Network

Oh I’m so going to have to pay my brother back. And he knows it. He decided to send me a random gift which would generally be a nice thing. I thought so until I opened it. Do you want to know what I found in the box? A giant stuffed kangaroo. He knows how much I hate those damn things. They’re creepy as hell!

Anyone have suggestions of a gift I could send him in return? The more horrific and scarring the better.

Hey, it's me again. Your guy, Tony Stark. I have to stick the name on there because everyone on here is always all 'who are you again?'. Seriously, youtube search me, you'll even get videos with my clothes off. If you're into that.

So I need a person. I had a person, but she did such a great job that she got a promotion. Now it's your turn! General you. The person has to be able to handle things like: Kicking one night stands out of my apartment if I end up too busy to see them out, remembering important details like my birth date and my social security number, buying stuff when I need it, procuring me rare art, and being available for random trips to places at that last minute. Plus, I'll probably text you at 3am at least a zillion times. Very importantly, I've been told it's like babysitting. So someone with enough of a spine to tell a guy like me "Tony, No, it's 4am, get pizza at a normal time of night" is uniquely qualified to professionally babysit one Tony Stark.

There's awesome benefits and compensation for being forced to work for such a gigantic asshole as me. Hit me up.

On another note? I'm totally Iron Man, apparently. Like, super hero gig stuff. And Pop Tarts? You're on my naughty list.

I think I'm finally going to move. I'm looking at a studio and a few small apartments, since it's just me and R7 and there's too many memories in my current one.

Does anyone on this thing know how to get rid of bad reviews that were obviously left in bad faith? I swear, if this impacts my

A new month means I need a new list of books to read.

Looking for any and all recommendations, although I'll be honest: non-fiction is boring unless it's about cooking. If it's a good food memoir, then please, give me all the titles.

In the last few months, I've read The Passage trilogy, Howl's Moving Castle, Children of Men and You (which I really didn't like, and gave up on). I have a pretty random taste in books. As long as it's interesting, I'll happily add it to my goodreads.

It's so pretty. I want to see it.

I forgot how much fun it is to prank someone on April Fools.

Hope you enjoyed the new 'deodorant', kid.

Your move, Quill.

I got a few second interviews next week. It's always good to know my personality wins over some people. My current supervisors has to know what I'm about to do.

In less serious stuff: [Video of his pygmy Bantha, Majy, playing at the park with a giant yellow rubber ball.]

Pets are great.

What the fuck did I just watch? I was on twitter and someone retweeted a compilation video of kids throwing fucking pickles at each other. They were literally taking them out of burgers and tossing them at each other. We're fucking doomed if this is the next generation.

Who's got two thumbs and almost burned down her Dojo?

THIS girl, that's who.

I think I'm going to need a beer. Or fifty, you guys' idea of good beer alcohol volume is a joke.

So I have some interviews lined up next week.

Or I could go back and get a higher degree.

Decisions, decisions.

So... given the news today (not that I'm centering myself in the recent tragedies, but I gotta make rent money) but maybe I should start looking for a new job.

Credentials:
- BS in Aeronautics Engineering
- Former F-16 pilot
- Machine whisperer
- Aspiring cyborg
- "Top Gun" aficionado
- Space Jesus/Satan, depending on your point of view
- A fan of the place between the ground and outer space (I like outer space, too)
- Strong dislike of particulates (they ruin your engineering)

Sooo, if anyone has any leads, hit me up.

Daylight Saving Time can kiss my ass. I want my hour of sleep back. I need it.

Ah crap, there goes my New Year's Resolution. Who was betting on pet food?

I couldn't help myself. I just had to kill something.

I think this is the closest The Mysterious They who keep track of these things have come to suggesting Millennials are killing off babies.

I still can't believe how many Starbucks you have. I'm pretty sure I saw them building a Starbucks across the street from another Starbucks. I like coffee, but I mean why.

Welp, survey says: It's shrapnel. The kind that's so tiny it doesn't even show up on traditional scanning equipment. Fun times, fun times. My dream self is in the process of creating a battery alternative, because of course he's memorized old blueprints and is an engineering badass. We'll see how that goes. Maybe I'll get lucky and the dreams will send me a present.

Then I, too, can glow in the dark. Bonus: Easier for wireless charging!

Edit: I am not radioactive. The glow is part of the new battery thing. It isn't nuclear powered.

Meet Sonic. Curious little bugger has discovered all of the things to crawl in. Maybe I won't have to make him a extensive habitat at this point. Just put a bunch of mugs in his cage and he's a happy little dude.

