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So I’m not sure exactly why but I’m getting emails about products to enlarge my penis. What? Why? I haven’t visited any websites that would have led to that. And I checked all my registries so I know there’s nothing embedded in my system

Alright, so I’m thinking that there has to be something to that whole phone addiction thing that people keep throwing around. I had the weirdest dream last night, and considering some of the other dreams I’ve had since moving here that is definitely saying something. But this one - was all about my phone. I was sitting in some doctor’s office looking room, just scrolling through some website on my phone when this random redhead woman comes stomping over to me, snatches it from me, throws it to the floor, and stomps on it. Breaking it in half. And that was when I woke myself up crying. Over my phone being broken in a dream. I would give it to my new assistant to hold onto but… how would I text my boyfriend randomly to spice up his work day?

I found Nico in cat form.

I'm not sure if I disapprove more of them feeding the at nuggets, or them teasing the poor thing with nuggets.

I'm glad there's no more major holidays until the summer. Now we just have to deal with usual weddings and celebrity parties. Luckily we don't have anything too heavy right now. No bloody bridezillas or almost impossible requests. I know it won't last long, but I'm going to enjoy it for the time being.

My dreams have been most unkind of late.

If anyone would like to share good things from their dreams, I'd really appreciate it.



Loki

Brother. What have you dreamed?


Angela

Do you have a moment?

I got a lighter, a surfboard, and apparently, I joined the Navy. I didn't see the Navy thing coming, but I can say the dreams came full circle.

It's funny that it's been a long time since new things happened. I'm not surprised about some of it. It's always a murder mystery of some sort, always the ups and downs. My girlfriend doesn't trust me. We makeup and break up. If I don't do all the right things, we just don't work. I had totally forgotten about Dick though. He lives up to his name, but there are times that I wish the guy was really around. I need his sense of humor.

After all the stops and starts, and one more mystery - the girl and I end up together. I flew into the sunset and back to finish up my tour in the Navy.

Thank me for this cliff notes version.

Initially I had not thought there was anything odd happening when my charity was getting more people coming to us for assistance. However, after talking with a few women that have come to us, I find out a few shelters have closed recently because of buildings being bought. I don't like the sound of shelters closing down, but I will not turn anyone away that comes to us. It just means more work for us.

[Ilia]

Which brings up a topic we should discuss.

Second time this month I've had someone throw a brick through my window. I'm not sure why people think that'd scare me. It just pisses me off that I have to keep replacing my window.

I just saw on TV that Taco Bell delivers now. Something tells me that's going to be really popular in California. And Washington state. Colorado. Oregon. Etc.

So, out of curiosity, how long is this whole...invisible bungie cord thing supposed to last? Or are there no time frames with these things here? I'm starting to need my space

I just finished watching that documentary on Netflix, Abducted in Plain Sight. I don't even know what to think of that. I just can't wrap my mind around it. That girl's parents have boggled my mind. How these people just continued to fall for that man's lies and continued to keep him in their lives in one way or another is just insane.

Has anyone else watched it?

This is absolutely shameful. Teenagers should not have to get vaccinations in secret because their parents don't grasp basic science. Or fact check them about vaccines.

So the only thing worse than being home on a Saturday night is being home on a Saturday night, sober, and with no purpose.

Well. I have a purpose. And that purpose is to listen to random music, and share a weird survey with you all because I am bored. as. fuck.

( Shuffle Music survey )

...Just watched a lady standing on a rooftop fireball a whole street of zombies

It was ... hot.

A few warnings about the Scourge.

They can't be reasoned with. They also cannot turn you into one of them unless you're exposed to the plague, which typically must be ingested. So don't eat any suspicious looking grains.

The typical ghouls are much faster than zombies you see in movies, and watch out for geists, who like to climb walls and attack from above.

I'm more concerned about the giants, abominations and frost wyrms, personally.

They're being led by a man called the Lich King. He's incredibly powerful and dangerous, so if you see a man in blue armor with a glowing blue sword, run.

