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So... Getting stabbed in the chest? I don't recommend that. And I'm still pretty sure that even dream me didn't do anything to deserve it.

I'm going to go insane stuck in this hospital bed. It's a good thing Kitty brought me my 3DS and my Laptop.

X-Men
Me and The Phoenix are getting along just fine. You can all breathe now. As soon as Moira clears me I'll see if I can do a mental sweep for Logan.

I feel it's very important that you all know that I've made Miis of all of you in my game of Tomodachi Life. It's making work way more funny, and now I'm having problems separating game canon from real life sometimes.

Like, Dick, my love, whenever you post I wonder why you hate green peppers so much you barf and lose half of your happiness bar. And Arya, why do you obsessively run on your treadmill at 3AM?

This game is strange, but it's making life more fun, so I guess that it's doing its job!

So, I have my third dog. He, like the other two, is a rescue.

( Meet Jameson. )

I think I'm going to set my dog cap at three.

Now Joanna wants to join the damn skiing team. How does a school in Irvine have a damn skiing team??

Still not the most fucked up thing to ever happen to me.


Vel

I'll be awhile.

Won't be comin' home right after, will need to clean shit off.

Monday is my birthday. I will be eighteen, though now physically, I do not know what I am. I dream I am eight hundred. My body looks to be twenty-something. Mentally, I am probably somewhere between all three of those numbers.

What havoc these dreams have brought.

Sex Sent Me To the ER - a great show or the greatest show?

David Thomas Snape was born yesterday at 9 p.m.

The baby and I are doing fine. I'm so glad that's over and done with though.

Mother's Day, that day where I won't call my mom, and she won't call me, and that pretty much sums up our relationship at this point.

I think the last time we talked was mostly yelling and her demanding I get out of this "lesbian phase" I'm apparently in.

Someone tell me not to get another dog.

So. I found a list of "how to properly pet animals." I have found that #15 is pretty much true.

As my wife is very, very pregnant, I'll likely be taking our daughter Daisy to the Egg Hunt this Easter on my own. Unless Romana insists upon coming with us, I will ensure that she gets as much rest as possible these next four weeks before David arrives.

We ordered an Easter dress, complete with Bonnet, for Daisy.

I pity any child who pushes Daisy in order to get eggs out from under her. I am one of those parents. I will not put up with it.

Logan, Eli and I are happy to welcome Amy Alyssa Howlett, born at 7:09 PM last night - 7 pounds, 1 ounce. She's happy, healthy and so far, no claws. Logan was nice enough to let me sleep for twelve hours after going through it all.

[babypicture.jpg]

We're going home later today, so after that, the visiting can start.

Dumped via note.

I suppose there's worse ways.

Now to see if I can even get drunk.

I don't know about being pregnant, but trying? That's fun. I highly recommend it.

This is good to know for any new dads or soon to be dads. I knew some of those, but there are some I wish I'd known when I was eighteen. I'm sure that some of them are different for everyone cause Lian slept in my bed a lot as a baby, but she always slept fine in her crib when I did put her in there instead.

So, this morning was entertaining. I woke up with what I can only call a contraction - but the baby is only 33 weeks. Not even eight months in. It hurt like a son of a bitch. I debated basically just sitting there, freaking out and hoping it'd wake up Logan.

But I got the phone, and I googled "early contractions." And it turns out there's something called Braxton Hicks contractions, which are basically practice for your uterus.

I'm incredibly relieved that's all it seemed to be, but I swear to God, I'm gonna be a little fucking uptight for the next month or so. I should probably find other moms to talk to - googling shit isn't the same.

I can only assume that most of you by now have found a place to stay while this plays out. If not, there are plenty out there who are opening their doors, but if you plan on going somewhere you'd best decide if it's worth going outside or not.

However, don't despair. To get us all through being stuck indoors and to keep our minds distracted, Logo's facebook page has the first episode of season six of RuPaul's Drag Race up. It's as delightful as you would expect it to be.

I am now 30 weeks pregnant. Seven and a half months. I'm starting to get that sticky-outy belly button thing.

By the way. If anyone ever says any one of these to me, I will cut your throat with the heel on my Louboutins.

I'm not even close to emotionally prepared for this weekend. Tomorrow would have been my one-year anniversary.

This is the best not-real advert I've ever seen.

( Cut for NSFW image, open to all. )

I miss my husband. Sleeping's harder when he's not around.

I'm also drinking ketchup again, like I did when I was single. I've got issues.

The only thing I dislike about my modeling gig is that it shoots so far in advance. It's February, way too cold to be running around in a string bikini right? Wrong.

