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So, let's say you like this girl a LOT and you want to get her an "I like you" present. But she's this super cool awesome crimefighter buttkicker who runs through walls. How do you get someone like that a present?

Any ideas?

My name is Oyama Yuriko. Some of you may know me from your dreams. In my dreams, and in some of yours, I may be known as Lady Deathstrike.

Deathstrike did terrible things. I can only imagine what I have not seen yet. But I am not Deathstrike, and I will not be Deathstrike.

I don't know if it matters to anyone, but according to a doctor I have seen, I may die soon from the metal that is now in my body. If I do, I wanted anyone who would care to know that Deathstrike will die with me. If I don't, I will work to keep her as nothing more than a nightmare.

I don't expect sympathy or forgiveness or anything, especially from those of you who already hate and fear her. But I have nothing to lose at this point by being honest. So, honest I have been.

My dream kind of mirrored reality, complete with reversion...

( triggers: depression, alcoholism )

I'm thinking I might use some of the vacation time I have coming to get out of the city for a change. I'm feeling the need to stretch my wings. And I do mean stretch my wings.

Preferably some place where it won't cause a sensation.

I've never seen a sunset like this in my real life. It was beautiful. The sky had gone a bright orange-yellow along the edge of the sea, and the clouds were this gorgeous pinkish-red, or purple... all right above the water, which reflected the sky and seemed like it might go on forever. I don't... really know where I was. But in the dream, it was the most beautiful and sad sight I'd ever seen.
( Cut for length, Yuna continues to describe her dream. )

I woke up and there were a bunch of pill bottles by my bed. Unopened. Rx stuff.

[TW: Comments will no doubt deal with psychological issues and medication.]

Sometimes the biggest steps seem smallest. Moving someone in for you seems on the surface to be a small one, but it's quite big. You're changing the way you live, and they're entering into a wholly new situation and place.

But I think it's worth it, to build upon that bond.

I just hope my constant singing doesn't drive her nuts.

There is part of me that feels like I've finally done something that really mattered, in the grand scheme of things. The rest of me is exhausted, sore, and I think I might have broken something. But at least it was for something serious.

Then there's the part of me that knows the impact my role has had on little girls. I don't think I've yet to fully resolve that conflict in my head. I'm hoping the project I'll be on after Black Widow wraps will continue to inspire people, and also make me feel that it really matters. I know it does, but there have been nights I've stood on the set and wondered what it all was for.

I never used to question my love of it before I dreamed.

Oftentimes, the dreams become nightmares. Terrible visions that plague us even into our waking hours and make us wonder what cruel gods haunt us. The thing about these nightmares is that they only end because we make it so. We wake up, we crawl and scratch and dig our way through the darkness until we find that light on the other side.

And when we find that light, we don't let go.

God knows it's a heavy weight. God knows the despair can be endless. Seeing that terror come to life, cutting down people like a slaughterhouse. You wonder how you can hold up. You fear another endless campaign of suffering, of choosing to sacrifice tens of thousands to save tens of millions. That's blood that doesn't just wash away.

Then it's over in an instant, and you feel this relief. But it's empty. It's hollow. Because tomorrow could bring another darkness. And the day after. And the day after that.

Without my crew, my family. Without their support... I'm nothing. Just a marine who stumbled into something big, something world shattering, and did the only thing she could do - try to stop it. And in this waking world, there are others. Many like me, thrust into their own respective situations that defined and altered them. Earth would be piled high with seven billion corpses without them.

A hero is someone who doesn't walk away, when everything is telling them to. There are more threats out there. I'm not going to walk away.

I don't

I can't

THERE ARE ONLY SO MANY WORDS FOR HOW NOT OKAY THIS WHOLE THING IS. Whatever, I always figured there were aliens, but I didn't think they were all 'oh, look, people, let's make a flesh beast' and I EXPECTED THIS TO HAPPEN WHEN I LIVED IN JAPAN because you know, Japan and fleshbeasts go like soba noodles and soy and now I'm rambling.

My BFF is fighting monsters and I kind of want to go hug my cousin but I'm stuck here again at Stark and I guess that's good. I'm going to build a robot that gives hugs now.

Yeah, I'm a sick fuck and I shouldn't be enjoying this. I'm a horrible, horrible person. None of that's really news to me.

But there's something about running around fighting horrific abominations. It's so. . . freeing.

I'm rather glad that school is out now. It's too dangerous out there.

I just don't want them out there right now.

Some of my co-workers were talking about this website, so I thought I might join up too. I've lived here for a year or so, but haven't made many friends yet. But I hear my cousin's on this thing too! YUNIE ARE YOU HERE? And Ben, my co-cousin? COMMENT IF YOU'RE HERE YOU GUYS

But yeah, yay for Stark Industries, woop woop!

How is everyone?

( ooc: language, racism )

I'm feeling a little better today, so I figured I'd, uh, elaborate a little on my last post. Since it wasn't really getting across everything.

