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I've been Dreaming again. It feels weird to say this, but I've almost missed these.

Apparently in our "retirement" the Reds and Blues, Carolina and I were set up on a little moon kind of out in the middle of nowhere. You'd think things would be quiet, but these guys are literally incapable of doing that. The fact that the planet was apparently inhabited by dinosaurs didn't help.

Well then. Unnervingly realistic dreams take one.

It was just my childhood, but it wasn't? I grew up in L.A. in real life, but in it? Some place called Central City. I can't find it on maps..Pretty sure it was just my brain being wacky, but I can't let it go? Trying to do research on Central City and coming up with nothing. It felt so real though..

Anybody heard of Central City before?

So the costume party we’re at in my dreams? Is being thrown by some vampire named Bianca and she’s bound by the Laws of Hospitality not to kill any of her invited guests. Which sounds great. In theory. However if we do something that causes our deaths? She’s completely off the hook. And yes - antagonizing her fellow Red Court vampires counts as doing something to cause our deaths. I don’t see this party going well for me.

Dear Fuckwits:

I asked for teddy bears. I want my arm back. The other robot one, from Earth.

Insincerely yours,

Anakin


Ahsoka is this evil? [ Picture of newly received mechno-no arm ] How do I get this off? I've tried carbide tools AND NONE OF THEM EVEN SCRATCHED THE METAL.

I have found photographic evidence that Michael Jackson was a time traveler or an immortal or something. ( “Cut )

Well the brilliance of my dreamself just continues - it's not enough to keep the fact that I'm dead from my two oldest friends, we're opening the house up to find a fourth roommate. Because there's no possible way that could be a bad idea. I mean - I can fool a complete stranger right? This is going to go so bad so fast I know.

You know, once, just once, I'd like to have a birthday that doesn't involve a massive invasion...

So I’m going to have a party Saturday. Anybody on here who wants to come hang out at my beach house - message me and I’ll give you the address. I’m going to have food and drink and who the hell knows what else delivered. All you have to do is show up and hang out for a few hours - listen to me play some of the music I’ve been working on during my dream induced lockdown if you’re into that. And the only orcs here are the ones in the game on my PS4 - Orcs Must Die.

There is a literal family of peeps living in my left boot. Every time I try to evict them, they just move right back in.

My dog killed one this morning. Oh god, that scream. Please no.

This one happened to me a while ago but I didn’t want to say anything about it until I’d gotten all of the fallout dealt with as much as I could. Worst fucking Valentines Day wakeup ever So I died in the dreams. No big shock there when you’re dreaming about a town full of and run by vampires right? It doesn’t end there though.

Somehow my house in the Dreams saved my soul? Not sure how that works but all I know is I came back that night as a ghost. Not a see through one - real physical body, which would be awesome if it weren’t for the fact that if I try to step out my front door, I feel myself getting pulled to someplace else. So I’m trapped in the house and have to relive my death at sunrise. The pain of it at least.

And it crossed over to here. The ghost part and not being able to leave my house. Which means until something happens - I can’t perform. The guys are loving the extra downtime and all but I’m not used to just staying all the time. I’d probably go nuts if it weren’t for Kat

So I forgot to share with y'all that I found out what happened next after half my crew was about to mutiny. Someone blasted me from behind and shot out the fin in my head, which is why I woke up with it a while back all busted.

Well, in the dreams when I woke up, I was tied to a chair in my own ship and the half of my crew that turned against me decided to start executin' those who were still loyal to me. By sendin' em out of an airlock into space. Wasn't nothin' I could do about it but watch and feel sorry for myself I'd gotten my crew into this mess. All cuz I was soft on Quill.

Shittiest feeling in the world, watching good men die and being too broken to do much about it. I swear if Taserface were here right now, I wouldn't hesitate to beat the hell outta him and then put him full 'a holes with my Yaka arrow. Makes my blood boil that dumbass took over my crew and did what he done to 'em.

So apparently this is like some internet hang out for people to meet and talk about batshit crazy dreams? What kind of weed are you guys smoking because I seriously want some of that shit.

I just had the weirdest dream, at least in comparison to the ones I've already had. It's like I lived the same day twice but I don't remember everything. It feels like there are things I should remember but it's a haze while I have solid memories of other things and I can't help but feel that what I should remember and what I do remember are somehow tied together.... It's just weird. Has anyone else dreamt of something like that? It's not even de ja vu. Just a feeling from dreaming it even if I don't seem to realize it in the dreams.

I do enjoy this time of year. The Shamrock shake. Super yummy.

And I get to make mint candy cookies! And clover cookies! At Baxter Bakery we have these treats available until St. Patrick's Day. I hope you'll come and try them out!

It's so much fun to pull out these recipes once a year and revisit them!

Oh my God this is both amazing and terrifying: Nick Cage in Every Movie via A.I.

How come children are always the scariest things to encounter? Especially when they have a gas mask on and go around asking "Are you my mummy?" in that horrifying, innocent voice.

I think I'll have nightmares after that nightmare.