I don't think I can get hypothermia when it's in the fifties out, but good lord, I had to almost slap a photographer when he wanted to shoot for two hours in the water. Look sexy? How about I introduce you to the business part of this very high heel, you idiot.

Hi, Valarnet.

( TW: murder, ota. )

These dreams like to punch you in the balls, don't they? Even if you don't even have any.

Edit: I'm looking for someone good with computers. Like really, scary-nerd good.

So, I still have the robes that my grandfather dressed me in before trying to ritually sacrifice me. Uni here has far fewer toga parties than I was led to believe by telly, so I've not used it yet.

I wonder if it's worth keeping.

Holy fuck, Amy just kicked me so hard I'm awake now. I was napping on the couch and then WHACK. I'm not sure whether to be a little freaked out, excited as hell, or both.

My mum's at it again. Now that I'm single, she says, I need a little bit of help being "inspired to wake up".

So she got me this bloody thing. That's not worksafe, by the by, and also incredibly mental even for my mother.

Does anyone wish to swap parents for a month or so?

So I'm back. The real me, not the creepy other me.

Rachel

I'm so so so so sorry.

I'm making a list of people who are acting strange. I've encountered things like this in my dreams before. You don't have to name names, just the changes in the behavior if you want.

I think I may have a nervous breakdown. Seriously.

This is going to sound strange considering the source, but men really are babies about being ill. I did my shift in the ER helping out, and in a ten hour shift, I had fifteen men come in with headcolds. Headcolds aren't really an emergency. They're not usually something to see the doctor about. Tea and bedrest, and soldier on, my friends. But hey, it's your insurance deductible, who am I to judge?

Oh, greatI have claws when I'm pissed off now. Huge metal ones that come out of my fist like in my dreams.

Not to say it isn't badass, it's just a little fucking random.

There are officially 100 days to go until my due date. It feels like I've been pregnant for like six years.

I know Father's Day is not for a while, but I wanted to show what I just bought for my Papa for early father's day. Those who know Logan will laugh.

But I got him Maple syrup.

I can't get my theme song from the dreams out of my head. It's kind of infuriating.

Text to Kitty Pryde

>> Oh god, I did a bad thing.
>> Well.
>> Not inherently.
>> But Logan's going to kill him.

Text to Velma Kelly

>> I have done something awful.
>> You must never tell Logan.

All I got for Christmas was books, and I'm thrilled. I'd be more thrilled if I could get my friends to use reusable wrapping methods, but maybe next year. (There's so many cute kinds, "they're ugly" is not an excuse.)

So I'm sorry if you don't see me for a while, I'm reading about Aussie farming history and some of its problems now.

I woke up to a photo of people framed on my nightstand.

( Cut for image, viewable to all. )

I don't know what to say, but thank you. This photo makes all the madness, all of the ... whatever it is I've gone through - it makes it worthwhile.

It's a girl. We're having a little girl.

Jokes about Logan only being able to produce girls go here.

I hate feeling helpless or vulnerable. I hate feeling at all, really - crying is just bollocks. And I hate feeling like there's nothing I can do to make this situation better, because I didn't mean to upset him, I really didn't.

Mum thinks I should go to therapy. I don't eat when I'm upset, and I've lost a half-stone already.

Who wants to help me get Logan into a Santa suit for the children's hospital?

I feel like I owe a lot of people an apology for just disappearing. I just ... needed time to myself, to get myself sorted. It's funny how it didn't help at all.

... okay, does the paparazzi ever get a week off from work? Come on now, I was doing Christmas shopping, how is that interesting to anyone? I get paid to prance around in skimpy clothes - how does this make me important? Plus, I was wearing jeans and a hockey jersey. Sexy to about no one. Arse off.

Vel, stop laughing.

I am going to go get shambolically drunk. Who wishes to join me and keep me from ending up in Miss Skeeter's column?

Oh, wow, look how far we've come, OC. I don't think we had anything like this when I was a kid.

Hey, I'm Seth, and yeah, my parents are famous but shhh. Don't make them get bigger heads. (Just thought I'd get all of that out there before anyone asked.) I just got back home from Monaco, and ugh, jet lag is killing me.

Christina Alice was born today. Happy Halloween.

Posted from my Phone

Okay. As hilarious as it was for the first few days, now Logan being so quiet is starting to bug me. Anyone got a fix they're working on?

( Public ~ Cut for Pregnancy stuff )

OOH EE OOO AH AH DING DANG WADDALALADA BINGBANG!