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I've been playing classical music to my pregnant belly for the last few weeks. Do you think it's true what they say and that it can potentially make babies smarter?

I woke up and there were a bunch of pill bottles by my bed. Unopened. Rx stuff.

[TW: Comments will no doubt deal with psychological issues and medication.]

I'm so blessed! I've already got an interview for a job, and I found a new church, and a few places where I can help out and volunteer. I hope my good luck continues.

Maybe I could run a sober driver service for people who've had a bit too much while they're out dancing.

( TW: Character Death, not cut for characters, and Thea being a brat about funerals cause it's easier )

On the bright side, I've finally got that pony that I wanted since I was like three.

They're gone? The creepy blue zombies are out of town and I'm...worried about Ollie and Tate and Roy.... going for a ride to celebrate the fact they're gone. This is one of those awesome days to be alive and once all the therapists and teachers had worked out that they were gone, we actually got to go outside for the first time since before I came back here for the seminar thing I was doing.

I'm pretty glad we're all okay here. I mean the last thing anybody wants to happen at the ranch is somebody getting hurt, and if the zombies didn't do it, I'm pretty sure Casey and TJ were gonna hurt each other pretty soon. There's only too many ways that a fight over crafting yarn cause you can't get outside can go.
( Trigger warning: drugs )

And then I taught a couple of the friends I made how to crochet, since we sort of used up all the embroidery floss a couple days ago and everything. It sounds like we're all sixty five but we're working on a blanket and it's gonna be awesome when we're done and everything. Sometimes it's actually kind of nice to get a chance to just hang out and not have to worry about...everything.

Something bad and something amazing happened to me not too long ago, and while I need somebody grown up to run the whole thing by, maybe I'm ready to start trying to let my life actually change. I'm sort of looking forward to that, anyway.

So, I might have gone out last night and fought a couple of those things. I know I probably shouldn't have, but oh my god, the adrenaline rush was like nothing I've ever felt before. It was just like in my dreams, nothing could touch me. I was one step ahead. It was pretty amazing. Of course now I'm even more achey than when I'd spend twelve hours in the gym.

Good day fellow teens.

I'm Wensleydale and I've recently and unexpectedly moved here from England. Seems to me that's the sort of decision a family would deliberate on a bit. However as I'm sure you, as fellow teens, already know, parents are quite useless.

I should note that I'm writing this message under duress. It's been suggested¹ that I, "Make some friends, get a job, do some activities, lose your virginity², something," and it's with this in mind that I introduce myself to you now. This is not, as you may have already supposed, a suggestion. They're withholding my car until I comply. Which I bought, mind, and had to sell before we moved, but there's no reason I shouldn't get a new one once I've passed the driving exam.

So I'm thinking that I'll play along for as long as necessary, and then after a year I'll have earned the ability to move back home or somewhere that is - on principle - not here.

If there's anyone reading this that's approximately aged 16-18 and would like to hang out³, or could tell me more about this place, or knows a business that is hiring, I would mildly appreciate your assistance.

---

①: by useless parents, mentioned above.
②: Don't concern yourselves with this bit.
③: or whatever.

When you accidentally learn weird shit about your siblings, life gets really bizarre. I will never regret that he showed up when he did, but damn, my brother's a whole LOT more out there than I thought. Time to readjust MY world view.

Tatelock:

Thank you. Seriously. Words can't START expressing how glad I am that you were there.

I didn't drink last night, so I don't think I'm going crazy? But my pet pig just said that she loves tummy rubs and nuzzled into me and said 'I love you, Mommy'.

That's ... really fuckin' cute.

I just dreamt of the most painfully cheerful girl. I don't know whether I should want to slap her or love her.

...Probably mostly the latter, if her friends have anything to do with it. She's like our princess, I guess

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
But I say neither of those people have watched
the video for ( Prancercise. )

Oh, yes. Prancercise will suffice.

( trigger warnings: suicidal thoughts )

He doesn't want me either. He said that I'm a junkie and a failure and it's no wonder my parents didn't want me...that my sister would be ashamed if she'd lived that I'm gonna end up being a junkie on the streets. I don't...

I need a pill. SO badly.

Dear Asshole at today's work party:

Yes, that is a one-year coin from AA. That does not mean it's fucking funny to swap your bloody Mary for my virgin Mary. I'd about finished the Goddamn thing before I realized there was vodka in it. It wasn't easy to put down the last of it, either. That doesn't count against my sober date, either, because I didn't drink it on purpose, so screw you.

Enjoy your trip to HR - Love, the old bitch in the corner office

Flemeth, Thea, any of you girls, you know anybody who could maybe make a necklace out of this thing? It might be nice to always have it nearby. Especially if the dreams keep getting worse.

