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Hey, it's 2013 in half an hour and the world didn't fucking end. Talk about waiting for something your whole life and it not coming to pass. Obviously not disappointed; still, would have been nice if things had gone to plan.

Well I guess this means I have to go to the store now. Fuck.

So I'm drink, and I've been drunking all night. Pansys with the floor dancing and I think I might... don't know where my keys are.

Oh and...

John... er... there are probably lots of Johns. Watson... there. Anyway, hey! Hi, how's the day? Great. Same for you Sherlock.

Uh... don't eat the bread in the bread case. I'm growing mold on it. It won't kill you or anything, but may give you explosive diarrhea. And by may, I mean it will. It's the stuff in the red bag...

I...

Maybe it's in the blue bag.

Hey, don't any bread in the house. Alright? I forgot to label it.

Oh and before you try to sniff and smell it, it's not fully grown yet; so, it likely won't show up, and is a bit odorless. It's kind of a new breed I'm working on.

I'm drunk! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! Year of the Snake!!! Woo!!

Seriously, what was that, I don't even.

It's been a crazy day and night. But hooray for 2013!

I'm going to go to bed now, as soon as the nice taxi lets me off at home. Big Mac, pancakes. You know you want to make them for me. I'll be over when I'm sure I'm not too hung over. I'll text first.

If there's anyone who wants to come to my place for drunk snuggling, and you have a reason to suspect I would be up for snuggling you sober (you know who you are), please come by. I'm in a super snuggly mood, and all I have to snuggle is my bathrobe. It is not terribly affectionate.

Happy new year, you lot.

To the New Year
BY W. S. MERWIN
With what stillness at last
you appear in the valley
your first sunlight reaching down
to touch the tips of a few
high leaves that do not stir
as though they had not noticed
and did not know you at all
then the voice of a dove calls
from far away in itself
to the hush of the morning

so this is the sound of you
here and now whether or not
anyone hears it this is
where we have come with our age
our knowledge such as it is
and our hopes such as they are
invisible before us
untouched and still possible

There are nights when you realize, despite your most morbid curiousity, you just should keep from asking questions if you know what is actually good for you.

Slightly burnt, but still delicious squirrel cookies in red, white and blue is one of those mysteries that I never REALLY want to understand isn't it? I'm not complaining really. There's also plenty of espresso here so I'm content enough.

Although if that's the case, why do I still WANT to ask my giggling friends for details?

Someone please send help?

Note to self. You feel better when you spend New Year's having sex instead of drinking yourself sodden.

Does anyone have extra strength Tylenol? I don't recall the last time I had a hangover this bad. What exactly happened last night?

I think I drunk dialed my grandparents last night...

And my aunt.

And most of my contacts who weren't already making cookies.

Jolllly, darling, do you remember what possessed me to decorate gingerbread with american cheez whiz?

Because ew.

I suppose it's about time that I introduce myself, seeing as how it's a new year and all. I'm Martha Jones and I currently spend most of my time at St. Joseph Hospital. I'm finishing up my residency, so that I can be a full fledged doctor. And when I'm not at the hospital, I tend the spend most of that time at home, which gets extremely boring, so this year my New Year's resolution is to get out and make friends.

You guys are so cute with your little hangovers. I am the queen of no hangovers. Because I know the voodoo secret to never ever having one.

And no, I don't mean don't drink. God, I'm not even sure what I did last night exactly. I think I took my top off. Huh.

Anyway yes. No hangover. Because I'm amazing.

I wonder how many "bagel injuries" we'll have this week.