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I almost forgot how crazy my mom goes for this time of year, like legit crazy person on speed. All the shopping, every decoration, all the things, all the time, every time.

Seriously, I need a holiday from my mother let alone work.

Thankfully my twin high flying brother is back in town which means he can go digging around in the attic for the tree and all the thousand and one decorations that are stuck up there.

And then there's my dad who if he isn't working is trying to drink himself into merriment.

Jesus Christ.

Couple more jumps with somebody else and then I'm good to go it solo which I cannot wait for because as much fun as this has been I definitely want to take to the skies alone.

Pretty sure I know somebody else who might be feeling the exact same way as me.

Seems like rather than a two for one on dreams I got buy six and get three free.

Literally lived through growing up in the Hammond household, my parents divorce (again), hating myself quite viciously, being the First Son, having a twin (who is totally better at everything so no difference there at least) and basically being the black sheep of my family.

No surprise that my head is pounding.

Jesus.

Is it strange that I dream about a zombie apocalypse and I really want to see the new Zombieland movie? One would think that I'd have enough of zombies, but oddly enough I still like zombie related things. I think in this case it's because the zombies are quite as deadly/scary as the ones in my dreams.

Yeah, so nothing good can come of someone who calls themself Joker's Daughter. Especially if they then team up with someone called Killer Frost to destroy an entire village. Ugh.

[Ahsoka]
So yeah, I apparently forgot how intense the emotional bleed-over could be sometimes.

I'll be completely honest, I'm one of those slightly crazy Halloween lovers. If I had a house I'd definitely decorate my front lawn, but unfortunately I live in an apartment so my decorating is on a smaller scale.

Considering how much I love Halloween it's actually kind of funny that I dream about zombies. Speaking of which, it looks like we're gonna start planning to go after Negan. I don't know if this is gonna work or not, but he definitely needs to be taken out.

Halloween related question, what's everyone's favorite and least favorite Halloween candy?

After the piano I didn’t think anything else would surprise me.

I was wrong.

So wrong.

Dream!me has a problem that much is evident. Not that I blame him all things considered.

Whatever is going around the OC, I caught it. This morning when I was running late to get to my class at the gym, one second I was standing in my kitchen and the next I was in my office. Scared the shit out of Jace, who was already there.

So, my question is, does that ability sound familiar to anyone, cause it's definitely not from my dreams.

How the hell is it almost September? That doesn't even seem possible. The summer always goes by so fast, but I guess it could be worse and we could live some place where we'd be complaining about the oncoming months of cold and darkness. And I will admit, I'm looking forward to Starbucks holiday lattes in December, so I guess summer has to end in order for that to happen.

My next door neighbor's car alarms have gone off at least three times tonight. I have no idea what's going on, but it's getting a little out of control. And there it goes again. This had better not continue all night. I'll never be able to sleep if this keeps happening.

I have no fucking idea how it even happened but a piano turned up in my apartment.

How I slept through its arrival is beyond me.

Clearly a skill.

Every year I tell myself that I won't go to the family get together out in the middle of fucking nowhere and yet every year I go and immediately regret my decision.

Like who the fuck does that shit for fun?

If I ever mention a family get together in the future would somebody please remind me not to go and instead stay home where there aren't bugs and dirt.

I will never understand my dad's obsession with fishing.

Well my dreams just took an extremely dark turn. I mean, we live in a zombie apocalypse so it's to be expected, but yeah, I wasn't expecting that at all.

As horrible as things have gotten, I won't lie and say that I didn't enjoy seeing Maggie punch Gregory in the face.

Guess who has their license again!

Late nights.

Early mornings.

Definitely burning the candle at both ends but it’s all good, the hair of the dog works miracles.

Still can’t find my sunglasses though which sucks.

One of my friends suggested that I paint my beard with rainbow glitter for the Pride Parade this weekend, but I'm not really sure that I'm the glitter beard sort of guy.

I painted my prosthetic arm all rainbow colors because I can baby.

It's a bad sign when you can't remember what you did the night before, right? I mean, I remember the bar, the music, and definitely the alcohol but... that's kind of where things start to get a little fuzzy.

I also have the bruise the size of somebody's face on my side so clearly I must have pissed somebody off but yeah can remember literally nothing.

Only upside I can see is that I woke up in my bed and not in a jail cell or in the middle of Tijuana.

