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HELLO! My name is Valerie Frizzle and this is my first time on a message board thing like this before. So, I'm not entirely sure what I should be writing about, but I might as well give a small introduction about myself.

I am going to Fullerton to get my teaching degree and I want to teach elementary age students. I want to be a general teacher, but I really love science. I play the drums in my spare time and here's a random fact about myself: When I was little my parents told me that my hair was orange because I ate so many carrots (which I loved). So, I tried to go a month without eating a carrot to change my hair color. It obviously didn't work, but my parents had a good laugh about it.

Tell me something random about yourself!

I had a crush on one of my teachers. Anyone else who went to Hogwarts from in 1992/1993 can guess which one.

I don't think I've ever cried so many tears of happiness. I know I haven't been in this country very long, but to see people who have been in this fight for years, decades, even. It's very moving. I don't think I could be any more pleased.

I passed the test. I'm going to be a police officer. I start on Monday.

Thanks to everyone who helped me study or was just there for me in general. I appreciate it.

I grew up in Portland, Maine, but somehow, I never became aware of the North American Wife Carrying Competition that was annually held in Newry, about two hours away. Apparently a couple wins the wife's weight in beer, and five times her weight in cash.

I do accept that that's a substantial weight of cash. It might be the only sport I can see a point in, though I'm not sure I'd try it myself. ... I mean, I have no wife, but still.

( OOC: Cut for a picture - to save your flists )

Why is it that everyone seems so genuinely surprised at whatever fresh hell this place dishes up? I've barely lived her a month and I'm already jaded.

The very first order I received this morning was from a pair of grooms who wanted me to design two suits for their wedding.

Very pleased indeed.

Is it weird that I didn't throw a party or whatever for graduating high school? I just always figured it would, it wasn't really in question. And I start college in August, so it's not like I'm free from something. Just a little bit older now.

I'll probably feel differently when I graduate college, but for now, I'm just going to enjoy sleeping in from time to time while I still can.

You really haven't lived until you've participated in a conversation involving two dogs, a waterfountain and two humans. Especially when that conversation is in perfect classical french and involves the phrase "I would lick cheese from the back of that duck, snickering at the Yorkie that prances past and baiting a Chinese Crested over her "so nineteen EIGHTIES" hairdo.

Unleashed and loving it or what?

Officially living in my car. Again.

Yes, again.

I've still got my phone, if you need to get a hold of me.

[Cassandra]

Thanks for the invite for living with you. I think maybe I should just try to figure it out on my own. I really appreciate the offer, but I have really bad luck with moving in with people. I'll let you know if I change my mind.

Good lord. Every day I work here as the coordinator, the more I learn about things I didn't have to deal with as just a stuntwoman.

We're due to start shooting a particularly difficult stunt involving a horse-drawn carriage jumping off a bridge that's in the "up" position. One of my best stuntmen rings me and says he can't come to work for at least a week on the advice of his doctor. ( cut for talk of potentially gross injury )

So, we'll have to reschedule the stunt, and he made me swear not to tell anyone at work. I'm just marveling that that can actually happen.

I've decided it's time for me to move out of my much beloved condo. It's a perfect living space, but I think I'd like something bigger. Preferably with a basement area.

The thing about being a magician is I like to practice new tricks, and my condo simply doesn't give me the room to do that on the scale I want to.

Is anyone on here involved with real estate, or perhaps know of a good realtor?

[Private to Darcy]

Do you want to help me go house hunting? Your opinion is really the only one I trust in the matter.

BRB GONNA GO MARRY PETE AGAIN

(Seriously, he's the best ever and getting a second honeymoon is awesome.)

When I got home last night from my boyfriend's apartment, I said goodnight to my father. When I awoke this morning, he was gone.

He had been ill for some time, and I had been expecting it. I have completed the necessary rituals like 末期の水, matsugo-no-mizu (moistening his lips with water) and closing our 仏壇, our shrine, against evil spirits. However, I now must contend with the logistics for helping distant relatives fly here from Japan and making sure all goes well with the authorities.

Therefore, I ask. (1) Would anyone happen to work at a hotel or know a good one where I might get a group rate? (2) I have not been able to find an answer - is an autopsy required? I would not want it. (3) I had other business - namely a real estate closing - which was to happen this week, and now it must be pushed back. Do I simply contact my lawyer?

I am sorry to trouble the network with such broad questions. I have studied funeral customs and how to properly handle Father's resting place; I have not studied mundane details.

( Private to Turin and Logan )

In my newest dream, I'm on my way to becoming a knight. I'm pretty sure that most of them think I'm a man. The others hate me because I'm not one. Not that it matters, I'm training and becoming something brilliant. Someone worthy.

