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OMG IT'S ALMOST EASTER AND THAT MEANS IT'S JUST ABOUT TIME FOR PEEP WARS

WHO'S WITH ME??

( [image under cut] )

In all the excitement of getting off my...house arrest I forgot to check in on here for the last few weeks. I've been out there actually getting to enjoy the beach right behind my house and going to the grocery store. Just all the little errands and things that I couldn't do for the past year. I still can't do much during the day but that's what all night markets are for. I never thought I'd actually be grateful to Amelie for something in the Dreams.

I used to think my favorite ice cream was bubble gum... but I'm thinking about changing it to mint chip.

So, I have to poll my Valarnet people on this. What do you guys think? Favorite ice cream flavor?

I've been forced to think about light versus dark as a metaphor for good versus evil for the last infinite number of weeks.

And you know what? That metaphor is bullshit.

You know what lasers are made of? Fucking light, that's what.

You know what would destroy everything on earth if it wasn't for the ozone layer? Fucking light from the sun, that's what!

Light is not inherently synonymous with happy good friend feelings. I hate this metaphor.

Another complaint for thought.

Oh no, this makes me sad. I mean, I know that its been eight months but there was still hope since the windy season of Mars is from November until January.

Goodbye, Opportunity :(

Sometimes you just gotta shame your friends.

video of Jaune being bowled over by a small black and white corgi while Weiss mocks him in the background

I'm sure saying as much is only bad luck, but I do love the moments when the Orange County is relatively peaceful.

It's taken me some time.

But I think I've finally accepted what happened to me in my dreams.

But I don't think I could have moved on without my friends.

Because obviously nearly being crushed to death by a pillar in the dreams wasn't enough... Word of advice, kids. Don't get caught under a stack of boxes full of donated books and reams of paper. It sucks.

I mean, do traditions even matter to Millennials anymore?

Are Millennials feckless? Did I use that word right? I’ve always wanted to use “feckless” in a sentence, but appropriately. If I get it wrong, some octogenarian will probably wave a cane at me.

OH man. I went to the store today and I am seriously starting to freak out. Like, who knew there were this many kinds of TURKEYS? Or stuffing? What's with all these nuts, and why are there so many cans of things out in the aisles?

I mean, I'm not even cooking it and the guy who is probably already knows what to put on the list, which like... I haven't actually asked for yet because I thought I'd do the shopping later in the month but now I am not sure at all.

Doing adult holiday stuff is like... really overwhelming, guys.

So today kinda seems even crazier than usual? I don't know, I thought the electronics going weird was bad enough, but... I mean, case in point, I was on my way out of work when this cute dragon dive bombed me.

Dragons aren't a thing, right? And this one has a name tag. Myst, with a pretty blue ribbon around her neck. Looks like she belongs to someone, well I know she does because there's a tag on her, but also she seems very friendly, won't fly home, and we discovered together that she likes cheeseburgers.

I can't really afford to keep feeding her cheeseburgers, but I'm not really feeling like I have much of a choice here. Also it's a dragon made of bones and I'm kind of freaked out by the fact that it's eating anything at all. Where do the cheeseburgers keep going?

[Private to Nico Di Angelo]
So I know that there's a number on here but it seemed kinda rude to just text it or whatever but if this name tag is right then this dragon is yours?

I want to go see Goosebumps 2. Really bad. I loved the first movie--oh!! Is there anywhere that's doing a double feature?? Anyone else interested??

I know it’s been a while since I was a kid, but I… really don’t understand the toys that Madison and Laurel are asking for. Today they both said they wanted a poopsie doll for Christmas. Which is some weird mutant unicorn/human hybrid baby doll. That you feed. And it poops slime. I understand the unicorn part. Every girls go through that stage, I think? I understand the slime part. We’ve made slime together and I buy them slime from the dollar bins at Target all the time. It’s how you get from point A to point B that I really really don’t get?

I can confirm if you fucking die in your dreams you don't die in real life.

The final task was to kill three people in cold blood. If I did that, the Fae would be free.

And I did it. But I never specified when they'd be free. Never make a deal with the Fae.

But I won, and that pissed her off. So she tried to kill me. I'm really lucky I didn't wake up with every bone in my body broken.

But I get the last laugh. Before all this started, she told me if I could solve a riddle, I'd win instantly.

I gave her the right answer with my dying breath.

It was stupid easy, but when you're illiterate it takes more time I guess.

I want to go on an adventure! I want to go treasure hunting! I want to go do something! Eren! Let's go do something! I'm BOREDDD!

So completely hypothetically speaking.... why would my sister someone yell CANNIBALISM at me someone else who is just sitting there eating a cinnamon roll?

I hit my follower count goal, so it's time to celebrate!

[Private to JNPR]
You guys wanna do a pancake thing? I promise I won't cook, but I'll do all the prep and cleaning!

Pleeeeeeeeease? :)

Finally had a long overdue meeting with the head of the history department yesterday morning. My “extended vacation” has come to an end and I’ll be back teaching at UC:Irvine this September.

Defending the county and waiting for the next shoe to drop has been fun and all, but I'm really looking forward to getting back in a classroom.

