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If the world's going to end tomorrow, tonight I want to do something crazy that I said I'd never do. Maybe I'll get a tattoo or something.

Massive hangover, but frankly, that's all right. I hope the lot of you who decided to get pissed as farts last night escaped relatively scot-free.

( Private to Alice Ayres )

I've woken.

It's weird to say that because I wasn't asleep, but... it sort of feels that way. After the explosions, and the darkness, it seemed like a long, continuous dream, some voices, some louder dreams, but...

A dream, and not one that took a long time. The darkness seemed to last years, and yet moments, at the same time. When I woke in the hospital, I honestly thought I had been out for hours. Instead I lost a week and some change.

And it's weird.

I'll be in here, probably, through Christmas. The likelihood of me getting out before that is low. And, while that doesn't bother me, it's just an odd thing. Previous to last Friday, I was planning on going to shoot simple scenes this week, and then get back to stunts and action this coming week. And now... now it wont be until around the new year before I can do that, really. If not later.

So... I'm awake. And I'm, bored.

Hello, again, Valarnet.

I'm afraid I've failed to introduce myself, as people seem to do on these things.

The name's Bond.

Best excuses for having a black eye, bruised cheek and bleeding scratches up and down your face?

Am I allowed to say Fight Club? Is that still relevant?

And...okay, best responses to the "you're not my REAL dad" thing? Cause I never really HAVE one...

So, a date. Thing.

Anyone have advice on how you do one of those again?

Dear Valarnet,

I give you a holiday treat from Always to you!


http://youtu.be/wQ5dTb_NhJg

Enjoy!

Warning for Drag Queens, if you want to be warned for that kinda thing.

Thor's alive! Thank God.

I just realized that in a few hours, it will be 12/12/12 here in the states. My wife Caroline knew a lady who styled herself a "mystic", and she always claimed that the day would be auspicious. I couldn't help but wonder if she meant it would be auspicious for everyone, or just for us.

Is anyone planning anything for the day? Just curious. I know there's a fair share of people in this area who believe in mysticism and numerology, and all that.

I hate hospitals. Can't wait to go home.

I feel brilliant, and not just the good sort, but the sort where I'm fantastic and a good person.

Now I'm going to go to work where that feeling will promptly be squashed by cheap beer and men with Roman fingers.

Has anyone heard from Thor yet? Please tell me that Skeeter woman's not telling the truth!

Cardinals suck. Glad not to be one of their fans.

We should probably announce this now. Frodo and I are having a baby!

I think we've reached that awkward in-between stage where people start to wonder, but are too afraid to ask.

We're very happy!

Alright, I'm going to point something out to people. If you don't mind. When you write, tag, mention, or react to a writer who is, obviously out of her mind, and notorious for lies and deceit; you're only making her ratings go up, her viewers go up, and therefore her pay and columns go up. So, stop mentioning her?

That is all.

I don't - he can't be dead and I'm so sorry Oliver and everything is so wrong right now. He can't be dead. He can't. He was so kind and

Does anyone here know of someone who teaches self defense classes?

Huh. Fancy that. Didn't even notice I had one of these things on this blasted phone Stark lobbed at all us months back.

Name's Crowley. Pleased to meet you, I'm very sure.

It was suggested by a colleague that I am in "dire" need of what is commonly known as a "social life." I was therefore directed to register to this network and to attempt to communicate with the local population, in search of what was deemed "fun" activities.

While I could not comprehend the precise reasoning behind a such a random recommendation, I do have in my possession more than one computer in my residence. I decided that one screen could potentially be devoted to monitoring the network for anything considered...social.

I will accept any recommendations, within reason. Having resided here in previous years, I am still familiar enough with the area to navigate from my point of origin to any destination in question.

So everybody on this is crazy yeah? Is it contagious?

I'm not sure it would go down well if I turned up to my new job on Monday and was completely mental. I'd like to at least ease into it.

So I have a kinda sorta random and unexpected gig coming up... three days a week for the next month.

How to explain this one? ...actually, it's sort of embarrassing. I was goofing on this piano at Smyth's fancypants department store -- and someone heard me. He owns a fancypants hotel in Tustin. He wants me to come and play Christmas songs on his fancypants grand in the lobby.

I'm still trying to figure out why I said yes. I think I just miss the piano. You know? Meh, maybe I'm alone there, missing pianos.