So. My case-worker/therapist/whatever the fuck they call themselves said I should join this place for the transition or some shit like that. Apparently this is supposed to help? Hell if I know. Like you people are going to help me 'adjust to my new home'. You don't know me, I don't know you.

But hell, why not right? I'm Adam. Fuckin' sucks to be here.

OMFG does anyone know how to calm morning sickness or am I shit out of luck?

Is it even legal to ground an eighteen year old who isn't your kid in the first place? Sure, I did something kind of stupid, but it isn't THAT stupid or dangerous. I mean, nobody would have found out if I hadn't left my phone behind. And why was he on my phone anyway?

Either way, it's back to filing jail for me. -_-

It was so nice not having to worry about doing ANYTHING for Mother's Day. Well, I might've had a shot or two to celebrate the fact that the old bat is still dead and buried. But other than that, it was just another typical day here in the House of Black.

But anyways, here's a happy belated mother's day to all of the good moms out there.

I...haven't seen Ollie or Roy since Saturday morning. They WERE going to do a practice thing after we had breakfast, but somewhere between throwing bacon and blueberry chocolate chip pancakes at each other (boys. I don't even) and the part where they came back from shooting to hang around all day, they're just...gone.

I mean, is the OC having some weirdness that's keeping them away or should I be calling the cops right about now? I'm FINE, I mean I've been alone a lot longer than this but...I don't know. Worried, I guess.

I didn't even know I cared.

Anybody else have someone missing right now?

( HOW?? )

Oh. Goodness. Look at this place. Just look at it, seriously. It's LOVELY. You guys have TREES. That's cool. No, really I like them. Texas has trees, but they aren't hardly as nice.

Oh! What I mean to say is hello! I'm Miguel and I've just moved here! Well. Myself, Tulio and Altivo have anyway. He's the horse. Not Tulio. Altivo.

Looking forward to more trees. I mean, friends.

Those awkward family car trips when you just want to get out and bang your head against something before you shoot somebody in the head? Yeah, that happened today. My insane brother, seriously, Ollie is a sweetheart, but he's got more than a couple screws loose if you ask me, decided it was at last time to fulfill his lifelong dream of becoming a Llama Owner last week, and today we went to pick his baby llama out.

I wish that i was kidding. I really, really do. An interminably long time in a car with your giddy as hell brother, and nobody past the age of thirty should bounce up and down in their seat for an entire two hours, really, your pissy agitated nephew and the best friend of your brother who currently doesn't get why the nephew isn't speaking to him and keeps trying attempts at conversation, to pick up a hoofed animal that can make wool and spit in your eye is...well, so not my idea of actually being fun.

I get that I should like, treasure family time or something, but come on. Roy was bitching and moaning, Ollie was humming, Barton was trying to make conversation, Barton's dog, who was actually the least of the problems, but looked like she wanted to fix the bitching, was there too, and then Barton's hearing aids went off when we entered one of the barns all about to kill each other.

He finally let me pull out my ipod on the way home, not that it worked for long out in the back country but seriously. This was weird. I'm not that sure I want to go ahead and do that kind of family thing again, you know?

Do you guys ever think about your dreamworlds, and are sort of glad that you're not someone else in them? In hindsight, I complained a lot about what happened to me, but then I remembered hearing the story of the Ringbearer and then the Battles I wasn't a part of.

Maybe I'm just talking a big game here, because I don't know that I could honestly handle more than what I got.

Oh my god. Last night was kind of insane. I honestly have the craziest friends in the world. I mean, does anyone else know anyone who has tried to climb the Hollywood sign? And for any Law Enforcement Officials out there, by climb, I obviously mean, stood there and just looked at it.

I spent the morning developing all the pictures and I've got some fantastic ones of me, Minako and Zoeya goofing off on the Walk of Fame. And I have no idea what the name of that club was, but they had some really good drinks and the music wasn't bad.

Now, I need to go buy more developer.

I insist that there is a party or a event or something tomorrow night.

If not, I'm making one. I'm absolutely bored to tears.

Dream me is so fucking naive and kind of annoying. Honestly, I don't think I've ever met someone that naive. I wasn't even that naive when I was really seventeen. I can totally understand why that guy was trying to push me away. Either way, I apparently got his attention, so I guess it paid off.

I am both nervous and excited about cameras taping Roy and myself for the television. I truly do not think my home life will be so interesting; any reason that people may find me interesting is because of my work. And there is only so much of that they can video!

