Network

[Note: Takes place following this narrative.]

I was realizing earlier today--well, yesterday, now, I've been working on this post for a while--that I don't really know you guys that well. I mean, I have this whole storehouse of memories that don't really apply to you as you are here. And I wanted to change that.

So... hi. I'm Twilight. When I'm not being a pony, I'm majoring in computer science, mechanical engineering, history, and English. I grew up in Connecticut. I have one older brother, and I don't really have any hobbies. I'm too busy to have something recreational stick.

I don't know. I don't really know how to introduce myself to people. But tell me about yourselves. [Unsent] And then I can take the responses and use them to make a template for future introductions. No, Twilight, that's creepy. [/unsent]

Yo Ollie! Your girlfriend demands chocolates, foot rubs and unreal amounts of sex.


AND WE NEED TO TALK

I also uh.

Remember that thing I told you about? From the dreams? With the thing? And the pointy teeth?

I'm waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay pale yo.

I sometimes can't see myself in the mirror.


(OOC: Attempt to delete part of the post has FAILED. Bwahahah.)

Dash.

Marty's Coffee.

11am.

Meet you there.

Well, at least I've only gotten one thing I really didn't want to see so far. Guess I'm luckier than some.

...Even if it kinda sucks that everything screws up when I wanna ask people more, uh, private things.

Mr. Kirk ... ... Jim?

Uhm... I... well I'm trying this here because things aren't really working out so well with my phone and I got a text message from a vampire, so I'm kind of afraid that if I text you it might end up on a dragon's phone or something, but...

... I was wondering if you could... Angel is really, really sick, and I don't think I should drag him to the vet on the bus again... But I don't have a car, and... and I was wondering if you could drive me, but if you can't, that's okay too.

Most of us are familiar with unusual dreams. If you believe they are real, is there anything you would avoid now?

I know that if I become pregnant, I will die. and so will everyone else So the counter to that is obvious.

If there are any more songs in my dreams like that Winter Wrap-Up one, I'm gonna have them stuck in my head forever.

Way too catchy. Seriously.

GIRAFFE ACCOMPLISHED

Oh... uhm... Hi, Everypony!

I... well I had this idea, you see, and maybe you won't all like it, or... well you probably have some other plans, too, and that's alright. This is last minute, so ... well. I didn't really expect too big of a response.

But...

We have those dresses that Rarity made, and I have a lot of space at my house, and I'm wondering if you all want to maybe... get ready at my place together before going to the Gala. We could help each other with hair and makeup and things before we go...

Maybe some of you could stay the night

( See what I made you lovies. And an offer of a lifetime to others on here )

Guys, Pony-people and anyone else who cares.

I got way too drunk a few days ago. Woke up to find three blue diamonds on my left ass cheek.

I can't sit down much still.

Okay, last night's dream was kinda cool. Even if I'm kinda wishing I'd known that kicking a dragon's not really allowed.

FUCK MY LIFE, SERIOUSLY!

I just wanted s simple romantic dinner, I looked fabulous, and she was gorgeous as ever...

But DAMMIT I ended up in the ER because I tripped and made a complete LAUGHING-STOCK of myself in front of everyone.

I can't show my face at that restaurant again. Am I allowed to wallow in... in whatever?!

Hello Valarnet.

Save the date, September 7th. Stark Industries is going to have a little shindig to celebrate the opening of the campus. Black tie, and I personally guarantee an amazing time.

See you there, kiddos.

Where is this 'Fluttershy' that, that boisterous, rebellious, and shall I say 'needing of the fashion police' RD, told me I'm friends with?

Anyone care to help me get a hold of her?

( Filtered to 'Hawke' (all of them--Merrill wasn't as specific as she meant to be) )

I'm thinking of getting a pet.

Why did I just have a dream about being a damn pony? That whines a lot...

On the plus side, I found the most magnificently fabulous red glasses that actually seem to help me see my stitching perfectly.

Well, looks like I'm gonna need ta get a full-time job mighty soon. Just done inventory on the farm, and them furry things did such a number on our crops that even with the help we're gettin' from the state, we ain't gonna be able to put food on the table this winter.

I haven't got the faintest idea where to start. I got my GED and all, but I ain't never been nothing 'cept a farmer.

