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Say you have access to a space ship.

What's more romantic, the rings of Saturn or parked near one of Jupiter's moons?

How does one even become a professional curler? That is a crazy sport.

I still don't get the whole brushing thing, but it's a lot like shuffleboard, I think. Speaking of, why don't they have competitive shuffleboard. Can you just see a group of old people getting into that. It would be really cutthroat.

The answer to my question was yes.

( cut for a lot of gifs. )

So there was an earthquake in Gotham. My boyfriend Dean, who I also dated here weirdly enough, was all like 'peace out' when I said I was going to stick around and help people because he was worried about scratching his dad's car or some other nonsense. Which totally didn't surprise me since he was a massive jack off here too. Anyway, Spoiler springs into action and ends up running into Huntress. Oh my god, the Huntress. She's amazing, should never be allowed near weapons because oh my god does she love to kill people, but amazing.

She wanted to kill my dad though, not so amazing. I know I never really wanted my dad dead, I mean, he may be the biggest jerk in Gotham (Batman has nothing on my dad because Batman obviously has feelings) but he's still my dad. I ended up having to save him from her, but... I don't know if I feel good about it or not. Is there something wrong with me?

I might be late to the party on this story, but in case I'm not I thought I should share it.

"A man in Edmonton was allowed to board a flight after a pipe bomb found in his bag was confiscated by airport security, it appears. A security guard at Edmonton International Airport even tried to hand the bomb back to the passenger, CBC News reports.

The passenger in question, 18-year-old Skylar Vincent Murphy, was on his way to Mexico when the explosive device was found by airport security in his bag. A guard was reportedly caught on camera passing the bomb back to Murphy after inspecting his carry-on luggage. Apparently the teenager refused to take it back even when told he could keep it.

The bomb was said to be 15cm long and filled with gunpowder. The teenager claimed to have forgotten it was in the bag after making it with a friend for fun some months before.

He subsequently pleaded guilty and was fined 100 Canadian dollars."

So, not only do Canadian teenagers make bombs for fun, but this is apparently so common that airport security isn't even bothered. What in the world is going on up there?

Batman is such a jerk. First he compliments me on the fact that I was able to sneak up on him, then he starts using my real name and gets at grit teethed and is all 'I told you to shelve your costume and forget all this. SHELVE IT. FORGET IT. TONIGHT.' and swung away. But damn it, Robin and I work really well together and we're doing good work. I pull my own weight, I've even impressed Batman a few times, but no, I have to quit. Maybe he's just possessive over Robin but whatever, I am not going to let him stop me.

Okay, so I guess I'm just gonna handle this here and hope everyone sees this so I won't have to go over any of this again. Yes, I was at the AVNs, yes that was really me and my boyfriend in that interview, yes I know who my boyfriend is. Yeah, I've seen that article about the high school kid that was suspended for doing porn and then had his suspension lifted and all the support he generated, the boyfriend has seen it too. And I've decided to stop answering the 'what's it like with a porn star?' question mainly because I'm running out of insane things to say and it's starting to get really boring.

It's not been all terrible though, yesterday while I was working some guy who wasn't in my section yells to me 'Hey Yoko! You will never love Brandon the way Zevran does! Brevran forever!' Once I got over my shock I had to step into the back and laugh for a good solid five minutes before I got back to work.

Oh random porn lovers of the OC, please never change.

So, tomorrow I'm going to the AVN awards with Zevran. I still don't know exactly what to think about that, but he asked me and after blushing furiously and stuttering, which I'm sure made me look like an idiot I said yes. This is definitely something that my father would not approve of and I hope to god he doesn't find out, but I'm not going to say no just because he might.

So, I'm pretty sure that dream me. Is just actually me...me.

Sooooo that's a thing.

Dad signs me up for a Figure Drawing class and spend the whole time drawing this:
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It appears that anyone who is associated with Batman, whether it's my father or Dick, really doesn't have a life full of sunshine and puppies. Or maybe that's just me. So, when I found out that my father had named Tim is heir, I was not happy. To say the least. I went so far as to file an injunction against it. Now, remember, in my dreams, I'M TEN! I'm ten years old and I filed an injunction. What other ten year old would know to do that? I also became involved with Wayne Industries. Again, what ten year old does that?

After that, someone decided to steal my father's skull from his grave, so Dick and I decided to take the rest of his skeleton as well as my grandparents' to our base for safe keeping. It was kind of creepy and I was pretty shaken by seeing the bones of my family like that. So then, someone named Deadman possesses not only Dick, but me as well. When he left my body, he left me with knowledge of an attack caused by The Black Lanterns. Me, Dick and Tim go on and save Commissioner Gordon and Oracle and some other officers from some reanimated versions of some of my father's deceased villains. Do we get a break after that? Nope. The Black Lanterns then decide to reanimate not only Dick's parents, but Tim's as well. So we have to fight them then Dick tells me to send in Mr. Freeze's Freeze Ray and he winds up freezing himself and Tim so that the Black Lanterns can't get any life signs off of them. Deadman helped the revive them after that.

And if all of that wasn't enough, I went to see my mother sometime after that and found out that she had cloned me and was making a replacement, because I had completely sided with my father's side. I told her that becoming Robin had been the best thing that ever happened to me and that she didn't need to save me from something that I chose. She said I was no longer welcome and was now an enemy of the House of al Ghul. I told her that I hoped I'd be a worthy one.

