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Blazing bollocks of fire it is hot outside.

But never fear. We've a cool, air-conditioned tavern here at The Hanged Man. Our latest special involves seeing whose the lucky bastard who can locate all of the phallic symbols carved around the establishment - one can guess who is the artist behind that - and come to me with the accurate number and show me all the locations. This lucky winner will get a complimentary keg of our home-brewed Rat's Dropping (it's a beer, tastes better than it sounds, I promise) and a free week of all-you-can-drink-and-eat.

And a chance to grab my bum, so don't miss out on this.

(Yes, I'm a serious business owner.)

the more i learn about magic, the more i'm certain witches and wizards were meant to prank people most of the time with some time set aside for fucking shit up and then fixing that shit that you just fucked up. then there's just some stuff thrown in there for show and sparkles. like magic tricks. you can seriously just make bubbles come out of the end of your wand and then decorate an entire room with bubbles. the answer to your question is yes, yes, i did decorate my room with a lot of bubbles just to do it. don't worry, hawke, i won't let them make a mess of things. i am o+ at magic. i've been practising. obvs.

i've watched this video like five times today.

i wish this were an actual show.

also i found another bad syfy movie. dinocroc vs. supergator. bill from kill bill is in it. also apparently there's some movie about the aztecs and cortez and it involves getting attacked by a t-rex for some reason, but this is syfy, so basically logic isn't really important. i am prepared to watch a lot of terrible syfy movies. so many.

Good Morning. I’ll make this brief.

My name is Oz and I am the proprietor of Emerald City Cafe. No, I am not a wizard, nor do I claim to have any magical powers. And while I do appreciate the occasional magic trick, I assure you that the only thing hiding behind the curtain is a masterfully brewed cup of coffee.

As you are likely aware, many of our students have departed home for the summer. In an effort to cater to our more local clientele, including the resident night owls among us, our doors will continue to remain open twenty-four hours. If you have yet to visit Emerald City, I invite you to come browse the various varieties we have available and to confer, converse, and otherwise hob-nob with your fellow mates.

Whether you choose to join us or not, I wish you all a pleasant day and a fruitful summer season.

A rather substantial question, when considering theories on multiple worlds, is the question 'can signals be exchanged between worlds?' In some theories, no. Some even go so far as to say that alternate worlds are so far away that information signals cannot be exchanged between any two worlds. Individuals are bound to the 'parent' world and even though we have copies of ourselves in other worlds they are only counterparts of the individuals in whichever the parent world is. Though that begs the question, which is the parent world?

I think we all know that interaction, however, is possible. The dreams we experience are genuine pieces of knowledge about other worlds - we can safely say we know what our dream selves are thinking, correct? It's something I've been considering more and more as I attempt to couch my current research within previous findings. I'm always curious about how dreams play out for others as well, so if you have particular insights when it comes to interpreting the thoughts/actions of your other self, please, do share!

In other news, who knew you could send a Nutella bouquet to a friend or loved one? Whatever world we do live in, it is incredibly strange and fascinating.

I took the dogs and cat to the vet today for checkups. The labs were amazing as always, but Miss Ell was not happy at all. I hope the assistant didn't need to get stitches after that scratch...the vet let her do all the holding. I felt real awful so I asked her if I could do anything to make it up.

I guess I have a date now. I don't remember her name or where we're going but she wrote it down...the paper's here somewhere.

so wow. dream me got taken out by a child doing wordless spells. i mean...good job, girl. oh...and we're in a war now. so that's fun. i guess i'm sort of down for the count, buuuut...that means i can't do anything, right?

in other news, i saw this and now i feel like this is what I mean every time i say brb.

It is absolutely ridiculous to dream of your own death and then wake up to go about your day.

Not as if it was a surprise - since the same pneumonia nearly killed me here - but at least that heart attack on a bench was somewhat quick, and the last thing I saw was my wife and daughter, shopping in the distance. I knew I was going to die, I made peace with the end of my life and all that happened during. When I was a young man, I had liberty, but I did not see it. I had time, but I did not know it. And I had love, but I did not feel it. Many decades would pass before I understood the meaning of all three. And now, the twilight of my life, this understanding has passed into contentment was what I told Sofia, in my last letter to her.

