Network

After some interesting and unexpected reactions apparently brought about by my share of the Orange County Dream Phenomena, I have been attempting to construct footwear that actually works for my feet. It's more challenging than I expected, and I have gained an increased respect for makers of custom footwear and other do-it-yourself modifiers of footwear and clothing.

I'm in a particularly tricky position of wanting some form of formal employment to give myself both a steady income and a way to spend the long hours of the day while I'm not composing, and not wanting to give up all of my free time.

Being a musician, I could offer music lessons, should there be any takers. I'm also quite handy as a carpenter, among other various skills.

Is anyone in need of a handyman, of sorts?

Have those homicides been solved yet? I'm hoping they get around to that sooner, rather than later. Apparently being a creepy old man who lives in a creepy old house means that I'm a vampire. Or at least the sort who drains people of their blood.

Washing spray paint off my windows and untangling toilet paper from my trees is getting very old, very fast.

I know I've seen other people mention dreams before... but it's rather unnerving to not know what is real and what isn't because of them. What I mean to say, is there a way to make them stop?

I don't do pets. But I've acquired a pig and it has taken a fondness to me. It seems to enjoy my pool more than I do.



I'm unsure of what to do with it. I've never had a pet.

I just had a coworker as me to help them with getting their measurements. But with the measuring tape used for construction or measuring furniture, as opposed to the type used for sewing and taking body measurements....I tried to explain there's a difference but I guess she'll just have to make do with what we got?

Between the need to promote the tea shop and I guess interact with people more, I was pointed here. Hello, my name is Christine. I'm not really good at this, but I work at [tea shop/location] and we're having a Memorial Day sale for anyone who is interested. And if not, Happy Memorial Day to those who have or do continue to serve and thank you.

While I'm incredibly excited about the prospect of raising a family with the woman I love, there is that tiny needle of doubt that keeps pricking at the back of my mind.

What if they look like me.

It's safe to say that I have not had a very good day. It started this morning when I got hit in the face by a rubber glove that a little boy was playing with while the doctor examined his dog. It stung, but it wasn't that bad. What was worse was when I got bit by a hamster after lunch. They warn you that hamster bites hurt, but you don't think from looking at one that it would hurt that much. I will tell you that a hamster bite is bloody horrendous. Literally and figuratively. I'm very much looking forward to going home tonight.

I've noticed quite a few musical and theatre type people in the network, lately, and I had something of a thought. If enough people are interested, I thought it might be interesting to have a bit of a showcase of local talent. If you play an instrument or sing, you're welcome to do that. If you'd like to perform a monologue, or find a partner and do a scene, you are invited to do so.

There will likely be some sort of audition process, once I see how many people would be interested in such a thing. Please let me know here, so I can get a tally started.

Some kid tried to kick Samus, so I picked him up and made him promise not to ever hurt another animal or I'll tell my uncle that he's been bad.

I might have also convinced him that the monster under his bed is my uncle. I either turned that kid away from being a serial killer or pushed him toward it way faster.

Oh well.

Spring is here, which means it's time once again for late night gardening. I bet my neighbours thought they were done with me for good when I went off to France, but I'm back and yes, I still do enjoy singing opera while I tend to my roses.

Between that and my wife's questionable taste in music (she calls it 'metal', but I don't understand it), I'm shocked they haven't moved out yet.

Ah well, one can dream.

I don't know about being pregnant, but trying? That's fun. I highly recommend it.

Hello. I'm Terra. It's nice to meet everyone. I figured that joining this social network thing was probably a good idea. And a fun way to meet people. As long as you're careful about who you talk to, I suppose.

Someone tell me something interesting about themselves.

I'm just going to go out on a limb here and say that anyone who buys this product for themselves or their children is a fucking moron and I hope their heads cave in from all the empty space. I can help with that last part.

Now that I'm back in California and more or less settled in, I think it's time to set up shop again.

For those of you who are new, or have poor memories, my rates are as follows:

Sixty dollars an hour ($60/hr) for private lessons
Seventy five dollars an hour ($75/hr) for advanced techniques (ie: anything in the range of operatic)
Seventy five dollars an hour ($75/hr) for piano and/or organ lessons

Young master Frobisher, if you want your old job back, it's open to you.

I know you all have missed me terribly, but I've had a very good reason for being away.

