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Alright then, I'm back from the dead and likely in need of extensive therapy. No, literally, I was dead for about a month and trapped in the Underworld - did you know it's essentially a more grotesque, red-tinged version of Orange County? Not certain why it was designed that way but in my dreamworld, Underbrooke was a dedication from Hades to his ladylove. That's sort of weirdly romantic, isn't it? Building purgatory with your lover in mind?

Anyway, my thanks to friends and family who were concerned about my whereabouts. I'm quite looking forward to catching up with those who actually missed me. And I know there are a lot of you who have got girlfriends and such but I'd like to inform you that I've got the prettiest.

( cut for image, viewable to all )

Perhaps I'm a bit biased but after being dead such a face was a sight for sore eyes.

You know what else was a sight for sore eyes? Part of my beautiful, beautiful ship. As a 'welcome back' gift, Orange County decided to present me with what looks like the bottom portion of the Jolly Roger. It is my most fervent hope that this place stops yanking my chain in a not fun way and just lets me have my first love so I can assemble a crew and sail off.

That being said, am taking applications for a crew now anyway.

Heading into final exam fortnight soon. Which means by the end of May I should be completely qualified with all my advanced beautician certificates.

It's exciting and scary all at once!

[Private to Jeremy]

So Uncle Renly gave me exam gifts. One part is a spa stay which I was thinking I could take Irisa on with me but the other is a luxury night out. So will you be my dinner date? ;) xxx

[Private to Irisa]

My Uncle Renly gave me exam gifts. A luxury night out for me and Jeremy but the other is a spa stay so I was wondering if you wanted to come with me?

Honestly, the reporting of 'new and groundbreaking' studies is atrocious, nothing scientific about it at all when its only the first study. Why you shouldn't take scientific studies at face value. (Yes, I'm aware it's 20 minutes long, but it was an entertaining segment.)

Even when being called out, I'm sure most people won't care however.

Chris Skyped me yesterday for mother's day. When he first tried to talk me into downloading the thing I wasn't really sure, but it sure was nice getting to see his face again. He told me all about the great mother's day that he had with his family in New York, and then I told him a couple of stories about our mother which I think he appreciated. Kid seems to be doing alright though. Apparently he's become popular at school now that he's back, and has even convinced his oldest sister to take him volunteering at the animal shelter over there. He can't do much because he's still a kid, but he seems to like the dog walking.

I have some horoscopes for everyone today. :)

( [CECIL'S ABSOLUTELY TRUTHFUL HOROSCOPES] )

I've done a lot of and been a part of a lot of weird stuff since signing on to this network. I mean a lot of weird stuff. I was a photographer for a wedding that literally took place in space I've had monsters, ghosts and people stick their hands in my chest on several occasions (I do not understand this obsession). My apartment is officially haunted and I've been turned into a demon horse.

Still, the weirdest thing that I have witnessed by far is my mentor and captain literally rising from the dead.

That's it. I'm done. I have officially seen it all.


Welcome back, Captain.

I hope everyone had a lovely Mother's Day. I spent a nice day in with my mother and my daughter. We didn't do much to celebrate the holiday, actually, other than foregoing chores for the day. But that's pretty much the best way to spend the holiday, isn't it?

Oh, the saga of Vampires in Mystic Falls continues. We got rid of Silas, and now my Dream Self is suffering some pretty serious PTSD.

If anyone needs me, I'll be drinking.

It looks like I'm the recipient of one of these dream gifts. Go me.