Network

Say you have access to a space ship.

What's more romantic, the rings of Saturn or parked near one of Jupiter's moons?

I've delayed overly much in joining this network, but with my retirement from the NFL being official, I've much time on my hands. What does everyone like to do to enjoy themselves? Miss Siri has many recommendations but I like to hear from real people, as well.

I've decided my apartment is terribly lonely. Which is generally nice, but I'm a social creature at heart, and even when I'm reading or something, I'd still rather do it in company than on my own. So I've done something brash and exciting and got myself a kitten.

( Cut for image, warning: kitten. )

I've named him Bazin. It just came to me, though I'm not sure why, but there you have it. He's blind, so I've got all sorts of jingly toys. He's lively when he wants to play, but mostly he's content to curl up in a lap or on a warm spot on the carpet. And it gives me reason to constantly chatter, he likes to follow me around.

In any case, I'm smitten. I'm sorry to all the lovely ladies and handsome men, but my heart has been taken by Bazin and I don't think I'll ever get it back.

Okay guys I don't usually talk about my dreams because... duh? Who wants to talk about that crappy Island or being kidnapped or whatever. Not me! Not usually.

But uhm...

Has anyone ever had that feeling like some part of their soul kinda went missing? After a dream, I mean.

I think I died a little bit last night, and not because of great sex. Which we all know is the only acceptable way to die a little bit.

Ah suppose ah should start figuring out what ah'll need for my trip next month, huh. Ah think there's a lil shopping trip in it for me.

Sam
We gonna meet up sometime for clothing talk?
Ah'm running low on good clothes and am tired of wearing a gazillion layers.

Such excitement!  To think I was disappointed to learn I would be staying here.  It's so much better than I could have hoped!

What have I missed?  Talk to me, darlings.  Spare no detail.

I need some advice. At what point do you go from dating to a...relationship? Or how do you make that step?

Alright, who turned out the lights!?

Seriously... okay yeah the sun is down shut up. But it's been SUPER dark out all day. Since like... noon.

Orange County, what are you doing now?

...I hate the garbage disposal. Does anyone know how to fix a garbage disposal? Or... get things out of it?

I don't want to stick my hand in there. I've seen too many horror movies.

Garment grids? Okay, that's the stupidest freakin' thing I've ever heard. Dreams, you are drunk, stop being in my head.

Baaaaasicaally I dream I can get awesome new superpowers by using this garment grid thing. And changing clothes. I'm sure it's more complicated than that, but WHO GETS SUPERPOWERS WITH NEW CLOTHES?

Oh that's right. I do.

I need more spheres - memories of people that they record on actual spherical things - but eventually I'll be able to do magical outfit changes like Superman only way more weird looking.

Derek, stop laughing.

Is anyone out there hiring? I kind of woke up with some ... well, wounds that are surely going to scar, which makes burlesque not really as viable as it once was.

I've done almost everything at least once, and I'm sharp.

So meditation when you're agitated is pretty near impossible. Maybe I'm not helping by obsessing but I can't seem to make myself quit no matter what I do. Every attempted distraction just comes back around to seeing her in his arms, seeing him worry over her when she had been poisoned, and my rage at the lot of them and their Confederacy. These dreams are going to drive me crazy, I swear and there's very little I can do about it. All I can think to do is let it out before I make myself worse, so here it is:

If Rush Clovis, or any member of the Trade Federation or Separatist, or really anyone else, puts a hand on my wife again I will gut them.

Not sure if that will help, but I do feel a little better.

I just don't understand how my sister can't see what everyone else sees when they look at Damon. how she can't see that he's a bad person. He's manipulative and he's pretty much confirmed that he will probably end up exactly like he is in the dreams, which is a cold blooded killer. He's already threatened me in real life and broken my neck in the dreams cause he was upset that Elena didn't want him. He cheated on her with one of her friends and she's just gonna take him back. It pisses me off cause she's just leaving herself open to being hurt again. At least she agreed not to invite him over when we get an apartment. She still deserves so much better than him.

I guess the dreams don't realize that you really don't need a dose all the time.

