I've come to the conclusion that I've been wasting my life.
(Before you stop reading: Don't. I assure you, this is not another mopey, self-reflective post about the love and loss and dreams we don't ask for. It's an offer.)
It's true. I've been wasting my life, toiling as just another staff engineer at yet another fortune 500 company with an impressive name (no offense, Mr. Stark), and not doing something real
with the knowledge and talent I possess. There's more to life than being trapped in a lab, being told what to make.
So, I won't anymore. As of today, I'm free to announce the creation of L, Incorporated (or, L-Corp, if you will), a technologies start-up that plans to modernize the industry from the ground up. And, frankly, I need you to come with me. I have investors, inventors, and connections already forged, but I need more
Engineers: Whatever you're being paid currently, L-Corp is prepared to double it. If you're someone whose name and work I recognize, I'll triple it.
Students: If you are in any of the STEM fields, I'm willing to offer a merit-based paid internship.
Anyone else: If you give me a reason to hire you, I will.
Apply now at lcorp.com, but be sure to mention to me that you plan to do so. I'll make sure my hiring staff knows that we've spoken previously.
Thank you, everyone, for your attention.