Network

My first match in the Buzzsaw League is tonight! I'm so nervous! But thanks to warp_speed and littlegreengirl I'm sure it will be fine.

You can tune in live on the internet, and I think there's a pay per view event for it, too! Faiza and her robot, Excalibur!

It's 8pm and I'm still at the office. I have next to a million things to get done before the weekend and all I can do is stare at this stupid network.

This is a pretty interesting network, but the amount of information some of you leave open to the public is disturbing. What you put on the internet is forever. Even if you delete it there are ways to recover it. I'm looking at you littlegreengirl and those topless photos.

Its not even that hard to trace your physical location at the time of posting. There's even an app out there that can collate that information into a visual map. It doesn't even have to be a clever creep to stalk you and use information gleaned from what you post against you. You'll have to meet me in person to get my real name.

( A warning beneath the cut )

Right. Social Media. Soooooooocial media.

Am I doing it right? Whatever. I'm Tony Stark, and now that that's out of the way, let's all get to know each other.

Get to the Hard Rock in an hour. I'm buying all night.

In the interest of oversharing, which seems to be a trend amongst you people, guess where I spent last night?

Before I explain what my problem is, and why I freaked out when I got up this morning, I've got to give you a little background here. See, the last eighteen months of my life has been a fucked up cesspool of my own making. I ran away for really stupid reasons when I was seventeen and thought that I knew everything, and I haven't even had the guts to have a conversation with my godfather about it once. In fact, we haven't spoken since the night I stalked out of Oliver's place, promising him that I'd never come back. That's something that's been on my mind with going back to archery, since obviously, you don't get taught by Oliver Fucking Queen and EVER set foot on a range without him in the back of your head.

Obviously, we know I've been kind of obsessed lately, mostly since I miss the guy, and I could really use him to get me back from my stupid ass injury, but well, last night was the first dream I've ever had about him.

So. in this dream, I was standing outside some kind of government building with a few other people, and dressed completely...weirdly. Then this massive guy up at a podium said something about me, and the two people I was with, were heroes and inducted into the league.

A bunch of cameras went off and the whole thing was really freaking surreal, until Oliver appeared right next to me and started shaking my hand and saying something about how proud he was of me. Did I mention Ol was wearing a really fucked up version of his typical archery kit? For fuck's sake, he was even wearing a goddamned Robin Hood hat. And then, I don't know. In the dream I was incredibly happy, and, well, satisfied with how things had turned out and that Oliver had actually acknowledged me as being his equal.

It felt...Right somehow. Like the rightness I've been needing for the longest time.

I miss him . And the dream just made it worse. I think I'm taking Wrex up on his suggestion of a couple laps in the pool. See if having some kind of focus can make the bad thoughts go away.

Fuck, my life.

Edit: I can't deal with this shit. Anybody willing to do a booze run for someone who's legal in Canada and Europe?

Things are commencing nicely in my super awesome teen rebellion revenge plan, let me tell you, Valarnet. I've found a place where I can learn not to look like an asshole on a horse, or fall off of one either, and where I can negotiate with the methods of payment I use.

The shoulder's also getting better, probably because what with the intro lessons I've been giving since I came on at the ranch, I've spent a lot of time walking the kids through the basics, demonstrating those basics, and practicing the little piece by piece bits literally piece by piece.

I'm not going to lie and say it's not frustrating when I know I can do better, but given what I'm coming back on to the scene from, it's not something I can rush with pacing either. At least it's finally only frustrating because I want to get back into doing things the right way, and not because I want to prove somebody wrong. It doesn't do a lot for helping me with letting go of all the other feelings, but at least, archery wise, I'm back down to a level where I can turn off the petty little voice inside my head and focus on loving what I do.

On the Hot Topic front, my hours have been cut enough with the new job that my co-workers are almost tolerable now. Cullen, who is seriously the sweetest kid ever, and no I don't know her real name, was actually so surprised and happy that we got a shift together the other night that I got a hug when I came in, and we had a decent evening straightening out the Tshirt bin without too many crazy interruptions. Apparently the mall shoplifting string continues but since I'm not dealing with it every day, it doesn't even bug me anymore.

So right now, right now, stuff is...decent. I need to deal with posting about the rest to see if they help me out but I should be getting sleep instead of confronting my problems, right?

http://t.co/bKLuGhkw

Enjoy!

