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I fucked up majorly the other day. Still not sure how to make it right.

i don't know why everyone's complaining about dreams

my dreams are awesome

Citizens (Residents?) of Valarnet:

You guys are awesome.

I don't do well being contained, you might have noticed, and between the cakes, puddings, pies, visits, stuffed animals, strippers and etc, I managed to only be bored roughly 70% of the day in Irvine General, and for that I owe you.

Friday, June 15th, I bought out the Diamond Club at Anaheim. If you don't like baseball, just come drink the beer, which is also free. There's also going to be a surprise after the game which I'm particularly excited about. Trust me, you'll have a good time.

Consider this my thank you for a job well done.

My metro card isn't working for the train today and I got kicked off in Santa Ana. How am I supposed to get to work now? I have a feeling today is going to be another one of those days.

[Edit: 6/6/2012;800AM -- As this was nothing more than a ploy to get a certain person's attention, Obi-Wan blacks out this post.]

Today I can say I entertained the thought: How awesome would it be if this man hit me in the face? And meant it. It would have been awesome.

Oh, you beautiful dreamers and pure hearted souls. Let me tell you about mine.

You know what? Sod that. Let's go to Disneyland before the communists pillage and burn it down. I'm taking you and you and you and you over there.

Saturday, 11am, at the gates. I'll be the one with the mouse ears.

ever say a word over and over until it sounds like a noise?

Ladies and Gentlemen.

Elvis has left the building.

Dating sucks. If things keep going this way, I'm going to have to find a miniature breed of cats small enough to fit in my apartment.

Allowed to go back to work again and not a moment too soon. The shop's a mess. I mean, a real mess. Not an awesome mess.

Hopefully things go back to normal now.

this is my favorite new thing

To answer some of your questions: Yes, I've been grounded. No computer, no phone. He did, however, forget about my old iTouch. (Never throw anything away!)

I can't stand this. I'm not a child. I never got the chance to be a child. He can't protect me from everything.

Sometimes I really feel like he could drive me crazy.

I am in serious trouble, you guys. Daddy's not happy. Doesn't seem to care that someone would be dead if I wasn't around. You might not hear from me for a while. Thank goodness he doesn't know about this network.

Pepper! Emma!

How could you?

so these weird dreams everyone's having

anyone else think it's some sort of conspiracy or something? maybe they're experimenting on us, secret mind control stuff

MARY MOTHER OF GOD I FINALLY GOT TO TAKE A SHOWER TODAY AND IT WAS FUCKING GLORIOUS.

I don't care if you had sex while eating a cheeseburger on the back of a fucking unicorn, you could not possibly feel better than I do right fucking now.

I don't know if anybody here is interested in this or not, but the Wayne Enterprises Grey Flannel Suits have their first game, a doubleheader tomorrow, starting at noon. If you want to come and laugh at a bunch of corporate employees while we try to play a game of ball, twice, we'll be playing on the field at Wayne Park, with a full concession stand, proceeds going to charity.

Against all sound advice, and sanity, I will be catching. Yes, I am scared too. So come on out to see me break my jaw again!

To embarrass Marian.

( Read more... )

Never go mountain climbing alone.

I havn't been in town that long and what time I've spent here has mostly been spent in training, but hi everyone! I'm Ty Lee.

My friend Jubilee is around here somewhere.

*waves*

Hi Jubes!

I just thought I'd introduce myself!

i wish it were christmas

The last week at the bakery has been a godsend, let me tell you. That fridge that was sent over is a lifesaver. I don't have to go to the store every morning before work, I just show up and everything I need for the day is there waiting for me to be put away. The internet has blessed me. Thank you, internet.

My son just told me that he got an internship from a man on valarnet. I don't usually make it a point to post on this thing, but I'm not sure how I feel about this. Who knows what kind of crazy person this is? What if my youngest son shows up to this "internship" and never comes back home?

Valarnet, I do not trust your shenanigans. Ronald Weasley is officially grounded, valarnet stalker person. I can do that because he still lives at home.

"Love isn't finding a perfect person. It's seeing an imperfect person perfectly." - Sam Keen

I am disappoint

No one ever dreams of me.

If I hear one more damn person talking about their dreams I'm going to likely scream and wake the neighbors who will call 911 and tell them that the tiny, angry man is having a seizure.

You would think everyone was rehearsing Hamlet, Act 3.

So, I called the mole lady Nurse Hatchet, and she's surprisingly upset with me. Since my girlfriend's downstairs working (my girlfriend is awesome by the way, seriously, yours isn't as good, just accept it) I've got to come up with a way to pass the time, since now Hatchet is glaring at me and won't talk to me.

