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my eyelid won't stop twitching and my boobs hurt and i haven't slept more than twenty minutes straight in a week

pete you are never having eleven kids ever ever ever unless you make them yourself

still alive just tired

List of things I need to buy:
- Alarm clock
- Coffee pot
- DVD player
- earmuffs

I am apparently a Jedi with a penchant for destroying electrical things. At least I can't destroy this bottle of vodka. Seriously, how does the world exist without coffee?

I'm pretty sure that the plants in my kitchen just tried to kill me. When did that become a thing that could happen?

( Cut for image, open to all. )

Pete and I made a baby. Everybody, meet Zelda Katherine.

If you don't think that this is the best sketch of any variety show ever then you're wrong. I could watch this all the time and never get tired of it.

So uh I met this really awesome chick lady woman person at Target, Merrill, and she said that she posts to this really cool community. Figured since I'm new here and all, it might be a good place to say 'hey'.

So uh, 'hey'. I'm Hugo, but everybody calls me Hurley. I just kinda moved here with my mom so yeah. Um, I like scifi stuff (Star Wars hell yeah) and comic books and all sorts of geeky stuff. I kinda won that reality show thing

So yeah. Anybody know a good fried chicken place around here? I mean, besides KFC. I mean some place good.

Is it odd that I find myself growing fond of people in my dreams that I haven't met before? A few more dreams last night even though nothing earth shattering has happened yet, I can't help but sense that something big is coming. I'm not really sure if I want to know what's happening (Don't give me spoilers, Obi-Wan).

The most fantastical and out of the ordinary thing that happened was this podrace. It's like nascar, but with space ships and a lot more violence and things being blown up. I can understand why it's a big source of entertainment on that planet because there isn't much there, but goodness is it dangerous. I was on the edge of my seat the entire time, but thankfully the boy we met won the race and his freedom. So now we're off to antoher planet (finally) and we'll see where it goes from there. Is it bad that I'm hoping for something exciting?

I've never felt so conflicted about Back to School time.

I AM 35 WEEKS PREGNANT. That's a lot of weeks. I'm gonna pop any day now, and I'm just ... kind of hoping that the firefairy comes early so we can get this baby thing goin' so I can heal up so we can do it all over again. PETE DID YOU READ THAT? READY YOURSELF IN A MONTH IT IS ON

I think my ears might be changing shape.

Well I'm back to... being myself, I suppose. My niece teased me relentlessly that I looked like a member of a boy band. Westlife? It was something like that.

[Locked to Wally]
I assume things have gone back to normal for you, as well.

The baby's the size of a honeydew melon now, apparently! I'm 35 weeks along, and only five more to go. THAT'S SO CRAZY. It seems like just yesterday Pete and I were practicing to make one, period! The nursery's all set up and the bathroom's all set with all the stuff I'll need for when the little one starts to arrive.

I should probably tell Pete sooner or later that I'm going to deliver at home, huh.

I had a strange, scary moment today at the coffee shop. I sort of... blacked out. Kinda. I had this moment where I was in a different place or time, it was weird. Like I was dreaming, but I was awake? And I knew what was going to happen next. It was brief, and I think I may have been hallucinating, or something, but I could tell what the person in front of me was going to order. Right before it happened. She ordered a skinny vanilla latte and a blueberry scone. And I knew she was going to. I just... knew.

I'm having a wonderful summer so far.

Frodo! We should have a party!

I appear to be the latest person to be gifted a sword from my dreams. It's actually kind of short to be a sword, but too long to be a dagger. Then again, I'm pretty short in my dreams, so I guess it suits me there. Just not here very well.

When did it become July? My Bar exam is at the end of the month and I'm trying not to mentally count down the days and freak myself out. Thankfully Percy Weasley has been an amazing help in coming up with some practice exams and my friend, Sam, has helped remind me to just calm down and not over study. I feel pretty prepared and I almost wish time would go faster so I could take the exam and be done.

On another note, I had another of my Dreams last night. It was more space time adventures. I got away from my home planet with the help of the Jedi and we were in a bit of a space battle with other ships. Thankfully this amazing droid called R2D2 helped fix the ship enough for us to land on another planet. Qui-Gon and I decided to head into the planet's main downtown to find parts for the ship which was definitely an interesting experience. We found a shop to help us get pieces, although the owner (another alien) was definitely greedy and sleazy, and met a boy that he had as a slave. YES, a slave. That infuriates me so much that not everyone in this universe is free (I know it's weird to get upset over things in a world that doesn't exist, but basic human rights). He seemed like a very sweet boy though and invited us over for dinner, which is where my dream ended. I'm really curious as to what is going to happen.

[Filtered to Obi-Wan]
I...I need to talk to you. I'm so confused about this boy I met in my dream.

Happy Fourth of July, everyone!

