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The only difference between yesterday and today is that now I can legally do some of the things I've been doing for ages. Being eighteen is weird.

Why am I so afraid to lose you, when you're not even mine? And probably never will be?

I'm so depressing sometimes, ugh..

I need people to talk to about... Emotions.

Hospitals are dreadfully boring places to spend one's time. Waiting rooms after being removed from our friends' room are doubly so. They are rooms for waiting for answers which are not readily available when one isn't related by blood (and how would they know?) to the person which they are visiting. It becomes very frustrating. And boring. To merely have to wait.

This is true until the very moment in which they are not.

I have this to say about modern medicine: They have come a long way since Asclepius and his snakes. Relying on dreams and visions has become of thing of the long ago past in order to make room for textbooks and gross anatomy. I cannot tell you which approach I find more reliable after seeing what I've seen and hearing what I've heard.

But I could certainly tell you which I find to be more entertaining.
And there are other, smaller, better rooms in which to wait for unforthcoming news. Places with coffee pots.


...Courfeyrac, pass me that mug, won't you?

Now I know the fever and coughing is catching up with me. I dreamed last night about going to a formal ball. Wearing a formal gown and everything. I think I even had a tiara. Ugh.

This is so ridiculous. I'm not that girl. That girl is someone completely different.

Just more proof that these dreams are just... insanity.

I think it's time for me to go to the hospital. I think I need a ride.

My lips aren't supposed to be purple, are they?

Lily and I have developed an inhaler that can help to relieve the difficulty breathing that comes along with the "Blue Flu." It will not cure the disease, it only helps to make it easier for those afflicted to breathe.

For the moment, one inhaler is being made available to anyone afflicted for a nominal fee. If you have trouble paying what my company is asking, comment below, and I will make sure you get the medicine you need at a price you can afford.

So, uh. Considering 1) creepy plague and 2) both Enjolras and I sound like we're dying of consumption -- the UCLA food drive is, unfortunately, cancelled. Hopefully we can manage it next week if we're doing better.

(Besides, it'd be a bit silly to pass out possibly-infected food, wouldn't it?)

Anyway I feel a bit like crap, so I'm gonna keep this short. Spread the word, if you intended to help.

The media really should learn to verify.

>>Got your note. I can't...
>>I should but I just...
>>Too much...

Just received word that they're declaring an epidemic, and quarantine procedures will begin immediately for certain areas. I pray everyone is with their families.

Seiya keeps trying to set me up with random girls. This can only end in disaster.

Has anyone here ever killed someone before? A friend?


It's a matter of waiting until he dies, but watching Joly, every day, hearing him breathe like that, when he's the one of us who has always been so easily sick and knowing not only that I've put him there, that I've sentenced him to die as easily as if I'd held a gun to his head is something for which I don't think there are any words. He's going to die, and then the others are going to get sick and I am going to kill them too, and to make matters so much worse, they're putting things into quarantine and he cannot even have his L'agile or 'Chetta with him to give him any comfort.

I put him in this place. I put him here by letting him come to help me, and to see me here, and I'm the reason he's going to die. I don't have reservations for myself. Well, I'm afraid to die, but if I must, I must, and I only hope I've done some good in the world, somewhere along the way.

I accept my own mortality. What I don't accept is mortality for my friends, and myself being the cause. I'm the one who is responsible for all of this. I'm the one who should be saving them. Not doing this. Never this.



I don't know what to do.

Those inhalers are like rainbows and sunshine and oh, I want to marry one.

They let me have my laptop here so I don't have to feel totally alone. And I'm sleeping pretty okay even though my hospital roommate snores.

With this virus being declared a epidemic, my mother has been calling me to make sure I haven't come down with it. She said both her and my father are alright, but I think I may go over there to check on them just to make sure. I don't think that my mother would lie to me, but until I see it for myself I won't stop worrying about them.

I've got to get out of this place. My "parents" and fake brother might think they can make me live here til I'm eighteen, but they have no right to make me die here too.

Cause let's face it, those inhaler things help a lot but we're still dying and it's time to go along with the program there. I'm not going to fight a stupid fight, I'll tell you that.

I'm getting out. I'm getting fucking out somehow, even if it's just to the edge of the property and I'm going as soon as somebody's not watching. They're quarantining, there's a lot going on and there's a window in the bathroom I'm small enough to climb through.

I might not be surviving any of this shit, but I'm sure as hell dying free. Anybody with me?

I have degrees in biology and experience with genetic manipulation. Is there any way I can help?

This year is off to a very interesting start. I moved, and now Scott's sick, but he's bouncing back and forth between doing well and feeling terrible. I'm sure the inhaler is helping, so thank you to the developers of that, again. Since nobody knows what's going on, there's not much point in moving him until his symptoms become life threatening.

I didn't really want the year to start off like this. I could have done with more happiness and less gluing wounds together and coughing. Thank God I'm not sick. Whatever Dr. Faiza gave me must be helping. Once this has all blown over, I hope things will go back to whatever status quo they were at before.

So let me get this straight, there's a plague in Orange County and it's being called an epidemic, but the bus station is still open and letting people in? I picked the best time for a trip to California, didn't I?

Quarantine? You have got to be kidding me.

Sooo.

Not going to my night class then...

Just as well because my brain wouldn't have been there anyway, even for just syllabus handouts. At least this time it's for an actual really good reason.

...Joly? Enj? I uh...lit some candles for you guys. I figure getting God in on this is worth a shot too, right? Not that I think he likes me very much but he has to like you two...

Anyway...