The letter was with me when I woke up. So was a skeleton, but interestingly, it was not my skeleton - that would be even weirder, no? But for awhile, after escaping my own execution, I had spent so much time tracking down these keys to open the library of the legendary Assassin Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad - it was a race to get there before the Templars did, since we all believed that library was bursting with secrets. But inside there were no books, just Altaïr's skeleton. And another Apple of Eden, hidden, but I refused to take it. It would only bring about more suffering, more hardships - and I had seen enough. It was then I left behind my sword and my Hidden Blade. I left behind my life as an Assassin.

Certamente, none of that helps in deciding what to do about a skeleton now, but - that phrase 'skeletons in the closet' has more literal meaning.

It's like that episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer where everyone bursts into song. Like, singing about mustard and shit.

Don't mind me if I hide in my house for a few days. At least my husband won't say anything. He can't hear me sing, anyway.

This isn't so much of an existential crisis as a what the hell is life and does this really exist??

Apparently there's this comic where I'm teaming up with Ian McKellan (dressed as Gandalf) and we're entrusted with this, uh, task from the Sorcerer's Guild and going up against demon summoners from Mordor. I think there's a panel with flying banana peels - look, I don't know - and then the shenanigans cause me to flip a table of food that just showed up outta nowhere.

Cue explosions.

And Christopher Lee (dressed as Saruman) at the end.

I don't know much about Lord of the Rings but what I do know is this: Sunday afternoons need vodka in the orange juice, not champagne. I'll be toasting to you, Sir Ian McKellan.

I had...the weirdest dream--nightmare last night. But looking through a few of these posts, this is common? Is it something in the food or air around here?

I don't usually have dreams in my sleep but this felt so real. Maybe I need some melatonin.And some of you warned things would be odd. But this is probably just coincidence.

Probably time I found a therapist out here anyways.

Okay, a movie with such an iconic line like Snakes on a Plane shouldn't be on a channel that isn't premium. They literally dubbed it to "I've had enough of these monkey fighting snakes on this money fueling plane." That doesn't even make sense. They could have at least changed it to 'Mother frickin' Really Syfy?

My daughter turned eleven yesterday. I really need to brace myself for these pre-teen years. And puberty. These are some of the times I have dreaded. I shall simply assume that this is karma coming back to bite me for when I was her age.

Well, looks like I've joined the rest of you nutjobs. My dreams are never as vivid as the one I had last night. Apparently I go to a fucking magic school! And before any of you losers ask, no, it's not fucking Hogwarts. It's less Gothic castle and more college in Upstate New York. This is insane, but at least Eliot is there. So we can go through this crazy shit together.

um. i don't really know what to say about this last dream. i attempted a funny 'haha' thing, but it's not really funny.

i don't know. i guess i knew i wasn't great in the dreams, but i guess i thought i'd be better somehow my normal response would be drinking, but i'll still remember this afterwards, so...idk.

[Filtered to Remus]

it got worse. i didn't know it would get worse, but apparently it got super worse super quick.

I wish I was a better cook, or at least had a full refrigerator. I'm not sure I should leave my apartment right now with all the crazy things around. Is it safe out there?

It's been a long night in the office, I'll tell you that much. If anyone finds themselves in possession of any unusual tech (weapons, armor, etc.) please turn it in to the Agency for study.

.....

I see Star Wars outside my window... Not sure if this is awesome or not.. I'm gonna go with Awesome...

OH! I wonder if the Force is with me!!

Happy Star Wars Day everyone! May the Fourth be with you!

I had an eventful day. Put a baby bird back in its nest when I was out running with the dogs. And then I was in the parking lot of a grocery store for two hours helping people put their groceries in their cars. I guess I looked like a worker there. People were really nice, though, trying to give me tips.

Spending the night in the emergency room isn't very fun. Got my foot stepped on by a spooked horse with all the storming last night before work started. We also couldn't get through to call one of the others to replace me, so, show had to go on. taking a break from the restaurant for a few nights, then back to it. I'll be at the bar still though!