I just don't know what that is yet.

I'm kind of glad that I don't have any pets talking to me. It's bad enough with the pigeons.

Gwen, Merlin? The cat is talking.

And demanding fancier food. She's saying that she deserves it because she's named after a Queen.

When you accidentally learn weird shit about your siblings, life gets really bizarre. I will never regret that he showed up when he did, but damn, my brother's a whole LOT more out there than I thought. Time to readjust MY world view.

Tatelock:

Thank you. Seriously. Words can't START expressing how glad I am that you were there.

I am wondering if anyone has ever come across a girl called Mary Eunice McKee.

She would be in her twenties, I think; Caucasian, blonde, with big blue eyes.

She would be sweet and willing to learn, most likely. But there might also be a chance that she would be sly. Manipulative. Disdainful of authority and even crude.

I hope she isn't real. If you have ever met her or know of her, would you be willing to send me a message? It may be very important.

Private to Oliver Queen: I'm going to be late coming over today. I'm going to do something I haven't done in a while - go to Mass.

Personally, I find all these talking and singing animals to be a great deal of fun. Baby Samwise enjoys the crickets that sing outside his room in the evening, too.

I have to say, that Sonic Rainboom was impressive. My subjects are truly capable of great things when their friends are in need.

The blessings of Wadjet upon you all today. Wadjet is the protector of kings, of women in childbirth, and today is just one of her ceremonial days.

Even if you don't celebrate like I do, may your days be happy and blessed.

So Bring Your Dog to Work Day is an actual thing? They were just talking about it on the news while I was eating breakfast. Makes me wonder if anyone is actually taking their talking dog to work today. Might not be a good thing if your dog is blabby and knows you've played hooky from work before. Wouldn't want him to tell on you.

So! Brilliant news! Scientists have designed a minute, but functional tractor beam. Pretty fantastic. What's more, the quadruple helix was found in human cells for the first time!

Also on this day, in 1788, the United States Constitution was ratified. Pretty big day really, for Americans at least. Really the whole world. Today it is the oldest written constitution in operation in the world. Isn't that fantastic?

Also! I just ran a two mile run, gorgeous day out today. Tomorrow I'll try for three! I love running.

If I thought that the dogs that my grandchild own were annoying before, that was nothing compared to the fact that they can apparently talk now. In all my years I have not once come across a talking animal aside from a parrot. Would anyone care to explain why animals are suddenly able to speak English? It's very unsettling, to say the least.

Imagine having an actual discussion with a cat about why he has to be neutered ( probably not safe for work )

I will say, however, that dogs going under anesthetic and coming out of it are the most hilarious thing that I have ever heard, and all the surgeries went smoothly, so there's that. Having my cat berate me for forgetting to change the litter this morning on the way to work though, is something it'll take some getting used to.

How's everybody else in this?

I've got my 20 week ultrasound on Friday. I haven't decided whether or not I want to know the sex of the baby ahead of time.

Also, I apologize if whoever I snapped at earlier is on this network. But, in my defense, it really is NOT your dog's business whose baby I'm carrying. Not sure why he asked in the first place.

Can the animals stop talking now?

Brilliant. Now I'm hallucinating.

Zora was perched on my shoulder and I was idly scouring the internet, minding my own business? And she just coughed out that if she had a knife, she'd "cut a bitch", all over some true crime report that I was idly reading. Then she asked for a cigarette.

Who was I to say no?

I'm...I'm pretty sure my wife's cat just put me on notice. He's tired of seeing my naked butt.

So this morning, my cat woke me up in a manner I'm sure most cat owners are familiar with. She swat at my face until I opened my eyes. At which point she proceeded to inform me that she would very much like to finish the book that we were reading last night after we have breakfast.

And so I started this morning with a few strong drinks. Unfortunately, the problem doesn't seem to be fixing itself.

I didn't drink last night, so I don't think I'm going crazy? But my pet pig just said that she loves tummy rubs and nuzzled into me and said 'I love you, Mommy'.

That's ... really fuckin' cute.

Did anybody else see the awesome meteor shower last night? Alex and I stood in the garden to watch, it was pretty impressive. Like a beautiful light show. I got a few sketches done this morning and if I can make them work there might just be a little meteor inspired collection.

I can't believe it.

When I woke up this morning? No more headaches. No more biotic craziness. I suppose my implant must've finally decided to turn up... I feel strangely complete.

Not even going to touch Reapers in London. Less I think on that, the better.

