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People get way too bent outta shape over being given the wrong size drink. I can't be expected to hear a pig fart through that drive-thru speaker, even if someone plastered the pig's ass against it, OK? It sounds like ZZZZTZZZT-ra LARGE PEPSI-ZZZT-BZZZZZZZZZZZZZ makes me want to stab myself in the face with a plastic spoon ZZZZZZSSSSSSSTTTTstaticZZSST.

So ya got a large drink instead of an extra large? Big deal. Learn to pronunciate or talk louder, dammit. You think someone would figure that out after I say "WHAT?!" fifty billion friggin' times.

I'm having a day. Better day than some. Also, frozen peas work great for black eyes.

( TW: homophobia )

So... who needs a roommate?

There's a reason we're not supposed to be doing magic in the halls. When I woke up this morning, my teeth were different. From the dream. And then I was helping Harry learn about Summoning Charms. I think I could do them in my sleep now.

Also, on my way to church this morning, I saw a little girl everywhere. Like, a ghost. I think with the Wonderland craziness and getting more and more excited about going to Mars I forgot about the hauntings people have been seeing. I must be slipping Are people still seeing her? Does anyone know who she is, or how we can help her?

Yo. This public service message is to the ninja asshole that somehow roofied me and then tribal tattooed my eyebrows and forehead when I was asleep last night. Yeah, it's not funny. Yeah, it's a real tattoo. Yeah, I tried washing it off my face and it's not coming off.

Whoever you are? I'm gonna FIND YOU and I'm gonna KILL YOU.

That hurt less than I thought it would. I also managed to ruin the dinner table. Got fuckin' ginsu knives in my hands now.

Worst. Rescue. Ever.

Why are guys such assholes?

Ugh I am not stoned enough for this at all.

How do you get out of a giant mushroom??

I'm working the drive-thru out of a giant, tarnished bronze pineapple. I got to work and felt like I was stuck in a bad mashup of a goth fairytale meets Spongebob Squarepants. That's when I realized I'd be Squidward. And after that? I realized I know too much about friggin Spongebob Squarepants cartoons and tried to stab myself with one of the plastic forks we give out with the salads. At least I thought it was a plastic fork.

I was obviously asking for too much outta life, since it yelled at me and ran away, screaming.

fml.

Alright, "Old Man"? I think you proved your point. We've all seen it and noticed you. Ha ha.

Attention valarnet. Since Enjolras has yet again done something asstastic to me, and seems to be feeling appropriately guilty, and because *I* feel really guilty for provoking it, and being immature about something that's really important, and that really matters, we've got a LOT of tension floating around in the cyberspace between us. We're probably gonna be worse in public until we've gotten the air all cleared.

My proposal? Make Out Session!

Has anyone else on this message board realized what an amazing word 'banana' is? I mean, the fruit's great and all. But the word is pretty amazing.

Banana. Banana. Banana. ...then it sort of stops sounding like a real word.

I saw the fireworks LAST night. I blame that old man. He's probably trying to prove some dumb point that he's not old like his profile picture made it look like, and he's really some dumb 12 year old that's into illegal fireworks. I you're gonna get busted.

( More things I find when it's slow at work before the lunch rush. )

Sorry. I guess I should have intro'd myself on here before now. I suck at the net and social networking stuff.

Hi, I'm Renji. Sometimes I type in all caps so people think I'm yelling at them. Right now I'd like to know......who the HELL got this idea and WHY would you want your kid listening to the lullaby version of Nine Inch Nails - "Closer"?! Or THIS - the "naughty horse discovers drugs are bad" kid's book? What is this I don't even

These are the things I find when it's slow during my shift.

Did anyone else notice that glowing green skull in the sky last week, or was I tripping balls?