a new client, and while we were making the requisite small talk she told me about a small dog she was trying to find a home for at a shelter here in the OC. Apparently she couldn't take the dog in herself, but she'd fallen in love with him and didn't want him to live at a shelter forever (fortunately for said dog, it was a no-kill shelter).

So, that's how I ended up going to an animal shelter on my lunch break with Lucy and finding her a companion. Valarnet, Colin. I think he's part papillon, part derp. He's a bit on the senior side, hence his cataracts, but since I have the means to make his twilight years comfortable, I'm going to do so.

... belatedly, I hope Scud doesn't mind another housemate.

What. The. FUCK?! How did this happen? I was only at Disneyland for 20 minutes when this happened!!

[[ooc: Backdated to the start of the plot! Sorry guys, grandpa has been in and out of the hospital]]

I have a craving. A craving for sweet pineappley goodness. A goodness that can only be sated by a Dole Whip. A Dole Whip which can only be purchased at Disneyland.

[ooc: Kol is still a woman right now. I was late to the game. Sorry for the confusion.]

Off home tomorrow. Didn't realize it sneak up on me like that. Maybe should have had everything ready earlier, but, it is what it is. Hope I haven't forgotten anything.

And I've got company now. Which is great. Transatlantic flights can take it out of you without someone to chat to.

I'd like to say I won't miss the OC, but I think we all know that I will. See you all in a couple of weeks. Try not to get into too much trouble.

In case you lot were wondering, I was not affected by the body problems, thank everything ever. I do not need strange bodies stretching out my suits.

In other news, I saw the new Proactiv+ infomercials recently and giggled. You don't even want to know what a celebrity needs to do to get penalized with doing those fuckers. I'll give you a hint: it involves shagging people you shouldn't shag (not necessarily minors, but possibly certain powerful people's significant others) while in the commission of two or three felonies. Hollywood loves those infomercials when they're not in them, but when they get blacklisted until they do one - well.

Guthy-Renker is basically like the modern version of the 1940s Hollywood mafia. Which is a bit sad, really.

Let me tell you, lookin' in the mirror and seeing a face tha ain't mine ain't comfortable.

What. The. Hell. Who.. wha.. ah mean.. what? Oh ah don't even know how to handle this right now.

Also... who ever... has my body, you hurt it, ah'll hurt you. Fair? Now who's got red hair and a white streak that normally doesn't?

Weird kinda dreams. Only a few near death experiences. Counts for something, I guess?

Anyway. I guess I'm feelin' like it's a donut and ice cream kinda day. Or maybe the beach? I dunno. Anyone feel like hangin' out?

Well that dream was ... terribly depressing. Classic love story, though. Demon leaves hell because it's sick of all the endless murdering, borrows a girlsuit (shut up, Miles), falls in love with a boy who's nothing special except he's everything the demon isn't, Hell sends people to come collect said stray demon, human doesn't understand and thinks his best girl was taken to Hell for no reason, human uses demon's book of summoning to summon that exact demon, demon doesn't want human to be damned for loving it, demon tries to get human to think that girl is a badass killing machine, human endures, human orders demon for girl, demon puts girlsuit back on again and explains things and that it's not worth saving, human goes home and burns book.

Yeah. I tell the person I love that I'm not worth it and it should just go. Meanwhile, demon me is stuck with eternal torment and permanently broken legs. I have to crawl on my belly for all time. I'm sure there's a metaphor there.

Sorry for the rambling, all, I'm just ... I don't know. I woke up kind of upset because of it.

I am honestly not sure if any of you will care, but I just got invited to Gastronomika Conference, in San Sebastian, Spain. It's supposed to be for the best chefs around the world, but oftentimes up-and-coming chefs are invited to be guests. If I'm a guest, I will enjoy myself immensely. If I'm presenting, I may explode.

I should probably stop smoking.

Woke up this morning and uh...this was burned onto my arm. Weirdest damn thing. Aren't these dreams everyone keeps talking about supposed to start before you end up with scars that weren't there the night before?

Anyway, I got no idea what this is, what it means where it came from or anything. It's just there. It doesn't hurt. Seems to be fully healed. Buddy of mine at the shop snapped a picture of it while I was just checking to make sure. That explains the face. And why you can see both my hands. It's a really friggen hard angle to try to take a picture of yourself, man.

Does anyone with experience with these friggen dream things happen to know if there's a pattern or something? Any way to get some friggen context for what's going on on my arm here?

National Ice Cream month, and already outta ice cream. The day ain't goin' well.

Bored and tired of cat naps and imminent danger or whatever the hell.
Who wants t'do something? M, you home yet?

I don't like this. I can always hear a fight, or someone getting hurt. I'm used to the noise of the city, but there isn't much of that, anymore. Just noises from the dreams, but too real and too close. I don't want to be able to hear this well anymore. I don't want any of this at all.