Network

I set a memo out this morning, that from the 23rd to the 4th the law firm will be closed for the holidays, minus pending cases and such.

This is the first time since I've open the firm I've done this,


[Pod Squad]

Micheal you coming to Mom's this year?

Fascinating! It appears there's a message board strictly for Orange County. Well, It seems a bit arbitrary to be excluding ones sales from potential clientele further out, but...effective if you are looking to communicate directly to those closer to your vicinity, I suppose.

Alright. Since I am just settling in here I'll go ahead and give an introduction. Why not! Not that I've ever really gotten much into this..."social media" as the kids these days call it, but as they say, why not live and learn!

So! Greetings all, my name is Stanford Pines, a researcher and professor at UCI (that is to say University of California, Irvine). I suppose there isn't too much to say about me fully. My hours are 9am-5pm if you happen to be in my classes, and while I may be new to the area, but do hope I prove to be an effective and straight forward in my interactions!

Oh and Dipper, Mabel, if you're reading this...we should catch up some time soon! I appear to be having trouble with my cell phone at the moment, but when I get it working properly I'll be sure to message you both. It appears with this new job, I'll be allowed some more free time, and it feels as if it's been far too long since we last spoke.

If anyone has, or knows, children around the age of like, four to ten who would enjoy a totally not scary serial story or possibly comic strip based around a magical mystery shack in a town surrounded by gnomes and all manner of magical creatures who would wanna let me test to see if this stuff is any good, please speak now?

I don't know any kids.

...Maybe I should start with like teenagers. Check it's not scary. Is getting kidnapped by gnomes who want to make a twelve-year-old their queen scary? How about lake monsters that aren't really lake monsters but are, in fact, senile and lonely old men?

Valentine's day really does bring out the best and worst in people. Like crazy behaviour for sure.

I didn't do a whole lot save for eat waaaaaay too many of Mabel's specially made cookies to celebrate the day. I think I'm dying of red icing sugar overload.

Either that or I'm sick.

I'm going to crawl back into bed now.

So it finally happened, I got my podcast approved and it'll be airing on Spotify every Friday at 8pm and fingers crossed if I get enough listeners, reviews and well, subscriptions then maybe just maybe I can actually make money out of this.

Only time will tell, I guess.

Can't say I didn't try.

So normally baking is a total disaster with only half of what I end up making looking perfect so I'd not normally want to share anything I made on any kind of social media but I have to say that this year I TOTALLY NAILED IT.

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I'm gonna get my bake on, and I've still got to finish making these cards, so if anyone wants or needs some last-minute really cute Christmas cards, hit me up and I'll show you what I've got!

<3

Nothing quite like your mother informing you, in no uncertain terms, that she's going on what can only be called a cougar cruise with her toy boy to really kill the guilt of not going home for the holidays.

I could've really done without the visual it left me with, but still. I suppose waiting for a visit in January works best for everyone.

Okay so now the fishing hat with my name spelt like 'Dippy' totally makes more sense because apparently Grunkle Stan is capable of doing actual family bonding that doesn't involve making counterfeit money and spending time in county jail.

Fishing wasn't actually as bad as dream!me thought it was going to be but I don't think I'll be picking it up as a hobby anytime soon.

Definitely not a this reality me type of fun.

Despite only having had a total of 8 hours sleep over the last 2 days I am not as exhausted as I thought I would be. I suspect dreaming would be more exhausting given that the last time I did I dreamt of a war torn country under attack constantly with the sounds of bullets and missiles ringing in my ears.

I am still not sure what is real and what is not real.

My memory loss is frustrating.

So, for the record, cliff jumping without a parachute and using powers alone? Awesome.

Literally best thing ever.

Who would have thought gnomes would be so aggressive?

Also, I woke up this morning with a pain in my forehead, and when I peeled my hair back there was a birthmark. Not just any birthmark. Nooo. One in the shape of the... wait for it, the Big Dipper. Thank God I have enough hair to hide it or you know I could just wear the hat that also turned up.

Now Mabel calling me Dipper all makes sense.

So I thought Mason and I mighta been able to avoid this whackadoodle dream thing but apparently not.

Last night I dreamed that I was twelve - nearly thirteen, which is super important - again and summer vacation had started and my brother and I were being sent off to some tiny town in Oregon to visit a long lost, kind of stinky, definitely grumpy Great Uncle that we totally didn't know that we had.

I got a boyfriend in the dreams, too. Which, uh, okay. Was a bit weird because I don't remember being that boy mad at twelve but whatever. Except he was actually just eight gnomes who tried to propose to me and then they kidnapped me to make me their queen and we had to defeat them with a leaf blower.

Before anyone asks, no I didn't have cheese before bed and I definitely haven't been drinking and my candy consumption was worryingly low for yesterday...

With preHalloween almost done, we move into Halloween, and then post Halloween, which leads into Yuleoween, and then PreHalloween again.

I kinda wanna throw a party this year.

We wrapped up filming on Byron's Trinity days today, and my bear costar's handler came up to me at the end of the day and asked if I was still interested in taking her home with me, since we'd bonded so much during filming. She actually has reached the point where she'll eat right out of my hand, which is absolutely adorable to me and apparently terrifying to everyone who sees it. He didn't think she'd be as good on any future films because of it. We worked it out for me to have all the proper paperwork, and since my house is pretty far from any neighbors it worked out for me to bring her home today.

This is Winie.

So if I'm understanding the network correctly people with powers are now powerless and those without powers are powered?

Is this a normal run of the mill occasion in the OC?

It's fascinating and I'd really love to talk to some of the people affected for my blog and podcast.

You know that little voice in the back of your head that tells you not to do stupid things because you’ll pay for it later?

I need to give mine a megaphone.

Send help, I’m dying. I ate like 8lbs of peanut brittle. I think I might be dying. What’s the lethal dose of peanut brittle? How much can a human physically ingest before it’s too late and they’re on their way to becoming immortalised in brittle?

Maybe I should find out. If I can roll off the couch… Come to me, sweet, sweet death. (hehehe you get it? Because if I die, it’ll be because of something sweet. I’m hilarious)

So I finally got myself a part time job at a local haunted house here in Orange County as I mean I’m pretty good at the whole special effects makeup stuff and I do enjoy a good scare so it sorta made sense that I put those talents to good use.

Also, making money is an unfortunate side effect of the capitalist world we live in.

Boo hiss.

But yeah, Mason Pines, coming to a haunted house near you. Hopefully, maybe, I don’t know, I still haven’t worked out the exact geography.

I’ll have it down in a couple weeks.