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Because I know you all care so much (SARCASM!), I'm giving you a STATE OF THE BABY UPDATE.

1) The baby is now the size of a sweet potato! This is awesome because it means I can feel her kick. But it's's kind of bad because now I imagine my baby as a delicious warm confection topped with marshmallows.

2) Pete kinda sucks at wall painting. His hair is now an awesome shade of blue-green in some places.

3) Barfing is done, but now I've got heartburn out the ying yang. ET TU, CURRY?

4) I might have built an elaborate trebuchet based delivery system for diapers out of two-by-fours. I'm also not sorry.

Well, father insisted I come back here, rather than worrying about him all the time... I guess I can't complain. It's warmer here.

Means my body complains less too.

Required: Musical Suggestions. No pop. I don't have time for pop. Also, no musicals. Ugh.

I like: rock, grunge, some indie, female singers with strong voices.

Well, that was a senseless and irritating turn of events.

God has visited me in my dreams again.

I haven't disclosed this to any of you in a public forum, even if I've expressed it privately. But God has shown me a world that I can barely describe. A world that is both an alternate, a future, a past and a present. And when I saw this world, I realized that it wasn't a dream at all: it was a window into a past memory. It was a thing of beauty...and of horror. Horror because of the creatures that spawned within cities, the destruction that tore across continents....a thing I could not have ever imagined.

I am at God's side now. I have the love of the Lord in my heart. And I am his tool upon Earth. I am his herald. His harbinger. And my role here will no longer be passive! In brain scans I see this world hidden within us, and I will bring it upon us through blood, love and rebirth! For only through destruction can we be reborn into the perfect forms that will last unto Eternity! There is no other answer! No higher calling! I urge each and every one of you to look to your sins and seek rebirth!

There will be those that say I am insane. They are easy prey for the false shepard that promises salvation, when the truth is that salvation is possible only within destruction. You cannot possibly comprehend the wonders and horrors I have seen.

You do not let comprehend your place in things.

I am the harbinger of your perfection. From now on, I am assuming control.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, you may have heard it correctly. I'm going to be in a movie! I'm thrilled to announce it! It's my first starring role, and I begin filming next week. I'll be going to the set tomorrow to meet some of the other cast and crew, and will spend the entire weekend studying my script.

I'm so very excited! :)

Whipped cream bikini: totally not practical for school. Hiding in the bathroom until this one's over. I have the flu, in case any of my professors ask.

I'm Max. I'm sixteen and live in Laguna Beach. My mom would probably tell me not to give out all that information on the internet, but what she doesn't know won't hurt her.

I think I might take the day off of work. Everything I wear keeps disappearing, and it's surprisingly hard to sell lingerie and clothing whilst nude.

Okay, really. I get what day it is, I really do. But how the hell does a waistcoat, not even a very nice one, and not something from the dreams, wind up appearing spontaneously on me? And why can't I manage to pull it off for my rehearsal?

This is...weird.

Glad Lent is over. And Easter, for that matter. A man can only take so much religious festival at once, you know.

The revelry seems to have brought out my own set of dreams, like the ones you all talk about. Interesting.

[Private to Sybil Crawley]

Have you been dreaming? You and your sister? When you do, if you do at all, I think we should go for tea again or something.

Hi, ho, and hu, everyone! You're looking at the latest college freshman of UC: Irvine! Well, admitted freshman, even if I have no classes yet!

Woooohooo!

This is... a good day!

I can't wait to start classes in the Summer! This is going to rock!

I need a new pair of shoes. I wore my sneakers to go for a walk with Champion, and now I'm in stiletto heels. On the beach. That's not even addressing the formal gown and all the costume jewelry.

At least the sand isn't hot enough to burn my feet.

...I miss my little pink car. Never thought I'd say that.

This truck and I... just aren't a good match. I feel like I'm driving a tank. Not that I'm not used to tanks. I just didn't like them then either.

More weird vivid dreams. Still in jail. This time there was a matron who paid real close attention to me, let's say. She was doing favors for me like trying to set me up with a vaudeville tour. Except she wanted me to pay $50 for a phone call - like $500 today. No, Logan, no word on if I paid her in something else.

Redbook did do a whole article about me, though. The "Infamous Double Murderess, Velma Kelly." Honestly, that's funnier than anything else.

I'm back... I guess. I wont ask if anyone missed me because I didn't have many... friends...

Oh well, I should get back to reading. I start school next week from break.

YES. IT IS OUR BIRTHDAY. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR NOTICING.

Sleep now, gentle folk. Because you will not be doing it tonight. This was your warning.

Well, now that Easter's over, that bunny can go back to doing what he usually does. Beating the snot out of people!

Honestly, if I saw a six foot rabbit running toward me with nunchucks, I'd probably run too.