The zombies in my dreams have a real community. We do ... Community-ish things. Really. We have a "church." And friends, and we get married then we get placed with zombie children and. Well. That's your zombie family. And we only hunt ... Maybe once or twice a month? Brains are coveted.

Brains are sort of like ... What happens here? You have this weird dreams and visions about that person. So I'm dreaming about me dreaming about this guy. Perry, I think his name is. It's bizarre, but zombie-me likes it, because zombie-me wants to be human. I think.

So. Yeah. There's that.

When I got home last night from my boyfriend's apartment, I said goodnight to my father. When I awoke this morning, he was gone.

He had been ill for some time, and I had been expecting it. I have completed the necessary rituals like 末期の水, matsugo-no-mizu (moistening his lips with water) and closing our 仏壇, our shrine, against evil spirits. However, I now must contend with the logistics for helping distant relatives fly here from Japan and making sure all goes well with the authorities.

Therefore, I ask. (1) Would anyone happen to work at a hotel or know a good one where I might get a group rate? (2) I have not been able to find an answer - is an autopsy required? I would not want it. (3) I had other business - namely a real estate closing - which was to happen this week, and now it must be pushed back. Do I simply contact my lawyer?

I am sorry to trouble the network with such broad questions. I have studied funeral customs and how to properly handle Father's resting place; I have not studied mundane details.

( Private to Turin and Logan )

My stethoscope just decided to tell me how graceful my neck was and how happy it was to get to be draped around it. It... then went into the merits of getting to rest against my breast and carried on a conversation with my clipboard.

I... think I may have had too much coffee.

Did anybody else see the awesome meteor shower last night? Alex and I stood in the garden to watch, it was pretty impressive. Like a beautiful light show. I got a few sketches done this morning and if I can make them work there might just be a little meteor inspired collection.

Well, I think I'm done turning my house upside down for today. You don't realize how much stuff you've acquired until you get ready to move house. Or to make room for someone else's stuff.

I never knew my father, not to the degree I would have liked. I have a few photos of him that my mother left me, so that I can remember what he looks like. My own earliest memories of him are dim, but I cling to them as best I can. A smell, I think it was his cologne. The warmth of his arms around me before he left for the last time. Sometimes, in a dream, I even remember his voice. Just softly, like a whisper.

He was a doctor, the kind that travels to other countries to provide aid. One day he went out there and never returned. But... I've never been angry at him for putting himself in danger like that. To me, he was a hero. All I've ever wanted was to be like him.

I feel like I'm closer to that now than I have ever been in my life. Since he is gone... this is the best father's day gift I can give him. I hope it is enough.

( Cut for triggers involving violence and torture, and death )

Oreo cookies are good for me because they make me drink milk.

I miss them already. Beth and Alma and Elise. I know they're safer where they are, and I can 'skype' them, whatever that is, but it's not the same. Almost wish I could go with them, but I got a lot of kids I got to take care of here, too. The Ranch is too important.

Maybe next time I'll adopt a kid a little younger so I can hold on longer.

More dreams. Zombies living at the airport. Lots of us. Have friends, got married. Zombie weddings are strange.

Guess zombies eat brains to see memories? Dreamt I had the memories of some guy. Weird.

Feeling really ... Thinking just fine. Hard to connect thoughts to words though. Easier to just sit here and do nothing.

Being back to my normal age is definitely a good thing. I guess being stuck otherwise wasn't so bad for short time, but not knowing I would change back? That sucked.

Thanks to those who talked to me and helped. I really couldn't have gotten through without you.

That's one thing I love about this place. People come together and help each other, a lot. It's enough to renew a man's hope in the world.

When I say you've had enough, you'd have enough an' I'm kickin' your arse out. Be grateful I felt like calling a cab.

How have I not found this network before?

Is anyone a psychiatrist?

Or is anyone really good at getting Xanax on short notice?

It seems so strange to me that I would live here for so long and all of these amazing things were happening right under my nose. People with superpowers that can make fireworks, people with magic... I suppose we only see what we want to see. I think I've been a little too caught up in my own life.

But... In any case... I am glad to hear that life is returning to some kind of normal for you all. And I hope that no one takes that away from you without your request again.

Oh, this is my first post here. I'm Yuna... or Nurse Lee, as I get called the most.

Someone once told me it's creepy to lurk here but never post, so in the interest of not being a "troll"...here goes.

Hi, I'm Ben. I'm a taxi driver. I spend my free time volunteering at the community center, and looking after my foster-family. I'm really very boring.

I'm feeling a bit better. Well enough where I can cast spells crave foods again.

When I get out of here, I'm eating cookie dough Blizzards every day for a week.

Living at a hospital isn't exactly fun. It means you are working even when you're not scheduled to work because you are always here. I have to say I'm glad most of my patients are doing well though.

