InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "We got movie sign!"

cupidsnotblind (cupidsnotblind) wrote in valarnet,
@ 2012-07-26 14:51:00

Entry tags:

emma frost (white queen), emma woodhouse, kathryn janeway, montgomery scott, roy harper (red arrow) ii

Not looking for advice... and yet...
So, I have this friend. She is not a hypothetical person, she is not a stand-in for me. We've been friends since college. She lives in Oregon so she doesn't use this network. Well, she recently got engaged and they visited last week. I absolutely detested the guy. He's crude, he can't carry a conversation, pretty sure he can't get a credit card....

I'm making a long story very short, but I may have gone to far in telling her what I thought of him. Now she's mad at me. I'm willing to admit that I didn't hold back, but she did ask for my opinion. I gave it. The guy is a loser. I don't want my friend to marry a loser. Considering what I do for a living, I thought my opinion would matter more to her. For some reason, she's choosing him over me. I know it's because she thinks she's in love with him, but love only gets you so far. One day, I can see her waking up beside this guy and realizing she's made a huge mistake.

This... sucks.

(Post a new comment)

warp_speed
2012-03-27 12:18 am UTC (link)

Well, as much as I sometimes lack tact and prefer the blunt approach?

There's being an arse in general, and then there's just being a arse directly to someone's face. Maybe you should try simply being an arse over the internet, lassie! Sometimes people take that better, than in person. Decline to comment and say it in e-mail.

Ultimately, though, it's not you that has to wake up with the bastard, so it's on her and not you. ~~This is also known as the "none of my bloody business what you do" code of friendship. You keep more friends, that way.~~

Otherwise:

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	cupidsnotblind 2012-03-27 12:37 pm UTC (link)
	Well, there's no going back. What's said is said. Now I just have to wait it out while she comes to her senses. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

warp_speed
2012-03-27 05:41 pm UTC (link)

The lass coming to her senses isn't really up to you, either. You can't make decisions for other people, without them wanting to make the decisions, themselves. That includes that M word that involves rings and licenses and other things, that friends and family often can't prevent. Simply have to live with it and tolerate it.

Simply put: It's likely better to make nice again, if possible. It's not worth the further trouble, stirring things up with a friend like that.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	cupidsnotblind 2012-03-27 05:50 pm UTC (link)
	~~You, sir, are getting a little too close to telling me what to do.~~ ~~Thanks for the advice.~~ I'll consider that. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	warp_speed 2012-03-27 09:23 pm UTC (link)
	~~Nope, merely an opinion.~~ ~~If you didn't want harsh truths, don't go looking for advice on the net. If you can't dish it out as well as take it, I mean.~~ Best of luck to you, lass! (Reply to this) (Parent)

imnosidekick
2012-03-27 12:23 am UTC (link)

Hell, I'm known for being blunt to people's faces and I kind of lost my own best friend when I decided to tell him exactly what I thought of his decisions and his life. Didn't go too well, all things considered. Now I'm out a room-mate and all.

I can't say that it stopped me saying what I wanted to say though. Turns out I'm kind of an outspoken ass that way.

I guess I'd say wait for the day she realizes it, and be the first to say I told you so. It's not exactly nice, but then again, it's satisfying.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	cupidsnotblind 2012-03-27 12:39 pm UTC (link)
	She's knows I don't hold back. ~~I mean, people actually pay me not to hold back.~~ I thought that's what she was asking for. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	imnosidekick 2012-03-27 12:52 pm UTC (link)
	People can be bitches like that. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	cupidsnotblind 2012-03-27 03:59 pm UTC (link)
	What ever became of your friend, if you don't mind my asking. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	white_diamonds 2012-03-27 01:44 pm UTC (link)
	It sounds like this is more her loss than yours. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	cupidsnotblind 2012-03-27 04:00 pm UTC (link)
	I'm not at the point of saying things like that, yet. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	white_diamonds 2012-03-28 01:42 pm UTC (link)
	If she's made a choice and it's not you, you've nothing to do but wait and see. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	kathryn_janeway 2012-03-29 08:04 am UTC (link)
	Personally, I'd like to hear that I was being an idiot. I hope she realizes that you do mean well with what you said, that you only want the best for her. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	cupidsnotblind 2012-03-29 02:24 pm UTC (link)
	Thank you. How do we improve ourselves if there's no one to tell us what needs working on? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kathryn_janeway 2012-03-30 07:16 am UTC (link)
	Exactly and if someone doesn't think they don't need improving then they definitely need it in my experience. I'm glad you at least see the sense of it. (Reply to this) (Parent)