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Tony Stark is a Piping Hot Mess ([info]avengingstuff) wrote in [info]valarnet,
@ 2019-04-08 17:55:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:anakin skywalker, carol danvers (captain marvel), haruhi fujioka, natasha romanoff (black widow), peter quill (star-lord), sam merlotte, thomas raith, thor odinson, tony stark (iron man), wanda maximoff (scarlet witch)

Hey, it's me again. Your guy, Tony Stark. I have to stick the name on there because everyone on here is always all 'who are you again?'. Seriously, youtube search me, you'll even get videos with my clothes off. If you're into that.

So I need a person. I had a person, but she did such a great job that she got a promotion. Now it's your turn! General you. The person has to be able to handle things like: Kicking one night stands out of my apartment if I end up too busy to see them out, remembering important details like my birth date and my social security number, buying stuff when I need it, procuring me rare art, and being available for random trips to places at that last minute. Plus, I'll probably text you at 3am at least a zillion times. Very importantly, I've been told it's like babysitting. So someone with enough of a spine to tell a guy like me "Tony, No, it's 4am, get pizza at a normal time of night" is uniquely qualified to professionally babysit one Tony Stark.

There's awesome benefits and compensation for being forced to work for such a gigantic asshole as me. Hit me up.

On another note? I'm totally Iron Man, apparently. Like, super hero gig stuff. And Pop Tarts? You're on my naughty list.


(Post a new comment)


[info]onlygoodvibes
2019-04-08 10:04 pm UTC (link)
Important question: Why are you picking on Pop Tarts though, what'd they do to you???

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]avengingstuff
2019-04-08 10:39 pm UTC (link)
Pop Tarts is a person, and he knows what he did. Or at least he'd better.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]onlygoodvibes
2019-04-08 10:41 pm UTC (link)
Oh, well I'm less offended by that. That's fine.


Iron Man though?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]avengingstuff, 2019-04-08 10:43 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]onlygoodvibes, 2019-04-08 10:44 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]avengingstuff, 2019-04-08 10:49 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]onlygoodvibes, 2019-04-08 10:53 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]avengingstuff, 2019-04-09 07:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]onlygoodvibes, 2019-04-09 03:23 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]avengingstuff, 2019-04-18 12:20 am UTC

[info]darkforcerising
2019-04-08 10:16 pm UTC (link)
What does the job pay?

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]avengingstuff
2019-04-08 10:40 pm UTC (link)
Uh... something something 'extremely competitive for personal assistants in this area'.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]darkforcerising
2019-04-08 11:10 pm UTC (link)
That’s very vague.

But I probably shouldn’t apply. I could do all that but the part about keeping you from doing irresponsible things. And I don’t know anything about art.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]ahsoka_tano, 2019-04-08 11:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]darkforcerising, 2019-04-08 11:23 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]ahsoka_tano, 2019-04-08 11:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]darkforcerising, 2019-04-09 04:17 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]avengingstuff, 2019-04-09 04:29 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]darkforcerising, 2019-04-09 04:37 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]ahsoka_tano, 2019-04-09 05:51 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]avengingstuff, 2019-04-09 07:52 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]avengingstuff, 2019-04-09 07:54 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]darkforcerising, 2019-04-09 04:12 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]avengingstuff, 2019-04-18 12:21 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]darkforcerising, 2019-04-18 12:27 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]avengingstuff, 2019-04-22 03:05 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]darkforcerising, 2019-04-22 03:12 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]avengingstuff, 2019-04-26 01:19 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]darkforcerising, 2019-04-26 01:26 am UTC

[info]the_mighty
2019-04-08 10:20 pm UTC (link)
I eat your pop tarts one time

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]avengingstuff
2019-04-08 10:40 pm UTC (link)
It's not even about the pop tarts this time, mr. 'greetings man of iron'.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]the_mighty
2019-04-08 11:13 pm UTC (link)
I cannot help it. I love that turn of phrase

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]avengingstuff, 2019-04-09 07:55 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]the_mighty, 2019-04-09 08:00 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]avengingstuff, 2019-04-09 08:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]the_mighty, 2019-04-09 08:25 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]avengingstuff, 2019-04-09 08:54 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]the_mighty, 2019-04-09 09:05 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]avengingstuff, 2019-04-18 12:23 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]the_black_widow, 2019-04-18 12:33 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]avengingstuff, 2019-04-26 01:18 am UTC

[info]captainmarvel
2019-04-08 10:21 pm UTC (link)
Please tell me you're not looking for a wife.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]avengingstuff
2019-04-08 10:41 pm UTC (link)
It's like you don't even know me, Top Gun.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]captainmarvel
2019-04-08 11:14 pm UTC (link)
Just wanted to see what you responded with.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]avengingstuff, 2019-04-09 07:58 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]captainmarvel, 2019-04-09 08:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]avengingstuff, 2019-04-09 08:15 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]captainmarvel, 2019-04-09 08:25 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]avengingstuff, 2019-04-09 08:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]captainmarvel, 2019-04-09 09:04 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]avengingstuff, 2019-04-18 12:23 am UTC

[info]fears
2019-04-08 10:28 pm UTC (link)
You advertise for jobs like my classmates sell their used books.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]avengingstuff
2019-04-08 10:42 pm UTC (link)
I feel like this isn't maybe the most glowing endorsement ever. But that's okay. I probably deserve that.

