Network

To be from London and living here, it brings upon a slew of thoughts and the urge to travel back given recent events. Hasn't been this bad since IRA bombings in the 90s. However, it's a challenge that will take a generation or so to overcome - but we will, and living in fear is no way to live at all.

But alright, I won't go on about that. I find this is entirely too accurate when it comes to parenthood:

( cut for image )

Children are disgusting, they really are. Those adorable buggers.

Against my better judgement, because apparently I need a hobby, I have decided to potentially take up a class of students. If willing, I will be teaching self defense and attack strategies. Much of it will be my own personal fighting style so be honored. A lot of you have developed powers through these so called dreams, but I'll bet a good deal of you don't know shit about how to throw a punch and in this town it seems like something you might need down the line. You can't always rely on your powers alone. You need a fallback and how to use that fallback.

This class won't be for the faint of heart. There will be a waiver and I will need information on your next of kin. Also, training will be taking place at my personal home so don't make me regret inviting you or I'll make YOU regret it.

Idiots need not apply.

Walls were so much cheaper to repair when they were mostly paper.

I thought that, since I'm personally focusing more on divination and my actual occult research job now (though it's given me a chance to try out more tools than cards and teacups - I've been using lithomancy and mirrors quite a bit now if anyone wants to experience a reading), I would do another recruitment drive for our Magic Guild. We've recently added an Apparition category as well. If interested, feel free to contact me - even if you just want a tour of our HQ and aren't sure which category you fall into, I'm available for that too.

Heartburn has become my worst enemy lately, but I'm still good for giving tours. Ginger and standing up while eating seem to help though being in my last trimester of pregnancy, I'm headed to 'get him out of me' sooner rather than later, I'm sure.

Round #3 with Hellmaster (may it be the last ever, peace out jerkface) went a little differently then I'm used to - Lord of Nightmares just went whoosh out of my body after Big Bad Destruction happened, no bargaining necessary - but I can't complain. My hair's not blonde, nothing's going into the abysmal toilet of nothingness, it's a good day. Now the next adventure involves finding the Stupid Swordsman a new legendary sword because his got transported back into its rightful overlord, and some idiot village mayor tried to convince me Excalibur was real so I punched him in the face. I don't know how I didn't get arrested but, well, can't complain there either.

In other news, Pete and I are looking for a doctor in our lovely dream community whose got some experience with genetics. We want to get our recently mobile child tested for this mutant gene, and I know there's a couple of you out there who might know someone?

( PM to John Constantine )

I think I need drinking company today. It's been a...day. I need to drink and it seems like a sad thing to do on my lonesome. Also I need to be anywhere that my dad is not right now because someone had to go and make things awkward and I can't look at him. I thought I knew embarrassment, but I was mistaken.

Not sure what to think about you all. Ran into an old friend who gave me about as much info as I can handle (and that was some trippy shit) but I'm not really a message board kind of individual. Might be more a ghost around here but I thought I'd introduce myself anyway.

I'm Garcian. I clean crime scenes. You might of seen some mofo in a hazmat suit on a lame-ass reality TV show, what, like 'Dirty Jobs' or some shit? Yeah, it's dirty. Scraping blood and bodily fluids off the walls tends to be. Maybe I'll see some of you after you blow yourselves to bits with your damn fireworks, but here's a tip: don't do that.

the more i learn about magic, the more i'm certain witches and wizards were meant to prank people most of the time with some time set aside for fucking shit up and then fixing that shit that you just fucked up. then there's just some stuff thrown in there for show and sparkles. like magic tricks. you can seriously just make bubbles come out of the end of your wand and then decorate an entire room with bubbles. the answer to your question is yes, yes, i did decorate my room with a lot of bubbles just to do it. don't worry, hawke, i won't let them make a mess of things. i am o+ at magic. i've been practising. obvs.

I took the dogs and cat to the vet today for checkups. The labs were amazing as always, but Miss Ell was not happy at all. I hope the assistant didn't need to get stitches after that scratch...the vet let her do all the holding. I felt real awful so I asked her if I could do anything to make it up.

I guess I have a date now. I don't remember her name or where we're going but she wrote it down...the paper's here somewhere.

This isn't so much of an existential crisis as a what the hell is life and does this really exist??