Okay, OKAY, lesson FUCKING LEARNED, do not do any of the handwaving magic bullshit from your dreams, especially if it might set shit on fire.

in my boredom, i found this. also this. i don't know how old that pug is, but probably not old enough to drink boredom is dangerous.

Private to Isabela & Hawke

your new guy thinks i'm a good person or can be or something. are you sure he isn't on drugs? the serious kind of drugs. also he was nice and that is suspicious, so i'm just saying...he's suspicious.

don't argue with me.

also does anyone else think he is like an over-sized labrador? because he is and again don't argue with me.

Greetings from Italy!

After a flight that seemed like it would never end, Enzo and I arrived safe and sound on one of the most beautiful countries in the world. After a stop in Rome we're now relaxing comfortably in Florence. I was nervous about meeting his grandmother but she has been amazingly sweet!

Alecto, it looks like you're going to have to pick up a back up souvenir.

I swear to god, if those assholes who are building a condo next to my apartment wake me by blasting Lady Gaga or whatever shitty ass pop star it is at six in the morning one more time, I'm going to go out there and arrest every single one of them for disturbing the peace.

Maybe it's time I move into a bigger place anyway. I wrote my Sergeants exam the other day, so with any luck I might get a promotion soon.

[Private to Revy]
You wanna look at some places with me?

want to know what's fucking creepy? skeletal fucking horses. that's what. also i have never seen them before, but they were pulling the carriages. i mean, okay, they're also fucking badass as hell, but fuck. according to dream knowledge, they're called thestrals. that sounded convincingly like me

So I wake up from dreams of magic lessons to find the spells are in my head and my wand is under my pillow. Anyone have a clue how much a safe will run me?

you know what's great? waking up to dream presents. well, dream presents when you want them, actually. i've never been excited about school books before, but now i have all of them and it's got all kinds of spells and stuff.

( Waiting line for a late night/early morning flight )

I enjoy night flying. It's usually pretty quiet and the air has been smooth most of the time. It'll be dawn by the time we get back, then it's on to the next. This is why I don't keep pets or plants.

Some sects of our Magic Guild are looking a little sparse, since people have come and gone over the weeks and months. I thought I would put out another open call for recruitment. Potions are not my specialty, but I have been practicing more and more - however, we could use the help there and in most other areas.

Please let me know if you are interested. I'm Zatanna, by the way, in case we have not been formerly introduced.

Is 3:00 in the morning too early for a drink? Moreover, is it too early for a drink in the shower? Because I'm covered in sweat, but I'd like about three bottles of wine right now.

on the list of things i'm not drunk enough for, my life is at the top of the list. and yet i have to be at work and that requires me to be sober. why is the universe punishing me?

if anyone wants to make terrible, drunken mistakes get drunk with me after i'm off work, probably let me know so i know to tell you where to go. if you're coming, though, don't be the emotional, oversharing sort of drunk and don't try to be my mum. none of that is acceptable tonight. i mean, if you want to feed me alcohol while also not letting me die, i guess you're allowed, but you still have to feed me alcohol or let me feed it to myself

Well, that was an unexpected turn my dreams took. Apparently I may actually end up happy. Or as happy as my dream self possibly can be. She has a girlfriend now. Though this is assuming that I don't mess it up. Me and happiness don't go together in the dreams very well.

I finally found a company that will transport the girl’s horses from my parents estate in England to here. So starting March 1st, I’ll be able to work on teaching the girls to ride.

[Regulus]

Still want lessons love?

I just totally lost track of time in the darkroom. No one else had it booked tonight so I had no idea how long I was in there for until I cam out just now and looked at my phone. Turns out, I spent four hours in there. At home I used to spend a lot of time in my darkroom, but I've never spent that much time in the school's darkroom.

It is very odd, to go to sleep and then see this...story playing out that you are watching. My brother Petruccio was very sickly as a child, and one day he asked me to collect eagle feathers for him - I was not certain why, but I did it anyway if he promised to return to bed. Then he was killed, deemed an accomplice to my father who was falsely tried of treason Petruccio was stabbed here, he-- but I kept the feathers and continued to collect them in honor of his memory. I do not know why he wanted them - all I know is that feathers were often used by Assassins to signal that they have been successful in taking out their targets, but that was much in the past. Not so much in my time.