The best thing that will happen in 2019 is starting right now.

The legacy of Goose will live on!

Anyone have a truck and is willing to help me go to a lumber yard to buy particle boards so I can board up the consequences of my actions?

Please, I don't want to freeze.

Right. Because a female, bunny cop couldn't possibly be able to handle major cases like the rest of these big dumb brutes.

They put me on meter maid duty. Awesome. At least dream me was able to try and do the best she could. Even I'm in awe of her tenacity.

I didn't think becoming an EMT was gonna be the easy way out of making something of myself, I mean... I know I crashed out of college really hard, but there was a lot going on. That's not ALL on me, right?

Still, the online preparation courses start tomorrow and wow, this is gonna be really intensive. I'm kinda looking forward to it but also pretty terrified right now. Just gotta keep reminding myself that I don't have to be the idiot hanging from a tree while everyone else does something useful.

[Ren and Nora]
Hey guys, uh... do you by any chance have any spare room? Or maybe we could look into getting something bigger if we all pool together, I have like zero places to live right now but I did get a job? Would you like a roomie or are you two happy by yourselves?

At first I was just bored, but now I'm confused, bored, and dinosaurless. That's a thing I haven't thought since I was five. WTF.

I JUST SAW A MOUSE IN MY APARTMENT

I guess... I missed all the fun.

While recovering from a recent trip to Nevada I came across this article about crows riding the backs of eagles.

When I'm able to fly again, I think I might try this.

( OH MY GOD IT'S A THING AND I NEED ONE )

So to top everything off, I have a bully.

And guess what kind of animal he is? (For the record, I'm an adorable fluffy bunny in my dreams)

It's bad enough when your parents don't want you to do something new and different, but to have a bully literally push you to the ground and tell you it'd never happen?

Can't dream me catch a break? Won't someone believe in me??

Okay so guys? I kind of woke up at 4am glowing. No I mean, I was *glowing in the dark* levels of glowing. Bright bright glowy Jaune. Was that my aura? Am I all Aura-y now?

Ruby
I think your dad said today was your birthday? Do I have that right?

Who has the most amazing daughters in the history of ever? That's right, it's me. I mean, just look at them! Aren't they the most adorable things you've ever seen?

( [Cut for image heavy content] )

And that's just from today! I just can't get enough of them! ZWEI! TO THE DAD CAVE! I MUST MAKE MORE HOME VIDEOS!

I've heard of the Dream gifts, but this is the first time I've woken up to one. I've been given a jar of tree sap from the trees of Remnant. It's supposed to make quite a delicious syrup.

[JNPR Filter]

I was hoping that you would be available to come for a pancake breakfast tomorrow.

Saw this in the store the other day.

( Nothing says Happy Valentine's Day like a First Order Executioner... )

Okay so say someone ends up getting cut by a scorpion faunus and poisoned and it makes them really sick and then you get the scorpion stinger. Is it possible to make an antidote with the poison from the stinger? And if so, how do I do it? I have to make this right, I have to save him

While I've been on this Network for a while, I suppose I've neglected to actually introduce myself. Hello, my name is Lie Ren, and I have been studying at the University of California, Irvine.

I've also been dreaming like so many people on this Network seem to. In my most recent dreams, our classes have begun. I have to say, the professors at Beacon are certainly... interesting. And there sure seems to be a lot of tension in Team RWBY. I hope they can work it out.

Know what's worse than being the sudden focus of an obviously bullshit tabloid story? Having said tabloid story brought to your attention by your own students.

Fortunately said students have enough brains in their skulls to know a bullshit story when they read one. Not that that stopped them from spending nearly the entirety of the class laughing and coming up with some (admittedly clever) barbs in my direction.

I'm just hoping the department head has as many brains, not to mention the university board...

...though, all that being said, I choose to take the compliment about my ass for what it is.

A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

I CAN SEE!!

Is anyone else experiencing any kind of weird changes…like…to themselves? As in personality habits FUCK! not being able to tell a goddamn lie?

This is like the WORST WEEK, why am I so unlucky?

I went down to the mall to ask Santa for help with my finals for Christmas, because who doesn't believe in Santa? But he told me I was too old for this, and then this mistletoe appeared?

And... well I kissed a Santa and I think he liked it. I hope that means he's going to grant my wish, I have no idea how that even happened. I'm so going to fail these, guys. Maybe he'll at least put in a good word for me? I really shouldn't have spent so much time playing that free video game but come on, free video game.

Oh my gosh guys, have you seen all of this snow!?! I was already thinking: "Hey Jaune, wouldn't staying at the dorm this Christmas be SUPER cool and adult? You can do this! Your parents won't even miss you!" but now I'm thinking - woah there, those roads look REALLY unsafe. I bet they're too unsafe to drive down to San Diego, right?

I'm just going to imagine I'm seeing all of you nodding at me. "Yes, Jaune, they are." Hi, by the way. I'm Jaune. But you... probably already know that. Anyway - about that snow, do you think it's really going to stick? Cardin bet me 50 bucks it would, and I would really... really... like to keep my cash. What do you think?