My colleagues, in a well intentioned bid to improve my public image on campus, and to allow me to to spread our organization's objective across a greater audience, have convinced me that I might do well with taking on another blog here where I might connect with others and encourage them to pass the message on.

This said, Now that Chavez week celebrations are a thing of the past, and the numbers coming in look better than they did a week ago last year, our newest battle will began with plans for occupying May Day.

I understand, I do that not everyone who claims to care about the issues affecting the greater problems of the 99% movement is able to join us for our usual work, or sleeping in the park to make a point, but if on this one day, again, May First, so you will have almost a month to plan these things, you put off buying something for one day, you stay home from work, and you refuse to stimulate the economy for even 24 hours, you will be doing something great, something better, and raising awareness of everything that's wrong in the world today.

I don't ask that you come to our rallies or a meeting (conference room at the ABC Cafe, Monday and Thursday evenings though someone is usually there at any time), or risk arrest yourself, but I do ask, I beg, that you consider this step, this one small step, toward the right direction.

Together we are far more powerful than any official in government would have us think. If you would like to join us, please, please do it now. The time is more crucial than ever.

Every time someone makes a post here, I feel ten years older.

Apparently this quiz will tell you all my problems and then yours too. What's wrong with YOU people today?

Roy Harper took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test! "Has too much built-up excitement which is ready to..." Click here to read the rest of the results.

Right. So.

Hello there. I'm Rory. Pleasure to meet you all, and such.

I don't make my kids do anything that I'm not willing to do, so Rapunzel's teaching me to paint.

It's not working so well. I feel like I have clumsy man hands.

Probably because I do.

It's supposed to help with inner peace and expression and maybe even anger management. I'm not sure that last part is working, I keep wanting to shove the paintbrush through the canvas and then beat the canvas and easel into the floor.

But that would make Zel cry, and no one wants that.

( just watch this. )

I've suddenly got holiday dinner plans. Anybody want to come help me set up, you're welcome. This is going to be the best damned Easter EVER.

YOU might be that person!

Do you like cats? Do you like Newport Beach?

More importantly, do you like MONEY?

Feanor is old and tired and hates driving his car. It's bad when he drives his car, he wishes his car was a horse, but his car doesn't listen when he talks, and the wheel doesn't work at all like he imagines reigns on a horse would. Also, you can't ride on top of a car, it just doesn't work like that. Feanor was sad when he learned that.

Maybe Feanor should design a car that works like a horse!

Maybe Feanor should stop talking about himself in the third person.

So... right! I need a person. This person would do things like buy my groceries for me, pick up dry cleaning and gyros and other things like this sort of thing. It's errand running, but you get to also stick around if you want, as long as you don't mind cats. The cats are staying and you have to deal with them.

It would be an extra plus if this person knew how to reheat gyros that are frozen, and knew how to play World of Warcraft, because sometimes I just really need someone to cut gems for me while I'm cutting gems in that other game.

The pay is good, because even Feanor knows that Feanor is hard to put up with.

Post here!

The bad part about inviting a guy back to your place is all the cleaning and scrubbing you have to do afterwards.

My entire apartment smells like 409 now, thank goodness it's almost lemony fresh.

I might have time to do a round of gun cleaning before meeting up with someone to watch hockey tonight.

Any other gun enthusiasts out there? You wouldn't believe the work it took to get my collection over here in one piece.

A Good Investment: Wet Ones, or any brand of effective sanitary wipe. My favorite use is to thoroughly wipe the library keyboard before use. A lot of weirdos come here to use these things.

But the weirdo before me was using this site. I poked around it for a while. A lot of you are very strange. I felt right at home.

Yesterday, I had the most brilliant and wonderful revenge plan in the entire fucking world, or at least the West Kingdom and Caid combined and had gotten as far as plotting out the details, looking up what I would need and shooting off an email to our local captain, detailing the whole entire plan, well, not the vengeance parts of it, I don't think that the SCA was ever meant to be about enacting petty revenge, as good as it would feel based on how pissed off my life's made me this week, but everything else involved here, and about as soon as I'd hit send, I realized that I'd let emotion get the better of me yet again.

As much as I still like the plan for all the other things that it entails, and all the sappy ways it's going to make me a better person or whatever, the fact that I came up with it based on my need to deliver a big fuck you to someone in my past is pretty fucking horrible. In the long run, really, what does hatching an epic plot that's going to take me at least a year to come close to succeeding in do for me as a person if it's only about the petty vengeance that I tell kids on the street they shouldn't succumb to? What does rubbing my success in someone's face when I can beat him say except "I've been obsessed with you this whole entire time and even though I'm gone, you're still running my life?" or even worse, "please validate and notice me by acknowledging the fact that I'm better than you" when I'm supposed to have left all emotion connected to this person far behind me when I went ahead and picked up my own life?