Personally, I think the person who will come away from this a superstar is Buddah, my dog. (I do not know why the people I adopted him from spelled his name in such a way.) But just wait until everyone sees him shake hands, roll over, and dive into the pool!

Hey good lookings, what's cookings? My name's Zoeya! Zoeya Proasheck!

I do a radio show every night on [station], sometimes with that LoveLove lady, sometimes with the awesome Carmen, and we're awesome and totally pro and stuff.

Anyone out there who listens to [insert radio station], you might recognize me. Or my voice at least. I'm Carmen de la Pica Morales. Found this forum through some friends and figured I'd give it a go.

So, this is me saying, Hello Valarnet!

...Tank and his ladyfriend made babies again. Look at this ridiculousness.

There's ten of them. Anyone want a teeny baby tortoise?

Is there perhaps something in the water here? Had very odd dreams the other night. I dreamt I was a prince in a noble family in some ancient world, and our kingdom was called Starkhaven, which is the name of my father's earldom. It wasn't horrible, but it was rather vivid. Had brothers, unlike real life, and I seemed to have been the wastrel in the family. Which is perhaps very like real life.

Normally I wouldn't do something like this, but my friend Steven said that I should come on here and mention some of the things that I like to do, because I deserve to have a lot of friends. I don't agree, because then that's more people who could get hurt because of me. So, to humor him that's what I'm doing.

Because of my heart condition, I don't really go out a lot, but I read a lot and ever since Steven bought me my laptop, I've started playing games on a couple of sites like pogo and Neopets. I don't really know what else to say.

...I always was the second best sister. Even in dreaming about being a princess who could raise the moon and fight a chaotic dictator. I'm still... In the shadows.

This is what my free thinking, potential Budhist leaning, if he didn't think labels were bullshit brother prepared for our special very secular Easter breakfast:

( Well, they're KIND of fried eggs )

I managed to eat half of mine. With espresso, it was actually kind of good. I'm not sure what that says about me, but... Those who are legit celebrating? Happy Easter.

Hey Thea. Guess what. So over you..

In other news, how are you guys? I feel great. Like a weight is off my shoulders.

Last night, I dreamt of my old foster sister. As in the kind of insane dream that everyone here seems to get.

...I'm really not sure what to make of that. At least she got out in that world too

((TW for references to abuse in the comments.))

So let's be honest, and we'll call that one a massive Thea fuck up. Not dismissing but just calling it like it is. I have hurt people and I'm sorry and I have no idea how you start apologizing for the fucked up shit like this. I knew what I was doing, and I did it anyway because...I don't even know why it happened.

I think it's really important that I figure out WHY it did so I don't wind up doing it again to somebody else, so that's what I'm mostly gonna be working on the next several weeks. I have no idea what you do to come back from this level of fuck up other than stay the hell away from the person you hurt, apologize, which sounds stupid and trite and nobody's gonna buy at this level, and...Yeah. The parts that follow are where I'm hitting walls.

So I'm that bitch who got caught mid pretty heavy makeout by her boyfriend, ex boyfriend, with another guy. I'd like to own it and repair it but some stuff you can't fix and I get that. Doesn't mean I don't want to TRY.

So... I just dreamt that this dude told me to live on the streets. I was just a little tike. How is living on the streets better.

Oh, and I woke up with a blood spotted medal on my chest. And the engraving is in French. What the hell?

The world is crazier. This birthday sucks more than all other birthdays combined.

My sister's house is so boring. She took my spray cans and gas mask away. The bitch. I love her though. Even if she's holding me back. Only a little.

I love you really, 'Ponine. But you can be a stick in the mud sometimes.

I'm hungry, hmm.

I know there are a lot of doctors on here, so I'm hoping someone will be able to help me out. I'm curious about DNA tests. Can they tell any relation or are there limits?

Best Mardi Gras party ever.

I may have had my watchdog big brother trailing me all through the complex party so I couldn't do the drinking, try to score anyone's pills or anything else. This sober shit is killing me, by the way, so it's when a drink would REALLY help but I guess people don't want me to end up hooked on booze or something on top of everything else, so I get it. Sucks, but I DO get it.

I did, however, end up with a shit ton of beads. Like seriously, 22 of them. Not a bad night, actually. His horrified faces as I made my way through the party, and possibly ended up screaming through his window to give me beads made the whole thing even better. I mean, not like he's gonna get a heart attack any time soon, so it was pretty much hilarious.

And I guess waking up sans hangover wasn't the worst deal ever. Probably.

Valuable Information for my favorite big brother, and everybody else entering the dating waters this valentines day!

To everyone who's seen ghosts:

If you see her again, the little girl, try being nice to her. She's scared and lost.

