Twilight Sparkle (magicalelement) wrote in valarlogs, @ 2012-09-30 20:26:00 |
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Entry tags: | !complete, twilight sparkle |
Who: Twilight Sparkle (Narrative)
What: Re-examining behavior and attempting to grow from it.
When: Saturday
Where: Home in bed, mostly. I know! Thrilling.
Status: Complete!
Rating: Work-safe. Well. Boobs are mentioned once. Twice, now that I mention the warning.
Twilight didn't have class on Friday. This was not her choice; there'd been a few courses that had interested her that she would have added to her schedule if her academic advisor had allowed her, but he had insisted that if she was going to take class for twelve hours a day, she would have to have some leisure time.
When she'd explained that studying was leisurely, she'd been shown the door.
She didn't want to admit it, but on Saturday morning, she was glad that he'd won out. She'd spent most of Friday unconscious, catching up on the sleep she'd missed out on the previous week. Losing count of the hours she'd spent awake wasn't an especially pleasant experience, but it was a novel one. Maybe she should write a paper about it...?
Just enough sanity had replenished that she knew that was a bad idea.
Twilight lay in bed for a few minutes, attempting to schedule the day. Tomorrow she would schedule next week, and she was looking forward to it, but for now she seemed to have the entire day free. That didn't seem right, though.
Groaning slightly as her body reluctantly allowed her to prepare for the day ahead, Twilight sat up and opened her computer. Under the "Schedules - Current Month" folder, she found the latest week.
Huh, she thought. I guess I don't have much to do today.
She vaguely remembered last Sunday, when she was knee-deep in thesis research and only had time for a very rough outline. It seemed that, according to the history of the document, she'd made a few changes on Wednesday, one of which included, "Become a tree to save on food!"
She hadn't done that, but checked it off the list anyway.
Saturday was dedicated to, "The French want you to fail DON'T LISTEN TO THEIR LIES" which she also checked off.
Yes. She would definitely have to allow herself more time for sleep.
But now she was free.
Fifteen minutes later, she was on the verge of pulling her hair out. Relaxation didn't come easily to her, with her mind constantly in need of a workout. Her childhood had been nothing but doing her best to keep her thoughts quiet; she couldn't handle it as an adult.
She lay back down, then sprang back up and paced a bit. She knew a lot of people in her position would look to their other self for guidance, but that didn't help her. Twilight Sparkle of Ponyville would look to her friends. When she considered that, she found that she wasn't really comfortable with it yet. She didn't quite know if they were her friends, really. She didn't know them that well--as ponies, yes, but not as people. She didn't know their likes and dislikes, passions, interests, favorite foods, reading habits...
"How do you make friends?" she wondered aloud.
Twilight sat down at her desk and turned on her computer, then navigated to the network to see if they were online.
Click. Click. "Damn." No such luck.
There was always the archive, though. Most of her friends had been online longer than she had; maybe she could learn more about them that way.
A small part of her was socially conscious enough to realize that that was a weird thought, but her only marketable skill right now was research. She couldn't do much else.
"Rarity."
What did she already know of Rarity? Twilight opened a blank Notepad document and made a brief list.
-Fashion designer
-Dating some girl
-Generous (made my dress!)
-Skillful (see above)
-Recently hurt
-Intelligent
Briefly added and then deleted was, "Nice boobs." A few minutes in the archive had her add, "Dramatic." She had to admit this was not a lot of information.
Rainbow Dash came next, which led Twilight to learn that she was dating Fluttershy. When did that happen? And why did she not know? Was it public, or were they outed during the mixed message debacle? Was she just a terrible person? She suspected it was the last one. Most of her research on RD led to her finding out more about Fluttershy, which, in retrospect, should have made it obvious.
Pinkie Pie was at least easy to research, given her popularity outside of the small group of internet oddities she associated with. Even then, the big news was Pinkie's real name going on her list.
AJ was new, so perhaps Twilight had an excuse for not having much information about her, but even then. She hadn't reached out to learn more about her, had she?
It wasn't that she didn't make friends because she didn't know how. It was because she didn't care enough to try.
Well, that would change. She could make friends and... stuff. It wasn't that far outside her bailiwick.
It wouldn't be until the next day that the post would go up explaining her desire to learn more about them, a post that Twilight slaved over, but she was glad that it did.