SO. Uncle Tony is going to help you fuckers out. Sounds great, right?

Treat this like an advice column. Ask me a question, and I'll try to help you through your life's problems and bullshit like that.

And I swear to God, if someone sends me strippers again I'm going to return the favor. With a male stripper.

A bear stripper. An old bear stripper. Unless you're into that kind of thing, which is okay, not judging, but then you get like, an old lady. I don't know, just don't send strippers seriously.

Five minutes. I left five minutes late and hit a wall of traffic that you could see from outer space.

But hey, its Friday night and what could be better then playing Angry Birds on your phone while inching slowly but surely up the 91 to your final destination of Gypsum Canyon Road?

10 more miles.

God

Hello, network. Entertain me.

I'm just going to take this moment to lay a couple of rumors to rest here regarding the storyline involving my sexuality. I would like to maintain that I have never, ever, in my life stated a gender preference, though there are some of you I would not touch with a ten foot pole, particularly if you're family, under eighteen, really, really boring, or a friend.

At the moment, I am currently enjoying the hetero side of my sexuality, which I see as kind of on a spectrum. Sometimes you just like the person, which sounds horribly deep for me, so let's change that to body.

Just before the debates start, although it's been at least a week since I was on TV...

Also, on a totally unrelated note, I need to make a damn convincing apology for something major that I fucked up on a few years back. Anyone have ANY ideas there?

Two days off in a row. Think I'll spend the sleeping.

a drunk guy passed out on in front of my door last night

what do i do with him? he's making me late for work and kicking him hasn't done anything

In two weeks I've gone from living in a box--essentially--to living in a house, to having a roommate. I mean, she's 85, but still. It's good for a man to have someone to look after, though I let her pretend she's looking after me. Perhaps she is. It's certainly keeping me in check. I really was a good boy at some point in my life, you know.

Lost almost a stone with the illness. Makes my body feel fragile strange. What the heck--fragile. I feel old. Older than Mrs. Higgins, here. Hopefully the weight comes back soon.

But I did accidentally quit smoking. It's difficult to keep that up when you can't breathe. It seems to be sticking, too.

Bread fell on the ground and landed on the buttered side. So now it doesn't really matter anymore that it was buttered on the wrong side. At the same time I remembered that I've run out of tea. And the elderly lady who wanted to welcome me to the neighbourhood with a box of macaroons collapsed on my doorstep and died before the ambulance arrived. What made it worse was that her skirt rode up when she fell, revealing those cotton granny-panties for all the world to see.

Covered her with my jacket because it was kind of disturbing.

Now. How do I get dead elderly lady smell out of my jacket? Already washed it three times and it still smells weird.

I think I want to try skydiving. Is that crazy?

( who you gonna call? )

In six hours I'll finally be able to escape hillybilly high school. Social events and team meetings are not my thing, especially when they are rationing the alcohol.

How the hell am I supposed to tolerate overly perky people without alcohol? Even in Texas, slapping would be assault. Maybe it's different it you wave a gun around first, Texans love guns, yeah?

Haymitch, did you win or do I need to bring you enough tequila to supply the Mexican Drug Cartel? Missed the race.

i'm boooooooooorrrrred

somebody needs to rob a bank or blow something up or throw a party or something

blow up a bank robbery during a party?

i like when things blow up

( better than gravity defying magic cat )

everyone keeps talking about their dreams

i think it's aliens

Blood, ketchup, hot sauce? Does it frakking matter? They all stain the same way.

Sorry I disappeared. I've been away for a while. I was busy with some piloting work and it ended up they were filming in another country. I got the call late in the evening and didn't have time to let anyone know. I had to hop a plane really early in the morning. Had a neighbor watching the place and taking care of the little monster.

Ended up that the previous pilot backed out for health reasons. It was really good pay and an assistant on set recommended me to the director and a producer. I guess I lucked out.

I'm back subbing an astronomy class at a local community college for a couple of days. It's good to be home.

Looks like there's some strange things that have been happening?

I guess that means things are normal. For here, anyway.

Every time we talk about Jon I feel like our marriage is falling to pieces and I just I need a drink.

There was a clockwork man in my dream. I was being attacked by all sorts of twisted things as I was trying to put him back together.

There was some sort of war or competition between him and a dormouse. Then the Train came and killed them both.

I'm a little perplexed. What does it mean when you dream about invading Austria? By yourself.

Anyone have any idea where you can find palladium that won't have you wind up on a government watch list or something?

Nevermind, I'll figure it out.

one of my students said i should make a web page

i tried but it asked me all these code thingies and i gave up because it was stupid and not doing what i wanted

help??