( Not filtered, just cut to save space )

I am renting a damn storage unit for those books. I don't care how much it costs but I cannot have those two books fucking nonstop under my bed anymore. They're getting louder I swear which makes absolutely no sense since they haven't been separated at all since I woke up to them here. It's bad enough that they wake me up but now they're waking up Gerald and I think Felix at least once. I wouldn't be at all surprised if Margo didn't hear them in her room sometimes.

Second time this month I've had someone throw a brick through my window. I'm not sure why people think that'd scare me. It just pisses me off that I have to keep replacing my window.

Thank god that invisible bungee cord is gone. FREEDOM! I hope it never happens again.

[Cisco]
Are you free from your invisible chain? We have things to catch up on. :D

I've been forced to think about light versus dark as a metaphor for good versus evil for the last infinite number of weeks.

And you know what? That metaphor is bullshit.

You know what lasers are made of? Fucking light, that's what.

You know what would destroy everything on earth if it wasn't for the ozone layer? Fucking light from the sun, that's what!

Light is not inherently synonymous with happy good friend feelings. I hate this metaphor.

Another complaint for thought.

Thank the Gods that Valentine's day is over. The salon was so utterly jam packed with people they even had me washing hair. Spoiler alert: I'm terrible at it.

Instead of going out, I decided to spend the night with Henry Tilney in Northanger Abbey. Who doesn't love a man with a sharp wit and exceptional taste in muslins?

So who is your favorite Austen hero? Or couple, whatever, and why?

I think I almost miss the zombie apocalypse stuff compared to this nonsense. Can barely take a whizz without having to check how far away my new bff is. Seems if you stray too far some invisible force yanks you back 'til you're ass over teakettle.

Man, you haven't seen anything until you've seen the looks on everyone's faces when you come into work carrying a car battery that's attached to an electromagnet that's mysteriously strapped to your chest. "Mr. Stark, are you okay?" Yeah, sure, I'm fine. It's just a car battery and an electromagnet. Can we all just chillax already?

Also I look like I was just in a brawl with a broken glass window and someone's fists, which is interesting seeing as I actually did not do any partying last night.

I feel like I need to be on an episode of "When Dreams Attack". Also - dream me definitely had to be zapped back into existence, so do I get a jacket now?

Private to Pidge
So yeah, you were looking for proof, I woke up with your proof attached to my chest. Want to come in and see this sometime soon? I'll even let you touch it. Just not too much, because I've discovered that if I move it around too far it puts me into cardiac arrest.

Fucking Eve and her fucking friend Miranda in my Dreams. I told my roommates I didn’t want some damn seance going on in the house, but they went ahead with it and Miranda described in even more detail how I was killed. I guess I should count myself lucky that she didn’t come right out and tell everyone that it was me who’d died. Just that it was someone in the house who wasn’t at rest. No shit I’m not at rest. I got murdered by a vampire, my soul trapped in my house and having to relive my death every day.

I’m so tempted to just stop sleeping. I mean - I’m already a ghost, so what’s the worst thing that can happen?

I can’t believe she actually Why am I so surprised that Petunia - I guess congratulations are in order for my sister. She got married on the 30th of last month. Bit weird having a mid week wedding like that I know but she always did like making herself the center of attention.

[James]
I went a bit overboard cooking so if you want to come over and get some cookies or rolls or something you can. They’re fresh.

[Anakin]j
Is Majy allowed things like carrot nut loaf?

My brother attempted to call me. I don't know what he wanted. It's...going to remain that way. I didn't pick up and don't intend to call back. I've had enough. It ends now.

I was looking for something and I found some of Li's music. She had collectors vinyls of Lindsey Stirling. One of them I bought for her.

Our first 'official' date was a Lindsey Stirling concert.

It's been seven months but if I listen to these I'm going to end up emotionally compromised.

A Google search for cheap apartments or rooms for rent somehow lead me here. Not really sure how or why. Also, not really sure how or why I was compelled to make an account, but here we are.

So…yeah, does anyone know of a place where someone can get a cheap apartment or maybe rent a room for a few weeks?

What a magical day today has turned out to be! My broom just came in from the dreams. I can't wait to take this puppy for a spin.

Okay, I think I had one of those weird dreams all the kids keep bitching about. Though mine wasn't so horrible.

Out of all the things I expected to happen over the government being shut down last month, seals taking over a beach was not one of them. I mean, to be fair, it probably belonged to them long before humans came along. Keep squatting, guys, maybe you can keep it permanently.

Is anyone else as super excited to see Toy Story 4 as I am? I can't wait! I mean, the first three movies were so good. I'm not sure how they're going to continue! I'm just sure it has to be amazing.