...I have to shave and get a haircut and wear a tux. Oh brother.

Actually, this grumpy attitude is all a put on. I'm pretty excited!!

There's so much stress put upon being relentlessly, constantly cheerful around this season. I've had a headache since Thanksgiving.

I'm super thankful for all of my johns tipping double tonight! Hearing 'I'm so sorry you don't have a family to go home to on Thanksgiving' eight hundred times is getting old, but it's hard to argue with loads of twenties as compensation.

Here's hoping there's some places open when I get off that aren't afflicted with the Black Friday Crazies.

Anyone else happen to be non-American? I've got my green card, but I've never been much for this holiday. For one, I'd prefer pheasant to turkey. For two, I always think it's vaguely blasphemous for Englishwomen to celebrate.

I suppose it's a crock-pot stew and telly type of day.

Traditional cranberries are better than canned. Your argument is invalid.

So anyway, work was less stressful to get to today. No break downs, traffic still sucked by I had my coffee. I'm certain all of you really wanted to hear the update on my commute, so you're welcome.

I did see someone go complete road rage on someone, called the police, but I don't know if they ever caught them.

Yes, for those of you who have been asking, Luke's is going to be open on Thanksgiving. We're only serving one thing for breakfast, lunch & dinner though. Turkey. If you don't like it don't come.

Someone has to feed the cooking-challenged of Tustin. I'm pretty sure at least one family would starve to death if I closed the diner for a day.

What life is like.


What life should be like.

If you disagree, you are wrong.

Oh God. Oh God.


We pulled straws to see who's working on Thursday. Guess who one of those poor bastards IS?

Yup.

Honestly, it's not the working a holiday part that bugs me. It's not like I was gonna take the time off to go home for just a day after I'd taken the time to do it lately, and Macy's is almost as good on TV as going into the city proper anyway and stuff.

It's more...

The most stereotypical dramatic holiday of the year, and I'm going to be the one wading in to deliver people who've been enucleated by spoons, gotten laddles wedged places you wouldn't even think they could FIT, families torn apart by the visage of sheer resentment that only comeso ut when they are all together, and turkey fryer related injuries similar to those William Shatner spoke about last year, that has since been remixed ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=8t2dwPTnsyA ) into this delightful video.

Thing is, as funny as that all might sound? It's horrible to look at and be a part of, and that powerless to do much to help people thing...We know what I do with powerless. It isn't going to be good. It's going to be horrible. So completely seriously here?

Please be safe. Follow directions, don't try to kill each other, and for the love of everything that's holy, Valarnet, have a designated driver. Think of your lives, and think about the rest of us this really matters to.

I'd like nothing better than for Thursday to be a night of watching taped Thanksgiving specials from the eighties, and participating in the Trivial Pursuit game we're planning while we wait, or at the least, just the calls from things that people haven't done to themselves. Think about all of that, will you please?

Who else feels like an insomniac? I cannea get to sleep last night for the love of war or money.

I just want to go for a run or do some puhups or kick a bloody football

Yesterday I had a date. It was brilliant. She's....

I feel comfortable around her. Nae like most women. She's grounded, I can tell. Fun. Beautiful. But I think she doesn't realise how intelligent or quick witted she is, which actually makes her sexier in a lot of ways I never realised innocence could.

I'm nearly twenty-six and I've never had a serious relationship...

This isn't normally something I'd write about on a public forum but my psychiatrist seems to think it's healthy progress. We'll see... I'm just thrilled I can move my fingers!

I wish I had fantastic dreams like the rest of you. I just dream about meeting fairly decent looking blokes and flirting with them. And getting hit by cabs.

I know it's long since past Lent, but I'm going to give up something for the next 30 days. (I admit this was totally inspired by watching 40 Days and 40 Nights, and remembering what a fox the boy is in that. And realizing 40 days is too many, but I could probably do 30.)

I'm going to be totally and utterly celibate for the next 30 days. I'm thinking of it as a spiritual cleanse. It shouldn't be too difficult. Anyone else want to join me? We could be a little support group.

So, what do the women of the valarnet do when they really need a romantic and/or sexy hookup? Hypothetical, but wondering.

What's with guys who give you the flirt eyes and the cute smiles at work, but then never actually ask you out? Is it because asking someone out on a date while they're working is awkward or something? I totally would have said yes. He had dreamy eyes and cute tattoos and now I can't stop thinking about him. I mean, I work at a diner, it's not like Luke would fire me for flirting.