So uh, anyone happen to see a flyin' arrow anywhere? I was out tryin' to collect a bounty and the damn thing just took off on its own accord. Wouldn't respond to any whistles of mine. Seemed to leave a trail of pink too instead of red, which is strange as hell.

Guess I'm callin' it quits early today.

But if anyone sees it lemme know.

Loth-cats are the most adorable of creatures and I'm going to spoil the crap out of him, sorry Kanan. He already loves the kobe beef I got him!

I could have lived without a talking cat showing up in my dreams and trying to stick his claws in my baked goods. And trying to convince me to put fish in my desserts. At least I had today off from work so I could get some housework done and not need to worry about cooking anything.

[Thor]
Did I leave my phone charger at your house?

It's really weird being back here after actively avoiding California for so long being on the road so long. I guess this is where I'm supposed to introduce myself to people who don't know me - Michael Glass. And no before anyone asks - I don't have a release date for the next single/album/video or a date for the next concert.

My nephew is getting so dang big. It's ridiculous. I just want to put a brick on top of his head. He's two now. TWO. Soon he'll be playing with Legos. And I will be buying him every Lego in the world to make him spoiled happy.

Christmas this year is gonna be so awesome. He totally gets Santa, and presents, and all that now. I asked him what he wanted for Christmas this year, and he said he wanted a Dinosaur.

I'm gonna be on the radio tomorrow morning!!

It's finally happened. I'm officially apart of the club.

I survived my first attack AND had my first dream! And I have to say, it was pretty fantastic.

Is it weird that my dreamself is very similar to me? I mean...the life she had was exactly mine. Except she got to travel with the Doctor and I came here to California. If I had stayed around longer, I wonder if it would have come true...

I don't think I want to be around mannequin's for a bit though.

Take a nap, and out of all the repeat dreams I could've had, I had the one where Setsuna agreed to let Rivet dissect my body, while I was in it, in exchange for some fancy getaway car. Can't believe what a pain in the ass it was to convince that twerpy little angel to wait until I was done with it before trying to figure out how it worked. Now I'm gonna be pissed off for the rest of the night.

I mean, one of my best Dreams, but it still pisses me off.

In related news, I guess it's been like, two years since I finished having new dreams. So that's a thing.

Well, I gots me a raise at work, so I thought I'd upgrade the shitty old flip phone that was given to me five years ago. I don't really need one of them fancy touchscreen super computers in my pocket, but it seemed necessary when the third key fell off old Noki.

Probably should have thought that through a bit better because it turns out I can only use it with one fucking hand. Stupid fucking pain in the ass technology.

Oi ya cunts. Surprise! I'm back from the land of tea and crumpets, where people give you funny looks if you say you like their pants.

Did ya miss me? It's hard not to miss such a lovable face so I'm sure everyone did. What I miss?

I didn't go to school today..I don't really feel like going at all this week but I know I need to. My chest and my head hurt real bad. The faint outline of the moon mark on my forehead showed up, but i can hide it pretty good with my bangs. but thats not really the worst part.

Has..anyone else dreamed they died?

Starfish apparently have...a lot more legs than previously expected. I'm beginning to understand why they say the sea is like outerspace.

Still have no idea how it knows where it's going.

had a cocktail waitress at work show up after days gone missing swearing up and down she tried getting her nips pierced in an alley and then got abducted by someone who wanted to take her kidneys.

this is why you piss off from hardcore drugs, kids. that's revy's post for the 2017. done.

oh, and after the hundredth goddamn time i passed my GED. shit was hard for someone who started basic education in her late twenties but whatever, i'll boast however i want and celebrate with barrells of rum. maybe i'll get something that's better than a) editing sex tapes or b) kicking people out of strip clubs for asinine behavior, but probably not. it's the jobs with that little bit of shame that more fun and pay better.

GUESS WHAT? I might have a new job entirely - STUNT MAN! THAT ROCKS SO HARD!

So, uhm, are creatures coming over from the Dreams like a thing? Because this little guy ambushed me in the backyard this morning.

( Picture under cut for size; veiwable by all )

It's a lothcat, wild animals from the planet I kind of live on in my Dreams.

( cut for talk of decapitation, visible to all )

I swear I’m waking up more and more from these Dreams feeling more exhausted than I did when I went to bed the night before. Claire’s parents showed up and were kind of pissed I think that she was living with us, and kind of accused me of taking advantage of her when I took her money, until I showed them where I’d just set it aside to hold onto for her and hadn’t used any of it. And explained that her living there was safer for her because of everything that had been going on at the dorms and how injured she’d gotten. Everything was going great - we were having a nice dinner with them and then her dad found the beers in the fridge and there was no way for me to make that situation any better. They gave Claire two days to pack her stuff and be ready to leave with them - not just my house but Morganville as a whole. She doesn’t want to go but…I can’t afford for things to get messy. I can’t afford for it to get out that I’m a ghost. The whole situation in my dreams is enough to give me a headache trying to figure out.

