Network

ffs why does anyone even bother going outside anymore if they live here?

Hello. I'm new to this network, but not new to Orange County. My name is Miles Edgeworth; I'm the chef/owner of Arirang, down in Laguna Beach. Arirang is the name of a Korean song that's basically the unofficial national anthem, so it seemed a good thing to name my Korean restaurant.

I tend to spend all my time there, but occasionally you can find me in bookstores. I am gay, and I do charity work for LGBT organizations around Orange County, so if anyone has any kind of objection to that, please don't bother coming to the restaurant, as it is a private business and I do have the legal right to refuse you service.

That said, I look forward to seeing some of you at the restaurant, and I appreciate the invite to this network.

Ugh, those zombie things taste horrible!

Happy first of National Ice Cream Month!

Where is it Americans go on holiday but not bother with leaving the country?

Customs in this country can be dreadful.

Huh. Good to know I can rip these blue monster things in half.

Is everyone safe? Secure?

Oh, you can hear them all too? What a fun time for you!

Just be careful what you tell squirrels. They're awful at keeping secrets.

So if Alex and I were to theoretically find some place cold enough to still have snow and possibly maybe provide some transportation (by which I mean Scott please let us borrow the plane I swear we'll give it back with a full tank of gas), would anyone stand around and watch some poor guy freeze his butt off while he marries us?

Did I mention there will be free food? I think I should mention the free food. And hot drinks.

I never thought I'd miss the rain of England, but it's just so... Bright and cheery here in California. How do you all stand it? Everyone skateboarding, and smiling, and the sun!

Oh the sun.

It's simply awful.

S'pose I'll have to invest in Coppertone stocks to keep from becoming a giant freckle beast.

Name's Pepper. New to town. Where can a girl get a decent (non-vegan, non-gluten free, full of dairy and fat) American cheeseburger around here? Part of the initiation I hear.

Well, there's that tattoo again. Came back fresh and that's a laugh n'a half, ain't it.
Assuming that means most everyone else is back to themselves, huh? L? M? Any letters in between?

Oh wait, there are no letters between those.

Huh.

According to my uncle, I'm not using this to its full capacity. Which means he doesn't think I'm being social enough. Apparently this is a good way to meet people.

So hi. I'm Derek. Consider this me being social.

Apparently I'm now the Posh Dog Rescue. Whenever people don't want to take care of their pets dump them here at my office. I think it's mostly because ... well, they know I'll probably keep them and take care of them.

So. What do I name this little guy?

Sunshine! And no instaburn! I'm pushing up the party time to 3pm, if anybody wants to help set up. I am going to dip myself in sunscreen and spend the day outside.

Jennifer Love Hewitt is ruining my life, dear god.

So I was coming out of the movie theater this past weekend when I overhear someone wondering aloud, "Do they actually animate stuff to go with stuff the voice actors do when they mess up? Or do they write scripted gags?"

Just to clarify, the answer is YES!

More dreams. Hooray! Apparently I tried to marry Alex in the dreams. I guess I shouldn't be surprised at how that worked out.

I'm going to have a beach party on Friday evening before I leave town. Anybody want to join me? Say, around sunset?

Don't worry, I don't think I'm leaving for good. Just a little working vacation to kick off the summer.

Is it common to find things from your dreams? I only ask because I've just had another round of strange and odd dreams, and in these dreams, I had rather a nice watch (you know the expensive, unnecessary sort), and as I was putting away my real watch tonight I found my dream watch.

It's quite cool. It tells the time in twenty-one different world capitals. But, uh, just wondering is this is sort of normal or not.

I swear, more cars come in when it's beastly hot out than at any other time. The garage is allegedly air conditioned, but hell if you can feel it when you're on your back under a car.

Pain in the ass.

Well shit. If I'd have seen the signs, breaking up with her wouldn't have made me feel so guilty leading up to it.

Still, is it terrible to ask for a one night stand tonight?

A wam, bam, thank you ma'am(Or sir?) tonight?

I know I swore offa catnaps, but really that seemed like the best way I coulda spent the entirety of my day so far. Now I'm gonna be up all night, though. Guess I just gotta decide if it's a bar or coffee sorta day.

I'm quite sure that I've been here for 72 hours straight. I've been sleeping in my desk chair. I don't really know how much longer I'll be here. I haven't been this busy in ages.

[Friends]

Could one of you perhaps go to my apartment and feed Toby? I got just enough time to feed him yesterday, but I need someone to look after him.

[Sherlock and Victor]

There's quite a bit of bodies here if either of you need anything. And I'll be here for a while.

You know, if it weren't for how insane this county seems, I'd say the US was more boring than my home. Sure Wales has it's own boring times, but at least we could watch sheep run around.

Here, you just sit and watch to see which congressman accidentally outs himself with a gay sex scandal with their pool boy.

Which after the 80th time just gets old. Come on, for the land of the free you really are too restricted.

That being said, hello there, Jenny Flint at your service.

I took the dog out for a walk today, and just in case, I brought along my camera.

( Cut for image, viewable to all. )

I'm really glad I did. I know it'll ruin my reputation as a surly old cuss, but I'm rather taken with my dog.

