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I ... had a weird dream last night. Still not sure I believe any of this It was a lot like my life, but different. And my cousin Peggy was my Aunt, not my cousin. That's weird, right? It was really realistic. But I had pizza before bed. All that sodium probably went to my head, or something.

I'm in need of legal assistance.

New to the area. If anyone is looking for a roommate, knows of a room for rent, an apartment, house, whatever, in Orange County open I can pay up front.

Also, in case this is like Craigslist and the usual acceptable payment is a handjob and cheap ikea furniture (which I respect but I must decline), I just want to make it abundantly clear that I will be using actual paper money currency for the rent transactions.

Also I have a cat in case that is a deal breaker.

HOW HARD IS IT TO FIND A BAR OPEN THIS EARLY IN THE MORNING.

Grocery store it is, jesus. It's not like I'm asking for the world here.

OMG you guys, I had no idea that Ninja Warrior was in America! How did I miss that?

Check this out! This chick is amazing! She's the first woman - like literally - to complete the course and she makes it look like she's not even sweating!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfZFuw7a13E#t=434

Yeah, she's awesome. But you know who's even MORE awesome? LARA! You have to do this, Lara. You could kick her ASS at Ninja Warrior. I bet you and Shepard could have even beaten the Japanese course!

My boyfriend currently thinks I'm a 'wanker.' Why, you ask? Because I inadvertently messed up his phone while on a date...when I tackled him into the ocean.

For the record, his phone was not the only 'victim.' And I have ordered us new cell phones that match. Is there justification in his assessment? Discuss.

Also, given the lack of phone, email is the best way to contact us.

I have the night off for a change. Who wants to entertain me.

I think I was cut off at least five times on the freeway today. I know it's LA, but usually it's a little better than that. You'd think this was a three day weekend or something. Everyone is always in such a damn hurry.

[Private to Piers]
I'm going to be just a little late. I have to get some material.