[Filtered from Stephanie Brown]

Oh yeah and I started to take an interest in Stephanie. Well, I sort of had an interest in her before, even if it was mostly hatred with a little bit of respect. I was actually really mean to her a lot of the time. Once I had called her fatgirl, only to be reprimanded by Supergirl. So, I don't really know if it was so much as took an interest in her or went out of my way to make her life miserable whenever we happened to work a case together. That and it's so obvious that dream me has a crush on her.

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So, uh... Yeah, that happened.

So I had a dream that my dad, shithead asshole murdering bastard going under the name of 'Cluemaster' like he's some super villian, is back in town (which is Gotham City, wherever that is, looks like Jersey to me) to kill people and to pull off some heists. Apparently in Gotham the cops are shit (again, just like Jersey) even though they've got this guy called Batman basically running around and doing all their work for them, so I decide to give them a hand. I put on this costume and decide to start collecting info on what 'daddy dearest' is doing and send clues to the cops (I call myself Spoiler, it is actually a kind of awesome name, even Batman thought so). Speaking of Batman though, I run into him and his sidekick (I totally hit Robin in the face with a brick when he pulled my hood off, go Steph!) and after they figure out who I am we team up to stop dad.

So after a bunch of fighting and heroics from Batman, Robin and yours truly, dad grabs me and is about to give me a face full of acid and he only stops when Bats tells him I'm his daughter and he has to pull off my hood to see. I take advantage of this and am about to kill him when Bats stops me. Then the cops swarm in and take dad and his crew away.

Odd enough, sure, but when I got up I had my Spoiler costume and a bunch of gear sitting next to me. I'm really not sure what to think about this.

Maaaaaan

So like this dream shit, right? Everyone else seems to be getting like interesting shit. Traumatic shit, yeah, but interesting shit.

What do I get?

Fuckin' Winnipeg. That whole like, messed up new kid in school and suddenly...suddenly you've got a dad when you hadn't ever had a dad before and that's not messed up at all and...

And it's basically what's going on here. Except I'm like sixteen and still in Winnipeg (though, get this, totally from Brandon, which is kinda hilarious,) and it's the middle of the school year and everything is so damn just messed up but it's like normal messed up shit.

And Steph isn't there. I mean, I kinda knew when all those weird pictures started showing up that she wasn't gonna be there but it's still kinda depressing to wake up and find out that the girl of your dreams isn't y'know in your dreams.

Fuck Winnipeg.

Huh. Talk about a way to kick off the new year. I think I might have had those dreams everyone here has? I mean, I don't really know how else to explain it. It was just ... Weird. And usually I'm all right at realizing that I'm dreaming but this was different.

I hope it was just a fluke and not really those strange dreams, because I can't say I'm exactly excited to keep dreaming about a place where, apparently, they send kids into some sort of massive death match.

As a physicist, this is how I bid farewell to the old year.



I will see all of you in 2014. Happy New Year!

( Sometimes I really don't mind getting back to work! )

Wait what?

Who the hell are these people?

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And why are they showing up with me in a picture?

Did anyone else get mail from the future? What's going on? I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING

Is there some sort of like Liam Neeson threat going on here? Has someone stolen people who are my friends in the future? I have friends in the future??

What's-
How-
I'M SO CONFUSED

IS ANYONE ELSE GETTING MAIL FROM THE FUTURE?

There is snow.

And snow is fuckin' awesome.

Like the best. Ever. Well, at least in this land of one season.

Buuuuuuuuuuuut

This week got more awesome, and I am totally off the market you guys. Best. Ever.

I need to meet more people. That problem when something happens and you don't have anyone to talk to about it..

I am so upset that I'm back here and there's still snow on the ground. Bora Bora was so fantastic that I wish it hadn't only lasted a couple days especially since we spent a good amount of time in the bed. Sunshine, beautiful blue water, hot sand to dig my toes into, and a cute boy is all I need in my life to be happy. I may need to bother my agent to find me some sort of bikini shoot that's on an island - I bet I could get into Sports Illustrated if I wanted to. Anyone make bikinis and needs a photoshoot done?

Until then I guess I'll drown my sorrows at the local bar and work my way through this cocktail list to keep myself warm.

Somebody get me away from the oven! I just made Nutella covered candied bacon strips with crushed Red Hots and they are amazing. I love Christmas, it's the best excuse to cook or, you know, to do whatever you call what I do with food.

Anyone want some of this bacon or spicy cookies? I've got chocolate chip with either Tabasco, jalapenos and wasabi (running out of the wasabi but there are a few left).

Anyone made any cool snow sculptures yet? I've been thinking about it, except I realized in order to make one I had to go outside? Seems like a rough trade off.

So. You know. If you made one, pics or it didn't happen.

PS:
Still married, holy crappppp.

Wasn't there like some Canadian running around on here saying 'how can it be December without snow' 'how do you live' 'what is this one season all year round thing'?

Well, I'm gonna blame the snow on him because we Americans have a proud tradition of blaming Canada.

How the hell do you guys deal with not having snow? It’s December and I’m not falling on my ass every six feet. Hell, I’m still in a t-shirt and one pair of pants. I CAN FEEL MY NOSE. What is this? Where did winter go? Who’d you piss off to end up without a whole season? HOW DO YOU MANAGE CHRISTMAS WHEN THERE ISN’T ANY SNOW? Man, California. There’s something wrong with you.

This is witchcraft. Summer's gonna kill me, isn't it?

That's how that works, right?

You guys skip out on winter so summer's just gonna be a bajillion degrees in the shade and we're all gonna melt and it'll be awful.

Man.

I never thought I'd say this, but I think I might miss Winnipeg, and who misses Winnipeg? Nobody who's been there, that's for damn sure.