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Oyama Yuriko (小山 ゆり子) ([info]yuriko_o) wrote in [info]valarnet,
@ 2013-07-25 20:49:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:dani moonstar (mirage), jubilation lee (jubilee), kitty pryde (shadowcat), lo, magius, nathan summers (cable), neena thurman (domino), oyama yuriko (lady deathstrike), scott summers (cyclops), toshiro hitsugaya, yuna

Locked from Turin Turambar and Logan Howlett
My name is Oyama Yuriko. Some of you may know me from your dreams. In my dreams, and in some of yours, I may be known as Lady Deathstrike.

Deathstrike did terrible things. I can only imagine what I have not seen yet. But I am not Deathstrike, and I will not be Deathstrike.

I don't know if it matters to anyone, but according to a doctor I have seen, I may die soon from the metal that is now in my body. If I do, I wanted anyone who would care to know that Deathstrike will die with me. If I don't, I will work to keep her as nothing more than a nightmare.

I don't expect sympathy or forgiveness or anything, especially from those of you who already hate and fear her. But I have nothing to lose at this point by being honest. So, honest I have been.


(Post a new comment)


[info]taichohitsugaya
2013-07-26 02:10 am UTC (link)
You may die soon from what's inside of you? And I'm sorry, but what do you mean by, in your dreams you are someone else?

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[info]yuriko_o
2013-07-26 02:20 am UTC (link)
Feel blessed if you have no idea.

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[info]taichohitsugaya
2013-07-26 02:21 am UTC (link)
If I didn't want to know, I wouldn't have asked such a question in the first place. Consider me curious, but I've read others writing about similar concerns.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]yuriko_o
2013-07-26 02:22 am UTC (link)
People here dream. In vivid, living color. And sometimes things bleed over.

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[info]taichohitsugaya
2013-07-26 02:24 am UTC (link)
I see. Does it affect everyone involved in this message system?

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[info]yuriko_o
2013-07-26 02:28 am UTC (link)
Everyone I have met. There may be exceptions I am unaware of.

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[info]taichohitsugaya
2013-07-26 02:33 am UTC (link)
Oh, I see, then. It's reasonable to think that perhaps some time in the future, this may begin to happen to me. I thank you for the forewarning, as such dreams cannot delay my studies or my work.

As to your situation, I do commend you for being honest; however, you simply accept your fate without trying to fight or to find a way to resolve your problem? You may die soon does not mean, unless my understanding of English has lacked that much, that you will die soon. It's always a possibility that any of us will die soon.

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[info]yuriko_o
2013-07-26 02:50 am UTC (link)
There is apparently little I can do, but my spirit is unbowed.

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[info]taichohitsugaya
2013-08-01 08:12 pm UTC (link)
I suppose that is a good manner to have, to continue to be strong-willed no matter what situation that you face.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

Private to Ms. Oyama
[info]thedemonlo
2013-07-26 03:11 am UTC (link)
I'm a bit awful in my dreams too. But I think you've found your redemption in fighting against that.

(Reply to this)


[info]shadowcat
2013-07-26 03:16 am UTC (link)
It takes a lot of courage to admit that.

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[info]yuriko_o
2013-07-26 06:32 pm UTC (link)
Or a sense of nothing left to lose.

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[info]shadowcat
2013-07-26 06:56 pm UTC (link)
That, too.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]the_hotness
2013-07-26 03:17 am UTC (link)
Yo. That's cool. Just chill.

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[info]cyclopswasright
2013-07-26 03:17 am UTC (link)
Do you need to talk about it?

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[info]yuriko_o
2013-07-26 03:25 am UTC (link)
What more is there to say? Unless you wish to tell me something.

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[info]cyclopswasright
2013-07-26 03:32 am UTC (link)
No, but you wouldn't be the first person I've spoken to who wants nothing to do with who they dream of.

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[info]yuriko_o
2013-07-26 03:33 am UTC (link)
Logan is my friend. We knew each other in Tokyo. He told me of his dreams, and told me what I was in them. I said, I do not expect sympathy or pity, I just wanted to be honest. If you know Logan, you know what he has on his bones, and the doctor said I have the same thing. Either I have the healing factor or I do not.

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[info]cyclopswasright
2013-07-26 03:47 am UTC (link)
I understand. But if you need anything, or if you ever want to help, I know where you can start.

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[info]ms_moonstar
2013-07-26 03:25 am UTC (link)
If I didn't champion second chances, I wouldn't even be back here.

The best part about all of this, honestly, is the part where you can look at an entire other life you lived and decide which of those choices you want to make all over again, and which of them you don't.