Well, fuck

Pretty sure I left my phone charger along with my swimming trunks in Singapore

It's not like I can get them Fed-ex'ed

Guess that means I gotta brave the mall after all

Ugh

So my parents have been talking about coming to visit and maybe helping me move since I told them I was going to move in to Simon's place and save money on rent when my lease expires - no clue how that's going to work since I'm pretty sure they aren't Nephilim are anything that would give them the Sight here unless Magnus is willing to give me a hand with it but there's time to figure that out I guess. Anyway I was looking for stuff that we could do when they came out and one of the options was an amusement park until I saw the article about that accident at Castle Park. People got injured on a wide with a 48-foot drop and even knowing chances of a repeat are low - I'm not risking that with my parents. Even at a different park.

There's something extremely satisfying about breaking boards. But now I need more boards for my class next week. I hadn't realized that we didn't have as many as I thought. Guess I'll be putting in an order in the morning. Hopefully it doesn't take too long with the holiday on Monday. Speaking of, anyone know of anything going on in the area for Memorial Day? I don't want to just hang out at home and do nothing.

Well that's weird. I've never had dreams that continued before, but last night the one I had picked up pretty much where that other one about the zombie apocalypse left off. I got knocked out at the end of the other dream and apparently the two guys I'd been trying to steal from brought me back to their settlement instead of leaving me for the dead to get.

When I woke up, I managed to escape where they'd put me and I ended up deciding they were good people, despite the fact that they kept weapons trained on me, not that I really blame them since I broke into the one guy's house in the middle of the night to tell him that I wanted to help them. In the end I brought some of their group to the place I lived, which was called Hilltop, which was basically one big house, which apparently used to be a history museum and a couple trailers with a wall around it, but we grew our own crops and had livestock and traded with other communities, which they didn't even know existed.

As expected, nothing goes smoothly and shit hits the fan twice, but in the end, Rick's group offered to take care of one of our problems, which would be killing this one guy named Negan who demands half of what we produce. He seems pretty confident that they can do it.

Wow, okay, I'm not sure why I went into so much detail about my dream. I never talk about my dreams. This is weird.

If you had told me a couple weeks ago that I would be waking up to the sound of the ocean I would have called you a liar, but here I am, loving every second of it. Admittedly it would be better if I had a job but... slow and steady or whatever it is they say. Can't run before you walk. I'm just full of these sayings today, apparently. I blame the coffee, I've definitely had too much coffee.

Pretty sure it wasn't decaf.

Maybe I should put this energy to good use, like... job hunting.

Office hell here I come.

All of these doomsayers seem to have influenced my dreams. Last night I dreamt about a post-apocalyptic world with zombies. I've had weird dreams before, but this was even weirder and felt different somehow. I can't really explain it though.

So I'm one of those idiots who waited till the last minute to do their taxes and just had to hunt all over the place for my tax info. It's my own fault though since I kept putting it off. Next year I really need to do my taxes right away so that I'm not in this situation again.

Does anyone else find all these people proclaiming doom strange?

Or should I just chalk it up to 'Another Orange County Thing'?

Alright, I figured it's time I give this social media thing a try.

I'm Michael. I work over at Out of This World Mechanics. Whenever you need your car fixed come on by.

Well this is going to be a very fun conversation for me with campus security. My dad is insisting that I find out what I need to be allowed to have my gun on campus. It's licensed, I have a permit and I know how to shoot. I just don't think that in a sorority house which I swear has to be filled with more than our share of airheads with girls who didn't have the benefit of growing up with a cop and all of his friends from the police department is the best place to have it. No one just happens to know UC:I's rules about weapons on campus do they?

Great, so not only is my best friend dead but they think Spider-woman killed him. Because of course they do! And fuck the Daily Bugle for the editor's personal vendetta against me.

I didn't need that kind of pain in my life but there it is.

Just pretend I never said anything

Alright, so I guess I should introduce myself and stop lurking. I'm Jesus and before you ask, no, I can't turn water into wine or walk on water. It's just what my friends call me and I like it. I'm a stuntman and I'll also be teaching a self defense class at the Wayne Gym. So, if anyone is interested, come by.

Okay, so I saw this earlier today and thought it'd be a funny ice breaker. So, google 'Florida man' and your birthday to see which Florida man you are. Mine is, Florida man charged with exposure at Pensacola strip club.