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Time for some fucking alcohol

So. Don't go outside. You probably saw everyone else's posts about what's goin' on and think 'oh it can't be so bad, I've seen worse!' No way, these buggers are smart. And that makes them scary. I plan to hunker down and sit the rest of this out!

And if you're one of those hero types that wants to look out for everyone else, bless you. After all this blows over, come over to Baxter's and there's a coffee and danish in it for you.

( Audrey )

( Henry )

That is not news I wanted to wake up to, but the large green brutes that came out of that portal in Irvine are from my dreams.

They're very dangerous and unless you're skilled in combat you should avoid them. Even alone they can prove challenging.

In my experience some can be reasoned with, particularly if you can appeal to their code of honor, but these ones are ... beefed up by corrupted, demonic magic. Prone to blood rages and the like.

Well look at that. I killed me a giant ass wolf and a sabre tooth in whatever the hell realm that was. Took some of their teeth for souvenirs and they came back with me! Now I just gotta figure out what to make with these things.

[OOC EDIT: I CLEARLY DID NOT READ THE WIKI CLOSE ENOUGH AND DIDN'T REALIZE DINOS WERE EXTINCT IN THIS ERA AND IT WAS ALL BIG MAMMALS. OOPS. I'M RETCONNING HIS POST AND COMMENTS TO SABRETOOTH CATS ETC.]

Are there any particularly talented healers on this thing?

Well, damn. Got a new dream and boy is it a doozy.

Taserface tossed me and Rocket into the brig after this blue chick convinced him we were more valuable alive considerin' we had large bounties on our heads. Spent about five seconds feeling sorry for myself 'fore Rocket tells me Quill is with Ego. Well I can't have that, considerin' I know what Ego really wants from him. So we hatch a plan to bust out.

Only...we gotta rely on the twig (literally a tiny talkin', walkin' little tree thing) to get my other fin as the one on my noggin' is currently busted. Stupid little guy kept bringin' the wrong stuff like he don't understand a damn thing we're sayin'. I can't even say some of the things he found that weren't my fin. Finally Kraglin, my former crewmate, rolls up with my fin and blubbers some apology about how he didn't mean to start a mutiny. Yeah, well, stupid is as stupid does. Still, I ain't about to kill the only member of my crew left that actually gives a damn about me.

So out we go, struttin' out of the jail cell and down the corridors of my ship and I whistle the hell outta my Yaka arrow. I take out every single one of those bastards. I don't even need to see 'em to get 'em. It was a damned fine light show! I saved the best trick for last: I blew up half my ship - with Taserface in it.

Karma's a bitch, you dumb, ugly bastard.

I think I'm gonna head north again for a few days. This place and I are... fuck it. whatever. no one gives a shit

Well, the bar's toast. That many peeps in one place was never gonna be anything but a bad idea.

I had nothing to do with this bullshit, I want you all to know that. I don't care if the Universe has ears, I didn't summon killer easter bunnies or screaming peeps of multiplying death. This wasn't me.

I will never try that peep joustin' thing again. I'm gonna have nightmares of that sound now. How was I supposed to know them dang things was alive?

Kept the rest as is and now they're chirpin' and bouncin' about. Cute little buggers.

On another note, anybody else seen those nasty bunnies around? The kind that'll tear your face off if you so much as look at 'em?

Ugh, social media. Well this sure is a insane nice website you've got going on here. Now that I'm all settled in, I thought I'd drop in and say hi. Sure beats beating the pavement the old fashioned way.

I'm Jessica, and I just opened up Alias Investigations here. So, if you need a PI, you don't need to look any further.

Alright, so all of you that told me there was nothing good at the end of secret tunnels? You were right.There was no treasure or anything like that. Just the knowledge that our parents are all criminal masterminds or something. They call themselves The Pride. What kind of a lame name is that? My dad probably came up with it. Sounds like the type of thing his nerdy ass would think was cool.

The worst part about moving so far is trying to get my crock-pot back from the neighbor. How do you forget that it wasn’t yours? I mean honestly. How? When you have to call someone to ask if they have one you can borrow - you can’t really expect the person who loaned it to you to believe that, right? The sad part is if she’d asked me flat out if she could have kept it - I’d probably have let her. I mean I have two after all and loaned her the one I don’t use very often, but kept just in case something happened and the other one got broken. I just don’t like being lied to and manipulated like I think she was trying to do.

The King is dead, and I have my home back. And how fitting that the king in this chess set suffered a crack. I do love irony when it works out like this.

All right dreams, enough's enough. My backyard and now my front yard is full of pieces of my ship. Looks like a damn junk yard.

I got cited an' need to clean this up. Anyone interested in figurin' out how to assemble this jigsaw puzzle? Preferably someplace else?