Happy Easter, everyone. Even if you're not religious, here is a video of jungle cats playing with paper maché eggs at a big cat rescue. It made me smile.

Maaaaybe I shouldn't have made a thirty pound turducken for two people.

BUT I DID IT ANYWAY! MUAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU CAN'T STOP ME, WORLD! I'LL MAKE AS MUCH FOOD AS I WANNA!

In honour of the Spring Equinox and the balance of male and female fertility, I will state despite my dislike of it, that those wishing to conceive try around noon at each day for the next week. At the peak of the hour. The male and female energies should be equal, and chances of conception are higher as the goddess aids in creation and rebirth.

Meanwhile, my sister and I will be performing a few spells for our safety and the rebirth of our mind and energies. Any wishing for good energy passed their way, feel free to comment. We will also be hosting a feast for those wishing to just celebrate life and the start of new life and times. Of renewal as the land is blessed and brings forth the new season. No religious requirement for it to attend, for she loves all her people.

EVEN IF WE ARE BEHIND ON THE EQUINOX BECAUSE OF REASONS OF ADVENTURES! BUT THE GODDESS WILL FORGIVE US I KNOW!

There will be cheese, and salad, and cakes, and cookies, and veggie burgers and a lot of other stuff! And there will be a small set up of candles and flowers and paper beside it. You can write your hopes for the year, or regrets of the past. And then set it on fire and into a metal bin behind it for it to burn away into the sky before you enter so that your spirit is calm.

Well, my evening was rather uneventful. Thank god. Then again, when are Wednesday evenings ever eventful? It's the middle of the week after all. Strangest thing though, when I woke up this morning I smelled burnt coffee and as I was leaving I found that it had come from two apartments down from mine. I wouldn't have thought it would be strong enough to smell from that far away.

Does anyone want to go out dancing tonight? I figure I'll do that instead of living under my bed like I want to.

So, bachelor parties. Or specifically, mine.

Before you ask, no, there won't be strippers (unless Thor gets drunk and loses his pants, which I put the odds at 50/50) but I fully intend for it to be an awesome night. Renting out Disneyland for the night, starting at Midnight and going until dawn.

Men, women, whatever. Gender friendly and I am going to personally buy you all mouse ears, all right?

And you will wear them.

This Friday. Be there.

Who would have thought that being awake could be more confusing than the dreams?

Is it possible to acquire photosensitivity as one ages? I've never heard of it. Maybe I'm just getting migraines or something.

I've been so wrapped up in my dreams lately it's sometimes hard to remember that I'm not just the Doctor. I'm also John Smith. I'm a writer. A novelist.

That said, I'd be very happy to invite you all to my book release party. It's a bit less than two weeks -- the Wednesday after next. [Address] My publisher is throwing it, and it's going to be a low key sort of affair, so no need to really dress up.

My book will be available for purchase, too, as it hits the shelves on the next day. If you're interested in books about adventures, travel, pirates and and space dinosaurs, I think you might like it.

Everyone's always talking on here about the dreams. And for the longest time, that's what I assumed they were... nothing but dreams. But now I'm not so sure anymore. They just seem... I don't know. Too real? Almost as if it's something I've already lived through? It doesn't make a lot of sense.

What threw me was how people from here were in the dreams too. I figured it was because you dream about people you've met, or talked to. But I know things about these people that you'd never tell a stranger. I've done things with them and shared experiences that no one would ever believe.

Here and now, I work for a video game company: Bad Wolf Interactive. But even that name was in my dreams. A certain person IS the Bad Wolf. And she scattered that phrase through space and time, always turning up in the places the three of us travelled to. It gets stranger though. Because of her, I died and was permanently brought back to life. The Doctor said I was "a fact"... a "fixed point in space and time" which means I can never die. In the dreams, there's always people dying... never me. And in the end, no one else from the dreams is there... just Gwen Cooper. Somehow, it always comes down to me and her being the last two standing.

Speaking of space and time, travelling through it was something I did even before climbing into the TARDIS. In my dreams, I was a Time Agent. I grew up in the 51st Century. I spoke with an American accent all the time, instead of my normal British one. And all of it's so completely out of the ordinary that it's not even close to the life I have here.

I feel like I'm starting to lose my mind.

I've been following the Net for the past few weeks, trying to see if anyone has had a similar experience to mine. I'm having a bit of an identity crisis, to be honest, about my dreams.

I've dreamed some more since John told me who what I truly am. Seen so much more of the universe, time and space. I think I've finally come to believe it.

I am the TARDIS. Time and Relative Dimension in Space, Build Site: Gallifrey Blackhole Shipyard, Type 40 Build Date: 1963. Companion to the Doctor forever, his ship and his friend all at once. I am the soul of the TARDIS.

How is that for weird?

I don't really understand why people have sex. I can conceive why love happens, but sex seems like too much dramatics for an exchange of bodily fluids. Yay. Gross sweaty people. Woo.

