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Ways to Get Bloodstains Out of Sheets:

1. Hydrogen peroxide + lemon juice
2. Crushed aspirin paste!
3. Meat tenderiser, but only the unseasoned kind
4. Spit
5. Other methods?

I'm really hoping my dreams sod off for a bit. Peter Pan's supposed to be this diabolical genius and he couldn't figure out how a door worked, apparently there aren't any in Neverland?

There are few things more pleasurable in this world than watching my children playing in the sunshine. I am glad that the winter is behind us, and spring is in the air.

Today, on things I can't talk about, but the media somehow can:

Portable Laser Weapons.

Welcome to the future, ladies and gentlemen. Please use your laser-mounted roof rack responsibly.

Okay first of all, am I going to wake up with injuries after every freaking dream I have? Because that's totally not cool with me. Also definitely don't like those Cabal assholes for breaking into our home. I wanted to take them all out, but no, the Morrigan intervened.

But hey, my dreams left me my shiny badass gun, so I'll take that. I still want the motorcycle though. Do the dreams take requests for gifts because yeah, the motorcycle's definitely my request.

I just saw the BIGGEST SPIDER EVER in my bathroom! Where's my husband?? Where's my best friend?? WHY IS NO ONE AROUND WHEN I NEED THEM??

I hope it doesn't kill me.

I'll be hanging around outside until someone gets home to save me.