On another note, I had some odd dreams last night. The first in a long long time. Recent events must have factored into it though because here was a lot of dead people in this sea side village. It was my job to "send" them which is really kind of like some kind of ceremony. Had the circumstances been different I would say it was even pretty.

This must be some bug that's going around. People are all over here saying they are ill and the emergency room has been packed all night. I have a feeling this isn't going to be the first forty-eight hour shift I work. Not to sound like a broken record but people should take extra care to not get sick; wash hands, avoid overpopulated areas if possible, eat a good diet. Those sick should make sure to see a doctor.

I can bring people something if they need it or help if anyone needs help looking after a loved one.

Some how I was able to pull the lucky straw and get Christmas off. That is the best present anyone can give me. You wouldn't believe how busy emergency rooms can be on the holidays... That being said, I hope everyone enjoys their families, friends, and holidays.

I feel odd saying this but this is the first time I've seen actual snow. We didn't get much of it growing up in Hawaii. I still had to find a way into work though.

I think I understand now what people mean when they talk about these dreams. They are so real. I dreamed I was on some tropical island, kind of like home, and I was studying magic of sorts. I became what they called a Summoner. A summoner because I could summon a type of magical creature.

I must have very overactive imagination.

What are we teaching our children? They see their Black Friday injuries as badges of honor. One kid had four teeth knocked out from an elbow to the face and the other a broken arm because he tripped and someone stepped on him. All over this WiiU thing. What is it? Outside of an overpriced video game thing.

Are there any good art stores around here? I find that I want to do some drawing or painting or something. I am not very good at it but it is a good stress reliever after a thirteen hour shift at the hospital. My walls in my apartment is kind of bare to.

I feel like now that I've had time to settle in I should start looking for a job. Is it really as easy to find a nursing job around here as pople say? I don't really mind the hours so much but it would be nice to work in a hospital with pediatrics. That could be a nice job. Though I think I will be looking for an ER position because that is what I am really used to.

Boy, I had the strangest dream last night. Now I know what you all mean when you talk about vivid dreams. I was shopping in a strange place, buying supplies from a list. Things like parchment, quills, potions supplies... a cauldron. I think being a witch over Halloween really got to me.

So...

Halloween was weird, and Sandy was a bitch, and it's SURREAL to look at all the photos people got of the damage, and think about the possibility of something like that even happening in Brooklyn. Okay, so everywhere, but Brooklyn, hell, my parents and my grandma are still there, you know? Plus, Coney Island is a mess. and, even though it's not as bad as Jersey or the other places? Seeing somewhere you've lived all your life like that...

I don't really like it. Makes me feel all kinds of powerless to do anything about it, but if there's one thing my dreams have been showing me, that STEVE in my dreams has been showing me, it's that I don't have to stay that way.

Long story short, that's why I'm in New York right now. My family are all fine, but that doesn't mean that other people don't need my help too. Took care of voting ages ago, since I expected I'd be on a shift that day, so I've just got the one thing I can help with. Not sure how much good I'm doing, but it's something, right?

Hate my city being Nature's action figure though.

I'm told writing can be therapeutic. Sounds like a load of bollocks to me, but doctor's orders so I'll buy into it for now.

Since my dominate arm will be out of commission for nearly a month following next week's surgery, I've decided to take up a blog. I can peck out the keys well enough with a finger but I can't write with my left hand to save my life. Actually, come to mention it, I can't do anything with my left except stop a football but there wont be any of that for a while yet. And apparently, my musings need to be legible so I can "reread and reflect". Mental and physical therapy together for the next six months. That's a long time to discover untapped left-armed potentials.

If all goes according to plan, I should be back on the pitch by the start of next season. Mid, if there are PT setbacks. I can't bring myself to think on any other scenario, but Dr. Snell says anything is possible.

Dr. Andrews, the madman with the scalpel, has explained as much to me about the surgery as I care to know. The shoulder isn't like a knee. There's 360 degrees of rotation in a shoulder, only 90 in a knee. And in my shoulder, there's no articular cartilage left. Biceps tendon's detached from the bone. Three separate pieces just ripped clean off. And that doesn't include the scar tissue from the bodged surgery in London, or the atrophied muscles. Dr. Andrews says he's going to try and repair my collar bone in the process, but it's secondary to the joint. Honestly, I'm surprised the club is willing to sponsor this sort of rehabilitation. The odds aren't in my favour.

But I'm determined to stay positive! Hope Solo could handle it, the minx. Why not me?

So on that note...

Hello blog. This is Oliver Wood, documenting the road to recovery. Doctor's orders.

For once I think it was actually smart to plan my layover through Toronto than New York. It meant no cancellations. I do feel terrible for those stuck in airports and I feel worse for the people being affected by this storm.

Plus side? I'm back in Orange county again. It's nice to be some where with indoor plumbing, a working shower, and fast food.