Yeah, I should have seen that coming. Guess some people are meant to die. Couldn't save her there, either. And this time, I take the blame while the Empress's killers are free and Emily is in danger.



Great timing on getting fired too

So, what? You come here to talk about your little dreams, commiserate about how awful your lives are.

Please. I’ve got stories that would give you nightmares.

Hypothetical question. Say something from the dreams got loose, something that isn't supposed to be here. Something some people might consider a monster. Who would you call about that?

Seriously, has anyone seen a steno running around? It's kind of a cross between a cat and a dog. Except bigger, uglier, hairless.

Second question. Anyone have a cage I can borrow? A big one.

So I forgot to share with y'all that I found out what happened next after half my crew was about to mutiny. Someone blasted me from behind and shot out the fin in my head, which is why I woke up with it a while back all busted.

Well, in the dreams when I woke up, I was tied to a chair in my own ship and the half of my crew that turned against me decided to start executin' those who were still loyal to me. By sendin' em out of an airlock into space. Wasn't nothin' I could do about it but watch and feel sorry for myself I'd gotten my crew into this mess. All cuz I was soft on Quill.

Shittiest feeling in the world, watching good men die and being too broken to do much about it. I swear if Taserface were here right now, I wouldn't hesitate to beat the hell outta him and then put him full 'a holes with my Yaka arrow. Makes my blood boil that dumbass took over my crew and did what he done to 'em.

hwy cant i be happ for once? what did i ever do to dserve this?




[ooc: shes obviously drunk, if my intentional typos didnt stick]

I'm new to the area and I'm wondering, what are some good clubs or bars in the area? Actually, they don't even have to be good ones. I'll even take bad ones or dive bars.

I'm pleased to announce that for the next four weeks you can stop on into The Inferno and treat yourself to one of these:



Some weird ass site called 'pinterest' calls it Peeps on the Beach, but I'm calling it Peeps on Fire. 'Cause those little chicks? Are dipped in Bacardi and are about to be set on fire.

Happy ****ing Easter, Valarnet.

IV coffee drip please? No? Shit. I need a vacation. Maybe even one where someone tries to kidnap me again. I could use the chance to break someone.

I haven't had any new dreams since the whole mutant deportation debacle, which left off on a kind of cliffhanger because of course it did.

So I know more is coming and it's probably going to be bad because it always is, but I don't know when or what will happen.

I think I've passed anxiety into acceptance.

Okay.

Say you got a soul mate in your dreams. Transcending history and the world and even changes to the past, you always end up finding each other. Like she once managed to wreck the loom of fate just to save you and risking the complete obliteration of the world in the process.

Say she shows up in Orange County, but she ain't dreamed yet.

How the hell am I supposed to not look like a crazed stalker? Besides not being caught.

Woke up with the world's worst headache. Sure as hell didn't drink that much last night. Found out my fin was all blown up to hell like in the dreams I just got. 'Course I also find out my arrow decided to show up after all the nonsense of the past couple days. I can't use the damn thing now with this fin all busted.

For crap's sake, can this place cut me a damn break?


Also...anyone know how to fix futuristic alien tech?

Here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide) and this is the wonder that'skeeping the stars apart i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

Okay, so maybe the Dreams aren't so bad after all. Just, naturally, there's magic.

The Universe is laughing at me.




Neena

Are you busy tonight, my love?

So uh, anyone happen to see a flyin' arrow anywhere? I was out tryin' to collect a bounty and the damn thing just took off on its own accord. Wouldn't respond to any whistles of mine. Seemed to leave a trail of pink too instead of red, which is strange as hell.

Guess I'm callin' it quits early today.

But if anyone sees it lemme know.

despite my utter hatred for this holiday Taste of Home is having specials today and the rest of the week plus pies baked in the shape of Hearts and all that shit.

Neena
PIES. i have them. happy hallmark holiday, I know we're not close but I've got your back.

Kitty
Thanks for being my bestie here. <3 there's delicious treats for you in the fridge

Logan
what do i say to you? I am sending out a v-day package for you, full of delicious foods. Get over it. Miss you.

Allanon
Happy valentine's day.

Well it looks like it's that time of the month for dreams posts and such. Been a while for myself, actually.

Looks like after Quill and his crew pulled a fast one on us with that Infinity Stone, me and the boys went our own way and steered clear of the Guardians. Back to thievin' and all that. We were on some R&R planet where I ran into Stakar, the man that saved my life and let me become a Ravager. Turns out I'm still banished cuz of my deal with Ego, deliverin' all his bastard kids from the four corners of the galaxy.Quill was one of 'em, but I just couldn't Jackass had the nerve to tell me I wasn't gettin' no honors at my funeral the way Ravagers get 'em, just cuz he thought what I had done broke the Code. Screw him. I didn't break no code.

