Network

...Uh...

the hell did I just read? Fuck's sake, the man's my godfather. Porn star guy IS hot but not really my type so much. Ollie's type? I'd buy it, but...

Yes, Network, I'm fine. No, Network, I'm not coming back.

((IP address traces to a coffee shop in Fisherman's Wharf, San Francisco))

I shouldn't have to post this, but I'm going to. Consider it my official statement on the matter.

Commander Tyra Shepard is an upstanding woman and up until a year or so ago, was one of America's finest soldiers. Unless you fought alongside her, you don't get to second-guess that. And it is never alright to bring up anyone's private life in public like that. I don't care who you are.

As my Employee, she has helped shape the kids in her care for the better. She's helped us rebuild, and was a key part of the rescue efforts at the Ranch during the meteor and earthquake. I will not be firing her. Not now, not ever.

I especially will not be firing her over what she chooses to do after hours in her committed and stable relationship. I don't care if that relationship is with a man, woman, bottle of vodka, or electric toaster. You shouldn't either.

She's a good woman and she will be employed at Urdnot Ranch as long as she wants to be. The end.

My God, what a bitch.

I'm glad to see my love life is relevant again. Too bad it's nonexistent.

For the record, I plan to marry that naughty professor.

I would like to state that I have not done anything illegal this month, and certainly not falsification of evidence.

Oh, uhm... I know this isn't very exciting after all the news that's been going around, but...

It's... It's some kind of miracle maybe, but my bunny, Angel, he was so sick for so long that I thought for sure we were going to have to let him go, but...

He's better! He's been better all weekend, just... just like that! I went out on a date and when I came back, Mr. Kirk nursed him back to health!

His personality is ... well it's different, but I'm blaming the trauma...

Guess who got herself an apartment? It's not as close to my son as I'd like, but at least it's something. Now I just have to get that work visa and I can open up my flower shop. Things are finally starting to come together. It feels really good.

Well, now I know what happens to creative writing majors who can't sell their novels: they turn to tabloid journalism.

While we're all making public posts for the record.

Zuko has a temper, but he has never, in my lifetime, directed that anger towards me. He's never punched me, hurt me, or otherwise abused me. He is, in fact, among the people in my life that never treated me like chattel or someone to marry off to the highest bidder.

I know women in these situations have a habit of declaring publicly that nothing is wrong, but there's an incident report on file here at the hotel. Everyone here knows I really did get drunk, fall, and hit my head. The only person to blame here is myself.

Thank you.

I love it! I had a good laugh today. I know it wasn't as funny for other people, but I got a laugh at seeing my own name there in print.

Never before have I been so utterly glad to be boring. I've been mentioned in periodicals before for my work, but that's all. My name remains blessedly unknown.

Celebrities, you have my sympathy and my respect for the asinine meddling you deal with upon a daily basis.

I don't think that was very amusing.

Oh look! Skeeter wrote about me, does that make me important now? Because really I am sure the rest of you have nothing better to do than worry about what or who I do with my life. Passionate affairs are not quite as fun if they aren't part secret.

Is it true or not? Well, I'll leave that up to decide. If I answer for sure it would take away the mystery and therefore all the fun with it.

I'm calm. I'm calmer. I'm calm.
I'm going to kill that bitch