For some reason only known to whatever deity may exist, my beloved Gazlene decided that I'd make an acceptable husband, and we've been in France in matrimonial bliss. I suspect she married me for my good looks.

Aisha has taken quite well to her, which is all I need really. If my cat approves of my new wife, I'm a happy man.

Introductions always seem false and awkward. We just rattle off some vague, sanitized information in the hopes we don't offend potential 'friends'. I'll try to avoid that if I can.

I'm Sandor Clegane, I'm from England, I was a soldier and now I'm not. My face got burned when I was a boy. I like to drink and fight and watch women's tennis. That's that.

Well, someone just surprised me with tickets to Paris, so who am I to turn down a week vacation? I haven't been since we moved when I was a child... It'll be nice to go back!

Oh, hey, I get to be a booth babe again this year. Saints Row IV should actually be good, so getting some swag won't be bad either. Holy shit, this is looking like it's going to be a good year.

My youngest sister is having a sleepover party this weekend and my mom is still away on location. My dad is taking my brothers out, so guess who gets to watch a half dozen ankle biters tomorrow night? If you said Max Ride, then you've won! Although, there's no prize. So, I need some help. What can I do with these girls to keep them entertained? I don't want to wind up with them hopped up on sugar and me tied to a chair with a jump rope.

So, ideas are very welcome.

I've read speculations and theories that the dreams we have are experiences from a past life. If that is true, I must have been some sort of monster in mine.

Everything is going along splendidly at the theatre. I couldn't ask for a better crew. So very good at following even my somewhat picky instructions.

I have to admit, it's very tempting to sneak into the basement and start building my own little space, like I saw in my dreams. But there's no lake under this theatre, unfortunately, which completely kills the ambiance.

Hypothetically speaking, how much is too much of an age difference, for a relationship? I've been having some pangs of morality lately, and I wanted the opinion of you fine folk to put my troubled mind at rest.

My show opens this weekend. At last! So, who can I count on seeing there for my big debut?

My piglet has been named. She's Samus. Because she's a tough little thing.

I'm usually not one for shameless promoting (all right, that's a lie), but seeing as this is for a good cause, I'm going to do it anyway.

This weekend I'm going to Los Angeles to do a bit in a magic show. All proceeds will be going to children in need, and, really, who doesn't love a good bit of magic? Most participants are members of the Magic Castle so it's bound to be fantastic.

I highly suggest you all come see it. You can find more information and tickets [here at web address].

Why yes, dear neighbours, I think this time of night is the perfect time to prune my roses.

The moon is bright, the air is lovely, and I'm hardly making any noise. Well perhaps a little light singing here and there, but not at full volume, anyway.

Diurnal people are strange.

Aside from a select few, I'm really rather frustrated with my students. Half of them can't read music, and those who can can only barely do so. And I'm so terribly picky that I want them to, oh I don't know, hit the right notes 100% of the time. I know, I know, this is asking a lot, but I'm really very particular about music.

And poor young Mister Frobisher, I do feel bad for him. Not only are the bright young things I teach assaulting his ears with bad music, but he's having to start the song over every thirty seconds.

At least I have my construction work and can take my frustration out with a good old fashioned hammer and nails.

It's not all bad these days, though. I've written a fantastic new song.

It seems that I, too, have fallen victim to this clothing craze. I'm not certain how long I've been wearing them, as I've been working on my music most of the day, but I seem to have acquired a black fedora and a floor length cape. The cape has the most exquisite black beading on the shoulders, and I'm really very fond of it.

If they disappear, as I see so much other clothing has, I may have to find a place to purchase them myself. They quite put me in the mood for things.

Why am I in a Jessica Rabbit style dress? Because I don't own one.

I forgot how much I like American hamburgers in the last year. Europe's lovely, but it's just not the same, though there's a distinct lack of chaos over there. My mother wouldn't shut up about all the insanity over in the States.

Anyway, now that I'm settled in after my trip, I'd like to start offering piano or voice lessons to anyone who's interested. College kid needing extra money and all that. Price would depend on level of skill.

I apologize for the unofficial delivery of this request, but before this singing thing wears off at least, I assume and hope it will, my theatre is still accepting auditions of the musical variety. Even if you're not serious about it, I'd like to see what the OC has to offer. Think of it as karaoke or a small-time American Idol. And on a proper stage! The lights are up and working now, thanks to my competent contractors.