It says that I'm a lot of things there's a whole lot of ugly labels for, and that those labels are the complete truth is what it says. It says I'm immature, and petty and a lot of other things I don't even want to touch.

And I'm supposed to be the one who's going to be a role model? Jesus Christ, am I fucked up or what?

That said, I actually think my super awesome plan is going to help with about, oh, ninety percent of the issues that I've just realized I have, so I'm still going to go along with the good, humanity developing parts of it. Part one, I can start to handle on my own as I get more practice in, and start dealing with other archers again, but Part two, the one where I expand my skills and develop a new set, I'm going to need some help.

Anybody know of someone who can help me get a good seat on a horse? I can't really afford to go somewhere well known unless you're willing to let me muck out stalls in exchange for teaching me the basics, well besides the hands. The hands, I'm going to have to cover on my own at some point in the future since that's going to be real specific, but other than that, do any horsey people here have suggestions for that?


I'm going to make myself a better person, dammit. You people are gonna help me.

I am in a desperate need for a vacation. Where would you go if money weren't an option?

For the record, everyone's allowed to add on to the list with your own Bullshit You Can Do Without. Participation is a fun thing here. Or some bullshit like that.

1. Motherfucking cat memes. look, Caterday was fun a couple years ago, when all you people were in High School. Time to grow up, get a clue, and leave the shit alone. Those of you who aren't in high school, maybe it's a thing in Italy, or recluse land, but fucking seriously, man. The cats are getting OLD.

2. Running out of vicodin and having to go through the drawn out stupid process of trying to get more. It's not like I pop more than about three a day, and I can go without it without having bad withdrawal, but holy shit, it hurts.

3. The Evil Bitch Therapist's idea of a massage. Where'd you learn that one, lady, Guantanamo? Combine that with the lack of pain meds and you start to get my message pretty clear I think.

4. Shoplifting bastards on my shift. Do you idiots really need a tongue ring badly enough that you have to run off with it when somebody opens the case? And who the fuck steals two bucks worth of hair dye and a living dead doll? Do people actually do shit with those things? How the fuck did you manage to walk out of the store with that while I was on my break? I know my co-workers are idiots and vampires who can't see in the light or some excuse but seriously, HOW?

5. Breaking bowstrings while I'm shooting. Breaking bowstrings that snap against my cheek while I'm shooting. Bitch motherfucking HURTS and now I've got a papercut all on my face. Yeah, that's attractive when you're starting a new job, now isn't it?

6. People calling me an angry bird. It was funny the first ten times, but now it's getting really old, and if I were an angry bird, I'd break your stupid glass houses right now.

7. Email spam from my former godfather's box. I'm not even touching that, but damn it gives me feels, as you people on tumblr say. And I don't do with feels that well.

So go ahead. What's pissing you people off today?

Remember a few weeks ago, my friend Geoff and his crazy friends who he didn't know what to do with? Turns out, he's found out that those people aren't so crazy when they've got a goal and focus and they actually impressed him when they all went out for a wild and crazy golfing weekend.

Turns out the kid he's been so worried about knows a damn sight about golf, and the...course and what you do to survive in the sandtraps and he taught them all a lot. He said he was surprised to be honest, but was also really impressed too.

Geoff's also made some better friends with one of the saner people in the gang and they had a good talk one night about a lot of shit that's probably gonna bring them closer together, and the situation's getting actually hopeful instead of kind of crazy and fucked up instead.

So they're maybe proving Geoff's worst fears are wrong, and just in case, he's meeting people who are gonna back him up and they've got a project going to do amazing things and it's getting pretty comfortable, like somehow Geoff and all his friends are meant to work together. How the hell that's happened, I don't know, but I get the impression that he's gonna take it as a gift instead of some kind of curse or thing that he's dreading.

All is well that's going well with that I guess. Thanks for following my drama around this thing, we both appreciate it a lot.

Now I'm grabbing a third shower and then going to crash. Crazy weekend on my own part too, but one that's probably worth it in the end.

