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Good afternoon. My name is Kreia. I come from England, but I spend my winters here in Orange County. The cold is better for my arthritis.

The young woman who set up this account for me seemed astonished that I knew what a "listserv" and a "security key" were. Just because I appear to be an elderly lady does not mean that all my brain cells have died off. For those of you who can accept that and not talk to me like an old fool, I am pleased in advance to meet you.

Seeing as how Thanksgiving isn't exactly a holiday I've ever celebrated, I'm contemplating spending part of the day at the Children's Home. I'm sure they'll need help and will be happy to have it. Perhaps after Tywin will want to have dinner.

Is anyone else going to volunteer this Thanksgiving? (Really, it's rather far off, but 'tis the season with all of the holidays in it.) I don't have any family, so it just makes sense.

And before someone says "surely you have an aunt or something", no. I don't. My parents were both only children, my mom died when I was young, and my father when I was seventeen. My grandparents passed a few years ago. So no. I don't.

Well, I suppose this is one time when Skyping and/or texting at the office is a perfectly legitimate means of communication.

[Jack]
No, that doesn't mean I'm going to send you selfies of my trousers. At least not whilst I'm just down the hall.

Stark Industries will be holding their annual Halloween Costume Party on Saturday 26th October, it will be open to everybody and will be fully catered.

I look forward to seeing you all there.

So, the universe gave me morning sickness for my birthday. Big fucking surprise.

Tomorrow night I'm flying back to London for the first time in quite a few months. I'm excited to be going back, but it's a different sort. I've reasons to come back, this time.

It's nice.

I think I might have to go take a trip to visit my Grandmother back home soon. It's been a while and she usually has me help decorate her house for the holidays and she wants to see me before Thanksgiving happens. Which I am super excited about because she makes the most amazing Thanksgiving dinner ever, but I'm extremely biased in that opinion.

So, what's everyone's favorite fall activity? I'm kind of looking forward to the fun Halloween horror events that go on. Who doesn't love being scared? Oh and apple cider.

[Martha]
Would you like to come with me when I go to visit her?

Okay, so how old on average do you have to be before you start putting "the" in front of things superfluously? "The Google", "The Gays", going to "The Target".

Just stop. Please.

I was getting dinner tonight, and a young man called me a milf. I've never been called a milf before, it was slightly flattering but mostly creepy.

I keep getting random comments on the street though. It's odd because I've never gotten them before. I wonder what's different.

A word to every man out there: Don't cat call a woman. She doesn't like it.

This phasing is quite a pain in the arse. I just spent a good fifteen minutes attempting to pick up the tea kettle, but my hand kept going through it instead. I would appreciate it if this ability would kindly stop. The last thing I need is to accidentally phase through a piece of furniture and break a hip.

So I walked into the kitchen this morning to find the dogs playing tag with each other, which is normal except for the fact that they were playing tag by flying around. I cannot help but find that somewhat odd...

I debated retiring recently, but then I realized I'd be really very bored. So that's straight out. I could use a few more hobbies, though. Knitting or something.

I have to admit, I do enjoy America. Perhaps it's the....shall we say, diversity....present in the United States. The sane and the insane sit next to each other on the train, albeit the number of insane opinions I heard on the train means I won't be taking it again.

In other news, I was accosted by several youths today. They seemed to assume that my age made me an easy target. I wasn't.

I think the people known as 'paparazzi' might be the lowliest form of life currently existing. Say what you like about serial killers, at least when they're lurking outside your home they have the courtesy to murder you and end the farce. Or perhaps I'm bitter because the young man currently crouching in a car at the end of my street like a wounded badger.

These creatures nest in trees taking photographs of women's underwear, people's day-to-day going-ons, and newborn infants. They would be arrested if they didn't justify themselves as 'giving the public what they want'. Well, the public are idiots. They don't know what they want. The public will want what they're given if they get enough of it.

Well my first week of being an intern over summer went well. I am set up on the computer and their systems and am shadowing one of the lawyers. It is very interesting and I am glad it is re-affirming that I am on the correct career path.

Would someone care to explain this Honey Boo Boo show to me? I happened to come across it this evening and I'm fairly certain I may have lost a couple of brain cells. How do these people get television programs? Who actually watches these programs?

My daughter has just gone through all her toys and packed up the ones that she feels she has outgrown. Next thing I know, she'll be asking her father to teach her how to drive. I knew it was coming, but I'm not sure how I should feel about this.

Well, this crisis has certainly been...interesting. Thankfully it didn't arrive on my doorstep like so many others, and therefore my family is unharmed. Still, it has been a curiosity.

A local theatre troup and a nuclear attack? They must really think we're all a bunch of slack jawed dimwits. Is this what they do here? Make up ludicrous excuses for explainable events?

YOU GUYS.
I'M GETTING MAYBE* RE-PROPOSED TO TONIGHT.
AND THEN REMARRIED.
TO TULIO. OBVIOUSLY.



*I say maybe because we don't remember. But that's cool. We will now.
This is gonna be some romantical stuff going on over here.

Ugh, those zombie things taste horrible!

My tea sets.

They are singing.

I am wondering if anyone has ever come across a girl called Mary Eunice McKee.

She would be in her twenties, I think; Caucasian, blonde, with big blue eyes.

She would be sweet and willing to learn, most likely. But there might also be a chance that she would be sly. Manipulative. Disdainful of authority and even crude.

I hope she isn't real. If you have ever met her or know of her, would you be willing to send me a message? It may be very important.

Private to Oliver Queen: I'm going to be late coming over today. I'm going to do something I haven't done in a while - go to Mass.

Oh, you can hear them all too? What a fun time for you!

Just be careful what you tell squirrels. They're awful at keeping secrets.

My dogs seemed to have worked out some sort of circus act, involving tumbling, pyramids, and a musical number.

If you need me, I'll be drinking in the basement, with the door locked.

If I thought that the dogs that my grandchild own were annoying before, that was nothing compared to the fact that they can apparently talk now. In all my years I have not once come across a talking animal aside from a parrot. Would anyone care to explain why animals are suddenly able to speak English? It's very unsettling, to say the least.

I've never used the Internet for more than occasional e-mails to my grandchildren, but apparently this board is where new arrivals to Orange County should be, according to my grandchildren, in order to socialize. Why people can't socialize face to face anymore is beyond me. Some of you may know my grandchildren; Loras and Margaery Tyrell. I am Olenna Tyrell and have recently moved out here from Sweden to keep an eye on them. I'm currently staying with them and their three monsters for a few days.

A very misinformed journalist recently wrote about the possibility of my leaving the company I spent so long rebuilding so I can enter politics. The basis for this judgement? A 'donation' I made to a Republican party candidate. It was not a 'donation'. That is not my business.

( private to Tyrion )
( private to Jaime )

I'm getting very tired of the police. Detectives who think they're stepped off the set of The Bill. They try to pressure me, push me, even lightly threaten me....and it never works.

Being a lawyer means I put my own feelings or prejudices to bed: it doesn't matter if they're a serial killer or a little girl, they will get the same treatment....depending on what they'll respond to. With children, you either have to coddle them or get aggressive. They're not overly complicated. Of course, criminals themselves are rarely complicated.

For all the detectives, police officers and fat sweaty security guards out there: please, try and be professional.