So the superbowl happened, and so did chili. I'd actually been warned by concerned parties who knew the truth that chili was going to occur, but I wound up ignoring it out of sheer disbelief that chili the way Oliver Queen prepares it is a thing. I mean, okay, I don't have any problems with it, and it means I don't have to do any cooking, and it's apparently some neurotic manifestation of how much he cares about people, but my big brother's little obsession is kinda weird.

We made six kinds of it yesterday. Regular, veggie, chicken, and variations on the first couple. At which point he informed me he's trying to come up with a dessert version of the stuff. I get me being around in the apartment's stressful but there's a point where things get weirdly emotionally unhealthy and I'm pretty sure Ollie crossed it with that statement. Like,I get that I can be a pain, but I don't think I'm that much of a pain I've made him totally crazy. And I really, really don't want to eat the dessert chili attempts that are going to come out of this. ( tldr )

I know a few people had posted looking for jobs, and I actually have a few openings around my shop. I need data entry people, three customer service agents, three shop people, and two floor managers. If you think you'd suit, please e-mail me your resume at lulu.webster@fayth.com. Please let me know your intention to do so here, simply so I know who to expect.

Opening a men's branch of my clothing line is much more effort than I'd thought, but I must admit, I'm enjoying myself. Even the flu wasn't too much of a setback - my co-designer Jefferson is a genius, and I had plenty of sketching time myself.

I think the stress of everything that's going on with my parents is catching up to me. I fell asleep on Jubilee's the couch and dreamt that my dad was training me, but it wasn't gymnastics. He was training me to fight; like karate and stuff. I was pretty young too. Younger than when I started gymnastics, but I'm pretty sure it lasted a few years, cause as the dream progressed I got older. I was really good too. He had me fight against full grown men and I took them down every time. How is that possible for a kid? At one point I seemed pretty upset about something and I ran away. I was still pretty young when I ran away, but I don't know why. The other weird thing is that I never said a word during the whole dream. It was like I was mute or something.

I'm gonna try to go back to sleep.

But before I forget, Violet, Thea, we should get together and talk about the club sometime.

Anyone in AA or trying to kick booze on your own, you ever have really vivid dreams? Last night I had a few that had me up in the middle of the night wondering whether or not to call the doctor.

...Why does my homelife seem to consist of the same shit with a different name every single time? I need a babysitter Friday night if anybody's interested in some cash. Must have the ability to keep your charge from breaking the locks on the booze closets and I'm not sure what time I'll be home, but I'm offering five hundred bucks starting from about six if you're interested.

Or it doesn't have to be at my place and I'll throw in extra if it's not.

Let me know?

This weekend? Best party ever.

Last night? One of the worst nights ever.

Whichever of you people felt the need to TELL Oliver about me trying to leave the ranch? Thanks for that. Thank you ever so fucking much for giving Mr. Do As I Say But Don't Do As I Do that level of ammo. He was already technically sort of pissed but not talking about it that we had to get a cab back from the party since I was supposed to be DD and nobody bothered to say that, and this just? Kinda pushed him over, I guess.

I got this awesome screamy lecture that was at least more entertaining than the kind I get from most people because of the looks on his face as he was shouting fuckword after fuckword at me. Seriously. It was sort of entertaining. I didn't know there were so many conjugations of it really.

I'm not totally sure why last night was all that bad. It's not the kind of thing I haven't heard a hundred times before or anything like that. It wasn't really anything new getting tossed out there about being ungratful, selfish, irresponsible, whatever, and how I really need to "get your fucking shit together, I fucking mean it or you're gonna end up seriously fucked when I'm arrested for your bullshit."

I told him that I'm eighteen and he's technically not supposed to BE the one responsible for any of it anymore and he was only legally responsible for about seven weeks, which I spent with total supervision making him a friendship noose at which point he stopped speaking to me for the night, and hasn't yet resumed that today.

It's weird that I'm regretting this. Two months ago he was a stranger, so I'm not sure why I happen to give a shit about anything he's said now, you know?

I'm confused.

Alright, in light of me managing to snag a wonderful girlfriend. (Go figure. Playboy me finds someone who will take me and stay stable for more than two dates). It's really amazing.

I need to get my friend, Taiki, laida date.

So. Here we go. She (Or he.) Needs to be of age. So older than 16. Needs to not be too short. He's freakishlytall. Looks need not apply. Best to like nerdy shitbooks, gaming things, learninglame things. Oh, and they need to deal with a sarcastic personality.

He can be sweet, honest. He just has snark to the extreme.

So yeah. Comment here and I'll weed through the masses.