And as if that’s not enough for one dream - Claire told Shane about me being a ghost and well he didn’t believe her but who would right? I guess my materializing in front of them that evening changed his mind about whether or not she was telling the truth. Kind of hard to deny you’re living with a ghost when they materialize out of thin air that way right? But it gets worse - the vampire who killed me? Showed up at the house and Claire invited him in without realizing who he was. I threw him out but he used his voice to hypnotize Eve to open the door and let him in.

I’m not sure whether I should be glad or disappointed that I woke up right then so I don’t know what’s going to happen next.

Mannn, and I thought my costume last year was inspired (Edward Scissorhands was the fucking obvious choice given the fact that I've got knives in my hand).

But this year. Maaan, I don't think I'm ever going to be able to top this year.

( Happy Halloween )

I can't fucking wait to see the look on girlie's face.

Nothing waking up next to a life size doll of your girlfriend instead of your actual girlfriend. Complete with a death threat for her.

Happy anniversary to us.

There's a couple making out in a booth at Chipotle. I'm legitimately waiting for them to start dry humping each other. Everyone is pretty obviously uncomfortable and like four people have left. You'd think my dreams and all the wanton public sex in them would have gotten me used to this but apparently not. Or I just don't like people fucking so close to my food.

Carolina and I are headed to Texas to get her things out of storage. While there, there is a remote possibility that I could meet my father for the first time and I don't know if I should.

My mother told me he didn't want anything to do with us, but Carolina says that surprises her. And...the Dreams didn't exactly put him the best of lights either...not that he was my father in the dreams.

Fuck, I have no idea if meeting him is a good idea or not.

Aww. The dreams decided to give me a memento from when I was the Bad Guy: the warthog Sarge and Grif used to run me down. I'm touched.

Edit: Ok, to clarify, warthog in this instance is a type of jeep...not an actual wild pig.

I wish I could sleep. I can't sleep. I don't even know why. No bad Dreams tonight, I just... can't sleep. I close my eyes and nothing. Then I open them again and... I just can't. I tried counting sheep, or whatever, and a cup of warm milk (which, by the way? Totally gross.) I dunno what to do, man. BUMMMER. :(

Getting real sick of wearing hoodies when it's a million degrees out or getting weird looks and/or questions all the time. Which one of you magic types wants the honour of making my arm look human?

I'm stuck. As a blonde. There are way too many things wrong with this. Magic hasn't worked. Glamour. Hair dye. No. I'm now blonde. As if this month hadn't been bad enough to begin with

I may have underestimated the sim troopers. Apparently, they actually do have some tactical knowledge. I wonder if the whole bumbling idiot routine isn't some kind of brilliant ruse. That, or they have some of the world's most amazing dumb luck. They managed to fucking run me down with a jeep and blow me up in a frustratingly successful attempt to rescue my hostage.

And they have Epsilon with them.

Mother. Fuckers.

Now my everything hurts.

Well this has been fun. Seriously. I never knew I had such a dark side. But ah, well, who knew? I've had too much fun killing the demons. It brought back memories of the dreams.

So there is a dude walking around who looks exactly like me and also has my name. He's harmless but yes not me. He's from my dreams. For those of you that have seen the lovely gravestone in my apartment it's that guy.

Here's a photo of it for those of you that haven't.

( gravestone )

If you see him let me know. I kind of lost him.

Well, that's that! Wendy and Jack came all the way from England to watch me walk ten feet and get some fancy piece of paper, wrote my final final on Friday and I'm pretty sure I passed everything, and Wendy gave me a fucking car. Maaan, everything's coming up Katou.

[Private to Kanan]

So nice of you to volunteer to teach me to drive. When do we start?

Ugh, finals start on Mondays. I ain't stressing out as much as I was this time last year. All I gotta do is pass 'em and I pass all my classes. But it ain't like I had a whole lotta time to study the last little bit.

Ah well, at least they're the last finals I'm hopefully ever gonna write. And then grad on Thursday. I mean, unless I fail all of them.

Aw fuck, what if I fail all of them?

Agron Someone in my dreams is being a jealous asshole. A cute pirate flirts with you once and it all goes to shit and you end up taking any opportunity to try and talk, which is how you end up surrounded by Roman corpses and trying to have a heart to heart. (Granted the pirates in general are shits who betrayed us, so I mean. Not an entirely unfounded distrust there.)

And Crixus continues to just be an asshole in general. No surprises there. I think that's what Spartacus wanted, though, since we were going to split up and attack the Romans on two fronts before the whole 'pirate betrayal' thing. Don't trust pirates in general. New life plan.

I woke up wearing my shoulder armor, which was actually pretty awesome even if it did leave quite a few weird looking marks Also as a note, don't sleep in leather, it gets sweaty.

Hey!!! Who would be interested in putting together a Spartan Race Team? This looks awesome, and we have a few months to practice.

I'm apparently now the antagonist in my own Dreams. Nice.

Anyone ever.... dream you die.

And then find out you didn't die. But that dieing would have somehow been better?