I did learn a few more things about my dream self. I didn't have to die, neither Stefan or I did. That bitch had a plan all along but we tried to play heroes, lesson learned. Of course, she never told us about it. don't even start on the werewolves either. My body count keeps rising as a vampire. Heart removal is an effective way to kill a vampire or werewolf. Don't get any ideas here.

I also found out that the heart still beats as a vampire as long as there is blood in your system, and pictures can be taken. We still show up in the mirror. It's a good thing. How else would I be able to know how my hair looks?

Also, the break is over, kids. Time to get back to work.

Feeling the urge to stab people has only increased.

One upside to my dreams is the knowledge to take scrap and turn it into something useful.

I just upgraded my toaster.

Renji
Ah can't wait to see you flip that poor cow across the field, just so you know

Raven
Wanna try another family meal? We succeeded at the last one okay.

Logan
Everything going okay after the OC's fuckery? If you need ta hit something, lemme know.

Sam
How are things going chica?

Remy
Cajun - when you want to talk?

Public
Ah actually bought myself a few new pieces of clothing. They're not even black. Ah'm feeling impressed with myself.

Is there a difference between a bribe and a 'I really really want to show my appreciation for not leaving my crazy arse' present?

So we're all sort of nesting and getting animals, right? (I TOTALLY BLAME YOU, ANAKIN!) Well, consider me +1 on the bandwagon. I went to the shelter and found this little guy staring at me.

( Cut for image, viewable to all. )

Sam will probably kill me but I'm looking into a concealed carry permit.

ETA: Also, I need a good gunsafe.

The rumors are true. I got engaged on Christmas Eve. It's a good thing.

How is 2014 going?

THIS WAS TOTALLY UNEXPECTED BUT GUESS WHO ASKED LARA TO MARRY HER AND GUESS WHO SAID YES!?

(okay obviously it was LARA who said yes but seriously omg you guys I have a freaking wedding to plan and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!!!!)

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE THIS YEAR IS GONNA BE AWESOME!

So, in honor of the fact that I've just lived through maybe the third most embarrassing way to come out to your parents ever, me and Lara are going away for New Year's. Where I'm taking her is a secret but we're totally on our way to boarding a plane right now and do you know how hard it is to keep it a secret when it's like printed on the board and everyone keeps talking about it?

I have her in earplugs and blindfolded. Try explaining that to the TSA.

Hey Portia, that dress came out amazing, by the way, and I can't wait to wear it tomorrow night. I'm pretty sure Lara's going to bust something!

Anyway, Happy New Year guys! We'll be back on like Thursday.

Croft Manor
It's safe to come back, the parents are gone. We restocked the fridge for you guys. Dani, the cats miss you.

Those of you who know me, know that I severely dislike this time of the year; however, in attempt to be a more sociable and in lieu of a long overdue housewarming, I will be hosting a New Year's Eve party. Consider this an open invitation to my family, friends, and roller derby teammates and others lost on this our Island of Misfit Toys, whom have no place better to spend the countdown to midnight.

Party begins at 9 o'clock in the evening. You may bring a food stuff or liquor (Note: Those of you who are underage will not be imbibing alcohol that evening under threat of having activated charcoal pumped down your throat and into your stomach). Do dress for the occasion and should you have dog allergies or a dog-based phobia-- better luck next year.

Please RSVP below so I can have an accurate headcount.


[This intention for this open invitation party is for characters, both old and new, who might not normally meet to encounter and make connections. It does not matter if your muse knows Hela, she's feeling welcoming this night.]

Oh goodie, Photos. Ah.. don't even know what ta make of this.

Ah'll just....

not only did ah get a photo the other day, which is still creepy, ah got a present from mah dreams. Hello snazzy green uniform, you look mighty fine. Ah kinda like it.

Lara, Sam
Hey. Ya'll still up fer helping me find material ah can wear that ain't stifling?

Raven
We doin' Christmas?

Logan
Ah know this is a bit weird, but ah've got a Christmas gift for ya.

So what do you do when the dreams come at you and try to kick your ass?

You decorate your living space like a boss, that's what. I'm officially the KING of Christmas decorations, you guys. Bow before my awesomeness!

[ several pictures of Croft Manor decorated in evergreen garlands, lights, and crystal snowflakes, plus a few shots of the outside lined with icicle lights ]

I didn't even almost fall off the roof trying to get those icicle lights up. Lara, I'm okay.

