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So dream me finally formulates a way to get out of prison. A lot of other shit happened before that like Pete making fun of me cause I'm a raccoon. Dude, why would you do that? I thought we were friends. And making fun of Groot because all he says is "I am Groot." Rude, I tell ya. I didn't like you much at that point.

But yeah, the best part was the escape plan. Told Pete I needed some guy's prosthetic leg, when I really didn't. But I don't think Pete knew that because he went to get it anyway.

https://www.facebook.com/uniladmag/videos/2690952524261123/

It's so accurate - I feel for this guy. Because he is not the only one who thought about dunking their kid in potpourri after a diaper nuke. What you see after the baby starts eating solid foods is downright terrifying.

They also outgrow clothes so quickly. We're thinking of donating his old clothes but if anyone here wants a range of baby clothes, it's all yours. They're a variety of sizes because he's always been able to fit into whatever the whatever month range up is. I still don't understand how the sizing works but he's also cutely chunky so there's that.

[Filtered to Friends]
(ooc: feel free to assume if you've at least talked to Rocket in the past)

I'm planning a trip to either NV or AZ.

I need a decent gun range and seeing how uptight Cali is about guns I'm heading out of state. Maybe for a couple of days. Maybe for a weekend. Just something to cure this trigger finger I got.

So who wants to come?

So this bunny cop (still hilarious) has decided I need to help her out with this missing otter. His name is Emmett Otterton. What a name for an otter. Basically I told her I had things to do and people to see, but somehow I doubt that's going to be enough for her. She's especially annoying. And by annoying, I mean persistent.

Subject 89P13.

Guess that's what I was called when they did experiments on me. Dream me. Not me me.

And apparently I got a reputation in the universe. Figures.

We got caught, processed, and sent to this place called the Kyln. And I'm pretty sure dream me was already confident that I'd escape out of there.

Still... subject 89P13. I can see why I chose Rocket.

I'm down to my last case of Thin Mints.

Is it just me, or does Girl Scout Cookie Season end too soon?

In the latest installment of "Rocket's weird dreams that might be another life", I find myself going after a bounty. That's right, I'm looking at you Pete. But it doesn't go as planned, Gamora is fighting him (was wondering when I'd see you in my dreams in a non-sexy sort of way) so I tackle her and we're scuffling. I gotta say I'm pretty scrappy fighter for a raccoon that's a third of her size. Told Groot to get Pete in the bag while I had her distracted, but the big idiot didn't know his genders and tried to put HER in the bag. Ruined everything. Anyway she throws me into a glass panel on a completely different level (did I mention that this place has got multiple levels of sidewalks?), and I survived. Apparently whatever experiments they did on me makes me extra durable or some shit.

So anyway Pete jumps down to the lower level to get this shitty orb from Gamora, they fight. He does something that sends her flying through the air, and in that moment Groot finally gets Quill in the bag! You'd think that was the end of it right? No - Gamora comes back and starts cutting at Groot with a sword, cutting pieces of him off until he loses an entire limb. She goes after Quill (again) in the bag, but he stuns her this time and takes off running.

Anyway, long story short in the end I shoot Quill right in the back. Don't worry, I don't kill him. I stun him, and he goes down like a log. I gotta say that part was satisfying after how much trouble he gave me and Groot.

I think that was the first time we all met. Wasn't as happy as I thought it would be considering the fact that we're all friends now. Honestly, I don't even know how we all became friends because right now I'm not sure I like any of them.

So addition to my weird dream habits. I saved all the popsicle sticks and sold them as lumber in Little Rodentia. I told them it was redwood. I mean, technically it was red wood, but...

So then Officer good feelings showed up and told me she'd caught me and that what I was doing was illegal, so I showed her all my permits to prove I was perfectly in the right to do what I was doing.

About a month ago I asked Lily what she would like to do with her week off from school in March. I thought she'd do the usual for a kid her age, ask to go to Disney or some other theme park or some really extravagant and far reaching place that we couldn't manage to get to, properly enjoy, and then get her back to school without extreme jetlag the following Monday.

