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I've found myself in the midst of a moral conundrum.

How can I simplify it: Is it wrong to bet on a horse you know is going to win? Or a against a fighter you know has been paid to throw a fight?

Whether I'm musing aloud or actually looking for answers, I'm not sure... No, wait. I'm actually looking for opinions on this one.

I got exactly two hours of sleep last night and I have a final exam in an hour. I blame you entirely, bad dreams.

Ladies and Gentlemen.

Elvis has left the building.

This is going to sound absolutely bonkers, but with all the dreams and everything...

Reply to this if you've dreamed about X-genes, mutations, or special powers.

I'm taking notes.

Gather round, Valarnet. I'm going to tell you a story about my buddy Bruce. (Not you, Wayne. Banner. To be clear, I am talking about Dr. Bruce Banner right now.)

See, we were at MIT together, Bruce and I. And one night there was this party, you know how college gets. We were trashed. I mean, I pride myself on holding my liquor along with enough for everyone else but we outdid ourselves. Meanwhile, Bruce sees this girl he's kind of had a thing for the whole quarter. She was in our Physics lab. So I push him over, like a good wingman should.

So Bruce walks over, and everything's going great. They flirt all night pretty much, and later that night I'm thinking 'sweet, buddy's gonna get lucky.'

Problem was the aforementioned trashed part. Bruce went in for a kiss, wound up barfing all over her.

What ever happened to her any way, Bruce? You guys kept touch, right?

MARY MOTHER OF GOD I FINALLY GOT TO TAKE A SHOWER TODAY AND IT WAS FUCKING GLORIOUS.

I don't care if you had sex while eating a cheeseburger on the back of a fucking unicorn, you could not possibly feel better than I do right fucking now.

I've been getting such good lessons from Ms. Hawke and making such unexpected progress that it pains me to admit that I don't think a motorcycle is the thing for me. Somehow, the idea of Frodo Baggins and Harley-Davidson don't quite seem to go together.

So, it's for sale again.

( Information Under Here )

I'll stick to cars. Well, learning to drive them, that is.

My son just told me that he got an internship from a man on valarnet. I don't usually make it a point to post on this thing, but I'm not sure how I feel about this. Who knows what kind of crazy person this is? What if my youngest son shows up to this "internship" and never comes back home?

Valarnet, I do not trust your shenanigans. Ronald Weasley is officially grounded, valarnet stalker person. I can do that because he still lives at home.

"Love isn't finding a perfect person. It's seeing an imperfect person perfectly." - Sam Keen

I know they're following me. I don't know where to go.. Police are no good, and home is worse. I think I saw.. Trust the bank, where the gold is. I have to find it.
Are they tracking these? Better throw it away, just in case

Fire.

The only way to do laundry.

Avocados = Disgusting

Why do you Californians put them in everything? I mean, I saw avocado gelato the other day.

Absolutely amazing, the first commercial spacecraft has been launched this morning. It's going to take three days to reach the ISS and deliver supplies for NASA. It's amazing to think how far we've come and how far we will go if my dreams are any indication.

So, I called the mole lady Nurse Hatchet, and she's surprisingly upset with me. Since my girlfriend's downstairs working (my girlfriend is awesome by the way, seriously, yours isn't as good, just accept it) I've got to come up with a way to pass the time, since now Hatchet is glaring at me and won't talk to me.

SO. Uncle Tony is going to help you fuckers out. Sounds great, right?

Treat this like an advice column. Ask me a question, and I'll try to help you through your life's problems and bullshit like that.

And I swear to God, if someone sends me strippers again I'm going to return the favor. With a male stripper.

A bear stripper. An old bear stripper. Unless you're into that kind of thing, which is okay, not judging, but then you get like, an old lady. I don't know, just don't send strippers seriously.