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Hello, Valarnet! It's been a while since I've done a proper, lengthy update--what with the whirlwind book tour and all--but now that I have completed the homestretch, I reckon I'm past due. For those of you who are new to my ramblings, I write under the name of H.B. Finn, and you may recognize my byline from one of the fine local newspapers. Or maybe you've seen my photograph on the back of a little novel called The Patchwork Monk, which was the first in my steampunk novel series.

Whatever the case, I am pleased to announce that Smoke & Miscellany (or as I have seen it abbreviated, S&M (nudge-nudge, wink-wink, say no more)) book two, The Cross-wired Machinist has been released, and you can get it just about anywhere books are sold! I hope you'll forgive the shameless self-promotion, but if you're interested in epic tales of struggle and self-discovery in a sort of Verne and Twain meet Jim Butcher style...

I'm your Huckleberry.

(And yes, I really do prefer that to my given name.)

Have I mentioned how beautiful the sky is today? Or, was? It was a beautiful sky today. Actually, the whole world was beautiful. Is beautiful.

It's entirely possible that I'm single .. again.

So who wants to go drink?

God I'm stressing out so much. The flowers I need for the flower bouquets are late for delivery. The cake is being scrapped because the company wont do the order because of oven breaking and they are behind as it is.


I can't find a priestess who will do a hand tying ceremony and combine it with Japanese traditions. The caterer canceled and I'm needing to find a new one. Excuse me whilst I go panic.

I have a job waiting tables. It's not exactly what I wanted, but apparently being in the army means you have no real world experience. I'm not really surprised that so many people go back voluntarily after they come home.

Trying to fit in is a nightmare.

[ooc: Pretend this was posted earlier. I've been distracted with Dragon Age all afternoon. >_<]

Thanks to Gavroche Thénardier's blue raspberry cupcakes, we won the cupcake baking contest we entered today! The judges said they'd never seen anything like it and were intrigued by the lime green frosting. Gav, you're seriously a freakin' genius!

So I totally had a Ben & Jerry threesome last night, and did not even regret it in the morning. I guess there is an upside after all.

This is seriously some kind of cosmic joke.

I just found the outfit I died in. In my closet. What gives?

Not gonna lie, I was very tempted to go on over to the Hollywood Walk of Fame today for The Backstreet Boys Star Ceremony thing. You don't see NSYNC with a star on the Walk of Fame, now do you? Nope. Just goes to show who had the staying power and which boy band was better. No girl here, over the age of twenty five can say that they didn't have BSB or NSYNC debates.

Girl you know it's true.

Ooh ooh ooh, I love you.

Other awful songs that you can't help but love? Go. Bonus if they're from the 80s and 90s.

Hello, everyone!

I'm certain that by now we're all aware of the tragedy that occurred in Boston this week. My friends and I would like to help with the relief efforts, as much as we can from where we are.

I myself will be holding a bakesale on behalf of Les Amis, so if you have any goods you'd like to donate, please let me know! I'll be set up on campus during lunch and dinner all this week, if you'd like to sign up to sit at the table and help out, come out and donate baked goods, or donate money to the cause.

For those who want to donate directly, the city of Boston has set up a list of ways to help out!

As you can see, the city is already starting to rally together and build themselves back up, which is a wonderful thing to see.

Please help all you can, or stop by and show support if you don't have the funds to donate anything right now!

Thank you kindly.

( Under the cut, potentially triggering references to death and injury. No filter other than the Gav-lock )

Why aren't my clothes falling off? :(

DOING THIS BEFORE I FORGET! ÉPONINE'S BIRTHDAY IS COMING UP AND I AM THROWING HER A DAMN PARTY!

Because she is awesome and stuff. So! Like! I need someone to volunteer to keep her away from me and where I stay. I need people who can decorate! Someone who can make a cake!

I NEED SOMEONE WHO KNOWS HOW TO THROW A DAMN PARTY THAT ISN'T WITH COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF ALCOHOL SO ANY PARTY PLANNERS IN THE HOUSE?

And! Like. Shit I don't know I just want to surprise her and have her have fun! But you gotta make sure to like tell me so I can meet you guys downstairs so when we shout surprise she doesn't panic because she can be a little sensitive. So yeah! COME ON GUYS AND HELP ME MAKE MY GIRLFRIENDS BIRTHDAY THE GREATEST EVER!

EDIT:SHIT WE HAVE FOUR DAYS AAAAH! I SHOULD HAVE DONE THIS SOONER~!

It's Thirsty Thursday and I just pulled a twelve hour shift at the diner and don't work tomorrow. Who's going to the bar with me tonight?

Oh, God, my head.

Remind me to never drink that much ever again.

I seriously have the best boyfriend ever.

Nothing quite like a man who can talk you down from a panic attack.

Okay, seriously? Last night someone asked me if I was a Kardashian. I still don't know if that was a compliment or a diss.

Touch-a touch-a touch-a touch me, I wanna be dirty,
Thrill me, chill me, fulfil me,
Creature of night!

ohgodmakeitstop

Okay, who is actually going drinking with me tomorrow night? I need to get my drink on! The one requirement is that you have to wear something green. And for those who come out with me, I may have cupcakes.

