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Are you kidding me? Are you actually kidding me right now?

That's how the story ends? That's what happened? I got married and everything was just great?!

You do not give a woman a broadsword and then tell her she's done fighting.

Kissing girls. Not so bad.

Honestly, Ms. Skeeter should have informed me earlier that I'd had a threesome. Then I could have managed to try to arrange and actually have one. Her report is like getting a hangover without getting to have all the drinks for it.

Okay. Got the cards ready for tomorrow's edition.

Rita Skeeter Bingo is a go.

You know. I'm not even sure I'm a 1 on the Kinsey Scale, but if this Skeeter person is going to keep implying that I'm a lesbian, I might have to give this a try at least once.

Mainly since I'd rather be accused of doing something that I've actually done.

And no, that wasn't me. It was me at the coffee shop, but that wasn't me at Wal-mart. Not that any of you specifically care or really know me that well - except for those of you that do. But yeah. Not me.

I bet she shops at Wal-mart for everything. Their everyday low prices are hard to escape. And it's not like this crap she writes actually pays that well.

'What were you doing in Wal-mart Miss Windrunner?'.

None of your goddamned business, Miss Skeeter. But since you brought it up, having passionate sex in their bathrooms was the furthest thing from it. Those bathrooms aren't even clean enough to consider such a thing.

And that woman wasn't even the same woman from the coffee shop.

I think the worst thing in the world is not being in control of yourself.

[locked to Alleria]
Going out. I'll be back late.

I swear the only reason Moira let me out of the hospital was that she couldn't find any more reasons to keep me in there.

So. Now that I'm back in the real world and have spent most of the day re-arranging the furniture, what have you been up to, Valarnet?

Is my Shadowy Friend still around? If so, I think I need to speak to him.

I'm not going to bother locking this.

Alleria, I ran into you-know-who today. She recognized me and tried to run, and I lost her when she ducked into a walmart.

Has anyone ever dreamt of a place so disgusting that they've been overcome with a need for an incredibly hot shower the moment they woke up?

Omega might just be the worst place I've dreamt of yet.

Most of us are familiar with unusual dreams. If you believe they are real, is there anything you would avoid now?

I know that if I become pregnant, I will die. and so will everyone else So the counter to that is obvious.

Well, that Gala went well, didn't it?

I myself was hungover most of yesterday.

You know. This past weekend? Excuse the language. But it can go fuck itself.

The dreams that I had last night to cap my already crappy week off? They can go fuck themselves, too.

Danika Thatcher, you, especially, can go fuck yourself. And this Skeeter woman. If I find you. FBI agents be damned, I will kill you myself. They can find me and bring me in if they want, I don't care.

It is too early in the morning to deal with this shit.

Lady from the coffee shop, I'm sorry.

My sister really did it, and now it's time to turn the tables. Alleria also needs to get laid. In her case, a woman. Her standards are pretty high.

As she mentioned in her own post we run around in skimpy costumes and shoot arrows at each other.

She also does her own stunts, and is quite flexible.

A gauntlet has been thrown down between the Windrunner sisters, so now I'm going to have to post this. It's probably going to offend a few people, who can simply scroll past this and go along their day.

My sister, Sylvanas, desperately needs to get laid. She likes men, as far as I'm aware.

You might have seen her on Arrow of Truth, that show where both her and I run around in ridiculous costumes, shooting arrows at eachother and generally being badassed.

She does her own stunts, so that should impress anyone who wants to give her a whirl.

It's become a recurring practical joke on the set to replace our chainmail and costumes with pleather and gimp masks. It's no longer amusing.

When I find out which member of the crew is doing this, I will show them exactly how accurate I am with an arrow.

I've been told I need to get onto this network and establish my 'brand' whatever that means.

My name is Sylvanas, I play an elf on the show Arrow of Truth. It's that show with the skimpy costumes and semi-passable special effects, but it's a lot of fun to shoot. We apparently just got a better budget. Somehow I doubt that will mean more fabric and metal for our armor. I don't really mind, I have a lot of freedom of movement.

I might stab the next slack jawed yokel that stares when I'm trying to eat a bagle on set, though.