Apparently there's this comic where I'm teaming up with Ian McKellan (dressed as Gandalf) and we're entrusted with this, uh, task from the Sorcerer's Guild and going up against demon summoners from Mordor. I think there's a panel with flying banana peels - look, I don't know - and then the shenanigans cause me to flip a table of food that just showed up outta nowhere.

Cue explosions.

And Christopher Lee (dressed as Saruman) at the end.

I don't know much about Lord of the Rings but what I do know is this: Sunday afternoons need vodka in the orange juice, not champagne. I'll be toasting to you, Sir Ian McKellan.

I didn't go to school today..I don't really feel like going at all this week but I know I need to. My chest and my head hurt real bad. The faint outline of the moon mark on my forehead showed up, but i can hide it pretty good with my bangs. but thats not really the worst part.

Has..anyone else dreamed they died?

I had an eventful day. Put a baby bird back in its nest when I was out running with the dogs. And then I was in the parking lot of a grocery store for two hours helping people put their groceries in their cars. I guess I looked like a worker there. People were really nice, though, trying to give me tips.

Spending the night in the emergency room isn't very fun. Got my foot stepped on by a spooked horse with all the storming last night before work started. We also couldn't get through to call one of the others to replace me, so, show had to go on. taking a break from the restaurant for a few nights, then back to it. I'll be at the bar still though!

It looks like these dreams are officially a problem.

And I do mean problem. Word of warning; I'm about make a damn good attempt to drink this county dry.

Hey there, folks. The name's Gourry Gabriev. I was pointed to this net from my new employer Garret Hawke. I'm now gonna be working at The Hanged Man! Hope to see you all there.

Speaking of where I'm working, I'm gonna suggest a few other places where I can be found!

Medieval Times where you can cheer me, the Blue Knight on! It can be a family affair or even just for a business outing.

The Ren Faire! Come see me doing a bunch of things and enjoy what we have to offer! If you tell me you know me from here, I'll even make you a personalized bracelet. I'm a damn good blacksmith if I do say so myself. This weekend, be there and I'll hang out with you.

Now that I'm done shamelessly plugging my works... how's it going? I live in Buena Park to stay close to my main work, and I own two dogs and a cat. Miss Ell, the cat, is pretty much a queen in regards how she's gotta be treated. Butter and Toast are my labs, only a year old each. So I love animals. Uh..I'm pretty nice, I think, and I have a good head on my shoulders. Let's chat it up.

I think I made this too date like...

It's a little narcissistic, I know, but I couldn't resist looking up my own action figures and I found this

The fuck?!

HI! ♥ ♥ I'm usagi tsukino!! ♥ ♥ I was told about this place from a super cool person named MISS LINA she was so cool and saved me! ♥ UM i don't know what else to say! how are you all????? ♥_♥ !

I've had a set of healing herbs carried over from the dream fairy aside from Dream Set #2 and behold, it was a saving grace - woke up with my windpipe not in the best shape thanks to an assassin in Dream Set #3 that snuck into my bedroom and almost choked me to death while staying in a castle. Someone didn't skimp on the money it took to hire a killer with some credibility, and it turns out this guy's never missed a target up until my swordsman pal heard the scuffle and barged in (wearing pajamas) to fight him off me. Nothing gets by Gourry, not even sneak attacks in the room next to him. It's like having a guard dog.

And now begins that reliable, stable cycle of being hunted, losing sleep, paranoia, another possible end of the world scenario caused by yours truly, but who knows. This one's got enough variance that it might go down differently. I'm still waiting for the fruitcake in cheap priest robes to show up and troll me appropriately.

Anyway, I stumbled upon the princess I named my daughter after and I hope, hope that I didn't curse my kid into fulfilling her namesake's reputation. Which involves longwinded speeches of justice and truth, while standing up in a high place, in the face of danger, like the demons she's talking to are about to realize the error of their ways and stop doing what demons do.

Some sects of our Magic Guild are looking a little sparse, since people have come and gone over the weeks and months. I thought I would put out another open call for recruitment. Potions are not my specialty, but I have been practicing more and more - however, we could use the help there and in most other areas.

Please let me know if you are interested. I'm Zatanna, by the way, in case we have not been formerly introduced.

National potato chip day. I've been craving Cool Ranch Doritos like crazy. I don't think that counts as potato chips but close enough.

