These dreams within the dreams are going to do me in, I swear. This time I was at a church, and the preacher was doing communion, but instead of wafers he was giving the people razor blades on their tongues and then they were bleeding from the mouth. It came my turn, I grabbed his arm and said 'no it ain't' and then we struggled like arm wrestling until I fell out the bed and woke myself up. And of course I was in Ruthie's trailer. I flipped out on her, said being with her is a sin, and stormed out. I know I hurt her feelings, but it's a lot for dream me to handle.
I went into town, to get a drink at the bar. It's El Dia De Los Muertes. A kid ran into me, he was running from a mob of adults. He wasn't wearing a shirt, and he had a tree pained on his torso, just like the cornfield guy in my previous dream within a dream. After a bunch of other kids tugged on my shirt and I told them I didn't have any money, an old woman told me they were expressing sorrow for my loss. She handed me a pastry from her basket and said 'even the dead have to eat'.
I went into the church. Half expected to see the preacher from my dream. I went into the confessional, and confessed my sins. He seemed to know who I was, said my momma chose to die. I demanded to know who he was, he looked at me and it was Scudder. I tried to confront him face to face, but there was no one in that side of the confessional.
Next morning, back at the carny camp, I talked to Samson. He told me he doesn't know why I see the things I see, why I see Scudder everywhere. He said Management expected me, and it wasn't no accident they picked me up in Milfay that day I was burying my momma.
Later when I was working, Lila tried to come on to me. She's always with Lodz, and I can't stand him. So I don't like her neither. She let it be known everyone knows about me and Ruthie, which upset me. Sometime after that, Gabe came to get me because Ruthie'd been bit by a snake. She wasn't breathing, so I took her in one of the trucks out away from camp to try and heal her.
Honestly I ain't sure in the dream what's real and what's not. For all I know the whole thing with Ruthie getting bit isn't real. I can't tell when it's a dream in the dream until I wake up in the dream.