I think I might need some advice, but I'm not actually sure what advice I need. This seemed like the best place to ask, at any rate.

How do you reconcile your dream relationships with your real life ones? The thing is, there's a girl from my dreams and I've met her here, and in my dream world we're in love with one another. Here, she's quite a bit younger than I am and I guess I've started thinking of her as something like a little sister. But now I guess she's developed a bit of a crush.

I guess I'm worried that once she catches up in her dreams, it might - Well. I don't want her thinking she's obliged to believe she likes me, and I honestly have no idea how to gently coax her out of the notion without upsetting her too much.

Anyone out there with some wisdom to impart?

How do you know if you're gay? I mean, not all the way, this person still likes girls, but he might have fooled around with a guy and really liked it.

It's for a friend.

Got me a bit of a pet today, too, since it's a bit of a trend, lately.

( Cut for image )

Just dunno what to name her, yet.

I joined this network a couple of days ago. I'm still not sure it was the greatest idea. I do see some familiar faces. I'm not sure that's a good thing either.

What are we supposed to do on this thing?

I don't think I'm going to be getting back to sleep after a dream like that. I've never had one quite so...disturbing before.

I seem to have adopted a dog. One of my more idiotic clients - who's been fired, never you worry - decided that it sheds too much, so she told me to have it "put down or something".

Some people's children.

You've got to be fucking kidding me.

So. Who knows how to take care of a fresh tattoo on the inner lip?

Because apparently I fucking have one now.

Keep goddamn biting it on accident. Fuck me, man.

How the fuck did the Sriracha lose that chip thing? Now I'm pissed off.

So I totally had a Ben & Jerry threesome last night, and did not even regret it in the morning. I guess there is an upside after all.

I dreamed about living, evil cookies last night. I don't even know what these dreams are about, anymore. I mean. . . evil cookies?

I've had terrible interrogation dating luck lately.

How do you possibly forget something you've seen that's been burned into your retinas and you want it to go away?

Hello. My name is Joseph, I'm something of a lifer here, I guess. Born and raised in Irvine, and now working at a book store here.

One of my coworkers was urging me to be more social and meet some new people, and suggested this network.

So hello, it's nice to meet all of you.

I need a damn drink. No, I don't care if it's only 10am. Judge me all you want. I surely didn't miss this dreaming thing. What is the sense of surviving the slaughter house once if they're just going to toss you back in it? The stupid odds are never in your favor.

Yeah, going to get that drink now.

Goddamn, it's gettin' hot. Makin' me want a snowball.

And by snowball I do mean a shaved ice treat that gets sold in the summer in New Orleans. Not ... the other thing. The definition that hommes who sleep with hommes know about. The dirty thing.

I've really put off this for too long, haven't I? Everyone's always talking about this network, and I hate being out of the loop.

Jay Gatsby, and it's a genuine pleasure.

I'm thinking I want to get a motorcycle. Don't know what kind yet. Anyone know which ones are good?

... okay, these dreams are un-fucking-acceptable. I am getting some Lunesta. Today.

I know I shouldn't really be surprised anymore but when things have been quiet for a while I completely forget how strange this county can be.

I saw the strangest group of people walking through the town this morning. They seemed nice and nobody bothered them. But I can't help wondering if this is leading to something a little less...calm.

What are you people doing on Friday?

Cause we're gonna take the Condom Challenge! . The DRUNK condom challenge. Who's in? I've got grape and bubblegum extra larges or you can bring your own if you want fancier.

Suppose I can't deny my dreams, now. I've just successfully traveled back in time.

Well, it wasn't entirely successful. Kind of an accident. Well, sort of. I've wanted to travel the Time Vortex since I realized who I am. Still, didn't quite mean to do it that way.

Maybe it'll be easier next time.

( Private to Leonard McCoy )

My brothers are playing the most mind-numbingly boring video game I've ever seen. They think it's the best thing since sliced bread, but the graphics are all pixely and they keep getting attacked by these weird flying things and slime.

So...it's normal to experience changes after having these weird dreams? Cause I had a dream but i didn't think much of it until I looked in the mirror. I keep biting the inside of my lip.

Attention ladies and gentlemen! As my birthday steadily draws nearer, I realize I want to have an absolutely ginormous party.

School's out, summer and freedom is near, and I think I'd like to have something beachy themed. I want lots of blended beverages and men and women in nothing but swimsuits and lots of poor fantastic decisions.

Please tell me someone out there has a pool and loves me enough to facilitate this endeavour. :c

Okay, so right now, this is the most amazing thing ever.

Totally not a rickroll, I promise.

You know what's also amazing? Coconut flavored rum. It is the most amazing thing ever.

After business cat. Who is all about business, as you might surmise from the name.

My name is Will Graham, and I was recommended to this network by a professional acquaintance. I train dogs for a living - I find them a fair amount kinder than people, most days. Though in the interests of full disclosure, I probably ought to state that if your dog is named Muffy and you're fond of kicking her when she misbehaves, I will seize possession of the dog and risk the misdemeanor.