Network

I want to thank everyone who came to the show and the after party the other night. It really meant a lot to me to see all of my friends and everyone else who came by. It had been a long time since I'd participated in an art show and it's still a little crazy to think that there are people out there with my work in their homes or offices.

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So let's say you've got a whole bunch of magickal artifacts that if someone touches, they'll die. You've got them in containers, so they're portable, but you don't just want to leave it laying around.

Where do you put it? Storage container? Safe deposit?

There had best not be anyone called Anastasia Steele on this network.

And who the fuck gives a copy of Tess of the D'Urbervilles as a romantic gift?

Wow, I'm not a very trusting person in my dreams.

Ooops, I think I forgot about this place for a day or two there.

I've been practicing with my qi. Apparently, it really does work and that's how in my dreams I can shoot energy from my hand. I'm really good at it in my dreams, but here I can barely do anything with it at all. I can push myself off a wall and that's about it.

Anyway! For anyone who has been coming to my dojo, I'm having a mini-tournament next weekend. Even if you've come for one lesson, you're welcome to participate. Come in and see what it's all about. I take payment in the form of $10 per class or food, because I'm a terrible cook.

I might manage to fly here after all...we'll see! Don't worry, Mary, I'll be careful.

I suppose it's time to introduce myself. I'm Boromir, and I'm running as an Independent for the 46th congressional district. I hope this network will prove valuable in getting to know my constituents.

I was going out to pick up some supplies for Hector (who is doing very well, thank you for asking after him!) and saw this.

I found it profound, terrifying, and oddly accurate.

Well, I've been bothered by a few people to come on here. Apparently it's the best way to communicate with other citizens of Orange County. As though I can't just go down to a bar and meet people there. Doesn't anyone talk face to face anymore? Too much technology, I say.

This is good to know for any new dads or soon to be dads. I knew some of those, but there are some I wish I'd known when I was eighteen. I'm sure that some of them are different for everyone cause Lian slept in my bed a lot as a baby, but she always slept fine in her crib when I did put her in there instead.

Dream me got rid of one giant asshole boyfriend and decided to play the field. I don't know about dream me's choice in men because she picked out a twin that looked like a llama. At least the one that was straight.

Oh and I'm pretty sure they're evil werewolves. I obviously have a thing for bad bad men.

Then some crazy girl grabbed my arm, and my friend Allison's arm and when we put the bruise marks together, they made a symbol. What crazy shit is that? Bad shit is always happening, I swear.

Hello, I'm Faramir. My older brother, Boromir, has already posted an introduction, earlier today. I've been on the network for only a little while, but I've been quiet. I prefer books and reading, rather than the public limelight. I'll leave that to Boromir, instead. I can assure you all that he's a person of good character and that he means well, and that he will make for an excellent representative should he be elected.

As for myself, I'm currently a community college teacher (philosophy, poetry) at Orange Coast College in Costa Mesa. I teach three days a week and volunteer for my brother's campaign, as well as various other causes.

I'm afraid I'm not as interesting as my brother is. I simply thought it would be rude to continue lurking on the network and never post anything.

Well then.. I'm President of Gallifrey. That is something. President. Who would have thought that?

I've also met another version of the Doctor. I don't know about his outfit though.

HOLD THE PHONE.

There's a bacon-scented cell phone alarm out there and that's a thing.

Let's discuss, shall we?

• The technical term for this sort of cell attachment is "dongle". Let us laugh at the word "dongle". Okay.
  
• Is waking up to bacon worth waking up and there not actually being bacon?
  
• Is returning from work to bacon scented sheets worth the sorrow?
  
• Why am I not eating bacon? Right, I own a pig.