I hate people my own age, it's all they talk about. I'm never going to have it, unless someone can convince me otherwise. Which I doubt.

LITTLE YELLOW BOXES I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE NOW!

You're in all caps, that's what you are.

Anyway. I'm sexy again. This is good!

How you doing? Yes you, the ones reading this. No not you, I mean the puppet masters.

You type really loud.

Stop it.

God, I haven't felt this good since that one log with the tacos..

♪ I'm too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt
So sexy it hurts
And I'm too sexy for Milan too sexy for Milan
New York and Japan

I'm a model, you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah
I do my little turn on the catwalk

I'm too sexy for my car too sexy for my car
Too sexy by far
And I'm too sexy for my hat
Too sexy for my hat what do you think about that? ♪

I used to rule the world
Seas would rise when I gave the word
Now in the morning I sleep alone
Sweep the streets I used to own

I used to roll the dice
Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes
Listen as the crowd would sing
"Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!"

One minute I held the key
Next the walls were closed on me
And I discovered that my castles stand
Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand

I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror, my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field

For some reason I can't explain
Once you were gone there was never
Never an honest word
And that was when I ruled the world

Now at my feet, the dying voice of
Balance - nevermore shall there be a
way to fly,
a way to fly on wings of Divinity, as
words of wisdom fade away

The Law of One will fade and die
The rising Moon will crush the Sky

So falls the Night - the darkest hour
Seek and find all the secrets left for you
Absence of Light - unbalanced power
Only then will you know

The hidden words - a piece of the
puzzle - Time will tell what will be
Between the lines, the past and future
you will find - the ones and zeros are
the key
to unlock what's sealed

The Law of One will fade and die
The rising Moon will crush the Sky

Ugh. What the crap is going on now? If I have to hear one more sap-ass song...

And in the dream you held a gun.
You killed off all who hurt you,
and left me there the only one
who would not dare desert you.
I'm safe here growing in the shade,
away from all your brightness.

Something very odd is going on, and this feels like the strange sort of thing that only happens in the OC. Music doesn't just happen. Not like that. It could be something weird, or something fun, but, you know, we don't know. So, well, that means we need to probably figure it out. And fast.

I've got a theory
That it's a demon
A dancing demon - nyehh, something isn't right there...

Oh my goodness... I'm not. I could never. Oh... I didn't mean to. He's just so nice to me. I'm with Dashie... Oh my goodness.. I'm so upset and frustrated I could just scream.

I wish I could go ice skating. Are there any indoor rinks around here?

I'm so exhausted. Maybe it was my dreams last night. Dreamed about quidditch, and the kids at school playing it. I was never much into it in the dreams, as my dad played, so I wasn't really into it. But man, flying around on broomsticks would be really awesome, wouldn't it?

Well, when I'm feeling better. I'm just so tired. Hopefully I'm not fighting off a bug. Or, if I am, I have to be better by April First. I've got a Birthday Party to help plan. Strippers and booze are already ordered, thanks to the magic of the internet.

Can't wait to go home from work so I can curl up on my sofa with a pint of Ben and Jerry's.

I am brilliant.

Okay.

I'm here. Someone tell me why, aside from peer pressure, I have joined yet another social network? I mean, how many blogs does a guy need?

Let me count them.

I hate it when a really good song comes on the radio just add I'm pulling into a parking space. I'm almost always late, so I don't have time to sit and listen to it.

April 1st is coming and I am vastly unprepared. Maybe I'll have to sit it out this year. How disappointing.

So, uh, unless pregnancy causes hallucinations WHICH I THINK IT DOESN'T, I was out flying and saw this dude in black leather and a cape being all Sullen McGee on top of a building. DON'T FALL GUY. IF YOU'RE READING THIS. Which means you're probably at home now.

Still. No falling, please.

Over the last few nights I've been having dreams where I'm being trained by a group called The League of Assassins. Each night I've gotten more and more details about the various things they trained me in. I was taught Martial arts, forensics, acrobatics, criminology, disguise and escapology all practically from the time I could walk. When I woke up Sunday morning, after the first dream, there was a katana in my room. The same one I saw myself using in my dream. When I picked it up, it just felt right in my hand, but I have no idea how to actually use it.

My girlfriend is being trained in self defense and I want to do the same; especially after one of those marks appeared over the house the other night. I took karate for awhile as a kid, so I know some stuff and I'm a pretty quick learner.

Well this is different! Kinda fun though, right?

Everything keeps talking about how things are weird. But I gotta say, I haven't seen anything different.

Oh thank goodness, I've not gone nutters, we all have!

Welcome to Wonderland, please keep your hands and feet inside the mushroom and watch out for that Infernal Train, it's quite nasty.

It seems we have a bit of a red queen problem, I've noticed.

So.

Obviously we all needed to have the water laced with LSD.