You risk your very soul if you stick around.

There should be an on/off switch for dreams. I'm tired of the weird dreams of werewolves, things related to werewolves and high school.

We're two weeks into Jan... Why the fuck do people still have Christmas trees and lights up?

So this is my own little corner of the internet, huh? If I had a therapist, they'd probably say it's good for me to have my own outlet or some shit.

Fuck that. All I need is music, sweet music. I'm Peter, by the way, and I'm looking for music recs. Maybe if I put it out there, the magic of the internet can help update my iPod.

Hit. Me. Up.

Maybe next year will someone remind me not to work the Christmas shift? How they hell does someone get third-degree burns from a frickin' turkey?

There is a giant wall around Seattle in my dreams. No one allowed in or out. Why do I feel like my dreams are becoming a bad foreshadowing of real life?

The good thing about being from a time zone that is two hours behind local time is that I can use those “extra hours” to completely finish unpacking and decorating my apartment.

The bad thing is that I lose some sleep cause I’m trying to wake up at a normal time here.

Any tips for going to sleep earlier? I’ve tried but I just end up staring at the ceiling.

While I have no plans to ever get in the sort of trouble with the cops that results in high speed car chases, I have to say that if I ever do? I'm damn well taking the opportunity to force them into doing fucking donuts in the road while I have the chance to. I've been watching this for five minutes, and it keeps getting funnier.

Edited an hour later: I've sent this and my comments about it on a family group text. So far only my sister's replied, just to ask me "Why are you like this?"

Oh fucking hell, whatever's going on needs to fucking stop. I suddenly know what it must feel like to have an L2 implant. I've had a steady headache that's now turned into a migraine, or something worse. It's hard to tell. All I know is that it hurts. I think I'll be wearing noise-cancelling headphones for the duration of however long this happens.

Or maybe I'll just perform brain surgery on myself and take this fucking implant out of my head.


[Private to Isabela]

Given the fact your phone is possessed and I can't handle noise, I'll be keeping those noise-cancelling headphones on. If you need to talk to me or something, throw a paper ball at me? Or something else gentle to get my attention. Hopefully this won't last long otherwise I'm going to have to kill myself.

My coffee maker is on the fritz. Churned out some kind of sludge, and then I swear to god it beeped angrily at me.

Anyone up for a little fun on October the 30th?

So I'm not much for decoratin' on Halloween. Not like I want those little rugrats comin' around asking for free candy and all that.

But I figure, maybe this time I'll give it a shot.

( Cut for image )

'Course I think I'll put an extra chair there for me on the day, so I can just sit there and drink along with 'em as my blue, beautiful self.

Alright. I need some recommendations. What's the scariest haunted house, park, building, event, etc that you have been to?

I should really just go back to
This is stupid

I don't know exactly why I'm doing this, but randomly. Has anyone on this thing ever heard of an organization which calls itself The Hand?

( Cut for potential death mentions )

According the my students, I should be advertising my classes on sites like this. Yet it seems people are more interested in posting about dreams. Which leaves the question if that's more this site or my students just putting one over me.

I have chosen Mare and I's costume for Halloween. I, am going to be Peter Pan, and Mare is going to be my Tinkerbell. She's going to be cute as a button.

I think I finally have gotten over the fact my last attempt at a boyfriend really did up and leave. I'm accepting that it was probably me, I'm a complicated mess of a person with this ability and all.

But I also know working sixteen hours at the Cafe won't fix anything. I need to step back and reconnect with my friends, all of whom I've alienated. Maybe I should have my managers manage, and me only stop by to do menu changes, for awhile.

I'm asking in the name of Scientific Inquery:

What substances and/or actions have people tried in effort to prevent themselves (or others) from Dreaming? Go!

I think the only thing stranger than bein' an alien is bein' the teenage version of my alien self and not rememberin' much. Still managed to raise some hell though.