This is one of my favorite holidays because as a child who grew up with politics in the house there was nothing better than celebrating this holiday. I grew up admiring the way our country works and had a lot of great experiences while we were a political family. Not everything is perfect about us, but I'm proud of who we are and the amazing people that fight for our freedom. I'm still not completely sold on staying out of politics when I get a little older, but for now I'll just enjoy being a regular citizen again.

My parents are on their way here to spend the long weekend with me (my sister as well) and I couldn't be more excited. It's not as exciting as being in Washington DC to celebrate, but we'll be going to see Josh Groban at the Hollywood Bowl. I'm so ready to just have some fun and hopefully make my dad grill some hamburgers this weekend.

Have a safe and fun evening!

31 weeks along. Baby's the size of a squash. I have no feet.

Two months left.

I got woken up today by a flock of robins on my balcony. They decided to serenade me by singing Bohemian Rhapsody. While, I enjoy that song quite a bit, I did not enjoy being woken up early on one of my few days to sleep in. Is this going to be over soon?

So, I experienced some smoke inhalation this past weekend when the dragons attacked the cruise ship, but it's not a big deal. Some people were injured far more severely. Anyone who was on that cruise ship, come on into the bakery anytime this week and the coffee's on me.

Also, what's up with the animals and stuff talking? The flowers in the box outside the bakery were singing at me as I set up the outdoor tables and chairs. They have lovely voices, though, so another incentive to come by the bakery today!

I feel like I've finally been initiated into this community by finally have some extremely lucid dreams. And not to sound full of myself, but I'm apparently a Queen in my dreams. And not like Queen of England or anything, but the Queen of this planet in space. SPACE. What The Heck? And I was pretty young too, younger than I am now. Slightly impressed by that at least.

The dreams didn't give me much hope for my career in the future since my negoitating powers aren't high. My planet got invaded by a bunch of aliens and their droids and there was also a lovely assassination attack on me. Thankfully two guys in robes and these weapons that are a sword with a beam of light showed up and saved the day. And I give props to whomever came up with the idea to have me pretend to be a handmaiden and use a decoy as the Queen. I also had some awesome costumes for being Queen.

Now I have to drink like 10 cups of coffee to wake up and not think about this all day.

Oreo cookies are good for me because they make me drink milk.

Only 85 days left of being pregnant! Which is fantastic, because I think my ankles are missing. If you see a pair of ankles wandering the streets, let me know. I have dibs.

I think I shall get this early, so that I have enough time to prepare.

Much like last year, I shall produce a fireworks spectacular on the Fourth of July.

[Video of Fireworks, including massive exploding dragons]

I just need to secure a locale.

My trailer is staring at me.

Mother's Day was long and tiring, but I had the very best present by the end of it. Welcome, baby Samwise. He takes the cutest naps.

Just a quick post because I only have a few seconds to spare, but my wife and I (mostly my wife) gave birth to a healthy baby boy on Sunday. His name is Samwise. Now, if you excuse me, I need to get back to them.

Happy Mother's Day, Valarnet!

( Gross images of edible things shaped like babies under the cut! Viewable to all! )

Just remember: give your Mom a giftcard or perfume. No edible children, please.

OMG LORNA YOU ARE THE NICEST HOLY COW

Seriously, I'm so lucky to have such wonderful friends, and the world's best husband and ... I'm just so grateful for everything I've got.

As a pregnant woman, I'm fighting the urge every day to EAT ALL THE THINGS. So instead, I've been COOKING ALL OF THEM.

No really.

I made a meat house the other day, and today I made PB&J scones with brie. So good.

( Cut for picture! )

Seriously, if I make myself cook something really elaborate, it keeps me from eating the whole house. Because I need my house. That's where my cats live.

So, this is going to sound weird. Has anyone out there dreamed that they have a bonus soul riding with them in the dreams?

I wonder if it'll make me weird when I'm awake.

...Tank and his ladyfriend made babies again. Look at this ridiculousness.

There's ten of them. Anyone want a teeny baby tortoise?

I don't know why I'm
It's the middle of the night

I just had the most horrifying nightmare.

I understand everything now
Mount Doom
It's all my fault

Because I know you all care so much (SARCASM!), I'm giving you a STATE OF THE BABY UPDATE.

1) The baby is now the size of a sweet potato! This is awesome because it means I can feel her kick. But it's's kind of bad because now I imagine my baby as a delicious warm confection topped with marshmallows.

2) Pete kinda sucks at wall painting. His hair is now an awesome shade of blue-green in some places.

3) Barfing is done, but now I've got heartburn out the ying yang. ET TU, CURRY?

4) I might have built an elaborate trebuchet based delivery system for diapers out of two-by-fours. I'm also not sorry.

Note to self: When trimming branches in trees, always check for bees hives first. I just spent the last two hours at the ER. Damn good thing I'm not allergic.

So, I was told about this place by my friend, Navi. And she was right. It's pretty interesting. I just hope that by being here, that doesn't mean I'll suddenly wind up naked. That would be embarrassing. Especially if I were mowing someones lawn at the time or something.

Oh, I'm Sam Gamgee, by the way.