Edit: you people like cat pictures? I've got a cat picture like my weekend:

( Read more... )

So, I have this friend. She is not a hypothetical person, she is not a stand-in for me. We've been friends since college. She lives in Oregon so she doesn't use this network. Well, she recently got engaged and they visited last week. I absolutely detested the guy. He's crude, he can't carry a conversation, pretty sure he can't get a credit card....

I'm making a long story very short, but I may have gone to far in telling her what I thought of him. Now she's mad at me. I'm willing to admit that I didn't hold back, but she did ask for my opinion. I gave it. The guy is a loser. I don't want my friend to marry a loser. Considering what I do for a living, I thought my opinion would matter more to her. For some reason, she's choosing him over me. I know it's because she thinks she's in love with him, but love only gets you so far. One day, I can see her waking up beside this guy and realizing she's made a huge mistake.

This... sucks.

To discourage complacency, all water dishes have been replaced with cat food dishes, and all cat food dishes have been replaced with water dishes.

Gyros have been replaced with hot pastrami sandwiches.

My Little Ponies have been replaced with Avatar: The Last Airbender (how do these people tell eachother to get bent? Would getting bent involve fire, water, earth, and air in interesting places?)

Beers have been replaced by fizzy pretentious water from France.

Proceed.

Stupid!


Stupid

Stupid


STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!!1111!!!!!!!

Oh, fantastic! This is very exciting. I really like meeting new people, but it can sometimes be difficult. Let's just say I'd rather not meet a single one of you at work.

My name is Jean. Hello!

You know what is absolutely painful? Discovering, after the shops closed that you're out of coffee.

So this is what people in Orange County do, I guess. They post to this network thing?

Hi, I'm new in town. You can call me Dom. I'm just off the plane and pretty disoriented, so can someone direct me to A: A place to get drunk, B: A place to buy good weaponry and C: A place that has good coffee and eggs.

I don't even mind if A and C are the same establishment, but of course if you can do all 3 in the same place, that would be some kind of holy grail of awesome.

And probably an accident waiting to happen.

Violating work's printing policy to make handouts for my mock prosecution this morning is fun. So is stealing office supplies. ...All of which is going to haunt me when I'm on the bar. In my defense, it's a great pen, and I've fetched enough coffee and tea, and I'm unpaid...

The prosecution side I've been preparing sees the problems here and wants to hit me. But Bar Hopping! Irresponsible! Sebastian who witnesses midget fights in between reviewing cases finds the whole thing is hilarious.

Go figure, I suppose?

Since we're on the subject of polling, and sharing questions and bonding through it or whatever shit here, I've got a question for YOU, network. Say you get arrested for some stupid petty crime, like a brawl gone out of hand, or drunk and disorderly or whatever conduct people think means you're unsafe, who's the friend you'd call to bail you out? Who's the friend who'd actually be sitting in jail next to you and grinning?

In other general questions, is what I'm pretty sure constitutes a form of torture a decent motive or defense for murdering your sadistic bitch of a PT?

...but this had me laughing. And everyone needs a good laugh, now and again. You know, before one finds themselves lost out in the wilderness with a bear gnawing on their skull, like it's made out of butterscotch candies.

Fair warning: This is likely not work-safe, due to language. Like you couldn't tell just from glancing at it, straight away. So put on your snuggie, curl up with a cup of tea in the comfort of your own homes, and enjoy!

( Vid under here! )

Hopefully it shows, or I've fouled up the interwebs, entirely.

( Read more... )

It's been coming to my attention that I need a wardrobe upgrade. Work standard's pretty boring and I don't think it's gonna change, but far as casual, I'm thinking ripped jeans and tshirts don't work when you're at the bar and over thirty.

The thing is, I have absolutely no idea how to dress myself when I'm not in my "uniform" and lab shit. Anybody got suggestions for a poor slob who wants to look like an adult but not a dressed up monkey?

Also, kids? remember when you want to murder someone not to use a real distinctive samurai sword to do that. Cops are on your trail now, honey. Made for a good story though.

As it seems the past few days have been dedicated to what can only be described as "hypothetical" questioning, I am now going to attempt to steer the community in a different direction. Polling.

How old is the average poster here? If you feel uncomfortable divulging your age, you may pick a range.

Tens of thousands of years ago, Man hit Man with rock. He also hit Man with sharp stick, and then spears. Eventually Man figured how to throw rock, and throw stick. And then came the sling and bow, with which Man could throw rock and stick much harder, faster and farther. Man also sharpened rock, for stabbing.