Still mixed on whether I'm proud of teenage me or not on that point.

Thanks but no thanks for that reminder of why being a teenage succubus sucks, Orange County. I could've lived with only having dreamt about that sort of experience. At least no one died, though. This time, anyway. I need a drink. Or fifty

Some kid tried to follow me and I nearly shot him. Guess I'm a little jumpy.

Fun part of being able to shapeshift into a dog; Cuddle piles with actual dog, wife, and baby.

I can shapeshift into quite a few things now, but dog is my favorite!

I lost a lot in the fire, but I was able to restore my blog from a back-up. Just... don't know if I want to keep doing that right now.

But it was good money. And I really should try living in a place that's not an abandoned caboose.

Quick question - items showing up from the Dreams don’t necessarily mean monsters creatures in them are going to be showing up too, right? I know we’ve had a lot of things crossing over from people’s dreams and attacking but - did those people wake up to items from their dreams right before the invasion?

Are you ever too old to set up a slip'n'slide?

To paraphrase a great psychiatrist, ladies and gentlemen, take my advice, pull down your pants and slide down the slip'n'slide!

I'm finally going back to active duty at work today, and Alex will be getting out of prison it looks like life is going to finally start getting back to whatever counts as normal here. It would be nice if things actually stay normal for a while.

Chris, my kid brother, hasn't been dealing with things so well. I ended up calling his sister in New York last night and had a long talk with her about something that could help get his confidence up, and it sounds like he's always been an animal lover. Given how fucking stupid people are, I can't say I blame him.

Anyway, I don't suppose anyone knows of any sort of... activities or programs for a seven year old that would let him deal with animals on a regular basis, do they? I really need to find something that will help take his mind off all the shit he needs to deal with on a regular basis.

I don't know how to begin about this.

( cut for discussions of death )

You're all welcome by the way.

You know, I've never been to California before. Growing up, I always thought it was supposed to be sunny and warm. But I've been here for one day and it's snowing. Didn't you guys just have a heat wave? Apparently global warming is worse than I thought.

Guess I should introduce myself. My names Will, and I just moved here from Chicago.

Right. Because a female, bunny cop couldn't possibly be able to handle major cases like the rest of these big dumb brutes.

They put me on meter maid duty. Awesome. At least dream me was able to try and do the best she could. Even I'm in awe of her tenacity.

Picture of a very large Mabari Hound guarding a very tiny baby girl

Barkspawn is already in love. But then who's not going to fall in love with Kyra?

Finally getting back to work today. Granted I'm stuck manning the desks instead of doing something actually useful, but it sure is better than binging that Lethal Weapons TV show some more.

I just really wish that my dreams hadn't decided to welcome me back to work with a dream where D tricked me into rigging a horse race. I don't know why I'm surprised, or how I didn't see this coming. Of course a human trafficking, drug dealing serial killer wouldn't be above fixing gambling matches. Still. Pisses me off. Especially after I put a bet on the horse in question.

Anyway, D blatantly breaking the law in front of my face or not, I don't think there's a goddamn thing on earth that could ruin my good mood today.

Lying on the couch for days at a time is the most frustrating thing I've ever had to do. I'm pretty sure getting dream shot is worse than getting actually shot. Not that I'd know.

At least those same dreams gave my Gattolotto. It's nice to have something to talk to when Chris and Alex aren't around.

A preview for Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom was on the TV today and Mare started laughing at the dinosaurs on the screen and making grabby hands. No sweetie, daddy cannot get you a dinosaur.

Another dream, another murder. Though, this time, D didn't do it. Actually, he ended up helping me solve it, which is kind of annoying. I hope he's not expecting me to owe him one, because the only thing I owe him is a one-way ticket to the slammer. Also, I'm starting to be pretty damn sure he can talk to animals. Dream me's convinced he's losing his damn mind, seeing as people can't fucking talk to animals, but I've seen enough weird shit over the last few months to think that D standing for Dolittle isn't that much of a stretch.