cecil gershwin palmer. (lot37) wrote in valarnet, @ 2016-05-09 16:54:00 |
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Entry tags: | bo dennis, cecil palmer, damon salvatore, fenris, justin taylor, sans |
I have some horoscopes for everyone today. :)
ARIES: Fortune is coming your way. OR IS IT? You will only know if you take the chance and leap. Maybe it will be worth it in the end, MAYBE NOT. You could die horribly, Aries, but this is just the risk you take by living. Your clock is ticking.
TAURUS: What do you want in life, Taurus? Think hard about it. Do you have a vision of it in your mind? Good. This week is the week in which a life changing decision will affect whether that thing you want in life will be given to you or not.
UNLESS IT'S A CANDY BAR. YOU CAN ALWAYS HAVE A CANDY BAR. IF YOU'RE ON A DIET, HAVE A CHEAT DAY. IT'LL BE GOOD FOR YOU.
GEMINI: You've had a lot of trouble in your life lately, like the kind of trouble that makes you think someone (like a celestial being -- LOOKING AT YOU GOD) is out to get you. FEAR NOT, GEMINI, GOOD THINGS ARE IN YOUR FUTURE. If there's someone you've been reallllllly crushing on, this week is the week in which they will most definitely make a move on you.
If you're in a relationship, your partner will try to spice things up.
If you are asexual, aromantic, or just don't care about relationships, friendly animals will come out and want to be petted by you.
CANCER: Cancer, you look great today. Like, super great. Have you been doing something else with your morning routine? It's working for you. Keep at it.
LEO: Oh, Leo. Leo, Leo, Leo. You seriously need to chill. You are always on the go. ALWAYS. And that's great and everything, but a vacay would do you some good. So take it. You want to go on a cruise? Do it. Want to go backpacking in Europe? Europe is great this time of year! Just need a day at the beach? CLEAR YOUR SCHEDULE.
VIRGO: You're a leader, through and through. You take control of your life, your checking account, your job. The stars think it's time for you to teach your ways to people who are weaker at those things. Heck, you might even earn a lifelong friend from your padawan.
LIBRA: Listen, we're all happy for you. The stars are happy for you, but please. No one actually cares about your baby pictures on Facebook, or how much you kiss your lover, or how good you are at cooking. TAKE IT DOWN A NOTCH OR 3.
SCORPIO: Remember that friend who borrowed that movie or TV series or book or video game from you ages ago? You're not getting it back. The stars offer their apologies.
SAGITTARIUS: Don't take too many risks right now. It's not worth it. Life is fine the way it is. If you try too hard this week, there might be dire consequences. It's a great time to catch up on TV. LIKE, OMG, ARE YOU UP TO DATE ON GAME OF THRONES? DID YOU GUYS SEE WHAT HAPPENED ON THAT LAST EPISODE? CRAZY.
CAPRICORN: Go donate to a charity or do some volunteer work. You'll feel so much better about things after you do. It's the little pick-me-up you've been needing lately.
AQUARIUS: You are perfect the way you are. The stars want to remind you this. Even if you will be alone for years to come and might adopt 10 cats. THAT'S OKAY. You don't need to change yourself to find happiness. You are perfectly imperfect.
PISCES: Whatever you're doing, STOP. IMMEDIATELY. JUST TRUST ME AND THE STARS ON THIS.