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Facts About Spiders:

1. The red widow does not actually cannibalize her mates like the black widow counterpart - instead, the male keeps force feeding himself into her mandibles even if she spits him out.

2. Many spiders get their food exclusively by stealing from other spider webs.

3. Some spiders also make decoys of themselves to confuse predators.

4. There was this one time a jumping spider was sent into space to see if it could still make webs in low gravity. It adapted.

5. Then there was this other time a monstrous spider came to the OC, is everyone else seeing that? Everyone is, right? This isn't just me?

I had the most amazing dream last night. I would have thought it was just a normal dream if D and his fucking pets didn't feature in it and if I didn't wake up with that feeling you get after them. But at least one version of me has now had a woman actually say "I was born into this world to pleasure you" to me.

And then I woke up with a fucking giant spider destroying the county. This is exactly the kind of shit D would pull. I bet he's behind this somehow. Thanks, Orange County.

... So. Giant spiders rampaging around in California.

Fuck yes. I was born for shit like this. There could be literally no better way to finish finals and welcome in Father's Day weekend with getting to kick giant arachnid ass. Let me at 'em.

[Filtered to Jack and Wendy]

I know we were supposed to have an after finals roommate celebration thingy planned, but I'ma raincheck until Charlotte is dead.

I wish that giant spider didn't mean don the armor and run into the fray, but I can't seem to help it. It's like I'm drawn to danger. Guess it's a Grey Warden thing. This thing is just a little bigger than the giant spiders we encountered in Thedes, but I think we can give it our all.

If I could stop dreaming about my own death, that would be ideal.

Has it even been a month since the vampires? Someone knows how to handle this, right? I doubt my bow and arrows would do much damage against this thing so I'm just going to wait it out at the shelter. If anyone needs a place to stay, you're more than welcome at the shelter too.

I'm debating on whether or not I can actually be of any help this time around. I don't really have any spells that can contain a creature of that size. I can heal, if anyone needs medical aid though and I guess if anyone who wants to try and fight it wants a quick ride, I can open a portal. Other than that, I think my magic is better suited for fighting things closer to my own size.