Also I don't do this often but thanks to everyone that came to the baby shower. And Cindy and Lina for throwing it. Logan now his work cut out for him with the nursery. Pretty sure I have Lina to thank for all the presents.

How do you know when the Dreams are over?

Like sacrificing yourself so your team can get away and getting captured and carted off to the place where Jedi go to die...that seems pretty final, right?

who thought it was a good idea to make dream me a teacher? this is a terrible idea. muggle studies and deputy headmistress? what even? lol. someone trusts me. trusts me to be the worst at this job or maybe someone just hates students.

This county is completely mad sometimes. Alright, by 'sometimes,' I clearly mean on days of the week ending in 'y.' A house overflowing with candies from Britain, just what I always wanted.

I must have thought of it on a night I was particularly craving something sweet. Toffees, black licorice wheels, sugar mice, jelly babies, cherry bonbons, loads of Cadbury. At least the constantly-hungry wife is appreciating this. I'll share as well, not to worry.

Go big or go home - this year's Thanksgiving culinary centerpiece is going to be a cajun turducken. Chicken stuffed into duck stuffed into turkey, so it's basically an edible birdception of delicious meats. I'll probably end up wrapping it in bacon while it cooks so all the juices get absorbed because why not.

(Mostly doing this because my troll of dad said I couldn't pull it off and I will show that jerk otherwise.)

On a more OC-like note, the dream fairy gifted me with my 'WANTED' poster. You'd think I would have gotten this forever ago - every dream cycle involves bounties, me getting framed for things I didn't do, and demons trying to off me left and right - but nope, better late than never. I'd almost be tempted to toss it out if it also didn't have a depiction of two of my traveling companions, and considering I don't know any of them in this life, this will be the closest I'll ever get to a picture with them.

At least we were expensive.

My cheeks also aren't as chubby as what's depicted on the stupid thing, who the fuck got paid to do this???

What depressing times we live in. Left to go on a honeymoon and returned to...whatever this is. We ought to have stayed beneath the wonder of the Northern Lights for longer, I gather. But there were important things waiting for us upon our return - a fat calico cat (how is this fluff still alive), busy holiday season at my sister's occult bookshoppe, and of course our baby daughter. I missed her the most, admittedly. She's growing into her English nose.

Saw a few reindeer in Finland though. Reminded me that holiday madness is just around the corner. I can only imagine what will befall us this year, in Orange County.

Frantic wedding month starts out with waking up looking like a complete albino thanks to Dream Set #3 - white hair, don't care. My magic is zilch for the next couple days and I caved into getting coffee for the first time in what's probably been a year, but the next time I hear someone say 'ohhh she started Halloween early,' this hot pumpkin spice latte is going to be poured over their crotch.

So far it's a similar timeline with some differences, such as: the Queen of my home kingdom hates me, my sister's level of psychosis has risen a couple notches to the realm of potential abuse, and there's rumors going around in which I'm actually a 500-year-old reincarnation of a demon lord. There's a couple comforting constants, with Gourry still being an idiot and...well, no, that's really the only comforting constant. Still won't hand over the Sword of Light, either. What a bummer.

On the bright side, I woke up to a crap load of treasure salvaged from a bandit camp that mysteriously went up in flames. You know your life's made a complete turn-around when instead of hoarding the goods to yourself, it's all going into your child's college fund even if she's only barely five months old.

That also means I have some tiny clothes to get rid of because of time going too goddamn fast and her chunk factor increasing, if anyone needs 'em.

It's international Talk Like a Pirate Day today. Yeah, I know it's one of those made-up internet holidays, but whatever. I'm gonna spend the day annoying the crap out of my roommate with pirate talk.

Also, rum.

I never want to be sick like that again.

I hope everyone else is recovering.

Nothing new has happened dreamwise, just trying to get to Sherry still and dodging the infected. You know, normal stuff. I did get a few things from my dreams, a key and a hand crank. I have no idea why the hand crank came through, but who knows? Apparently my dreams thought it was important to have.

In real life news, since it's safe to announce it now, Dean and I are expecting. I'm feeling a bit better now, although the morning sickness hasn't completely gone away yet but I'm definitely looking forward to that finally easing up. And the exhaustion, I hate coming home every day after work and doing nothing but sleeping since I have house work that I'd like to get done and not rush around on my days off to get it accomplished.

