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...I really didn't think I'd ever end up in a tabloid. It's almost funny.

Porn tapes? Really? That I didn't tell you people about? Oh come ON, Rita, do you seriously think that I'd be that quiet about it? The Roy commentary I'm not touching, the blood diamond thing I'm having looked into. Deleon signed under certain conditions that I had set out so this kind of thing wouldn't happen again. My family dragged themselves through the mud of that for two generations, and if that's what selling out made happen again, I'm not gonna be happy.

It's been a really long night, but I just wanted to put that little tidbit out there for you people.

Correct me if I'm wrong but the best part of breakfast is pancakes. I mean you can have them with tons of maple syrup and even fruit! It makes getting up in the morning a little more acceptable. That and a large cup of coffee.

Best way to eat pancakes, go! For the record I'll say the most peculiar combination I've seen is gravy on pancakes.

Seriously, what's wrong with people? I just saw on the news that some lady was arrested for gluing her child to the wall because he wouldn't sit still. It only reinforces my belief that some people shouldn't raise kids.

Though I have to say I'm kind of wondering what she used to successfully glue her child to the wall. That has to be some super glue.

For the record I am done taking suggestions on Halloween costumes. I went to pick up some stuff today so I could begin making my costume and the clerk tried to talk me into a tiny bikini and a pair of sparkly heels. Said he could pass me off as Malibu barbie. Classy. Not the cheesiest pick-up line I heard while there though... The guy that told me to dress up as a vampire so he could stake me or his teeth ached to touch me.

What I really need though is a book on Egyptian Hieroglyphs.

And, naturellement, I have to ask everyone for their best Halloween pick-up lines while we are on the topic too.

Could someone please step outside and tell the garbage truck outside of my office that it's not making enough noise? I still have some hearing left in my right ear.

I have decided to buy my own camera, and start taking professional-type photographs. That being said, all I need now is a professional camera, and some know-how. And someone to convince me not to chuck it against the wall when things don't go my way.

Oh, and some idea where to start looking for a good camera. And someone to show me how to use it. And some extra money to procure one.

Are they still using film for casual shooting, or is everything digital, now-a-days?

ALSO I've decided to dress as a Pirate for Halloween.

I'm kind of surprised that there weren't pictures of celebrities without make-up or 'hey look, some chicks actually have fat on their bodies. for shame'. That's all I seem to see when I go to the grocery store and look at the magazines. Don't people have anything better to do?

Anyone know where there might be a place to buy a costume that isn't some slutty version of something?

We won!!

I had the other half of my dream from a few nights back. I'm glad to report that everything ende happily.

[Private to Twilight Sparkle]
Your brother's a bit of a hunk. ;)

Oh my gosh! I pet a stray kitty outside work today and when I got home, it was like Zora thought I was cheating on her! She hissed and spat and ran away from me. I swear, it was the pet equivalent of I SMELL ANOTHER MAN ON YOU WHERE WERE YOU YOU WHORE THIS MARRIAGE IS OVER and now I feel bad.

I just pulled the Halloween night shift and by pulled I mean I assigned myself to it. It never ceases to amaze me the kind of things that happen that night and are left on our front door. Last year It'll be all hands on deck, but here's to hoping it won't be too crazy this year.

I just jinxed myself, didn't I?

Oh right. This is the point where I warn everyone about Halloween candy and how poisoned apples are not just a myth. Not that I think anyone here is going trick or treating, but if you've got kids don't let them eat anything that looks iffy.

I got this rental while my car is in the shop and it's called an Avenger. How cool is that? I kind of feel like a badass in it. It drives like a boat though. I like my little Mazda. It handles so much better than this thing.

Is it too corny to wear a flower in your breast pocket to a job interview for a flower shop? I almost always wear flowers so it's not like it's abnormal for me, but they don't know that.

I aced my interview at this gym down the road from my apartment. The best part about the job is I would get free membership and the place has a spa and dance classes. I can keep in shape and get paid. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

For Halloween, I'm going as Iron Man.

Don't tell me I can't, because I paid millions of dollars to build this thing and I can do whatever the fuck I want with it, including extort candy. And by candy I mean alcohol. And by extort I mean go to my birthday party where I own the alcohol.

You see where I'm going with this. Come to my party because there's going to be alcohol there.

If somebody needs to get European Union citizenship, but has no relatives, no significant other there, or anything else that normally helps you get considered, how do they go about it?

Edit: Hey, who from the EU on this board wants to have a kid with me so I can get a residency and shorter path?

Just leave a note, people!