But Lily is full of surprises. A couple of days after I asked her about it, she told me that she wanted to go back to New York. She wants to stay in our old apartment, eat in her favorite restaurant, go see the Atlantic Ocean and her swing in the park a few blocks from our place. At first, I thought of telling her no, not really wanting to stir up the memories of what we had in Manhattan and leaving her upset when the time came to come back here, but I changed my mind.

New York is home. It's where I was raised, where Lily spent the first six years of her life. She's only seven, but that city is in her blood just like it's in mine and trying to pretend it isn't is absurd. So we're going to drop Yoshi off with my parents tomorrow night and hop on a plane for NYC Friday morning.

A little nostalgia never hurt anyone.

Ugh. I'm ashamed of my restraint or lack thereof. Last night in my Dreams I threw myself at Eph. Yes, he's been good to me and things have been building, but I get the sense that this is a rebound and I just don't do rebounds. Not in this world, at least. The next morning I took the opportunity to scare him while he was taking a shower and we wound up taking a shower together. Things move fast, I guess.

Afterwards, who should show up at our door but Vasiliy? He pleaded with me to leave the city with him, said it was falling and that we were better off just leaving. I told him that I really believed I was close to developing a weapon that would stop the Strigoi. All he had to say was "At least I tried." He sounded heartbroken. I think he thinks I'm going to die. I wonder if I am.

So I'm just gonna put this here cuz I just can't keep it to myself anymore. I can't wait for some people to quit thinkin' it's just the water.

I know the right people are gonna know what this means, if they've dreamed that far.

All right, here goes:

I am Groot!

Oh boy, these dreams. Better than going to the movies, I tell ya. Shit, maybe I should write a script for what I'm seeing in this brain of mine and make millions off the movie.

Latest installment: I'm on a planet named Xandar. Lots of weird ass people on this place - I'm gonna call them aliens because they ain't all normal looking. Then again, I'm a furball with a big ass gun on my back so who am I to judge? Anyway the big tree? Groot? Yeah, he's drinking out of a water fountain like it ain't no thing. It's just something that people do, except it ain't because no one else is doing it.

Then I find a big bounty. Lots of credits (because that's what people use). And then it ends before it repeats from the beginning. So let me tell ya feeling the torture of being experimented on (again) ain't good. My back literally hurts from it.

[Private to Peter Quill]
Don't take this the wrong way, but you were in my dream. You were the bounty that me and Groot found. Hilarious.

Now we're talking with these dreams. I'm a raccoon, that much is a given, and you know what? I've come to accept that somehow my psyche thought a raccoon was the best way for me to work through this PTSD shit. But whatever. Last night was a doozy. Me and the talking tree, whose name is Groot, by the way, become bounty hunters.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Can you believe that shit? And guess what?? We're in fucking space! And there are jails in space, and we got a spaceship, and like the badass that I am in real life I break us out of jails whenever we get caught.

It's great. Keep this up, OC water. These dreams are almost as good as going to the movies.

So these Dreams you guys keep talking about, are they super realistic, but at the same time pretty goddamn ludicrous? Like shooting things and they explode into clouds of blood dust ludicrous?

What should a man do if he knows he doesn't deserve the life he's been given?

I keep seeing people mentioning dreams all up on this network. Like it's some trendy thing to do or whatever. Did anyone stop to think that maybe they're putting something in our water, huh, to make us have these fucked up dreams. Like, ain't it weird? I think it's weird. Please tell me I'm not the only one that thinks this shit is for the birds.

So last night, as long as we're all in a sharing mood, I had a dream that wasn't as fucked as my first one, but still... whatever. I don't even know where my brain is coming up with this stuff. I met a tree. A living tree. Now before you get all smart with me and say "all trees are alive", this tree could walk and it had arms. And it could talk. Well, it wasn't that good with talking because all it kept saying was "I am Groot." But like, I understood it? He said those three words over and over, but it translated as long ass sentences in my head.