A Whopperito? Just because you can put two different foods together, doesn't mean you have to. That looks disgusting. You couldn't pay me to eat that.

I cannot deny that sometimes the dreams can be personally satisfying. Pointing out to your boss, who controls fire, that he is useless in the rain just makes me wake up smiling. Does that make me a terrible person? In my defence he can be rather cocky.

Finding space for your zombie horse with a sword through its head (technically this makes him a bog 'unicorn') is a lot more difficult than one might anticipate.

But if anyone has heard of a place for dream pets? Mounts? Creatures? let me know. He's pretty self-sufficient and easy to take care of. Doesn't even eat much besides the occasional rotten apple I tend to find stashed in the kitchen by a certain someone who has a certain hidden squishy spot for the zombie horse.

( private message to lina )

Y'know, the one good thing about a second set of dreams is kind of knowing what to expect. I expected a baby-faced demonlord to kidnap my best friend to use against me, and I expected him to make us fight while Gourry was consumed by demonic armor. Typical repeat stuff.

But I don't think Hellmaster expected Gourry to put a literal hole in me with the Sword of Light under the armor's thrall, and I don't think he expected Gourry to break free from its influence and turn the sword onto himself. The last seconds of being alive, i saw my best friend stab himself. Definitely not how it went the first time around. Seriously, what? Ow on all fronts.

Lucky me, though - the Lord of Nightmares brought me back from death unprompted, just in time for my second rodeo with Hellmaster. It all went down the same way, where he wanted me to cast the Giga Slave so he can mess up the casting and make the world go boom. A pact with the Lord of Nightmares was made, an exchange of a life for a life. In the end Gourry traded the Sword of Light to her to get me back. All's well that end's well, but funny how this all comes around almost the exact day I got sucked into the void. No one's crap is disappearing a second time in an apocalyptic storm, don't worry.

On a happier note, our baby is two months old this very day. I'm going to enjoy the last stretch of maternity leave with my little stinker before it's back to the desk, picking apart magical bits and bobs and wearing clothes that don't have throw up on them.

Damn, this place kind of makes for interesting stories to tell the kids later, doesn't it? Like how my girlfriend went into labor during Monster Madness, and my nearly-thirteen-year-old son proved he's a crack shot with a BB gun, when he took out flying monkeys on the way to the hospital.

But all's well that ended well. Emma gave birth to our second son, Nikolas Liam Nolan Cassidy, a patriotic nine pound baby, on the 4th of July. Every bit of his name has a story behind it, and hopefully he won't hate us later for giving him two middle names. He was a little past due so I guess he decided to make his entrance really memorable. Both are doing well though, up for visitors at the hospital, and Nikolas should be able to come home with us in a day or two.

Thank you to those who pitched in to help keep others safe and deal with what came out of those rifts. They're all closed now, and so is the Breach - which was the main tear in what I assume is our Veil here, and so with that patched up then no more nasty things should be coming through.

So I believe we're out one Wal-Mart and I'm out one arm, and it took me forever to even type this up, but if anyone needs help with clean-up or anything else just let me know and I'll come by.

Oh, Andraste's sagging arse, I'm quite over the likes of Thedas. I suppose it was good that I was warned my lover would volunteer to stay behind in the Fade in some act of heroism or some shit like that. Because otherwise, waking up to find the letter from his best friend regarding his death there on the nightstand would be a really bad fucking surprise.

I need a few of Dorian's sparkly balls to take my mind off this.

But the lighter part of it all is that I got a new outfit? One with actual trousers this time, a very grown-up swashbuckling outfit, complete with gigantic pirate hat. I feel about a thousand years old by the time the Inquisition happens, but I look great and am still stabbing people so I suppose that's also a good thing.

I'm apparently now the antagonist in my own Dreams. Nice.

One of the enemies in my dreams calls himself Apocalypse. He's as bad as he sounds. We keep thinking we beat him but he keeps coming back, like an apocalyptic energizer bunny.

Things I want for Mother's Day, but can't have:

- Time speeding up so I can pop this bundle of brat out of me.
- To sleep on my stomach again.
- To sleep at all, and preferably on my bed, because lately the hard floor's colder and more comfortable.
- To see kitten videos and not cry because their cuteness is somehow so goddamn moving.

