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To those concerned, I am home safely. My friends came to rescue me... though it was very confusing at first, since most of them are usually female and seem to now be men.

I'm okay.

Has anyone seen Laura Kinney? I'm her roommate and she went out earlier and was supposed to be back by now to do more packing, but I haven't heard from her and she hasn't answered any of my texts and her phone is going to voice mail. I'm worried and it's making me antsy and when I get antsy, I want to go punch someone.

Anyone else dream of someone you so hope you get to stab?

I can appreciate my sister for trying to cook today. Since it's what our mother used to do. But she's not very good at it. Her heart is in the right place. I still had to save the kitchen from disaster.

There are things I can't always talk to her about (and things she can't always talk to me about) but most of the people I'd talk to have left. I need to get out more, I think.

Say you wanted to seduce your girlfriend.


How?

bwah u all missed me



~Lockheed



Edited in later

Someone who's getting grounded hijacked my computer. Sorry folks.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. Really it was just a play on words.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Don't worry, I got plenty more where that came from!

I'm not sure what to say on here anymore. I know there are other vampires on here, but most of you dream of being one. This was never a dream I had. I was already a killer who struggled with her humanity, and now all of that is only made worse.

It's ironic that I struggle with the same things in my dreams but for completely different reasons. At least she could go outside if she wanted to. She could make an effort at a normal life. I cannot, and I am still adjusting.

I lost the good job I had. I... guess I'm going to need to find something with a night shift.

Hell, what do people even write in these things when they don't have crazy dreams or strange crap happening to them. Everything I've tried to write so far has sounded lame or socially awkward.

So... I'm Eomer. Formerly of the US Army, now just a regular guy with private security credentials.

Considering there's a nine year old on my couch who, when he gets back to normal, is probably never gonna leave, I could sure use a job.

Anyone hiring? I've got credentials enough to lead a security operation for any of the local companies. I've also been a bodyguard and an honor guard.

I'm here a month, wasn't expecting to feel my first earthquake so soon.

( Because Eothain has no language (or anything) filter and obvious weed references are obvious. Steer clear if you get easily offended. )

Zev, sweetie, I had a such a fabulous time during our hot date and stuff. BUT? Hi. I think when we were in the restroom, I probably shoved my panties in your back pocket since I didn't want to fling them around in the coffeehouse potty room and I need them back now. They're not exactly cheap.

I wasn't sure how to get a hold of you since we didn't exactly exchange numbers as much as we exchanged kinky things. And then ran like hell in the opposite direction because REASONS. =D OK SO IF YOU WANT THEN YOU CAN MAIL THEM BACK TO ME ASAP THNX. ♥

Edit: OMG I GUESS WE'RE SUCH PERVS OK? Some people should avert their eyes before they burn if they're easily offended. SRS FACE YOU GUYS. I already had to block some principal person or something!

So, today Rox and I are working on our freestyle to music routine , and you wouldn't believe how fucking amazing it is. We're doing Cell Block Tango. Which apparently has everybody at work now making weird assumptions about my sexuality. Uh, A, it doesn't matter what that is. And GOD, no, the guy who brought me pants is NOT my boyfriend, B, My horse is fucking named Roxie, so I was obligated, C, Are you just jealous Rox and I can do it, and you and your ugly ass expensive out the door purebred can't? D, you keep distracting me, you'll be eating my crop.

Haters gonna hate, I fucking swear.

If somebody needs to get European Union citizenship, but has no relatives, no significant other there, or anything else that normally helps you get considered, how do they go about it?

Edit: Hey, who from the EU on this board wants to have a kid with me so I can get a residency and shorter path?

For the last time, the Bake Sale at Nevaeh Falls Elementary School is not selling baked goods made of children. I am not sure who the caller who keeps implying it is, but that sort of false information leads to uncomfortable situations.

It's just baked goods. Like cookies. As the name implies.

Guess who lost another job today? Oh. And my band broke up. Which also means I've been kicked out of my apartment.

Because the world can be a harsh mistress at times, everyone needs a good laugh now and again. That's why I bring you a sweeping mini-epic of triumph against nature and adversity! Valarnet, let this ongoing tale of a guy on a buffalo lift your spirits and inspire you onward to greatness!