Ugh, it is way too early for Christmas shopping sales on telly all the time. There's already a few commercials driving me up the wall.

So, what's a good pet for a single girl in a teeny apartment? I was thinking maybe a hamster or something.

Right. So. I finally got over that whole 'parents will embarrass the absolute crap out of me' bit and got on this network. Let's get this all out of the way. Hi, I'm Harry Potter, and anything James or Lily Potter say is likely a lie, or at least a gross exaggeration.

Any pictures are also most certainly photoshopped. Mom's very good at it, trust me.

Well. This has been my day so far.

Back off, it's as exciting as I get.

You know, the worst thing in the world for an attorney, at least in this line of law, has to be turning away clients who need your help.

As much as it's paining me to have to come on here and make this clear to the vast internet community, consider this my official moratorium on offering my services for any alleged crimes committed this Halloween.

The only way that I can even use the insanity defense, which so many of you are probably about to argue for, is if I can determine that you weren't able to tell the difference between right and wrong. Now, psychologically, that may be true, a lot of you were clearly in a different mind-frame at the time, but there's no proving that given the evidence and witnesses at hand in a good sixty percent of the cases that have come up.

It isn't that you're wrong, it isn't that I don't believe you, it's not that I don't want to be the guy helping every single person here, it's that I can't prove it for all of you, and the lack of witnesses in most cases doesn't do a lot of good on that front either.

I'm not a quitter. I'm not dumping those of you I'm already working with on this for anything, but I won't be taking on new cases dealing with that specific incident for the immediate future. There's just not enough evidence, and my hands are more than full with something that's already proving to be really tricky while I'm trying to build those cases.

That said, I'm going to have to refer you to someone else I work with if you're bringing one of those in and we haven't already talked. I hate to do that, but it's a lot of cases, when combined with the other ones I'm working on, won't give me the right time to build your case or represent you properly.

My plate is full. It's overflowing. And I've never minded overflowing until it comes to this point where I have to turn some of you away. I know that there are other lawyers here who might advise you, or may have some open case time, but right now? It just can't be me, and I won't compromise you, or the clients I already have just to get more of them moving through. That isn't the guy I want to be, and it's not who I am, and I'm not going to start it now.

If you can stand me after that, then...Hi Valarnet. What do we do for fun here?

Last week's run was a success. With the help of my brother, I raised quite a bit for the children on the East Coast, and that money is now wending it's way toward helping them rebuild homes and schools. I couldn't have done it without him.

In other news, I finally got details on my next job. It's a minor pilot put together for a dragon story. I wonder if they will actually spend enough on the budget of the pilot for good effects? They already hired some of the best stunt people I know of, so that's promising.

November 1st, I woke up with a whip clenched in my hand, wearing nothing but a fedora, next to a huge rock in the park. You know, I only wish the circumstances were as fun as that suggests. Indy didn't even get one of the cute students while I was busy being him, much less the hot Nazi.
And here I'd thought that was really gonna be worth it. Was it the height? It could've been the height, the public display? Something else? I really don't have any kind of memory of what I id that night other than the vaguely chasing and being chased by stuff.

And I might've stolen an idol from props storage, slashing the whip at an unfortunate assistant in there while I was at it. And this all sounds a whole lot more porn set up exciting than it actually was. Long story short? I've been laying low since all of that went down, since I don't really want to TALK about it.

Even if it did give me some great ideas for our next season opener.

Also, I found this awesome...thing while fooling around online:

http://vimeo.com/album/65000

It's actually safe, I swear. A delicious cake is the star. There's also crossdressing, drama, and just the right balance of crack and drama to make things stick out. Highly, HIGHLY recommended stuff here.

Seriously, that does it. Anyone here want to teach me how to drive? Car, motorcycle, llama - I don't care, but I ran out of fags and hitched a ride and the guy was super skeevy and that wasn't so much fun.

I could pay someone for lessons if I had to, but I don't even know if that's a thing.

I know Election fatigue has really set in for a lot of you today, but just remember this is a celebration of what it means to live in this country. We are able to elect, able to dissent, able to assemble and able to choose.

The candidates I won't get into. But take the chance today to exercise one of our most basic rights as Americans. Please vote.

So...