This was how it was for millenia. Man would sometimes build devices for throwing much larger rocks and spears, and sharpened metal, but it was all the same principle. Then Man developed gunpowder. He put a rock in a tube and propelled the rock by a contained explosian. There was also the bomb, which was an exploding rock. Over the following centuries, Man refined this, making the rocks go faster and be deadlier, but it was still a rock shot from a tube.

Man turned the tube around, and put a rock at the end, and made missiles and rockets. Nuclear bombs are rocks being split at a sub-atomic level. Lasers are rocks focusing light. Online research shows me experimental weapons. A railgun propells a rock with magnets. An asteroid as a weapon is basically rock falls, everyone dies.

But in the end, it comes down to Man being unable to rise above his primal nature. Man hits Man with rock or stick, and one Man dies, and the cycle continues.

Say you have a friend who's extremely well groomed.

He likes a lot of plants, keeps his place really clean, drives a hybrid car, and has fruit and yogurt in his fridge.

You're pretty much assuming that friend likes guys, aren't you?

I mean would you tell that guy, "I think you like guys", or would you just never say anything?

This is entering into that mystical category of ariing other people's personal problems online because I've honestly got no idea what to do to help some of them out and I dunno, I appreciate a lot of perspectives to keep me fresh or whatever you want to call it, so...We'll go with that.

There's a friend of mine from the pre-med days, Geoff. We still keep in touch despite the fact he's out in fuck knows where, doing fuck knows what now, and anyway, that doesn't really matter. What matters is, he's establishing himself in a new town, meeting the people and digging himself out of a rut, and he's made a lot of amazing friends and likes being around them when he's not working.

But, the thing is, my friend, Geoff, has started to get the idea that some of his friends are kind of leading him places he's not really sure he wants to be going. Don't get me wrong, he thinks they're amazing, even if he doesn't get their obsession with ponies fucking, but he's just a little worried about, you know, participating in some of the antics. Since it can get everybody into more trouble, and all.

And, well, he's like me, he's a doctor and all, and older than the ringleader of the little antics, bless his heart, and isn't sure if he should be playing along because his job is kind of high stress, or if he ought to try controlling his friends or what.

And there's this amazing girl that my friend's met, and he's been getting the idea she wouldn't really approve of all of this....carousing that's going around and...

Anyway. My friend doesn't want to lose any of his friends, but he doesn't want to end up with them cut open on his ER table, or the side of a ditch either. Or to be there with them.

So, uh, what do I tell the guy?

Broadcasting this here so that I've got an audience who'll be witnesses since I've got the feeling it's all going south soon. James Whatever Your Middle Name Is Kirk, you had better to GOD be resting and taking care of yourself, and anybody tells me otherwise, I'm gonna hunt you down at Mad Dogs and come after you. Everybody else? If you make sure he's doing it, you'll have my thanks.

Something tells me that the kid needs watching, and I'm not about to let my work go and get ruined or give him an infection, specially when I'm not exactly used to extracting bullets that are keeping somebody alive.

After the midget bar fight, what in the hell did I just type, but swear on a stack of bibles that it's actually TRUE, we wound up somehow at Scotty's and the morning after getting drunk...best hangover of my LIFE, I've got to say. I won't post any more about that here just yet, but trust me, it was golden.

Work's in a couple hours, and it's gonna be a long shift. Why'm I suddenly just missing out on all the fun?

Guys, I just had the most amazing week.

I had some incredibly amazing sex, on a blanket under the stars, and found all new and interesting ways to drink wine if you know what I mean.

I got to help a new friend track his car down, I met a crazy lady with a cat, and then I sold a Harley at my shop that should keep me in business for at least a few months. I might even take some of that money and go out to celebrate.

I got in a bar fight with midgets that looked like some sort of re-enactment of the battle in those walking movies. A friend of mine got shot, which was pretty exciting! He's fine, of course, and needs lots of special care, if you know what I mean.

I finally got to see that man Loki's show last week, which was also amazing. I'm pretty sure I saw Orb in the audience, too, so really the only thing that would make this week any better is if I won a million dollars and bought a ship.

Thanks so much to everyone looking out for the dog and me. She should be able to come home tomorrow. She's technically not supposed to be here, as I found out, but since she's going to need special meds for a while, I'm going to keep her here until she's a little stronger, probably a week or so, and then, thanks to a really kind offer, she'll be going to stay at a ranch for a while, until I can finalize a new place for her.