Hi everyone. My name is Padmé and I've just been introduced to....all this.

Last week, I was a surfer and a wedding/events planner. I obviously didn't know what I didn't know, but now? I guess that band-aid has been ripped off. I mean, I'm still a surfer and a wedding/events planner (Storr Weddings -- we do more than just weddings!), so that's still the same.

I'll be blunt: is there anyone that can guide me to some self-defense classes? I don't ever want to feel that helpless again.

Jason Ross at the Exchange LA. This Friday. I need something to drain my brain.

Hit me up if you're going.

How delightful. These creatures are not immune to lightning.

I do not feel as powerful as I am in my dreams. The lightning is ... lacking ... compared to what I have demonstrated, as is my ability to throw things about.

But it is serviceable, and good practice.

For now.

There should be an on/off switch for dreams. I'm tired of the weird dreams of werewolves, things related to werewolves and high school.

Something bad is coming

something big.

I really, really need to stop reading Tinder profiles at 3am. They are funny, but I was damn close to clicking contact. That is just awkward, and probably something I don't really need anyway. What else is there to do when I can't sleep. I don't need cooking ware, or cheap ass jewelry.

I don't even know.

The plot thickens. I freed a Dashade, a powerful being immune to the force, and turned him to my side. This provided me some of the backing I needed to defeat the other acolytes.

Lord Zash took me on as her apprentice, gave me her old lightsaber, and tasked me with recovering ancient Sith artifacts of varying power and purposes.

My first mission took me to the capitol of the Empire, Dromund Kaas. I recovered the relic, freed some slaves, and discovered the most curious of cults. A group dedicated to studying a long dead person who was both Sith and Jedi. Light and Dark. A Jedi Master and Dark Lord who found some kind of balance between the two.

Revan is interesting, and in my dreams I claimed their mask for my own research.

These dreams are so intriguing. And alluring.

I found that lightsaber this morning, along with the slave collar I'd worn until I'd become an acolyte. I destroyed the latter.

So I was having to do some research on my home state of Washington for a class, and came across a little tidbit: the states lack of a bestiality law for about 30 years. Apparently they took it off the books in the 70s to update it and then nobody noticed it never got put back in. Fast forward to the 2000s and a dude is dropped off anonymously at a local Emergency Room with internal injuries - including a perforated colon - that nobody can figure out how he sustained them until they manage to review the footage and identify the car that dropped them off. Great. Mystery solved. Unfortunately.

Police found out that the injuries were a result of the guy having sexual intercourse with a horse - and I’m not going into details about that but think about the injuries and you can figure it out - while his friends video taped it. So the dude who got hurt died and the police are going to charge the friends with bestiality on top of the other shit with just abandoning them which is when it was discovered that due to the oversight in the 70s - they technically hadn’t broken any law while having sex with the horses.

My home state rivals Orange County for weirdness in some respects I think.

I generally don’t say anything about politics because for the most part it’s incredibly boring and why do I want to do anything that I know is just going to bore me? But this government shutdown is something that I just can’t keep quiet about. Because honestly - how do you not comment on an overgrown toddler who’s temper tantrum is affecting an entire country?

The Dreams just keep getting weirder and weirder..Now we have a metahuman called FireStorm who is this old professor who was caught up in the blast of the particle accelerator..again my bad, who needs to find a willing young person to "merge" with to survive and occasionally burst into flame due to his abilities. I'm pretty sure I live in a comic book. Only less fun. Basically we narrowed down participants and pitched becoming a super hero. One guy actually didn't want to. Who doesn't want to? I mean aside from me but

Anyway, I think this is the first time in an age I've been happy to see Monday. I'm ready to get back to work.

[Agency]
What'd I miss?

[Natasha]
Any chance I can increase hours I'm at the agency?

[Jemma]
Any projects you've got? I miss projects.

For my new year's resolution, I will try to stop killing things.

But can a Millenial change their ways?

Well, my brother called to wish me a Merry Christmas. Nice right? Then proceeded to ask me the day before the holidays for money for presents. Note, he's the older brother..

I can't even with him. Yet mom thinks he's so p


Why do familys have to be so complicated?

I will say one thing about this place: I have never had more fun throwing snowballs at strangers than when they have no idea where it's coming from. Oh magic, where have you been all my life?

I am so bored right now. I think I might actually die. I'm still wondering if anyone has ever actually died from being bored.

Full on anxiety attack at work really makes me hate coming home to an empty apartment.

Okay I'm just going to go ahead and say it now - Die Hard is not a Christmas movie. It is a movie that takes place at Christmas and that is a completely different thing.

Nothing says Christmas in Orange County like mistletoe floating around.