Halloween was weird, and Sandy was a bitch, and it's SURREAL to look at all the photos people got of the damage, and think about the possibility of something like that even happening in Brooklyn. Okay, so everywhere, but Brooklyn, hell, my parents and my grandma are still there, you know? Plus, Coney Island is a mess. and, even though it's not as bad as Jersey or the other places? Seeing somewhere you've lived all your life like that...

I don't really like it. Makes me feel all kinds of powerless to do anything about it, but if there's one thing my dreams have been showing me, that STEVE in my dreams has been showing me, it's that I don't have to stay that way.

Long story short, that's why I'm in New York right now. My family are all fine, but that doesn't mean that other people don't need my help too. Took care of voting ages ago, since I expected I'd be on a shift that day, so I've just got the one thing I can help with. Not sure how much good I'm doing, but it's something, right?

Hate my city being Nature's action figure though.

I'm told writing can be therapeutic. Sounds like a load of bollocks to me, but doctor's orders so I'll buy into it for now.

Since my dominate arm will be out of commission for nearly a month following next week's surgery, I've decided to take up a blog. I can peck out the keys well enough with a finger but I can't write with my left hand to save my life. Actually, come to mention it, I can't do anything with my left except stop a football but there wont be any of that for a while yet. And apparently, my musings need to be legible so I can "reread and reflect". Mental and physical therapy together for the next six months. That's a long time to discover untapped left-armed potentials.

If all goes according to plan, I should be back on the pitch by the start of next season. Mid, if there are PT setbacks. I can't bring myself to think on any other scenario, but Dr. Snell says anything is possible.

Dr. Andrews, the madman with the scalpel, has explained as much to me about the surgery as I care to know. The shoulder isn't like a knee. There's 360 degrees of rotation in a shoulder, only 90 in a knee. And in my shoulder, there's no articular cartilage left. Biceps tendon's detached from the bone. Three separate pieces just ripped clean off. And that doesn't include the scar tissue from the bodged surgery in London, or the atrophied muscles. Dr. Andrews says he's going to try and repair my collar bone in the process, but it's secondary to the joint. Honestly, I'm surprised the club is willing to sponsor this sort of rehabilitation. The odds aren't in my favour.

But I'm determined to stay positive! Hope Solo could handle it, the minx. Why not me?

So on that note...

Hello blog. This is Oliver Wood, documenting the road to recovery. Doctor's orders.

Hello internet posting board. What's the normal way to introduce yourself on these things?

I had another one of those incredible dreams yesterday evening. My family and I were still living in England, and my father won the lottery. It was paid not in pounds, but in gold, and he used to money to visit my brother Bill, who was working abroad in Egypt. He was a sort of archeologist, but he called himself a 'curse breaker', who worked with Goblins if you can imagine. In any case, Bill took us all on tour to see the pyramids, the Sphinx and down into ancient tombs that would not be accessible to the ordinary public. The marketplace was amazing, and I purchased a fez, which I proudly wore. Fred and George were monsters, but I shouldn't mention that, should I?

I've never considered a trip to Egypt before, but this dream made me feel as though I'd actually been. Now I wish I could actually go there.

On another note, if you enjoy live theater, may I recommend Teatro ZinZanni, playing at the Segerstrom Center for the Arts. It's Cirque du Soleil meets cabaret meets dinner theater. Highly entertaining. I should add that the meal was also very well done. I went Saturday night with my friend, Margaery and we both had a lovely time.

It seems as if there's no 'natural' way to make an introduction, so I'll follow the lead of the young lady who posted yesterday. (Thank you, Alice, for being a trailblazer.)

I'm Tom, and while I'm not new to town, I am new to Valarnet. In the customary first offering, I give you a cat gif. Take it and bless my stay, oh Internet Gods.

Um, hi? I guess? I'm new here - I've only lived in the area two months, so I thought this would be a good way to spend the time after work. I kind of miss mass transit now. I'd kill for there to be a tube system here.

I'm Alice.

On close reflection, the Halloween antics are probably some deep seated reflection of my need to get out there and drag my life out of the rut I've let it get into. So, I'm going to shake it up a little. I've got some time that I should pick up a hobby in for a couple of days a week after work anyway, and I kinda want to explore some of this stuff so...

Circus Camp. I've found a group for adult beginners that starts up pretty soon and meets a couple nights a week. It's interesting and different enough I'm gonna give it a go. It's not exactly running away to join one but it's the kind of compromise that I can go with.

Let's hope I don't fall on my face, yeah?