I don't fear you, and I don't hate you. I barely know you. I've never met someone named Oyama Yuriko. So... you and I have no problems.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]yuriko_o
2013-07-26 03:35 am UTC (link)
I am glad for that, at least. The people in my dreams are good people, and because of my - or her - insanity, they are terrorized. That is not me. But I know some may think it is.

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[info]ms_moonstar
2013-07-26 03:39 am UTC (link)
Then that's not you.

There's a guy around here who made a lot of good points before about how we didn't have to embrace our dream selves at all, and I think that's true.

Hell, I think we don't even have to embrace our past selves in this life. I don't want to be the woman I was four months ago, even. I want to be stronger than that. I want to be better than that.

I admire your honesty, and I hope that you beat this. I'd rather have someone like you at my back kicking ass with me.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

Private
[info]to_zanarkand
2013-07-26 03:30 am UTC (link)
The most distressing part of those words to read is the part where you may be dying.

We didn't... get a lot of time to speak and the last time we did, it wasn't under good circumstances for you. But... I greatly respect you.

I researched a lot of the traditions... I wanted to know... Well, we are not family, so perhaps this is too big to ask, but I could perform any of the rituals you wanted, if it happens. I would be honored to do that.

Of course I would rather hope that you'll be fine and that this danger will pass. Something may develop that negates the metal or your body may change in some way to help you fight it, we've seen that in other patients over at the clinic before.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

Private
[info]yuriko_o
2013-07-26 03:41 am UTC (link)
Yuna-san, yes?

Your offer is honorable, and appreciated. I hope it will be unnecessary. The short version of my woes is that there is a substance inside my body - on my bones - that is toxic. Either my body can heal around it, or it cannot. I hope to find out soon. Waiting is the worst part.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Private
[info]to_zanarkand
2013-07-26 03:45 am UTC (link)
Yes, that's me.

I... think I understand, yes. The toxicity must be very high, especially if it's covering a great deal of them. There are other concerns with something like that, too... I am sure you're already aware. I don't need to go into detail.

I hope, too, that your body will heal around it. It's possible that it will, especially if your dream self has.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]alter_nate_ive
2013-07-26 08:03 am UTC (link)
I applaud your choice, and if I can help you at all, I will. I'm Nathan Summers, called Cable, back in the dream world.

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[info]yuriko_o
2013-07-26 06:09 pm UTC (link)
I have not dreamed of you, but thank you.

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[info]alter_nate_ive
2013-07-26 06:11 pm UTC (link)
The dream encounters sometimes miss things until they are done.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

Miss Oyama
[info]magius
2013-07-26 08:05 am UTC (link)
My name is Magius. I am a doctor and a healer. I may be able to do nothing at all for you, but if you would care for another opinion, and one from a Dreamer, then please let me know. You sound a brave and honorable woman, and we need such people in this world.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

Dr. Magius
[info]yuriko_o
2013-07-26 06:12 pm UTC (link)
I appreciate your kind words. I may be fine, I do not know, but I try to look at both the good and bad.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Miss Oyama
[info]magius
2013-07-26 06:15 pm UTC (link)
Of course. A wise decision. One should always be aware of the possibilities.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]fallsinplace
2013-07-26 08:36 am UTC (link)
It's not easy to ignore those dreams, to avoid being that other person. Nobody wants it at first.

You're not going to die.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

TW: suicide
[info]yuriko_o
2013-07-26 06:13 pm UTC (link)
I have friends who will not allow me to become Deathstrike. If I do, I will end it, or one of my friends will end it.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

TW: being a douchebag
[info]fallsinplace
2013-07-26 06:15 pm UTC (link)
Good.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]yuriko_o
2013-07-26 06:21 pm UTC (link)
You are the one who met Turin. The spot-eyed woman.

I do not care if you hate me, but I hope you do not hate Turin. He's done nothing to you.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]fallsinplace
2013-07-26 06:23 pm UTC (link)
He told you about that, huh?

I don't hate him, but I'm pretty sure future drinks with him are out of the question.

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[info]yuriko_o
2013-07-26 06:26 pm UTC (link)
I have no idea what Deathstrike did to you, but I do know it has nothing to do with him.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]fallsinplace
2013-07-26 06:29 pm UTC (link)
It's not that, if I didn't talk to guys because I didn't like their girlfriends I'd be pretty lonely. I'm not going to apologize for what I said, and he's probably not that interested in drinking to someone who talked about his girlfriend that way, so he's just going to have to find other people to talk to.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]yuriko_o
2013-07-26 06:31 pm UTC (link)
I understand.

I hope you can find a way past the hate in your heart, but I will not hold my breath.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

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