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So.

Lets not bullshit around here. How many of you have developed magic powers?

Apparently my subconscious thinks I've been watching far too much Disney.

Other than that, I've been scrounging the internet and sorting through resumes in search for an assistant. Don't know why I've let a colleague convince me, but perhaps my workload's become too much, even for a workaholic. And with the amount of projects and deadlines I've gotten piling up on my desk, I can't afford to lose track of things over silly little errands and minor details. I've certainly got money budgeted for the extra help; it's simply a matter of finding someone qualified that I can trust with my own home.

Then there's also the fact that one of my recent clients is a walking nightmare, and if it weren't for the damn tabloids and over-emphasized scandals, I'd air his name out. Kanye, you are on my hit list if there ever was one.

In a nutshell, if there is anyone out there interested in the interior design industry, do let me know. Or if there's anyone with secretarial experience looking for a similar employment, I'd think about that as well.

Just hit a woman with my car.

But don't anyone worry-- she was just fine, didn't even get a dent.

And the woman was okay, too.

I bet this sort of thing happens all the time here. It sort of happens all the time in New Orleans, too. Crazy pedestrians everywhere.

On the upside, my new penthouse is sublime. Thank you, Newport Beach, for the beautiful water-front property.

I think I'm just going to start verbally hashtagging everything I say just because that seems to annoy people and that sounds like a spectacular idea.

#imagenius

Ok, seriously, how do I make these dumbs dreams stop?
I don't want to be in your fucking dream club anymore!

HOW
DO I MAKE
THEM STOP?

And if all this shit is supposed to come true, how do I keep that from happening?

Is there like a rule book or a sensei with training under waterfalls and fighting bears? I don't give a shit. Just teach me how to stop it.

You know, watching Sharknado might be the dumbest thing ever, but let's face it: out of any other location in the entire damn world, we'd be the ones getting hit with something ridiculous like that.

Then it gave me an urge to go to Home Depot and buy this baby:



I'm ready to dive into a shark and cut him open from the inside. Are you?

So. I finally met Captain America in my Dreams.

...awkward.

Okay, so.

Not gonna lie. I had pretty much written all of you off as being in some kind of new agey cult and/or having overactive imaginations.

But I woke up this morning feeling like I'd just lived through a horror movie. Which, if the things in the dreams are actually real, isn't too far from the truth for my Dream!Self. Usually when I dream about incredibly attractive half-naked men, they're not dying and asking me to cut off their arms.

I really, really don't want to go into work today. I kind of just want to curl up under the blankets until I fall asleep and have a normal dream. Or at least figure out why some people, the people I wouldn't have expected at all, people I barely know, and people I've never met, feature so prominently and others don't.

So I'm pretty sure I now know what it feels like to be killed? All things considered, it was pretty quick and painless. I think somehow the wound manifested overnight and eventually closed up due to this Resurrection spell I could almost kiss you, Sylphiel. Almost, because my sheets and mattress are ruined and I still look like a dead person.

So much for having nice things. Oh, well. The world's not ending in my dreams anymore, so that's a total bonus!

Also, if anyone wants to learn the most useless spell ever, let me know. I can summon a jellyfish that seems to be perfectly fine living out of water, and it tried to give me a hug with its tentacles. I may have also named him Gourry.

Moving into my new place took longer than I thought it would. Especially since I have a total of 3 pieces of furniture.

Good thing about having no friends, you don't need to impress anyone.

Hey look.



I found a coke with my name on it.

I ALMOST thought that I was going to have to find something else to do with my evening besides work, but then the backup generators kicked on. You never seen anyone cry as much as a building full of people who suddenly realise they ain't getting to go home early after all.

Of course, it's only powering the essentials, so I guess we're all gonna see what I look like without this coat on.

Someone from school told me about this thing, yet all I see are talks of dreams. Boring much? I mean come on.

The name's Dawn and I'm going to be a senior at Huntington Beach High. I like to dance, so that means I'm extremely fit. Pretty flexible too and I wouldn't mind showing if asked.

Christ

Had the weirdest fucking dream. You people better not be rubbing off on me with your weird past lives dream memories bullshit.

So I dreamed I met the Avatar, which is kind of like meeting a really famous person you've only ever heard about who controls all four elements and is responsible for keeping the world in balance. But she's this punky teenager a little younger than yourself and your boyfriend has the hots for her.

Anyone else in this place play Munchkin?

Any game where the point is to fuck over everyone else playing is my kind of game.

The Pie Hole has been doing so well and I have to credit some of that to Peeta, my new assistant baker. I always worry when I hire a new baker, but I think it's safe to say that Peeta has been one of the best bakers I've met. I definitely don't regret hiring him. It's left me with free time I wouldn't have had otherwise, which is great since I've been working non-stop since I moved out here.

I am experimenting with a few new flavors in my off time and doing a few other things. Haven't had any new dreams in awhile, but I expect that'll change when I least expect it.

I just thought of something.

I have a sister.

I have the same parents in my dream. But no sister.

...where the hell is my baby sister?!

So my ex is a crazy ass angry sorceress with a fairly deep and probably valid grudge.

Please advise.

New to the area. If anyone is looking for a roommate, knows of a room for rent, an apartment, house, whatever, in Orange County open I can pay up front.

Also, in case this is like Craigslist and the usual acceptable payment is a handjob and cheap ikea furniture (which I respect but I must decline), I just want to make it abundantly clear that I will be using actual paper money currency for the rent transactions.

Also I have a cat in case that is a deal breaker.