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Yuna is a summoner (to_zanarkand) wrote in valarnet, @ 2013-07-21 12:29:00

I've never seen a sunset like this in my real life. It was beautiful. The sky had gone a bright orange-yellow along the edge of the sea, and the clouds were this gorgeous pinkish-red, or purple... all right above the water, which reflected the sky and seemed like it might go on forever. I don't... really know where I was. But in the dream, it was the most beautiful and sad sight I'd ever seen.

My feet are bare, and walk out across the surface of the water, which holds me up... I'm not sinking through its surface. I take in the sight, clenching the staff in my hands more tightly than I had before. And then, I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding, and close my eyes.

The staff twirls in my hands, hands which seem much more experienced than I am at this, whatever it is that I'm doing. My arms extend, and then I begin to dance. My body knows the movements as if I'd spent my entire life practicing them. I spin, and twirl, and spin again, to the sound of crying and a haunting melody that - in the dreams, the dream me knows - is some kind of hymn. I open my eyes to see orbs of light flying up out of the water, bearing me up higher and higher... and then it is over. My staff spins to a stop, and the balls of light, like gigantic fireflies, fly away.

I realise I'm crying. But... these people, they are depending on me. I have to put my own feelings aside to perform this for them, this sending. I stand on the water for another few seconds before making my way back to shore. People are waiting there that I know... I need their approval. I need to know that I did it right.

And I blame myself. It's my fault, that this is happening. That I had to do this at all. My fault, and my duty. I wasn't... fast enough. I need to be faster.

I wish I understood why.