I'm debating, dear listeners.

I do like to decorate for Christmas, but now there's Hector to consider, and I'm not sure how well cats and decorations mix.

Would those who own cats please chime in with some helpful hints?

My dad is currently doing desserts for a holiday themed wedding, which means that I am in taste-tester heaven at home right now.

( Cut for image of delicious cake. )

Orange and almond cake, with cranberries, and a lavender sugar icing. Yes, please.

Was this the face that launch'd a thousand ships,
And burnt the topless towers of Ilium?

Helen. Yeah. Helen and Paris. Helen and Paris and me in the corner saying 'go on, sugar, it'll be totally cool if you run off to Troy with the hot prince. Menelaus will completely forget about you within the week'. Heh, yeah, that went sooooo well.

So yeah, I guess the lesson today kids is: shipping is all well and good but whatever you do don't try to actually push your ships together because you could start a terrible ten year war.

Self-cauterization. I don't really recommend it. It's unpleasant.

I'm tempted to take the designer thong I found in the couch and put it on the bulletin board in the lounge. Obviously the owner didn't care about leaving it there, it's probably the best way for it to find its proper home.

I don't think I'll ever get this poor crochet hook clean. Another innocent tainted by modern sexuality.

OOC: Unsurprisingly the conversation below has become even more NSFW

FUN NON-CHRISTMASY BASED DISCUSSION.

As an avid reader of these boards, I can't help but noticing a lot of us are shameful flirts. To this end I ask: does anyone else ship people on this board or am I just crazy? Like, there's some of you who aren't dating but I just want to smush your faces together and be all NOW KISS.

( cut for image, viewable to all. )

Like that.

I swear to god, you guys are going to make me go all Fiddler on the Roof on your bottoms and start randomly setting you up. Which would turn out badly, since I'm sure some of you are like me and are taken but can't turn off the flirt.

I guess I'm just saying augh, Valar, why so cute?

No one told me tumblr would eat my life when I signed on to it. I was supposed to go out tonight but instead I've been sitting here for the last two hours looking at the weirdest things while downing this bottle of '06 Chardonnay.

For instance Pornhub Comments On Stock Photos. It's so terrible, I mean really really terrible, but utterly hilarious. If you click the link be prepared to laugh and cringe at the same time.

Woooooow! I love when I wake up and there are good surprises from these dreams. I woke up and there was a brand new wardrobe in my bedroom, which was completely unexpected, and it is completely futuristic looking. I knew it had to be something from my dreams because it looked so familiar.

I opened it up and it was full of dresses from my dreams. Some I haven't even seen before! They are so beautiful in person and I really wish I had time to dress up in them. But I would definitely need my own set of handmaidens to help me out with some of them. The head pieces, my god. It even came with a few of the dresses on mannequins so I took a few pictures. I really want to show these off.

( Dress Pictures )

I am dying over how pretty they are.

fuckAfter last nights dream I never want to sky dive. The scar in my side reopened when I woke up, too, but that's not so bad. I didn't freak out this time.

I'm not sure much could freak me out anymore.

I am so relieved I made it through my first American Thanksgiving. I never used to bother with it, since Father always thought it was a silly excuse for gluttony. But now I have married an American, and I did not make a fool of myself with his family. I am very pleased.

The things you see in the supermarket tabloids. Lara, is there something you and Sam need to share with us?

( cut for picture )

I've been banished from my own kitchen. I just wanted tea. I usually prefer coffee but I need tea to deal with your strange American holidays.

Sam, lets go for a walk on the beach before Dani makes the whole house a demilitarized zone.

I think I might have to just put down some roots here in Orange County. This place is super amazing with it's craziness, you know? It's like... never a dull moment, even if your dreams turn into nightmares, right?

First this monster thing... and it ruined my camera! SO ANNOYING. It's a good thing I left my phone in the car. But hey! MONSTER! That never happens in London. And despite what Anime and monster movies might lead you to believe, it doesn't really happen in Japan either.

THEN someone promises me a pony. I just can't even. This place! I love you guys. <3

So... I thought maybe Lara had just gotten so very good at sex that she was literally making the earth move, which you know would have been super awesome.