♫All the world's indeed a stage
And we are merely players
Performers and portrayers♪

...I won't be performing myself, I can all but assure you.

I had the most wonderful dream, last night.

I dreamed that I built the Paris Opera House.

Well, not only me. Charles Garnier (no relation) helped, of course. He and I struck up a sort of odd friendship, in this dream world of mine. We worked together for fifteen years to build the opera house of our collective dreams.

And the best part -- oh, my friends, the best part was that I had my very own palace.

Deep underneath the Paris Opera House, I had a vast and complicated house, with its own lake. One had to get there by boat. By boat! How romantic.

And Aisha was there with me, as always. My little princess, of course she would wiggle her way into my dreams.

I'm not sure how I feel or what's happening right now, but I rather think that I like it.

(Yes, I'm going to be cryptic and let you all take guesses.)

ETA: It's not the music.

April 1st is coming and I am vastly unprepared. Maybe I'll have to sit it out this year. How disappointing.

If someone asks me if I'm Lindsay Lohan one more time, I'm going to light them on fire.

Yes, dear neighbour, I know precisely at what time I tend to work on my music.

I know because I'm usually there when I'm doing it.

I can't help it if inspiration strikes at odd hours of the night, nor do I really care, so long as it strikes and strikes hard.

Might I suggest you invest in earplugs?

Terribly exciting things about lately, aren't there?

Anyone planning to go wine tasting this weekend? Take this as a purely non-romantic invitation to help pour me back into the towncar. I'll spring for the bottle and everything.

HELP WANTED:
Persons with knowledge of construction, plumbing, electrical work, dry cleaning and other relevant skills. Call [xxx-xxx-xxxx] or leave a message here.

IN ADDITION:
Interviews will be conducted for those with theatre experience in any area: actors, singers, dancers, technicians, choreographers, script writers, and theatre staff. Please use the contact information above and have a résumé or audition prepared.

Starting immediately, renovations will begin on the historical theatre [address here]. I encourage any general inquiry or suggestions from the public. I've only just arrived in the state, and I am eager to make the theatre a living part of the community. Opening day (and a proper new name) will be settled once work is underway.

Rest assured, any rumours of ghost in the old theatre are merely that: rumours. I've seen reports of strange occurrences in other locations, but such a thing is not acceptable in my theatre. An old theatre has a spirit of its own, but I assure you this is figurative.


Please address all professional inquiry to La Corporation de Chagny.

It has come to my attention that in this economy, money is rather tight and that I remain, woefully, unemployed. And so I throw myself at you, Orange County network, to help me find gainful employment. My skills and work history are as follows:

1. Architecture and construction (in Italy, Iran, and France)
2. Composer and musician (specializing in operatic singing, piano, organ, and violin, but I'm able to pick up most instruments fairly quickly)
3. Ventriloquism
4. Part time inventor
5. Odd jobs starting in Belgium and moving across Europe, up to and including gardening, janitorial work and being a side show freak a performer in a circus
6. Illusionist (or magician if you prefer)
7. Assassin in Iran

I could swear to you up and down that I have, in fact, built palaces for the president of Iran, as well as provided musical entertainment, but I hear he's a hard man to get a hold of these days.

If  you have any need for any of these skills, please contact me here or through a private message.

Your most humble servant,
E.G.

Is it against the law to sing while I work on my rose garden?

More importantly, is it against the law to murder obnoxious, nosy neighbours who complain about my singing? Clearly these people have no taste or ear for music, or they'd be throwing money at my feet.

Though admittedly I wasn't trying very hard to sound good, it's better than any of them could do, I'm certain.

There's nothing wrong with being content in the ensemble, is there?

My professors are urging me to strive for lead roles, or at least supporting ones... But the background roles are equally important, I think.

Sorry, maybe it's because I'm nervous about this weekend's audition...

To the citizens of Orange County and the surrounding areas:

For those of you who are interested in music, really interested, I am offering voice lessons. My rates are as follows:

Sixty dollars an hour ($60/hr) for private lessons
Seventy five dollars an hour ($75/hr) for advanced techniques (ie: anything in the range of operatic)
Seventy five dollars an hour ($75/hr) for piano and/or organ lessons

And because I feel like amusing myself:
One hundred dollars an hour ($100/hr) for ventriloquism and voice throwing lessons.

Please contact me here or via private message.

Yours sincerely,
E.G.