I'm supposed to go to work in a few, but all I can think about is this damned talking tree. All I gotta say is there better not be any bomb threats today otherwise we're all up shit creek because my headspace ain't in it.

If you've ever considered working at Stark Industries, there's going to be a recruitment event on Monday, January 23rd. Different departments looking for new hires will be setting up booths in the lobby. HR is taking registrations ahead of time. Should be a fun event.

I had the weirdest fucking dream about a raccoon last night. I knew PTSD wouldn't be a walk in the park, but a raccoon being tortured? I've seen some shit in my life but nothing like that dream. I'm gonna need a drink.

The past week and a half have been the best days of my life: getting engaged to the most amazing woman in the world, my best friend moving back into town, and the business Rick and I set up is taking off.

[Filtered away from GOTG crew]
Plus my Dream crew are here!
[End filter]

Honestly not sure how life could get much better 😎

What's up OC?

Rocco's back in town. Trying to get caught up on shit that I missed. Introducing myself to folks that don't know me. Trying to find my best friend that doesn't answer his text messages anymore apparently, but it's cool. It's cool. We'll catch up eventually and then he'll get it.

Haha! Anyway, I'm sure I'll see some of you cretins around.

Going to stay up tonight, drink and see what else gets blown up.

Anyone want a join? This seems like more of a social gig, and would be less depressing than if I did it on my own.

Yeah, it's been a busy day for us down here at the squad. They called us in over at Stark Tower and then at the docks, and I ain't allowed to mention details.

But you guys weren't kiddin about crazy crap happening here in the OC were you? This here is a hell of a Friday. Keep it up, I was gettin really freaking bored.

HI! My name is Amelia and I just wanted to introduce myself to everyone on this network!

I just got accepted to Golden West College. GO RUSTLER SAM! I'm SUPER excited to be starting as a Criminal Justice major! It's been my passion ever since I was a little girl. There's just something about JUSTICE triumphing over evil that has always just put a fire in my heart!

Also, if there are any charity establishments that are in need of volunteers, I'd be happy to help! I was a soup kitchen volunteer at my home town for four years running and I absolutely LOVE animals so if there are any animal rescue groups out there, hit me up here!

I'm sure we will all get along just wonderfully and I can't wait to meet some of you, especially my fellow students at Golden West!

So Rocco said this is the place to be, and to be seen. I’m Gabe Torres, nice to meet you all.

I’m currently looking for any job that can utilize my degree in botany; in the meantime I’m workin' as a bouncer at a local nightclub. Because you know, those two things go together.

I'm from New York City so I don't know a damn thing about this place. Pointers?

What. Is. Up, Orange County? Frequent visitor, first time resident. The name's Peter (not Petey, not Pete, not P-dizzle, it's Peter), I'm from a little town down south y'all probably have never even heard of. So I'll spare you all the Googling.

PS. I own this place called Star-Lord Collectibles, a place where you can get all your hard-to-find collectible needs. Or where you can sell them. And if we don't have what you're looking for, chances are I know how to get it for you. Grand opening is this Saturday, so until then I'll be enjoying the beaches and the babes.

Peter, out.

You invite me on a night on the town for my birthday. You can't even keep up, and you ask me to slow down. It's my birthday. I don't slow down, so don't get pissy with me because you're puking your guts out on the pavement and I'm ready to move on to the next place. You started this. You finish this.

So who's gonna tell me where a man can get a drink around here? And I ain't talking about some fancy place with nice seats and top shelf liquor I can't even afford or pronounce. I'm talkin' about a place to drink that's crawling along the seedy underbelly of whatever bad side of town this City claims to have.

You know what I'm talking about? The kinda place where the ladies are just as likely to fuck you up as the guys are and if you spill your pisswater on someone's shoes you're gonna be in trouble. That's the kinda place I want to be in. I find that kind of environment relaxing, and after a long road trip I could use a little letting off of the steam.

Help a guy out?