Network

That's it, I'm offa cat naps.

In the further adventures of Scud's fucked up dreams (it's a show. Basic cable, y'know), did not die after being nearly eaten alive. Was saved by a very buff dude with absolutely no sense of humor and a flare for overly stylistic kung fu. Vampires, he said, and put on these shitty sunglasses even though it was the middle of the night.

So, right. Vampires. Gotta watch out for them, ya know. And super buff versions of Corey Hart, I guess.

At least I didn't die.

My piglet has been named. She's Samus. Because she's a tough little thing.

That's it, I'm taking a break from men. Except for you, Merlin, you're fantastic and a darling. The rest of them, however.

Ugh.

I got the barista job! I start Monday morning at stupid o' clock!

I just found Pinterest. (Where was I six months ago when it was big??)

( [Not filtered, just cut for image.] )

Fucckkkkk

( Cut for some graphic dreaming, man )

Gonna need more than a pack of smokes today.

So, I was dicking around online today, and on my Tumblr feed, I noticed someone in my area having to give up their pet that they just got two weeks ago due to a surprise move. That sucks. I never really thought I'd want a pet, but lately I've been thinking I wouldn't mind one.

Now I have a pet micropiglet.

What should I name her? I'm looking for ideas.

The surrealistic nocturnal worlds presented in these dreams is apparently something that not even I am immune to, which is disappointing. I'd been hoping to get away unscathed.

What does, suck, though, is that apparently I dream in TV Tropes. There I am, the baddest demon in Hell, but one day, apparently I pull a Heel Face Turn and decide I'm sick of it. And I'm not even a demon who used to be human. I was made from a serial killer heart.

How the heck does that work?

You know what? I curse that damn Drano or Liquid Plumr commercial or whatever the fuck it is about the two dudes that come to that lady's house and are all sexy with their flushing the pipes and shit.

Man fuck that commercial. Don't call us up unless you actually have a problem with your toilet, y'know? We're not coming there to snake the drain wink win and all that fucking bullshit. We ain't them.

I feel like I'm the only one who's not having strange dreams that are more like memories, or whatever they are. Makes me feel almost like an outcast. Or something.

Still think it's kinda weird being in a state where Spring isn't a hot emotional mess of weather. Sure there's rain, but it's always so... nice. Weird.


Anyway. Gettin' the bored itch. Thinkin' of going out for drinks tomorrow. Who wants t'come?

I feel as if I am in need of a hobby. So I appeal to your wisdom, Valarnet - what do you do for fun? I already read many books and practice fighting with daggers.

I'm normally not one to say this out loud or even admit it, for that matter but, I'm lonely It's too quiet I'm bored. I will admit that my neighbors provide great audio entertainment but only I can listen to so much before I want to pull my hair out or tell them to shut the fuck up. So, I'm thinking of getting a roommate. I haven't decided if he'll be short and hairy or long and scaly.

Ugh. I hate being invited to black tie events. I have to figure out what to wear, I have to find an escort - it's so much bother to just sit and be bored. But if I decline, I look ungrateful. Double edged sword.

Setting up multiple Slip and Slides and coating them with lubricant to make some sort of massive slide to my pool is a bad idea, yes?

Because if nobody disagrees with how inherently wonderful this idea is, I am going to do that tomorrow.

Someone actually got paid to run a study that proved that women prefer men with large penises. (Of course, this was a study of hetero and bisexual women. I can only imagine lesbians would've skewed the study somewhat.)

Speaking as a man who enjoys men, yes. Bigger is better. Everyone knows that. Christ.

And people say my job is pointless.

Have clothes stopped falling off of people?

I feel a bit out of the loop. My dreams have been a bit of a distraction lately.

(*・_・)ノ*`*`* Hi guys! Usa-chan here. But you can call me Chibiusa! All my friends back in Tokyo do because I'm so short and animated like a Chibi! Anyone here like manga?

Or music? Like Kyary Pamyu Pamyu ♬♪♫ ヾ(*・。・)ﾉ ♬♪♫ Had a friend who does a lovelove radio show say I should come here so here am!

\(‾▿‾\)~~~~~~(/‾▿‾)/

Why is it that there is nowhere one can smoke in this place? Ça m'embête beaucoup! C'est pas cultivé. À la France, on peut fumer encore.

( ooc: translation )

Any accountants around? Or just someone who likes to do people's taxes?
Mine ain't hard to do, but I gotta say I just don't really feel like cracking down on it this year. Apparently Uncle Sam frowns on that kinda thing though?

God has visited me in my dreams again.

I haven't disclosed this to any of you in a public forum, even if I've expressed it privately. But God has shown me a world that I can barely describe. A world that is both an alternate, a future, a past and a present. And when I saw this world, I realized that it wasn't a dream at all: it was a window into a past memory. It was a thing of beauty...and of horror. Horror because of the creatures that spawned within cities, the destruction that tore across continents....a thing I could not have ever imagined.

I am at God's side now. I have the love of the Lord in my heart. And I am his tool upon Earth. I am his herald. His harbinger. And my role here will no longer be passive! In brain scans I see this world hidden within us, and I will bring it upon us through blood, love and rebirth! For only through destruction can we be reborn into the perfect forms that will last unto Eternity! There is no other answer! No higher calling! I urge each and every one of you to look to your sins and seek rebirth!

There will be those that say I am insane. They are easy prey for the false shepard that promises salvation, when the truth is that salvation is possible only within destruction. You cannot possibly comprehend the wonders and horrors I have seen.

You do not let comprehend your place in things.

I am the harbinger of your perfection. From now on, I am assuming control.

Those were the weirdest dreams I've ever had.

We were on a journey. An expedition to the Dragon's Triangle, searching out the Sun Queen. Something wrecked us, and... captured us. I'd never felt more scared

And then I landed in a spike pit. Which was nice.

Sometimes I wonder if it's all worth it. My last dozen walk-ins have all been people with allergies worried that they have a cold or something worse. Surely a quick click around web-md could tell them the basic differences between simple allergies and a life threatening disease that requires a doctor visit?

I'm sorry, I haven't even introduced myself on here, I don't think. I'm Dr. Henry Jekyll, I work at a clinic here. I've probably met most of you, at some point.

Hee.

I think I have a boyfriend.