To my surprise, the collection of eagle feathers was by my bed this morning. So was my lute, though it was been years since I have played. Hundreds of years, if these 'dreams' are what people say they really are.

So these Dreams you guys keep talking about, are they super realistic, but at the same time pretty goddamn ludicrous? Like shooting things and they explode into clouds of blood dust ludicrous?

who thought it was a good idea to make dream me a teacher? this is a terrible idea. muggle studies and deputy headmistress? what even? lol. someone trusts me. trusts me to be the worst at this job or maybe someone just hates students.

I don't care if people watch porn, but I don't think the school library is the place to do that. I came here to try and get some work done since my roommate decided to invite his friends back to our room tonight so I came to the library and went to the back where it's quieter and there's this guy watching porn on his laptop.

Come on!

Sometimes it's still hard to believe I own three businesses and am actually successful at it.

Damon, I feel we should go to all our professors who said we'd never amount to anything and flip them the bird. Maybe go be inspiration to the new frat boys in our old fraternity.

When I told one of my neighbors I was glad to have finally gotten back into mine and the girls’ routine after our trip - I didn’t mean that I was missing the dreams. Far from it actually. Although, getting to learn spells is already proving far more interesting than the dream I had about getting sorted by a hat.

Now that that’s out of the way - anyone on here able to steer me in the direction of a good, reputable company to transport horses from England to here? My parents decided that giving each of my girls a horse was a wonderful Christmas present, and left it up to me to figure out how to get them into the country as well as stabling and everything else.

It would be nice, very very nice, if my friends stopped dying in my dreams.

That is likely too much to hope for, I'm sure.

Ciao! Mi dispiace in advance, English is only the fourth or so language I learned. I learned for my studies, back at my American university in Rome. Often at times is confusione to write and read but now I am teaching Art History in the States, at university, my skill at this will surely improve even more.

Mi chiamo Ezio Auditore. I come from Florence, and also our family villa in Tuscany. Both very different places in Italy. I had to look back at this discussion site to catch up and it gave me many questions when I read prendere fischi per fiaschi!. But I do think I will like it here, even if American coffee is not so good. You say 'it's awful' but we say mi fa cagare! which means the same thing in Italian, only expressed more in dramatic way. In the literal that translates to 'it makes me poop' but, penso di sì, we have always been more dramatic in our language.

( cut for discussions of death, filtered from non-puncturable Star Wars folk )

I am very possibly literally spamming your little forum here, but I have like, no friends to text this to (wow how depressing is THAT statement) and it was of upmost importance that I shared this with ANYONE.

(I'm specifically looking at you, Scott, Scott McCall, local vet tech.)

Hello, I'm Gamora. I'm new to this network, though it is obvious that your reputation precedes you. That being a general 'you,' obviously.

I have arrived from Hawaii, where the beaches are much better. But I enjoy the Mexican influence here much more. I work in both security and interior design - did you know that jewel tones and boho accents look to dominate in 2017?

I do not know what else to say.

i didn't know how much affection i felt for my bed before now. it's been a very real experience.

I may be a bit biased but I fully believe that my niece is the most beautiful thing on this planet! She is just too perfect in every way.

I will also start working with a new family very soon which I'm very excited for. I've gotten to spend some time with the kids already and they're wonderful. It'll be nice to be doing a job I love again.

Sea Vegetable Conspiracy, yeah that's our current band name, is playing at, [name of club], tonight at nine. I know it's short notice, but we just got the job yesterday cause the band that was gonna be playing dropped out. So come check us out if you're free tonight.

this place is like being on drugs without the drugs. but that's okay. it might get boring otherwise. it feels a little more like being home. everyone's shit at driving, though. obviously they have not encountered snow enough times to know how to deal with it.

[Private to Remus]

hey you

i'm not going to be here for christmas, so do you want to do something before i disappear?

mostly because i'm adorable and you're going to want this present.