So, uh, I finally had some more of those dreams. With the pony stuff and everything and the kickass speed and... stuff. Real descriptive, RD

Anyone else had one about something called a Sonic Rainboom? 'Cause that was pretty cool.

Oh NEATO! I got nominated for a whole bunches of VMAs!

THIS CALLS FOR A PARTY!!

Apparently the departure of the swarm of fluffy creatures has convinced my son that he needs a dog.

Y'know, for someone they used to call a walking pride parade, my luck with girls has been like... slim to none lately.

Can I blame the weird fuzzy things? I mean, I know Pinkie dealt with 'em and all, but... Better than admitting I suck

AND THAT'S HOW EQUESTRIA WAS MADE!

I need a nap.

... ohgosh.

I am so sorry we didn't listen to you, please tell me you found that accordion and tuba and all the other things you needed.

Hello there, valar net! Guess what tastes like chicken, only slightly spongier, after you skin a bunch of them, rip the nasty poop shoot parts out, and deep fry them?

Hairy critters!

The others that I've found, I done added to jambalaya after properly seasoning them up and they aren't half bad! Sure, everything tastes like chicken, they say. But in some cases, it's the truth. Like this case! :D

One downside is that I think I ate Baby. But Baby was delicious and kept MAKING babies, so...c'est la vie. Got to get rid of them somehow.

I might also have drank a few too many beers during my culinary adventure.

...

To my housemates? Enjoy. There's leftovers in the fridge.

I just ... how did this many ... how?

There are so many... so... so many ... I only had four yesterday, but now there are ...

I can't even count them!

Goddess, it's the bunnies all over again... I don't... I need help... They're coming out of the woodwork and I don't even have woodwork and they're eating all my food!

EDIT: Oh I think I'm going to be okay now, thank you, I have some help now... I was just in such a panic!

Uh, Fluttershy? Is the little... furry, chirpy thing your doing?

'Cause it's really freaking out Tank. As much as a tortoise can get freaked

In the wake of the earthquakes, I can understand why some people might decide to bring pets into work. That I can forgive, though I do wish I'd been consulted so that I could suggest telecommuting or other options.

The real problem is when they're left to run free through the office. I know there's at least one animal expert on this network - can anyone tell me how to properly kennel a small fluffy... thing? It's not like any animal I've ever seen, and I need to contain it until I can find the owner or call animal control.

I found this tiny little fluffy thing in the bathroom this morning and another at work. I don't really know what they are or where they came from. It's been a really weird week. This should really surprise me more than it is.

And no, Nymphadora, you can't keep it.

I may have suffered some mild head trauma in the earthquake.

Well, okay, I got hit with a bookshelf. It happens.

Anyway, I may have experienced some of these shared otherworldly memories that are all the rage these days. However, I can't be certain, owing to the aforementioned head trauma. I made a few notes of the experiences I had, and I'd like to cross-reference any information you might have with mine to either confirm or disprove these memories.

Specifically AJ, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and RD. I'm also told that there's a young lady named Rarity who occasionally visits the network? We haven't met, but I think I've seen you in my dreams. I'd love to hear from you as well.

Is there a way to phrase that so it doesn't sound sexual? I'll worry about it later.

Also, if anyone else has memories of a pony society, I'd like your input.

... hamsters everywhere... some of my fish tanks are cracked...

Is everyone okay? ... the pet shop is a mess.

Ladies and gentleman(but mostly ladies), I have walked on the moon! We brought back some moon rocks. Didn't stick around to look for moon water, but left a little rover to do just that.

Next time: Mars.

I'd like to thank Scotty for being an engineering genius!

There was a very nice lady advertising part-time work at a pet store, but I can't find the advert. Is she out there and does she still need help?

Also, I owe a nice older gentleman some thanks and the purchase of tea.

I have a confession to make I'm a Big Brother junkie. I DVR the show and the After Dark. Though I'm not so addicted that I've purchased the live feeds.

Anyway, Ashley (one of the house guests) said something that made me think of a net post I saw the other day about the dreams. She wants to turn Cara (another house guest) into a My Little Pony and carry her around in her pocket.