The vet thought it was better if she's somewhere quiet to rest at first, but then, well, it'd be better if she has somewhere that she can be looked after, at least until I'm down to just a couple classes for spring and summer and can spend more time with her.

So everything is going really well today. She's getting chipped before I bring her home tomorrow, and I've got a collar and a leash that probably should fit her, and I'm hoping I can afford all of this with the monthly payout from my father's trust, but if not, they'll work on installment I've been told.

...Given where I found her, I think I'm going to call her Alibi.

So this is normality, chit chat on a boardwhatsit like this trying to make internet friends?

Hi possible crazy people, lets meet up and have coffees?

Whatever, I'm Tahiri. I don't plan to care and share. I'll probably occasionally speak up when people talk about stuff that isn't oversharing to a creepy degree but you all seem to really enjoy that.

[Jacen]

How is it I'm still on your couch?

It is a strange practice writing on a network where I do not know most of the people. At least on Facebook, I know who is reading the words I throw into the ether. Most of those people are interested in what I have to say, understand my humor, and are teachers or students. Here, I am not entirely sure of the demographics that make up the user-base and that makes it unnerving. But I must soldier on. Or quickly delete my account, I suppose.

My name is Spock. I look forward to making your acquaintances.

So I watched Scotty rip an engine out of a hybrid, stick it in a robot, make it work, and then put it back. And make the hybrid run even better. I mean, I can rip an engine out and put it back and make it work, mostly, but to repurpose something like that? I can’t do that. But this man could, and he did.

And it gave me an idea. Maybe it’ll give me purpose, if he’s willing. And my idea is insane enough he just might agree. We’ll need others. A pilot at least.

Yeah, I think we can do this. I just need to be very convincing.

Pavel's at home and doing alright.

I made him a little bed in the living room so I can keep an eye on him and moved all the plants to the kitchen counters.

They look like my mother's old gardens now instead of kitchen counters, but that's alright.

How do people actually live in this place? I haven't been in Orange County a year and I'm already bored. I guess that's what you get when you have Disneyland right down the street. Where is the action?

I was going through all of my notes and things, preparing for my lectures next week, and I guess I wasn't really paying attention like I should have been. Normally I like to go out and do this while grabbing some coffee somewhere, and Pavel is in his cage. I forget how zoned in I can get.

He was running around. I like to let him out of his cage whenever I'm home, and usually I keep an eye on him. He loves to cause trouble - he's a ferret - but it's usually never that bad. Knocking things on the floor over a few times, stuff like that.

He knocked over one of my plant stands and tasted some of the leaves. I really don't know if he ate them or just took a nip and a lick to see what it was, but... the plant is a mess, I can't tell for sure, and he's really not acting himself now.

I don't know if it's because I scolded him and locked him up after that, but he's really been down. I might have to take him to the vet, I really don't know what to do.

Poor Pavel. :(

I'm so careful about my plants, too, I try to keep any plants I'm not sure about away from him. And he isn't usually the eat leafy greens type, either. I'm probably worrying over nothing...

Someone at my ranch thought it was a good idea for me to sign up for this ... whatever it is. I feel like you people are all tiny people sitting inside my computer than real, actual people.

That makes me sound old.

My kids broke into my office. They played around with this thing's settings. Now I'm staring at baby colors and ducks.

I do not like baby colors and ducks.

I can't figure out how to get these %#@$ing ducks off my ... thing. Blog? It's called a blog, right? Right.

I'm grumpy and I need a drink. They're laughing at me now. Let's see how much they're laughing when I make them peel potatoes for dinner tonight.

I had a good weekend. Made a couple friends, wrecked a bar. Got dumped. Or maybe I dumped her. It was sort of a mutual thing. With flying objects and broken glass. I've had better breakups. parking_brake of all people invited me into coffee. And then we went to a bar.

Its this place called Mad Dogs and Englishmen. It looks like someone put up some wood and opened a bar inside and then vomited all over the floor, but the whiskey is top notch and the bartender has a working flintlock.

So I was having a drinking contest with this Scottish dude and losing miserably, and I had the most perfect idea.

There was this big guy. Lets call him cupcake. Well cupcake has a mean right hook. Next thing you know, parking_brake was going all Jackie Chan on everyone, warp_speed was hitting things with abandon, and there were flying midgets.

This bar..this bar is best bar.

Has hot waitresses too!