Glitter really is the herpes of the craft world. I think I have some in my hair, I'm not even sure how it got there. I'll be glad when Easter's over, it means we can get rid of all the stupid glittery eggs and baskets and bunnies.

...What a way to introduce myself. Anyway, hi. I'm Laurent. Or Feuilly, if you want. I work at Michael's. It sucks, but it's a job, I guess.

So, I decided to take a nap when I got home, so that I can stay up and make cupcakes later and I had the craziest dream. I was still a waitress, but I was back in New York and the diner was owned by this really small Asian man, who was really easy to make fun of and the cook was even more of a lech than the one at my real job is. So, Han hires this new waitress who turns out to be kind of like Paris Hilton, but smarter and not skanky and her father is in jail for some sort of fraud so she's poor now and she tries to convince me that I can sell my cupcakes for seven bucks at the diner. Then my boyfriend hits on her and I get mad at her, but then I catch my boyfriend in bed with some other girl. Why dream me is dating this loser, I have no idea. Then she totally steals my break up scene with him. Then I took her to Goodwill to teach her to shop on a budget.

I was also working for some really ditzy socialite as a babysitter for her twins. Oh and did I mention that Caroline, that's the smarter Paris, had a horse? Because she did. And he lived in my backyard.

Well now that I've gotten the crazy dream telling out of the way, it's time to make the cupcakes.

New item at the Bakery: Chai Scones. They're new, they have a cinnamon, cream cheese frosting (optional) and they're mighty delicious, if I do say so myself.

Come on by! Mention Valarnet and get 20% off your coffee and pastry purchase.

Remember when you were young and you thought you'd never have to work on your birthday? I'm still working and it's two in the morning on my birthday.

Time to take a nap in my office, I guess. No point in going home, I have a meeting at eight and I want to check on a patient at five when they take their next round of meds. Maybe I'll get a cupcake later.

So, St. Patrick's Day is coming up soon and I think I'm going to try making pistachio cupcakes. Faye, I hope you aren't allergic to nuts, because I expect you to taste test.

Also, whose going out bar hopping with me on St. Patrick's Day? I know it's a few weeks away, but I'm gonna need some green beer asap!

Ok, so I don't know if anyone spiked the punch at the party last night, but OH MY GOD! What is going on out there?! At first I thought it was the hangover but...wow...that was some good stuff!

I really should not have to fill out Workman's Compensation forms within my industry, but alas, that is how I spent my afternoon. It cut into my ability to plan Valentine's Surprises!

So, who's up for a social gathering of happy, single people tomorrow night at Always? :D

Getting glared at by the priest as you amble into get Ashed? Still a Massive Guilt Inducing Moment, even though I'm not the guy behind me who had to run out of line, hand clasped over his face. That one? Probably a WHOLE lot worse than just that Judgey Disapproving Glance when HE got back in line.

...Worth it.

Even if I am going back to the couch now and canceling my plans to go out spotting other members of the club, and most likely bailing on my Prior Obligations. Not exactly the Adult option but right now? I don't want to be an adult and wrestle with getting ready for class and having to shower and find my gear and get there and try to see through my shield when I'm in like, zero condition to be trusted with sharp objects in the first...

..Yup...

Talked myself out of THAT one.

Free cookies to anyone who brings beads into the shop today. Baxter Bakery is decked out for Mardi Gras! All are welcome!! Come by and bring your friends!!

I just heard that you can get drunker quicker when you mix alcohol with diet coke instead of regular, cause diet has no sugar and gets into the bloodstream quicker. Looks like my new drink of choice is rum and diet coke.

Since today is my day off, I think I'm gonna try a few of these new cupcake recipes I found last night.

I partied so much last night that I almost made a post asking if there was any hot super heroes that want to save me... with their penis.

Kind of glad I didn't know. Luckily, I had someone looking out for me. And yet? Still not hungover. Told you, that shit works. But I think I'm done drinking for like a month. This weekend was just one big blur. Yikes.

As much as it pains me to actually ask this, and as perilously close as this brings me to actually completing a collegiate assignemt why I've been signing myself up for studio art classes I'll never know,

Would anyone be willing to sit for me so I can attempt some portrait sketches? Location, pose, and state of dress or undress is up to the client. You can keep it if you like it.

I would simply ask my friends and not bother the rest of you, but it would be better to practice on faces I'm not quite so intimately familiar with.

Any takers? I'm free practically any time.

Do I lose my girlcred if I admit I like this sport?

I've got five dozen homemade cupcakes for whoever lets me come to their Superbowl party. Otherwise, I'm gonna have to eat them all myself and then I'm gonna get fat and then I'm gonna hate you all. So, who wants the pleasure of my company and some pretty kickass cupcakes?

So, someone stuck a post-it note to the bulletin at the diner and all it said was Valarnet. And being the curious person that I am, I decided to check this out. I don't know why, but I was expecting one of those lame, fantasy games or some bizarre porn site, so this is a surprise. Kind of a let down really. But whatever.

Anyway, I'm Max Black.