I found myself drawing again last night. I wouldn't couldn't sleep so I took out my pencil and the sketch pad. Several memories found their way into the book along with something that seems to have taken over my imagination. It feels like I should know why it was mixed among the memories, but I don't know what it is. I don't know if I want to know what it is?

Since it seems that others are getting help on the net about the things that have been playing with their minds I'm going to reach out as well. Does anyone know what this is?

( Link to uploaded sketch )

I'm so sick of hearing about bath salts in the news. Especially the shitty reporters that think they're being cute.

Hey, uh, RD? Pinkie? Twilight? Fluttershy?

Remember how I told ya'll I'd say somethin' if I had a dream about bein' a pony? Well, this is me sayin' something.

Edit: I'm rememberin' a Rarity in my dream, too, if you're out there.

I feel kind of bad that everyone has bad dreams instead of good dreams! I'm having GREAT dreams about being a pony and having friends it's the best! There's Twilight Sparkle and Applejack and Rarity and Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy and WAIT YOU GUYS ARE ALL ON HERE TOO DO YOU DREAM OF BEING A PONY?

Or am I just super mega crazy?

( Wade )

I had the weirdest dream. I mean, even by this place's standards - I dreamt I was a pony. With wings. And there was singing about finding pets.

And I think Tank was in it too, which is even weirder. Don't usually dream about tortoises.

I'd like to think I'm the sort of person who has an abundance of patience. I mean, I've been told that before so it must be true, right? I'm just not so sure how much longer I'm going to be able to put up with my boss. She's in full on rage mode this week. Either she's PMSing or something is seriously wrong somewhere in her life. I try to be there for her, but she does nothing but take it out on me. I'm tired of coming home feeling awful because of her.

Anyone know of any openings

Once in a while they let us out to do some promotional work. It is always a lot of fun actually long as it is not some stuffy formal banquet. That is where I met this guy,

( Cut for image )

He was adorable and surprisingly friendly, not to forget charming too. My birthday is coming up... I wonder if I ask if someone would get me one? And I mean that as a complete joke. If one of you actually show up with one on my birthday you will be taking him home with you.

Oh hello everyone!

I uhm... just wanted to make a quick post to let you all know that the Menagerie is back to its regular open and close times now. Well it has been for a bit, but I forgot to say.

I have puppies and kittens!

The bunnies are almost all taken care of now, in case anyone was wondering.

EDIT: I also wanted to add that I'm uhm... well I get some free help around here but I really need an extra employee to cover the shop sometimes... so guess I'm hiring. You should come down and apply in person, if you want to.

You have to be an animal lover, of course!

You know that low whistle you make when you're at a loss for words? How would one type that? Wooo? Hooo?

I was up all night. There's lots of stuff out there, on the internet. You know? Stuff you don't even realize. Like this lovely little number I stumbled upon in a darkened corner of the valar network.


Guys. This might be the best thing I have ever seen. I don't know who's been working on it, or if it will ever go to print, but there is no reason to ever buy another calendar ever again.

( [.zip file: men of valarnet calendar] )


(ooc: All in good fun! React away! You can treat the images here like photos that were professionally taken, personal photos that were swiped, photoshopped images... Anything you like! I would have made about 100 more, but there are only 12 months this year. So if you don't see a pup you would have liked to seen in this, I'm super sorry. We'll get them next time! Obviously, this wouldn't have worked as well if I hadn't kept it a secret. But you guys like surprises, right?)

This is all your fault, Tony.

Hey Porn Guy. Or whatever your name is.

Anybody on this thing know a good dog park? Turns out I'm gonna be in need of one.

( My granddaughter picked him out for father's day )

Okay, so does everyone have their own personal bitchy British person following them around this week?

Or am I just special?

... I guess I'm uhm ... well I'm going to be spending some time together with this nice lady who has been very understanding so far about me and all the animals I have to take care of.

Still, out of fairness for her, the shop is going to be closed off and on for a bit... I... uhm...am not actually sure how long. If you need supplies, please try another one!

I'm sorry for the inconvenience, we just can't seem to stay away from eachother.

I'm going to kill my cat.
( Does anyone want a kitten? )

I think I need a hobby of some sort. Preferably of the stress-reducing kind.

Otherwise, I think I may actually end up throwing one of my students out a window next year.