Episode One: Bears, Indians & Such

Episode Two: Orphans, Cougars & What Not

Episode Three: Origins, Villains & The Like

Episode Four: Rehab, Vengeance & What Have You


I can't stop singing along with it: "Hey, you want this baby? It's cheaper than adoption!"

So. Scrappy Doo.

Hilarious or fucking irritating beyond belief? Does this impression change if you're stoned? How the hell did they not drown the little bastard in a sack?

DISCUSS!

(Yeah, yeah. This happens when I'm home "sick". Cope.)

There are many positive reasons to be in a small business for ones' self, but one of the negatives is a lack of affordable health insurance. My employees tried to get me to go to the hospital for stitches, but fortunately I'm a seamstress. Stitches are my specialty, and skin is sort of like leather, in a way.

Medical professionals - how many ibuprofen would you recommend for this? I only needed six stitches by my own count.

Guess who got asked to leave anger management group today?

It wasn't the first time people have given me dirty looks when I've been in there, but when I dared refer to my wheelchair using neighbor as "Crip", since I don't care enough to learn the names of the people shafted into this pathetic thing, I kind of made the anger management problem we're all here in the group for flare up again.

So I got punched and a broken nose and the therapist informed me I was disturbing her calm, or whatever it was, she said along those lines, I was tuning her out because the whole thing was bullshit seriously, and I got removed from the group and apparently it's recommended I do private sessions until I'm "ready" to deal with my problems.

It's almost like she read my mind and gave me what I wanted. I'm not actually GOING to work with her, since I said I'd try group therapy and lasted three weeks, which is a lot longer than I agreed to anyway, so really...

I can live with this option. My anger's plenty controled anyway. I just hide it when I'm somewhere that pisses me off, you know?

Wisdom,

Seems like we've got a damn sight LOT to talk about, regarding the secretive secret things we've talked about that sadly don't have anything to do with tea sandwiches this go round. Lunch date for tomorrow afternoon? I can find a decent curry in the OC if you're willing.

Does anybody want anything Mexican or Tequila or something Duty Free? Trip to Mexico tonight so I'll do pick up and pass out stuff later. If you want anything SPECIAL, PM me and we'll see what I can do. What ARE the transport laws again, anyway?

Also, my teacher is an asshole. Why am I paying people to boss me around again when I know more than he does about what my body's capable of? Annoying. Clearly I need to convince him. Somehow. Surviving Mexico in a wheelchair probably can show his overprotective ass a thing or two...

Good afternoon, Valarnet! It's a beautiful day to go to the park and have a picnic, I think. Of course, I just think it's beautiful outside, so that makes it a good day for anything! What are you guys up to on Sunday? Are you being lazy like me or are you doin' stuff?

Hey, uh, Valarnet? Could somebody here point me in the direction of a good AA group and also a decent trauma therapist? I've got a lot of issues that I need to start handling, but a good friend helped me realize that it's not wrong to get help if I need it and people here might actually get this kind of thing. So... Here's me admitting stuff.


I have a drinking problem. Because the dreams are giving me a lot of problems in daily life and affecting me really badly, to the point they've given me very real traumatic reactions even if I don't know for sure that they've even happened to me. And if I want to keep my job, and my life under control...I'm gonna need to control both.


I guess uh...here we go, right?

I swear I am never working anywhere ever again where people don't strip, it makes my job so much more enjoyable and the shifts simply fly by...

Band broke up again. Not my fault that teh drummer wanted 2 go 2 gyno-wutevar pootang Dr skool + bass guy kept forgeting 2 buy beer + singer couldn't sing even if I kicked him in teh nuts repeetedly. FFS u loozers. Wait 4 my solo albim.

They said I couldn't play gitar but I don't have thyme + teh effort 2 listen 2 that bunch of raging kock monsterz.

Its the backseet of teh car again or I need a nu cooch 2 crash on 4 a weak.

I thynk they phucked with my speel checker on my fone b4 they kiked me out.

Haha ( Nao check out my ringtone )