Then some golden gal rolls up on us and offers a bounty on the Guardians. Well I ain't about to say no to a million credits, plus I know exactly where they're at cuz I put a tracker on their ship after the war on Xandar. 'cept when we get there, that damn rat raccoon set up all kinds of booby traps and kicked the collective asses of half my men. 'course I hung back with the smarter portion of my crew till we could get to that talkin' rodent ourselves. Wasn't so cocky once I had my Yaka arrow pointed at his head. I end up decidin' not to turn the Guardians over and instead sell the batteries the raccoon stole from the golden chick. Next thing I know my crew gets all uppity and is ready to straight up mutiny.

I don't know what's gonna happen next. All I know is I got some dumb shits on my crew who can't do math and I got "Southern Nights" stuck in my head.

Of all days the fucking dreams assault me, it's on Super Bowl Sunday. I think I'll just stay in my office and let security handle the drunks in the club. I don't have the patience for this shit today.

I need a damn vacation from this place. Goin' all Last Days an' stuff on us. I'm gettin' too old for this.

Typical. The world goes to hell as soon as I show up. I'm gonna need more whiskey.

What's with this place anyway?

Ive nevr had tequla bflour and evrything is grt

Okaay. Well, the bar's still open during whatever new apocalypse THIS is, but we're not serving anything that doesn't come out of a bottle until this blows over.

I'm not even gonna tell you how sick my morning coffee just made me, but the whole staff came down with it too.

Hazards of working this week in the middle east: how did i get sand in my canteen? seriously how did that even happen?

And I'm starting to remember why I've never had a job. My skills don't exactly play well on a resume.

In light of the theme at the Golden Globes last night, Dream Me has been having a hell of a time. It's quite incredible what constituted to a woman being "ruined" back in the Edwardian Era. And what constituted as "consent".

It's rather depressing.

Anyway, we took a hit last night since no major stars wore Marchesa on the red carpet. You can thank Georgina Chapman's nasty husband for that. Caitroina Balfe wore McQueen. Several of the men had Burberry suits or tuxes.

I like Georgina, but she'd better file for divorce or she'll be filing for bankruptcy soon.


[ooc: Potential warning for discussion of sexual assault in comments.]

You'd think I'd bitch about turning back into my blue alien self on New Year's but nah. Can't complain.

Didn't I talk on here with someone about getting to go hunt a Yeti?

Guess the abominable snowman from Rudolph totally counts, right?

I dunno what the hell's up with this place, but I'm thankin' my lucky stars (literally) for this. Few days ago I woke up one mornin' and saw I was human again. No more blue, no need for the image thingie. I keep waking up afraid it'll be gone, but so far so good. Nice being back in my old skin again.

Ain't sure what's worse, being compelled to sing a Christmas Carol, or that it had to be Jingle Bell Rock.

For the last two years I haven't been able to even go for a jog and suddenly I get up this morning feeling like I could run a marathon. Nice. Good timing, body. Now we can finally go on that 6 mile run away from all of our problems.

Sometimes the OC gives you just what you needed when you needed it. Okay and being pushed by your best friend helps.

Now let's see if it'll let me take a few days off without getting me attacked being harassed. Probably not. The people who ruined my Alaska trip are still out there. I will end them

Last night's dream wasn't the best. I asked the Doctor to go and see my dad. And I was stupid and did exactly what he told me not to do and it just caused all sorts of bad situations, but...it was my dad. How could I watch him die?

He passed away the same way he did in real life. These dreams are getting too close to comfort now.

My shoulder got messed up pretty bad a few weeks ago. And while I thought I was well on the road to recovery, this cold air is really messing with my healing. Kind of a bummer. But I'm dealing.

And more Dreams. Not really good stuff. So I'm gonna hide inside for a while.

I always find coming home to the quiet after a busy shift a little unsettling.

So the real reason Bats keeps training all those Robins an' Batgirls an' junk is so that there’s eventually this gradually cascading order of vigilantes protecting the city, right? When you defeat one, there’s a slightly smaller one just behind, ready to kick your butt.

Batryoshka dolls.

Okay, that's the last time I have jalapeno vodka before bed. I'm done. Whatever the hell THAT nightmare was, it won't stop coming back to me. Kind of like how the spicy thai place down the road 'repeats' on me.

I can get away from my parents everywhere except in my dreams. I wish I could say that I’d dreamed they were better than they really are but I guess I’m just not that creative of a person. In the dream my dad and I got into it over my report card and he punched me for bringing home straight c’s and not being more upset over disappointing him by not being smarter. And then having to put on a smile and pretend that everything’s all fine and we’re a happy family to go over to his friends house so that they can talk about charity or whatever while I’m having to make nice with a bunch of kids I don’t really know outside of our parents throwing us together.