And to dream less about town slaughter in the hands of a demonic fruitcake, but that's unrelated to me being a roly poly. It's another round of 'shit breaks, blame Lina for it awhile simultaneously making comments about the size of her breasts.' The story of my lives.

My dad sent me a picture to psych me up for my upcoming visit home in May. This is from my last visit. This is Boss, my parents' dog. He was meant to be a guard dog but he's really just a big softie. He's in love with me.

( there's a picture here )

is there anyone out there that appreciates the masterpiece that is sharknado? i need to know that i'm not the only one.

Many thanks to the conniving masterminds behind that surprise shower (and Zee for sacrificing her abode!), and many thanks for the abundance of meat I've only seen in medieval feasts in dreamland. I've been spending every waking moment of free time organizing the shit out of the nursery. And laughing at my own hormonal OCD. And then crying because the cat knocked everything over.

On another note, I flipped through the stinky old books I got from the dreamfairy, and there's a sealing spell that protects property against magical and natural fire. Well, alright, it's more of a ritual because it's tedious and time consuming, but around here a little extra insurance around these parts against the weird elements doesn't hurt.

If anyone wants the steps/ingredients, let me know. I'll send copies. I'll be setting it up for our own place for, uh, the obvious reasons. I can't remember what number we're on when it comes to TV replacements but it's pretty freakin' astounding how much money goes to preparing the shit we've broken.

Oh hey, Valarnet, what's going on? The world hasn't ended today, can I get a 'hell yeah'?

Kind of funny that we base our days on that, but what can you do.

I don't have much else to share besides IT'S A BOY!!!11! which we found out a little after Valentine's Day, and we're currently doing up the nursery (safari theme, very not cheesy or related to Neverland or fairy tales, thank fuck). Which brings me to my question: Anyone out there make furniture, or know someone who does? Em and I were interested in getting a rocking chair for the nursery, and I thought something hand-crafted would be nice. There are still a few months 'til we'd need it, so hopefully that's enough notice.

For sure, these dreams only get odder. And so do their side effects. In the dreams I had red eyes, and now, I do here, too. Not really sure how to feel about this.

What does one do when suddenly one needs sunglasses or contacts to walk outside?

Sometimes I think Dream me is suicidal. He takes on one of the most dangerous jobs in the area, mouths off to the Empire - the people he's trying to hide from - and gets into fights as though that's what he lives for. And just when I think he's probably the most miserable asshole in the galaxy, he goes and saves some jackass from a mining cave-in and in doing so blows his entire cover.

So, yeah, basically I'm the galaxy's worst Jedi. Sounds about right.

Fuck, I never post on this forum, do I? I think the last post I made I was a woman, then before that the bearer of bad news. It feels odd to not have anything catastrophic to say.

I've always hated that 'pink for girls, blue for boys' shit so imagine this in orange font or something. Anyway, according to the doctor's poking (which looked uncomfortable) we're having a girl and I unfortunately didn't get any 'it's a girl' biscuits or cakes or cigars, but if anyone wants to drink with me tonight, I'll be at [insert name of bar] and I'll buy you one.

Names are still being brainstormed. That one's tough, isn't it?

Getting on a long flight to France with Elizabeth. Honestly this feels like it's long over due.

Well, since it looks like I'm going to be here for a while, may as well try some good ol' fashioned social networking to see if I can find some good places to eat, a few dives to drink at and overall have some fun while I'm here.

Names Kanan.

I finally found my father in my dreams. Or he found me. I don't think he knows, and the dream-me doesn't know either. This has made her internal monologue horrifically awkward. Good thing she's as good at flirting as I am

My only friend tried to keep me captive, I figured out what the cameos I got for Christmas mean, and I got a taste of good old Edwardian era racism. I feel dirty just thinking about it. I hope to God that there's nothing so horrific hiding in plain sight in the real world.

I feel lost. In the dreams I've seen so much violence, most of it aimed at or perpetrated by my father. I'm a little terrified of what he's capable of, and who he really is. We don't know each other well and so far we've been polite.

Is it wrong to sometimes miss the golden cage I was kept in? I know logically that I'm better off and happier now, but emotionally. . . the world has a lot of good, still. I can't let these dreams get the best of me.

Now that my dreams are over I decided to take the PI exam to see how much information crossed over.

Turns out a lot. I didn't quite beat my dream score but I did get a ninety-three which is oddly the score my dad lied to me about getting when he took it.