Either I've been working at Disneyland too long or the squirrels in the tree by the kitchen window really are having a conversation about the neighbors. Either that or I've been drugged.

I keep seeing a woman in golden armour in my dreams.

I have a terrible feeling about what she's going to do to us the planet, to the people I love... even someone who's technically a demigod can't fight against someone as powerful as her.

I just dreamt of the most painfully cheerful girl. I don't know whether I should want to slap her or love her.

...Probably mostly the latter, if her friends have anything to do with it. She's like our princess, I guess

So, uh, that dream thing. I guess I'm part of the club now? They're weird, aren't they?

Also, to my clients who are all on here, I'll send you all e-mails in the morning, but just a heads up I'll need to reschedule our appointments. My asthma's flaring up pretty bad, so for the time being I'll be sort of ... Out of commission I guess.

I wanted to give the Valar people first crack at this announcement, since it was on the Valarnet that I got my big break. Alice, I'm sorry for not telling you beforehand, but I literally just got the title and the okay to proceed with the transfer of capital.

Mrs. Tesla has decided to close Fayth, in Mission Viejo, as she and her husband are headed for other pastures. She's sold me the space and the business capital, and with her blessing, I've decided to reopen under a new name. Fayth was Lulu's brainchild, and I would prefer for her brand to stand alone, unhindered by any missteps I might make.

So, as of this morning, though the signage will need some time to be changed? Fayth will reopen as The Mirror. We'll continue to sell ladies' clothes, but we will also focus on the men's line that Lulu and I had been developing. I'm excited, frightened and will soon be hiring for floor and behind the scenes positions.

Has anyone here learned how to do something because of their dreams? I'm pretty sure I can shoot a rifle now.

Hello everybody.

A colleague of mine told me about this board. It's really nothing more than a vague sense of bored curiosity that brought me here, but I must say, you all lead wonderfully absurd lives. Consider my curiosity slightly piqued.

Also, I'm Jim. How wonderful to get to know you all.

Someone needs to take Remy out drinking. He's watching way too many bridal shows on TLC for it to be healthy for his brain.

Won't anyone help him kill those brain cells?

Definitely feeling something. Doesn't feel like butterflies. I'm not sure where that came from. Feels more like a Flick, Flick, Flick against my insides. Almost like a pulse? But not fast enough to be a heartbeat...

Anyway, there's your pregnancy update.

The weirdness going around didn't skip over me. I just attributed it to what I'm going through. Now I've read online I realize that others have been feeling it, too? Bizarre. Any ideas what's going on?

Today feels dreadfully wrong and a bit awful.

Like I woke up on the wrong side of the bed -- or somehow forgot a piece of myself when I left the house to go to work. I cannot say I appreciate such a strange feeling whilst I'm trying to get things done.

HOLY CRAP, I'M BLIND.

But no really. I mean I was before but I had the thing and -- fuck fuck fuck--

Private to Aang

Please come over.

Thank God we'll be on vacation soon. I cannot wait to go poking around in Alaska.

I'll need a project to keep me warm, and the last of my commissions was delivered today, except for Thor's sweater, which I'm almost finished with.

So who needs something crocheted? I do everything from baby booties to doilies and any size as well. Pricing is flexible, and I'll work on any project you want.

I like closing the shop by myself, in all honesty. I just put my headphones on and go through the closing procedures. With no one to bother me, I can get things done in record time. This is going to be an awesome weekend!

Not that I don't miss having Fred and George around. I hope they're having fun on the camping trip!

But yes. For now it's just me, my headphones, and counting cash. Then home for ice cream and Johnny Depp.

OMFG does anyone know how to calm morning sickness or am I shit out of luck?

Ugh. Definitely starting to show now. Maternity jeans are not fun in the slightest.

In other news, I get the shop all to myself this weekend. Muahahaha. Have fun on the camping trip, boys! Don't mind if I rearrange the whole shop while you're gone.

Right! People that are going camping with me this weekend, are you ready? I've gotten the camp ground reserved [ADDRESS/DETAILS]. Now what I need from you is assurance you're going to bring your own camping gear! I mean I have a bit of extra around but I sure can't give all you some stuff. I am also asking you help buy some of the food. We can coordinate that here if you would like or people can bring their own but I think it would be nice to have a big picnic at least the first day since not everyone knows each other.

It will be fun! Promise. Lots of swimming, hiking and games. Just don't mind if my brothers start pranking you especially if we decide to tell ghost stories.

HOLY FREAKING BALLS OH MY GOD

I CAN SEE!

SORT OF!

ohmygod
i need to go running
like
now