You've got finals coming up soon, don't you?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]fears
2019-04-08 10:46 pm UTC (link)
It's like you do not run a multi-billion dollar company and work out of a garage somewhere with sweatpants and cheeto fingers. I am told that is a thing that happened in the 90's.

I do. I have two projects due for evaluations, but I am confident that they will be well received. All my coursework wraps up in a few weeks too.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]avengingstuff, 2019-04-09 08:01 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]fears, 2019-04-09 10:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]avengingstuff, 2019-04-18 12:25 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]fears, 2019-04-20 11:51 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]avengingstuff, 2019-04-26 01:33 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]fears, 2019-04-26 04:37 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]avengingstuff, 2019-04-29 09:03 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]fears, 2019-04-29 09:37 pm UTC

[info]damnrichpeople
2019-04-08 11:39 pm UTC (link)
I have to say that this is the first time in history I've ever seen anyone advertise a babysitting job for themselves.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]avengingstuff
2019-04-09 08:01 am UTC (link)
Hey, I call it like I- well, Like I've been told it's like, anyway. But I have to say it's a pretty accurate description.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]betterthanhoff
2019-04-09 01:49 am UTC (link)
Why would anyone judge 4 am pizza time?! If pizza isn't supposed to happen then, why are there 24 hour pizza joints?!

That's just stupid. You have stupid people in your life.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]avengingstuff
2019-04-09 08:07 am UTC (link)
That's pretty much everyone in anyone's life though, isn't it? So many people that are like - 'No, don't get pizza, it's 4am' or 'You can't take the jet to Japan at 2am just because you want to tell tomorrow you something important.'

I know science doesn't work that way, Manakin, if you're lurking. It's a joke, relax about it.

See but this is why you can't be the person. You'd just be like 'buddy, I'm already AT the pizza place, get over here'.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]betterthanhoff
2019-04-12 08:44 pm UTC (link)
I'm cool with not being your no-person. No is a terrible word anyways. I like Yes. Yes is a good feeling. Even if it's got a 'no' aftertaste.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]avengingstuff, 2019-04-18 12:27 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]betterthanhoff, 2019-04-18 08:00 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]avengingstuff, 2019-04-26 01:22 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]betterthanhoff, 2019-04-26 03:42 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]avengingstuff, 2019-04-29 10:08 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]betterthanhoff, 2019-04-30 04:34 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]avengingstuff, 2019-04-30 11:27 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]betterthanhoff, 2019-05-01 07:26 pm UTC

[info]samshifts
2019-04-12 02:42 am UTC (link)
The fact that you know those videos exist makes me want to not go check it out.

How often do you really forget your own birthdate?

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]avengingstuff
2019-04-18 12:28 am UTC (link)
It's always helpful to be self aware when you're this well known, kid. I'm never the one that PUTS them on the internet but I do google search myself every so often. Because hey - why not? Also, sometimes? Helps me remember what went on that night.

Pretty much every year. Since I turned 20 or so. Why, do you remember yours?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]samshifts
2019-04-21 06:50 pm UTC (link)
I don't think I want to know what would come up if I googled myself. And sometimes? It might be better to forget those nights.

Pretty much every year actually.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]avengingstuff, 2019-04-26 01:25 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]samshifts, 2019-04-27 02:53 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]avengingstuff, 2019-04-29 10:10 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]samshifts, 2019-04-30 12:40 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]avengingstuff, 2019-04-30 02:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]samshifts, 2019-04-30 02:13 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]avengingstuff, 2019-04-30 11:16 pm UTC

[info]whtctbastard
2019-04-12 02:45 am UTC (link)
YouTube only has the boring ones of you with your clothes off Tony.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]avengingstuff
2019-04-18 12:28 am UTC (link)
Well, shit.

Do we want to fix this?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]whtctbastard, 2019-04-21 06:51 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]avengingstuff, 2019-04-26 01:26 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]whtctbastard, 2019-04-27 02:55 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]avengingstuff, 2019-04-29 10:11 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]whtctbastard, 2019-04-30 12:43 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]avengingstuff, 2019-04-30 02:11 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]whtctbastard, 2019-04-30 03:22 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]avengingstuff, 2019-05-01 05:16 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]whtctbastard, 2019-05-11 11:12 pm UTC

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