But it's shaking when we're not even doing anything, too, so unless she's off flying solo and I don't know about it, are we having earthquakes or something? I am so not on board with earthquakes. Someone tell the fault lines to behave!

I keep seeing all of these messages on here about Thanksgiving. I'm afraid I'm not familiar with this idea. Could someone please explain a bit more to me about how this works? What is this holiday? I also hear something about Black Friday, too. Why is it a Friday that is black?

If the princess is in another castle I'm going to shoot someone.

I'm also going to need more cover up at this rate.

Sam

I dreamed again. You've quite the remarkable ability to get kidnapped.

Sigrun and I got to chatting the other day and feel we have been snubbed for our age from the forming roller derby team so in that spirit, we have decided to create our own.

Do you want to try something new and become a part of an awesome community? Whether you're looking to get in shape, meet new people or take out some aggression, and have some fun, you'll be hooked on roller derby!

The Valkyries are recruiting women from the ages of twenty-one to thirty-eight. You will need quad skates, elbow and knee pads, wrist guards, helmet and a mouth guard.

Practice should run into the late afternoon and evening hours.

We also need a head coach and I'm told we wouldn't say no to a handsome male cheerleader or two.

So my dreams were okay. I mean, everyone and their mother warned me not to move here because I'd get creepy scary dreams of horrible things. I'm looking at you, Shepard. At first I thought there was no way I could dream of anything that bad, and then I thought: Well, Lara's dreams are pretty bad, but she shouldn't have to do this alone.

Then I got here, and I dreamed about being daddy's little girl and having more adventures with Lara. I was like... These dreams? I can so handle these bitches. But now the ship's crashed and Lara's missing and there's this creepy guy. And my real life me is like "SAAAAM why would you trust this guy, he's super creeepy!" But she's not listening to me.

So... whatever. Stupid dreams. Here, have a video about an adorable spider instead: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DsGvT2DYJMc

Can we talk about how adorable this spider is? Omg. It's all: " D8 what is that? Oh god it's going to eat me! My life is so hard and scary!"

BRB, getting a laser pointer to distract the spiders in the bathroom with.

Happy.

OMG. My best friend just 'Copper Marigolded' me. Today is hysterical!

Everyone kept me so busy since I got here that I actually forgot yesterday was my birthday! Can you believe that?

I wasn't even that upset about it. I mean... When you pass 21, birthdays don't seem to matter as much and really the closer you get to 30 the scarier they get. But Lara took me out for Curry and then we had some ice cream cake!

My birthday present from her was amazingly awesome. I now have a brand sparkly new laptop that can edit video footage and stuff! Just the thing I need to record all of her awesome archaeology exploits. Eeeeee, I'm so excited!

Ever do something and then realize something wonderful afterwards, that you hadn't realized you were going to realize?

Lately, I have been waking up from these recurring nightmares. I know they can't be true, but they've felt so real that I can't shake this lingering sense of dread afterwards.

And why is the house so damn cold? (Brienne, have you been playing with the thermostat?)

I think this place is beginning to mess with my head.

I don’t know what I’m becoming. I wake up with a new scar every day. Some of them are angry and raw, others faded. My bones ache, my fingernails, my teeth. I look in the mirror and there’s a stranger staring back. Her eyes… there’s a hardness in them. A darkness, like something that could consume me.

I kill these men in my dreams. They’re hopeless. They’re twisted by that island into something beastial. Most of them are insane. They want to kill me. Kill me, and they have Sam. I want to make them afraid of me. I want them to know I’m coming and I want them to die. Before anything could happen to any of my friends.

I count. One. Then three, then ten. I kill them with a pistol, I kill them with a bow. Oh, I’m so good with that bow. I still feel sick, each time I kill. The worse are up close. When I have to kill with the climbing axe, or choke them with my bow. But I don’t pause, I don’t reflect on it, because if I did, I’d die. And if I died, there’d be no one for Sam.

They’re afraid of me. Last night they saw me coming. They were afraid of me and I made them run.

I feel like I lost control of my life. I thought these dreams were going to be exciting, but they’ve become an utter nightmare. I can’t even relax. Shepard snuck up behind me and I nearly stabbed her with a knife.

She just gave me this look. Like she knew. Like she understood. And that scares me most of all.